A woman about my age (late 50s) moved into my mother’s CCRC, in the IL section. The next youngest people there are early 70s, most are late 80s to 90s. Why would you want to do that? She is a high energy person and kind of wears the other residents out.
Actually, my folks function amazingly well, but sometimes exercise rather questionable judgment.
Very interesting article.
As usual I am dismayed by the number of commenters who believe that adult children should be caring for parents in their home, that long-term care facilities of any kind are wrong.
I would love to be able to care for my mother, but I would have to quit my job and add on a ground floor bed and bath. It would mean I’d never get any sleep and destroy my marriage, but mom would be happy, right? Bah.
My grandparents were fine til the days they died. We should all go that way.
My mom had another dr appt today. Her doctor is a nice woman, but we shouldn’t have to remind Dr that she (Dr) removed a medication. Dr did finally agree to a referral to a urologist for persistent UTIs. Now the Dr is concerned about mom’s memory and wants her to see a neurologist. We’ve been trying to get a referral since late summer, mostly die to the seizure-like events/poss. mini strokes. It is exhausting.
My dad’s mom was fine up until that last month before she died at 90. I’d like to just go happily in my sleep and not be a burden to anyone, but sadly, that rarely happens, especially when there are so many ways to keep people alive these days.
H’s GF could still golf 9 holes at age 90 (someone would drive the cart for him), but could not see where the ball went due to cataracts and weak eyes. Soon when unable to live alone, was happy to go to nursing home - had a large TV and his son visited every day. Died just before age 97; he had 5 sisters that lived from ages 103 to 108.
Going in one’s sleep is a ‘happy death’, something Catholics pray for.
Sorry you are the lone one seeing after your parents @HImom . Hope the others can be more supportive, with pangs of compassion or even out of guilt.
@eyemamom Hope all is going well.
Ugh…today was rough. I’m at the hotel now but I may need to go back. She’s in icu and got moved back to one on one care. They’re getting tons of fluids off her lungs, they put in a temporary pacemaker but she is literally out of her gourd. She keeps trying to pull everything out, we have to keep reminding her where she is and that she just had surgery. I needed a little break, I’m exhausted. The nurse just called so we could talk to mom and tell her we knew where she was and she had to stay a few more days, that she just had surgery. The nurse said it wasn’t necessary to come back but I don’t know if I should or not. Some things are funny…she thinks she saw a wall of candy in the lobby and she keeps asking for a piece, but just looking at her I see how confused she is and she gets feisty and wants up, etc. She hasn’t slept a wink today. Last night her windpipe closed so they are only allowing liquids and she keeps asking for food. I actually feel badly for the nurse tonight. If she would just fall asleep in think it would help. I did mention she had chronic utis if that could be making the situation worse.
Can’t they give her something to help her sleep? That would be a relief for not only your mom, but for you, your family, and the hospital staff.
so sorry eyemamom - your mom’s experience sounds like it’s been a more rocky post-op than the experience we had. Although post-op anesthesia issues are more prevalent in older people, perhaps checking for a UTI is a good idea. Might they give her something to help her sleep? Lack of rest can exacerbate all these symptoms as well.
She had an issue breathing last night so they won’t give her a sleeping pill. I hope they check for a uti. I just read this can last weeks…good grief! I will be curious if she ends up remembering much of this. I’m going to grab a nap and call back in an hour or so.
Some feel sedating the elderly, post-op, brings its own risks, including pneumonia.
Articles about post-operative delirium: http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2012/07/post-op-delirium; http://www.healthinaging.org/resources/resource:prevention-and-treatment-of-post-operative-delirium/
I hope you and your mom feel better soon!
I would think the hospital is on top of this, knows how to manage all sorts of post op issues in the elderly. But this is from NIH, things to look at, when delirium is present. I’m abridging.
"Labs: Routine blood work includes: electrolytes, glucose, arterial blood gas, calcium, phosphate and magnesium. Correction of the underlying abnormality is completed to reverse the delirium.
Infection Work-up: Urine analysis, pneumonia (chest X-ray), blood cultures…In the older patient, occult infections present without the usual physiologic response of a younger adult such as fever and leukocytosis Expeditious treatment of the underlying infection is performed medically with antibiotics and when appropriate surgically with drains or re-exploration
Meds: The older patient’s postoperative medication orders should be tailored to avoid these medications, or when necessary, utilize lower dosages. The aging brain is more susceptible to developing delirium when exposed to anesthetic agents; the most common three medication which result in delirium are benzodiazepines, morphine, and anticholinergics…"
Some studies show lighter anesthesia results in less delirium, but I’d guess heart surgery isn’t a candidate for that- so, her body is slowly ridding itself of after-affects.
I remember that they kept running various tests on my mother, after CABG. She was annoyed.
Best wishes.
Well, one sis and one bro of the 6 of them are stepping up. Could be worse.
Eyemamom, my dad had post-anesthesia hallucinations after surgery to replace a broken hip when he was 87. It was really scary–he kept yelling at my stepmother, thinking she was sitting at the foot of his bed. And he imagined a long story of a car accident with me driving him that he believed for months. The aides found him in the bathroom just a few hours after he was transferred from the recovery room to a regular bed. Scary to think how much damage he could have done to himself getting there. Of course they restrained him after that but he kept telling me that he had to get out of bed.
After a day, they gave him a dose of Haldol. A day to sleep it off and then he was back to normal.
Hoping for the best for your mom.
Any comments on retaining fluid? Since he moved in to AL in late November, FIL has gained 20 pounds, he says on a VM that he had a medical appointment and the weight gain is fluid not fat. He is having an EKG tomorrow
Funny, apparently he said nasty things about the AL place to the receptionist at the cardiologist’s office. She called the AL and they called my BIL to report it. As if we can do anything about that! But funny that he was outed.
Retaining fluid can be the sign of a heart problem. When my dad was retaining fluid after surgery, it was because he’d had a heart attack but my mom and I didn’t realize it.
Well, the folks seem pleased about a new fridge with an ice maker and another new one for patio while hauling off 3 broken ones. It was a better outcome than expected. No idea when delivery date will be, but hopefully soon.
My mom has had delirium from anesthesia as well as from UTIs. I hope it clears up quickly. (The loopiness can be kind of funny, though. My daughter saw unicorns, my mom was seeing poorly-put-together store displays.)
HImom, glad the new refrigerators worked out.
Yea, it’s still a work in progress, but at least heading the correct direction. Now we’re supposed to be on standby for all of Saturday and then beg them to take all 3 fridges instead of the 2 that brother was able to get them to take. I really don’t want dad to get wind of this so he will have them leave two busted fridges. ARGH!