Can you freeze his credit reporting, which should prevent new accts going thru?
Assume he’s getting a ride to the bank with the ccrc folks?
The bank is about 2 blocks away. It is really an easy walk.
I second the freeze the credit. Helps against credit card fraud, too.
Yes, the POA allows you to act as the person IN ADDITION to them. A not so subtle distinction.
Bad financial decisions are really hard to stop if the person is determined. By the time I was done, I had the POA, the health care POA, a guardianship (which actually DOES stop the person from banking or signing any legal document, much like a minor) and a conservatorship. … And the money is all tied up in a trust. But you wind up covering all sorts of bases.
Sounds like if you are on the accounts and are near by, you can monitor finances . Maybe add mobile alerts if balance is below X. Since the bank knows him, and they will call you, that is pretty much the best deal. I was too far from Mom to do that, although her bank did know her and helped me a lot.
@GTalum do you have an online account? You check regularly? Some you can get alerts when low, limit amount of withdrawals per day, etc. Other than that I cannot think of any other thing to do. Keep the balance low and they are already rejecting his applications for credit cards. It seems that the worse part is his frustration and possibly causing a scene at the bank. But since they already know him and have a good relationship with him and you that is a good situation.
@GTalum, I am so sorry, remembering the sadness and frustrations of dealing with the inevitable decline. Just when you think you have it under control…
We’re here for you.
Yes, I do. It works great. I will look at setting limits.
Such a great community!
Haven’t posted in a long time. My mom has been gone 3 years. I have three friends right now who are caring for their elderly parents. Two of my friends lost their fathers this past weekend. One was 82, one was 93. Both were Veterans, both were engineers. Was amazing to read about their lives, as I only knew them as feeble old men. We need to remember that these fragile creatures that we take care of still hold the spirit and wisdom of young men just like our sons.
I also haven’t posted in a while. However, my sister just tagged me in a video that made me think of all of you. It’s of a man with his elderly father with alzheimers. To have a bit of his father back for a time the man takes his dad out on a car ride and plays his favorite music. They drive around singing songs that his dad knew and loved. It’s a really sweet video and reminded us of how we’d play the steve & edy channel with my mom, or the 40’s channel and how happy that would make her to hear the music of her childhood.
Thought I’d pass that tip along, sometimes they remember the music.
I’ve been watching Inspector Lewis on Masterpiece Mystery/PBS. Lewis’s successor, Hathaway, has been struggling with the decline of his dad, and being extremely inconsiderate to his sister who is carrying the burden. Familiar stuff!
https://youtu.be/EzRrjI8Qgdg
Here’s the link to that video, eyemamom. I saw it on Facebook and was very moved.
Thanks for the powerful reminders about the connection between music and memory. It can remain after much else is gone. I use my iphone frequently when I visit my Dad with severe memory loss. He’ll mention a line from a song, a tv show or movie, and with googling, I can usually bring up a video. He loves it and it extends the moment.
Last week was particularly significant. He has one grandchild who is in her 30s and lives across the country with her family. A great singer, she played Maria in West Side Story while in high school, with my parents attending every performance. While reviewing family members that he sees infrequently, I reminded him of this grandchild’s numerous shows. He held the phone while “Tonight” played and we were both choked up. I hadn’t seen him cry in the 10 years since my mother died. He listened intently, wiped his eyes and commented on how beautiful it was.
Great to make use of today’s technology to access yesterday.
I have been moved by so many posts on this thread and the wonderful care and concern as well as dreadful predicaments of so many here. Until now, I had no need to join in.
However, my 93 year old mom is hospitalized in AZ. I went last week post a first hospitalization, settled her at home with my sister. Now we are realizing that one of the primary issues is malnutrition and dehydration, made worse by her elevated calcium levels. So, I am in for a number of caregiver type trips to encourage nutrition and hydration. My sister can only do so much, and her encouragements to eat and drink are being met with greater and greater resistance. It may all be futile, however I’d like this excuse to spend time with her.
Has anyone here found any sympathy fares from the airlines in terms of caregiver needs, especially for short notice trips. I can access SW, but need to drive 90 minutes to do so, which usually does not make the bus fees added on to trip cost worthwhile.
Sorry about your mom, great lakes. There will be no sympathy from airlines on short notice fares. Many times, bereavement fares are 2 or 3 times the lowest fare. Try Kayak or other cheap flight sites, but on short notice, it can be time consuming to search all the sites. Have been having some luck lately booking one way flights on different airlines, instead of round trips. Best wishes…
Kayak.com shows round trips using different airlines.
I thought this had been mentioned earlier in this thread, but perhaps not. This movie, Alive inside, is a documentary about the connection between music and memory, specifically interacting with seniors lost in Alzheimer and dementia: http://www.aliveinside.us/#trailer
Greatlakes, sorry about your mom, but my understanding is that the airlines have mostly dropped bereavement fares.
I know when my mom was hospitalized and we thought she was dying, I had to buy a next day fare, with no allowances for the emergency. Fortunately, it was after the Christmas holidays and fares were not too bad.
Alaska Air gave me a 10% discount when MIL died, for a flight the next day.
The cheapest way we’ve found of buying last minute fares is using airline points or miles. S and D use them often. The # of points is often the same as if you bought the tickets in advance.
Sorry about your mom Greatlakes. I have had no luck with flying for caregiving needs.
I don’t know your mom’s circumstance, but, when my 88 year old FIL stopped eating, we didn’t push. If he was taken out of bed, he’d fall trying to get back. We let him stay in bed and made food, fluids and assistance available. Why make his end of life a struggle? We called hospice and it was a very peaceful death.
ETA: I wish my Dad and I could sing worth a darn!
I also don’t think there are discounted fares. Unfortunately the airlines like last minute tickets for whatever reason a way to make money.
The recent airline problem was from lack of alliance with other airlines ,as apparently they want to have full price tickets available. I also use kayak for comparison prices. I am not sure if they added Southwest and other airlines on their comparison list.