<p>S1 has checked in, after I sent a text 3 hours after he should have arrived…I finally broke down and sent him one… he is safe and alive, and moved into his new apartment. A little late, but definitely better than never!</p>
<p>I honestly have no idea how that much stuff got into the car. He said he was taking “less” this year. Ha ha.</p>
<p>soozie,</p>
<p>It was stressful when the same son was travelling this summer for his study abroad program. The global phone we got with the international SIM card that was supposed to work where he was going to live didn’t work very well. Okay, not at all. Worked fine in Western Europe, not at all in the Middle East! That was a big waste of money. </p>
<p>He used his Ipod Touch to contact us on FB when he had WIFI. When he got settled into his apartment, we used Skype on his computer. I think I talked to him more this summer than ever - he was getting pretty homesick. </p>
<p>Anytime he travelled from one area to another, or one country to another, I asked him to check in. He did a much better job while travelling this summer than he does during the school year.</p>
<p>SamL, glad he contacted you and now you can breathe. Mine know they have to call when they arrive on a trip, for my sanity! </p>
<p>Speaking of texting, I don’t have text with my kids either!! Oh, shudder, I can hear it now…"she must not be close with her kids…she doesn’t use FB OR Text Message!!) 
However, I don’t get cell reception where I live. I only use my cell for travel. Thus my kids use phone and email with me. And this year, my oldest is also using Skype due to being in Europe all year and it is free and I can SEE her as a treat as the time spans we have to go without a visit are longer than usual.</p>
<p>I cross posted with you SL, and so my post 203 was in response to your first post of the two. </p>
<p>Yeah, the one thing I insist upon when they travel to far off lands is that we have phone contact/service. So, when D1, for example, spent three weeks traveling around Cambodia and Laos and it involved some remote places, we actually rented a Satellite phone. In Europe, she has a Swiss phone and a French phone. She also has an American phone and while that is more costly, she used it when she recently went to Cyprus and Israel. My younger one was just in Europe for two weeks with her American phone. Costly but I needed that to be for my sanity and also one week she was alone in Paris and hadn’t been alone in a foreign country before (had always been with others). She is going to Abu Dhabi in about a month. Again, we will line it up so her American phone works there. Our kids have lots of independence but I can’t go without knowing they can contact me and vice versa and they do have to call upon arrival, etc. even if in the middle of the night my time!</p>
<p>No texting! Poor Soozie! </p>
<p>Hope your D loves her new job! And that she sent you some chocolate from Switzerland. ;)</p>
<p>Skype is nice. We did have some major wifi/internet connection issues where the kiddo was living. Sometimes we had to resort to the instant messaging chat feature instead of the video feature. Still it was great to see his face once in a while!</p>
<p>soozie,</p>
<p>Next time one of my kids travels abroad, I will be getting them a world phone, even if I have to rent it. </p>
<p>My younger D was in Europe this summer and the people she was traveling with convinced us that she wouldn’t need a phone and could get to internet cafes. With the schedule they kept, it was impossible for them to check in. They didn’t have time. It made me nuts with worry. Fortunately, one of the girls in her group had an iphone and posted blog posts, which was reassuring to the families back home. </p>
<p>Your kids sound like they have travelled a bunch. This summer was the first time I had two out of the country. The nest was a little emptier than I was prepared for. I think I spent a lot of time on CC during that time!</p>
<p>My girls actually met up in Europe this summer because by chance, younger D was performing near where older D was working this summer and had to fly into the same airport. That was neat. Older D has traveled a great deal and lived overseas many times (she just turned 24 a few days ago). This will be the longest stint yet (one year) but she will come home at least once to visit). </p>
<p>But their having a phone is essential for me if they are gonna do these things!!!</p>
<p>D did not send chocolate from Switzerland, BUT last summer, I went to visit her in the French Alps and we drove across Switzerland and I had some then. However, while this is OFF TOPIC (denise may be happy!! j/k), I just sent 24 homemade chocolate cupcakes to Switzerland for D’s birthday, the first one we have been apart, and they arrived in one piece!!!</p>
<p>I have GPS on my kids’ phones, they just don’t know it. Just kidding. </p>
<p>My ways of monitoring my kids:</p>
<p>1) I check their text messaging pattern (down fall of being on my plan) - whenever there is a up 20 messages to one number within 1 min, it’s an indication of a new boyfriend.</p>
<p>2) When they tell me “I am having the best time ever” of any new venture (intense college summer program for high school kids) , it’s an indication of a new boyfriend.</p>
<p>3) When they tell me “I miss your guys so much, I want to come home now,” and they are at a place like Australia or Fiji, it’s because they broke up with their latest boyfriend.</p>
<p>4) When they tell me, “I really don’t like the dress we bought for the dance.” it means someone else got the same dress.</p>
<p>5) When I ask D1 how late did she stay out the night before and the answer is always around 2 in the morning…was I born yesterday?</p>
<p>I can tell how my kids are doing with the first hello in their voice. We no longer live in the States, D1 has a cell phone with almost unlimited calling to where we are and she calls everyday to chat. D2 has a local phone and another phone for the States which she could use to call her sister and her friends back home whenever she wants.</p>
<p>As an aside, I mentioned D2 will be going to Abu Dhabi next month (actually to perform). Her phone will be able to be used. However, I recently read in the news that a new law was being passed over there where it will not be permitted to use email on telephones. She has a phone that has email (I don’t) and won’t have her computer for this trip. However, the news said that law goes into affect on Oct. 11 and she is going on Oct. 3 and I’m not sure how long (I think maybe a week) and so that means she should be able to have email with us, I hope. She definitely can call (but kaching).</p>
<p>oldfort, that is such a funny post!!!</p>
<p>Actually, last night, my D’s last night living in Zurich where she worked all summer, she called, because I asked her to (I wanted to make sure she knew to call me when she arrived in France today, and also that I am going away due to a relative who has died). I could hear noise in the background. I could tell it was the tram (above ground subway). I could hear it go and stop periodically. I was like, “you’re on the tram, aren’t you?” (it was after midnight there, and everyone she had met this summer was going down to the lake for one last night in that city…they were from many countries). So, even by noise without a word, I could tell she was not in her room, LOL. Of course she never said she was in her room.</p>
<p>I haven’t read through this entire thread, but I don’t think doing so would change my mind in the slightest about what I’m going to say.</p>
<p>Parents should not friend their children on Facebook. If your child friends you, I think it’s okay to accept. But it’s imposing on them when you attempt to friend them. Facebook, at least for teens and college-aged kids, is a place to organize and share things with friends. You being able to see your child’s Facebook page is practically tantamount to you following along when your kid hangs out with friends. It’s going to make them act differently on the site, and basically stifle some of their social life. </p>
<p>You can’t say I’m overreacting - many of you have admitted not only to studying every little wall post your child has very closely, but even disapproving of pictures that don’t depict illegal acts. If your kid has a goofy photo with friends, so be it. Friending your kid on Facebook faces them with a hard decision - rejecting you and hurting your feelings, or subjecting practically every single aspect of their social life to your often overprotective and overly critical scrutiny. Why would you want to do that to your kid? (I realize kids can block parents from seeing certain information, but I also figure that many who would be hurt at a friend rejection from their child would also be hurt to see a limited profile.)</p>
<p>If the only reason you have for being on Facebook is to see every single thing that your child writes, then you’re on it for the wrong reason.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, I think it’s inappropriate for employers to use Facebook as part of a hiring decision, too. Someone’s personal life (barring things that put the company/employer in jeopardy) should have no impact on their career. A picture of somebody doing something silly or a post containing what some may perceive as vulgarities on a SOCIAL network should not affect whether or not a person gets a job.</p>
<p>Well, I think there are differences in how people use Facebook.</p>
<p>I joined Facebook because my S bugged me to when he was in high school. I post things to my wall a couple of times a year. I’ve enjoyed reading his Facebook posts, he and his friends use it to post goofy things to each other, and I’ve seen some really great pictures of him and his friends.</p>
<p>I’ve always tried to respect his boundaries. I never post on his wall. I rarely comment on his posts. I have to say, my ex and my SIL are less respectful of his boundaries, and I can see where kids might not want their adult relatives to be engaged in this way.</p>
<p>Now that he’s at college, that may change. He may post less on Facebook, or relegate the geezers to a limited view. I’ve taken to posting occasional things about home life on my wall, so he can feel a part of things when he’s not around.</p>
<p>"For what it’s worth, I think it’s inappropriate for employers to use Facebook as part of a hiring decision, too. Someone’s personal life (barring things that put the company/employer in jeopardy) should have no impact on their career. A picture of somebody doing something silly or a post containing what some may perceive as vulgarities on a SOCIAL network should not affect whether or not a person gets a job. "</p>
<p>Clients, patients, etc. may judge a company by what’s on the company’s employees’ FB walls.</p>
<p>Just putting it out here; If you friended your kid on FB, do your kid’s friends on FB know that you are there?</p>
<p>Igloo, you can check anyone’s friend list if you have access. So if their friends do a search, they will know. If they don’t and you don’t post on their wall, they won’t know. My oldest recently put a privacy setting on my husband and me after my husband, who joined recently, posted a couple of times on his wall. I had carefully refrained from doing that, DH didn’t grasp that concept yet, so now we are both blocked from his wall. I can understand why he blocked DH (although I think DH got that he should refrain from posting.) I think I got blocked for fairness reasons.</p>
<p>It doesn’t seem right if other kids don’t know that parents are reading what they post. What is generally assumed; Do kids expect parents at their friends wall or do they generally not? If kids generally do not suspect parents on their friends wall and post, it would seem only fair for kids or parents to come out and say that their wall is parent monitored.</p>
<p>I have had several of my sons college friends friend me on FB. High school ones, too.</p>
<p>There are plenty of privacy filters that can be used - filtering them from seeing photos, posting on walls, etc. The kids may already do that, but why should a student have to tell all their buddies who or who doesn’t have access to their page? Most of the kids in college have hundreds of “friends”, and don’t seem to be that particular adding a new acquaintance to their book of friends. </p>
<p>It all comes down to relationships with parents and making sure that each side respects the boundaries, whatever they are.</p>
<p>Igloo, first of all I think the age of the “kid” matters. I have adult relationships with some of my grown daughter’s friends, for example. I doubt my adult kids feel any need to inform their friends that I can see their wall. As for my high school kids’ friends, it’s his responsibility if he wants to tell them his parents can see his wall, etc. I couldn’t tell them if I wanted to, except the ones I’m friends with who have already figured it out.</p>
<p>I agree with about adult children. For HS kids, would they post differently if they knew parents see them? If so and if they are not aware some walls are monitored by parents, they should be made aware. I think it depends on what kids assume. Do they think they will be read by parents when they post? Keeping boundaries is all well and good between parents and their own kids. I don’t know how that works with someone else’s kid.</p>
<p>A lesson for all “kids” and adults alike on FB…don’t post something you don’t want seen by the whole wide world! Even with privacy filters, etc, it’s best not to post something you wouldn’t want grandma to read/see.</p>