<p>pugmadkate, just to clarify, I used the word “description”, not “definition”. I would never think that you thought your son was defective in any way, I just liked your choice of words to describe the issue.</p>
<p>“Please list these many unnatural hoops Pop’s parents are jumping through.”</p>
<p>Every single conversation that Pops’s parents hold with others will be stilted and bizarre. Imagine this:
In the grocery, the checker says, “OH! What a cute little boy you have!” The parents say, “It’s not a boy. Or a girl. It’s Pops!”</p>
<p>Imagine this:
In the doctor’s office or the ER, the parents are asked to fill out paperwork. The gender box is left blank. This will create the need for MUCH more interchange about gender than just marking F or M.</p>
<p>Imagine this:<br>
Pops sees other little kids dressed in either traditional boy or girl clothing and asks, "Mom, can I have a dress (or overalls with construction equipment on it)? Mom answers, “No Pops. We don’t want anyone to know whether you’re a boy or a girl!” Pops says, “UH…WHY?”</p>
<p>Imagine this:
Pops is at the playground with other children. A little girl approaches Pops and says, “You wanna play?” Pops says, “Yeah!” The little girl takes a look at Pops and says, “Are you a boy or a girl?” Pops says, “Mom and Dad said I have to keep that a secret!” The little girl looks very confused…she has no idea what is so bad about saying you are a boy or a girl.</p>
<p>Imagine this:
Pops’s mom gives birth at the hospital, and the nurse goes to put the little band on Pops’s wrist which says, “Baby Girl _______ or Baby Boy ______.” Pops’s parents say, “No…no band for Pops! Our baby cannot be identified by a gender!” The nurse says, “But what if, against all odds, your child is taken from the hospital? Don’t you want Pops protected by others knowing how to describe him/her?” The parents reply, “That wouldn’t be nearly as damaging as someone’s knowing the gender.”</p>
<p>You get the idea. In trying to hide Pops’s gender, they are only calling much more attention to it.</p>
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<p>pugmadkate:
</p>
<p>That will be news to the community of transgendered individuals, and those seeking reassignment. They believe that gender is essential and innate and profoundly linked to identity. (i.e., undeniable)</p>
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<p>Again, this same community would not agree that biology has nothing to do with gender. It apparently does for them. They often believe that they are biologically misaligned, even where there is no outward sexual ambiguity at birth or later.</p>
<p>I’m not making a statement in support necessarily; I’m just saying that it is by no means a shut case that gender does not proceed (and sometimes, in rare instances of the intersexed, changes) as a result of biology.</p>