He’s not only heartbroken, but also terribly upset that he’s stuck at UC SC alongside his ex, meanwhile he could have gone to Cornell. What’s more, Cornell WOULD HAVE BEEN CHEAPER!!! (We live out of state, so UCs were OOS tuition).
Both he and I are so distressed right now. Advice?
Are his grades good?
@coolweather I don’t know, he won’t show me.
If this just happened during his freshman year I suggest he reapply to Cornell as a transfer student
Maybe you should ask to see his grades, since it sounds like you might be paying the bills. If they are good, perhaps he can get into Cornell as a transfer.
@menloparkmom He’s in his junior year.
Too late to transfer. If he is doing good in academics then there is nothing to worry (unless he has depression).
This is sad, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s a valuable lesson for him and others reading your post on the things that should, and should not, be considered when making a decision about where to go to school. If he has done well at UCSC, he can apply to Cornell or anywhere else for grad school.
Well he doesn’t have too much longer at Santa Cruz. Sometimes life throws you curves . He just has to learn to deal with them .
I know both places and I think Santa Cruz is cooler. The boyfriend school could have been much worse after all.
Why too late?
My guess is that the breakup is the hardest part for your son, and the “school” (and cost) is harder for you. Remind your son daily of the temperature in Ithaca. Santa Cruz is hardly a bad place to go to college.
My advice on cc [for others] is to NOT to pay OOS tuition for UC, except in rare academic circumstances.
^ Typically students must spend four semesters at the school they graduate from, so transferring for senior year doesn’t really make sense.
In truth, one can receive a valuable education from any of the top 200 universities in the U.S.
That cost however, now represents the cost of his youthful foolishness. I trust the feelings are raw now, but shall dim with time, alongside his regret.
Sorry for your S. It is a cautionary tale of why people should not base college decisions on where GF or BF is going.
If your S is in the middle of his junior year, he is pretty much stuck. Four year colleges typically want students to attend for a minimum of 2 years to graduate. Perhaps he can look into doing a study abroad semester first semester senior year just to get away (probably too late to arrange to do it for Spring 2016),
I disagree. It represents the 'rents putting more importance on the SO…
If you are willing to pay, I would guess he could transfer to Cornell but would have to put in an additional 2 years. It may be that his grades are not that strong if he isn’t willing to tell you. Maybe you could explain to him that you and he are on the same team. You want to help. You need to know his grades regardless of whether they are good or bad in order to help with decision making. You could tell him in advance that you will be understanding and not upset if his grades are lousy. They are his and not your grades, after all. But to help you need to know them.
Wait, he’s a junior and you don’t know how his grades have been for the last two years?
If you want me to pay for next semester’s tuition, you have to show me your grades. That is my rule.
I would ask him what he would like to do: