<p>Congrats on Berkeley. I love that area. When I was in college, the authors of all my favorite text-books seemed to have gotten their PhDs from Berkeley so I thought that school was the ideal back when I fantasized about becoming the next Margaret Mead.</p>
<p>S2’s date reportedly has a “champagne” colored dress. I asked him what colored flowers he would pick and he said the florist makes that decision. Let’s hope they don’t ask him any details about the type/age/vintage of champagne! Our close-by florist closed two years ago so last year he picked one out of the phone book and then couldn’t find them when he went to pick the flowers up (at the last minute of course). Apparently, there were multiple florists of the same name all over town. He assures me that this year he has it covered.</p>
<p>H and I both experienced extreme poverty growing up. Like people who lived through the Great Depression, that kind of thing leaves a lasting imprint. When people have phobias, they say the best cure is increased exposure to whatever causes the fear. Perhaps, this is going to be one of those personal growth experiences we all look back on and say, well, it was hard at the time but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us. It is a test and I have always done well on tests, so surely that counts for something.</p>
<p>TheAnalyst: My H lost $300K with very foolish business choices. The money included all college savings and some of the equity in our house. Then he did not earn anything for a year to further complicate things. It was my D’s senior year.</p>
<p>At first I thought I would just expire with anger (he kept all this from me.)</p>
<p>But it has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I have personal resources I never thought I would have, including the ability to save H’s business myself and then forgive him.</p>
<p>Somehow the kids are getting through college, though I have been working two and sometimes three jobs. (Not as bad as it sounds. I am a college professor and it means adding classes at additional schools.)</p>
<p>I have become more secure and less materialistic from the growth I have experienced.</p>
<p>But I am very sympathetic because it is not fun. Or rather, one has to really enjoy mountain climbing, forging forward on those difficult emotional slopes.</p>
<p>TheAnalyst, have you ever been able to pinpoint why you and your H made wise financial and educational decisions, while others who experience extreme poverty in their youth perpetuate the poverty into the next generation? Why do some people get out of poverty and others stay? Have your siblings been as successful (however you want to guage success) as you and your H have?</p>
<p>mythmom, how inspiring. Wonderful that you took such a hard situation and turned it to good… and the strength you discovered in yourself will always serve you well. Hats off to you.</p>
<p>NorthMN, don’t know whether you’ve searched “prom dress” on amazon.com, but there are quite a few dresses listed that fit the criteria you described… without cutouts, and well under $200. I almost bought geek_son’s tux through Amazon, but chickened out because there was so little time for returns.</p>
<p>One of the benefits of having a boy… I took him to Mens Wearhouse, where we told someone his jacket size. She pulled out two tuxes. He nixed one (“too trendy”), tried the other one on, and said, “This.” We were done in 15 minutes. Once we found out frosh_date’s dress color, I showed him a matching vest and tie online; he said, “That’ll work.” Badabing, badaboom, all set. :D</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone for the responses about the flowers-and-limo thing (and hm, thanks for the nice words :)). I was thinking about this between waking up and hearing the alarm go off this morning, and I think they’re just really excited because this will be frosh_date’s first “real” date. Mom probably just wants this to be a beautiful dream for her little girl, and leave nothing to chance in the process.</p>
<p>But the plot thickens anyway. There’s been some conflict among the seniors that’s escalated to the point where there may be an “alternative prom.” That would be geek<em>son’s choice of venue, but not sure how frosh</em>date would feel about that!</p>
<p>I’m trying to remember whether things were so dramatic when I was in high school. If so… sorry, mom. :o</p>
Beautiful. Will continue to wish you the very best, TheAnalyst, but statements like this make me think you’re going to make things work for you no matter what. Know that this quasi-random stranger on the Internet believes in you. :D</p>
<p>…and I really thought I might be the last parent standing on May 1 with an undecided DD. But the rain has ended, the clouds have parted, the sun is shining and a check is in the mail to Davidson. As an added bonus her twin brother is enrolling about 2 1/2 hours down I-85 in Clemson, so we can combine the move in/move out exercises in one trip…what a ride this has been…best wishes to all who have made it this far and to those who will follow us next year…</p>
<p>W:oW… I am sooooo glad I didn’t get involved in the prom thing. Thanks to you CC parents for giving me a safer place to process it and keep from butting in!</p>
<p>geek<em>son got to spend more time talking with frosh</em>date<em>mom today and found out that…
They have bought only his flowers, not hers.
The limo thing was part of frosh</em>date’s fantasy… when she told her mom about it, mom said, “You can certainly talk to him about it, but it’s his prom, so it’s his decision.” It just didn’t come out quite that way when frosh_date brought it up to him. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>So it sounds like the whole thing was just miscommunication and all is resolved now. He finalized his plans with her (and got mom’s approval on all, a clear necessity given her age) and both are happy as can be. Phew! And no more talk of alternative prom, although there might be a small (but civil) protest toward the end.</p>
<p>This was another good reminder to me, I’ve already been through my teen dramas… I don’t have to live his. ;)</p>
<p>hobie – Congratulations, Congratulations!</p>
<p>woody – I think the parents buying flowers for the solo gals (and/or guys) is a lovely idea, and totally agree with whoever said it would make a nice photo op. :)</p>
<p>well - we pulled the plug - did the online enrollment to S’s top choice and paid our enrollment deposit - may still defer - and will have to if S does not get his graduation requirements taken care of - but it feels good to have a (sort of) plan. </p>
<h1>theorymom, congrats on the decision! That is great news.</h1>
<p>Missypie, some of the answer to your question has to do with work ethic. H’s mom never had a job (never graduated from high school or learned to drive), but expected H to always work hard from the time he was old enough to ride a bicycle and become a paperboy. He also sandblasted the inside of rail cars at the local chemical plant, worked in a hardware store, and manned the desk at a motel at night. </p>
<p>I also had a bunch of jobs, but mostly as a maid–hence my cleaning fetish. When I was 14, my mother and I got kicked out of a live-in position with no notice. A YMCA conference center luckily took us in and we ended up living in a nice two rooms (but no kitchen or anything) until I graduated from high school. However, I worked every minute I wasn’t in school and sometimes skipped school to work: maid/waitress/life guard/reservation clerk. Our room and board was dependent on my working (we ate in the Y kitchen after serving). I joined the military at 17 and have been self-supporting ever since, although I think I was really paying my own way a lot earlier. (My siblings and I were split up when I was young after my parents’ divorce so we were raised by different families.)</p>
<p>We are good savers and not picky about what we do, so something will work out on the job front.</p>
<p>TheAnalyst, you are an inspiration. To have overcome such a challenging start is amazing, and it’s no surprise your kids are so resilient. Between your story and your husband’s, losing a job is just one more obstacle, not a major life crisis. </p>
<p>Congrats, Hobie1 - how fabulous that both of your kids are ending up close to each other and at wonderful schools.</p>
<h1>TM - Woo hoo! What a relief!!! I just know your S will do what he needs to do and will be at his dream school.</h1>
<p>…AND WE SENT A CHECK!!! My son will be a Marquette Golden Eagle, and husband and I could not be more thrilled. He’ll be in the same city as his step-sisters and their families, and 4 hours away from our second home, AND at a very good, welcoming school that’s the right size for him. I’m so proud that he overcame his resistance to making a decision that was contrary to his midwest bias and in not being so prideful that he cut off his nose to spite our face.</p>
<p>YAHOO for cpeltz and son - it is what it should be - how cool is that?</p>
<p>I am not as certain as you however that my kid can pull off getting his required work done. I just found out about another paper that is due. sigh…
We were crazy letting him take such a full year with 2 APs and 3 other work intensive courses - it is just too much with all the extracurricular commitments INCLUDING all the time taken off for college visits. grrrr</p>