<p>NM hope things improve for your daughter. I need to learn from you as my D and yours sound so much alike. D will be leaving at the end of the month for school and will be there early for Cross Country practice. Still not sure if she will even be able to practice as she’s still injured. She’ll see the specialist right before she goes to see if the therapy has helped. D also doesn’t drink and is VERY slow to warm to anyone. Took her 3 years of little league with the same coach before she spoke to him. She once spent a week at camp and because her roommate didn’t show up she didn’t talk with anyone for the entire week. </p>
<p>I’m hoping to learn since you are going through this first. My S is so much different and is so outgoing that it’s like night and day between the two.</p>
<p>Tried the salad for lunch today. It was delicious. We’ll be having it again. Thanks for sharing the recipe.</p>
<p>rochestermom and NM–do we all have the same D? Last week when we ordered some of D’s books online I ordered a copy of a book called “The Everything College Survival Book: From Social Life to Study Skills” for DD. (yes, I’m one of those mom’s that turns to books when I don’t know. Always have, probably always will) D hasn’t had much time to look through it, but she did say she wished she had had the list of “getting to know your roommate” questions at orientation. It would have helped with her comfort level. I think she likes it so far.</p>
<p>As bogus as it sounds, my older D was telling us a few weeks ago about how she learned to “fake drink” just to fit in before she actual ever started drinking. My son has basically used the excuse, “I am driving” for the past two years of HS because even though the repercussions for drinking while an athlete are huge, kids go to extremes to keep it private etc. Now, I am not naive and know that he has drank on occasion, but I also know he is very much a kid who likes to have control of his faculties and really hates when kids are completely out of control or don’t have a clue.</p>
<p>For right or wrong, our culture places a huge premium on the party scene. And, for right or wrong, our culture looks at drinking as the way to have fun. It’s certainly not true, but I think being around others who are drinking, even when you don’t or aren’t, is something everyone has to muddle through. As my older D said to our youngest a few weeks ago, “all you really need to do is channel your inner 12 year old because that’s how people end up acting.” They think drinking makes them older when in reality they all regress and act like idiots. </p>
<p>Truth is, some kids go absolutely hog wild when they get to college without adult supervision, and I think girls end up doing this a little bit more than the guys in terms of taking it too far. But the conversation we have had since my kids were in middle school is there are lots of ways to have fun and drinking until your drunk and wasted is not one of them. Now… it kind of helps that there are a lot of recovering alcoholics in the family on both sides and genetics are always a good conversation, but I think there is a big difference between having a few beers and slugging down a pint of vodka hoping the buzz will last all night before you ever leave your dorm room. In fact, I never liked the taste of beer and so never really drank a lot in college as that was all there was back then. I think the “pre-gaming” thing of today is actually far more dangerous than the kegger on a friday night. </p>
<p>The thing I’ve always wanted to impress upon my kids is that you dont HAVE to drink and you don’t have to judge those who are and you should be able to hang out with these people and not participate (unless they’re all a bunch of lushes and then trouble will be theirs before long regardless). What they’ve found is that for the most part there are always going to be people who are not drinking or who are drinking moderately or less that are fun to hang out with and you should always have an exit strategy.</p>
<p>NM, I also hope things improve for your daughter. My D is much like that, too - slow to warm. And she definitely was NOT a party girl when she left for preseason, which was a lot more party-oriented than she’d expected. It’s a tough adjustment and I join everybody here in wishing your D strength.</p>
<p>I like your post too, Modadunn. Especially with S1, we’ve talked a lot about the not needing to judge part, and the fact that you can hang out with people who are drinking though you’re not drinking yourself. That aspect is going to be tough for him; he’s a little too quick to judge in a lot of situations.</p>
<p>We just got back from moving D out of her summer housing; we’ll have her home with us for two weeks. The drive home was horrendous, traffic-wise, but very sweet in that I had all three kids in the same car. D slept a lot of the way but when she was awake she got the boys to play a couple of goofy games and even sing with her. </p>
<p>rrah: The book sounds great. I don’t believe my D would read it however. Not her thing. I’m sure she’ll be fine. Can’t wait to find out her roommate info and housing info later this week. Even though she’ll be starting early because she is on a team they still put them in the room that she will be in in the long run. Makes life easier.</p>
<p>So many kids spend their entire childhood and youth playing sports, having private lessons, etc. in pursuit of the goal (or their parents’ goal) of being a recruited athlete/going to school on an athletic scholarship. You smart parents of athletes should start a blog, or publish a book or something, on the realities of being recruited, making the decisions, showing up with a bulid in group of - friends? - or are they competors?, allocating time to both the sport and to getting the degree, etc.</p>
<p>Okay, who has checked out textbooks? S’s have been posted, and if I were to order them from the school - checking used books when possible - it would be over $1,100 for a semester!! That totally amazes me. I can get the major ones cheaper on half.com, but it’s still almost $800. How in the world do kids who don’t have the resources do this? Any other sites you’ve found? </p>
<p>Seriously, I’m shocked that a freshman’s books might be over $2,000 for a year. I guess I was naive budgeting $500 a semester.</p>
<p>These clothes I’m wearing better last a few years!</p>
<p>I typically figure 1,000/semester per kid. This year with two in it’s going to be a BIG order. I usually do well at amazon and barnes and noble but I really think it depends on the type of books that are needed.</p>
<p>My H already has a facial tic from having paid the first semester tuition. I can’t wait to tell him that his estimate of 500-700 in books is really going to come in closer to a grand a semester. We’ll see how the used book thing goes as son will try to be frugal (he’s good that way). But at this point we know nothing. Dorm? Nope. roommate? Nope. Classes? Nope. And the bookstore hasn’t even listed what books would be for what classes so you can’t even estimate!</p>
<p>I hadn’t given books a lot of thought yet (mostly because S1 can’t register for classes until he’s already midway through orientation), but you all are scaring me. D is very frugal and has never gone over budget, but S1 is not always so careful. Maybe I’ll ask her to give him some pointers - they’re always better accepted when they come from her, understandably.</p>
<p>Modadun - My daughter also says you just go back to your childhood and it’s just like drinking! As an actor it’s not too difficult for her. </p>
<p>One very important thing to remind all your kids about, and this can’t be mentioned enough, is that they should NEVER drink from an open container, glass, etc. of anything (water, juice, soda, alcohol) if they have not watched it continually since they got it. Just turning their head to see who bumped them or called them is enough time for someone to drop something into their drink. Buying/getting a new drink is a safer, smarter route. It’s the one thing I am very paranoid about.</p>
<p>cpeltz–also try textbooks.com (free shipping for orders over $25.00) By the time we added in shipping costs from half.com it was less expensive to go with textbooks.com. Another option I’ve learned about on CC is renting through cheggs.com We checked out the prices for renting. For a general ed class, eg. chemistry for a non science major, when she would never need to refer to the book again, it looked like a good option for D. We did find a used copy of one of her textbooks at amazon for the same price as renting though. </p>
<p>Lots of parental excitement/waiting this morning. DD found out her roommate, but she’s still asleep. I suspect she was up until about 3:00 am facebooking with the new roommate based upon her current facebook status.</p>
<p>Tears here – D came home last evening after having spent the entire afternoon/evening (noon to 10) with her core group of friends (lunch, swimming, video games, etc.). Kids are off on vacation and to college – it’s feeling a bit more real now.</p>
<p>And she got her dorm and roommate – don’t know if she got in touch, as roomie doesn’t seem to be on Facebook?? Can that be?</p>
<p>Last night I sort of freaked Son out when I started opening the packaging of the various dorm supplies, consolidating them into plastic bins, cutting tags off of towels, etc. Son asked why I was packing already. He said he is “apprehenxious” (a cross between apprehensive and anxious).</p>
<p>Wow - things are moving, aren’t they. rrah, looking forward to hearing anything interesting your D shares. </p>
<p>Zetesis, I have heard tales of h.s. kids who still aren’t on Facebook. They’re rare, but they exist. Fingers crossed that your D can find hers, and that it’s a good match. (Fingers crossed for everybody’s kids on that front!)</p>
<p>missypie, that is hands down my new favorite word. Thank you. S1 is very apprehenxious too.</p>
<p>cpeltz, there has to be cheaper textbooks out there. I know with S, a dual bio and history major, I never spent $1000/semester on his books. With half.com check out all the conditions, not just the very goods and new because a lot of times people will list books that are in great condition in other categories. Also, barnes and noble sells used books as well as new. Also, look on ebay itself sometimes folks have the same book listed there and not necessarily as an auction although that too might work out. </p>
<p>Also, try fetchbook.info. You put in the ISBN and it does all the leg work for you and finds the lowest price on the book. You then go to the individual site to see the detail behind it.</p>
<p>It’s funny you should mention the non-facebook roommate. My S’s girlfriend got her roommate on Friday and mentioned when we were out to dinner that she was concerned because she didn’t have a facebook. She seems to think it speaks to an antisocial nature OR hyper controlling/paranoid parents. I will reserve judgement, but she also said she gave no contact information on her form. Apparently students could choose means of getting in touch: facebook, AIM screenname, cell phone, home phone, address. She only choose mailing address. </p>
<p>Still no roommate/room info. They said end of july.beginning of august. Well, July is long past now! :-)</p>
<p>Books: I can’t see how S can utilize any other purchasing method besides the school bookstore because they barely register for classes before they actually begin and when you consider shipping etc, you don’t want to begin already behind.</p>
<p>Amazon is VERY fast when it comes to shipping as long as the book is in stock. Some sellers at half.com will upgrade shipping for a charge and you can see where in the US the seller is which can make a huge difference. Remember too that kids can borrow books from others if need be and, as a last resort, you can buy the book from the school bookstore and return it (usually there’s a time frame available for returns). Also, some classes won’t meet until late in the first week or not until the second week depending on when classes start so there might be a bit more time than you think. </p>
<p>Suggestions but I understand the issues. Been there and done almost everything there is when it comes to book purchasing.</p>
<p>With regard to facebook, D’s roommate still hasn’t made her a friend on facebook even though she has sent her emails. A bit strange.</p>