<p>Moda–tears. Just so meaningful that she had an impact on your life. And her voice as you know it will for years to come.</p>
<p>I saw a psychologist as part of my training in the very early 70’s. I still wonder about her words and how her own life turned out. Very nice to read your words as I hope in turn that I have made a difference.</p>
<p>OH–I did not understand the “recovery” thing question!
It would be similar to attrition or making amends.
But instead of focusing just on the person that you have wronged (words or actions) it includes you, the wrong doer, as making amends in a way that is clean and is so sincere that there is no residue. i.e. you GF our spouse is nurtured and believes you and then it is not just another thing to bring up in 10 years.
Hard to explain in a few sentences but too often we think “I am sorry” is enough and the other person should be over it. But a grand gesture–flowers, a facebook message, a trip–whatever the OTHER person NEEDS to feel loved and forgiveness than just your “I said am sorry, so what more do you want attitude”.</p>
<p>The extraneous hair stories are just too funny to me. </p>
<p>Good friend was in her house recently when her husband started screaming. Seems that the razor got away from him that morning and he shaved of part of his mustache. They have been together for 25+ years and she had only seen him once when they just started dating withoug the mustache. Well he tried to trim it up however he looked a bit like Hitler when he was done and since they were going to dinner with very good friends of theirs who are Jewish he felt that that wasn’t a great look. 
He is now mustache less and I must say it really does make him look different. My friend said when he screamed she thought one of her animals had died or someone had broken into the house. Guess he was a “tad” upset… :)</p>
<p>Moda, sorry to hear about your therapist.</p>
<p>Regarding watches, they may be making a comeback. S1’s GF recently bought him a watch. He loves it and wears it all the time, so that is what he bought his brother for graduation. We are giving S2 a bicycle. The three-year old Subaru he is driving will get put in his name and the trip to Ireland was S2s request, so I consider that a graduation gift as well. </p>
<p>Now that he doesnt have a job, the timing for that trip couldnt be worse. It keeps him from being able to consider internships or summer school classes. It even messes up the timing of summer sublets, if that is a direction he takes so he can do a manual labor job in the field. Other than applying to jobs posted on the Internet, which seems to be totally ineffective, S2 says he is too busy to do anything more on the job hunt until after he graduates. He seems to have time to watch plenty of basketball, so his priorities are not the same as the ones I would set but not much I can do about that. </p>
<p>As for the thread, I would be happy to continue it. I think the transition to the world of work or unemployment, grad school, relationships, and other issues for this group will be interesting. However, I would like to see a new thread with a new title so I’m not the person who started it. Being the thread starter makes me uncomfortable.</p>
<p>Talked with D2 last night about her mock interview that is scheduled for today. Apparently she ran in to another young woman who had completed hers and the girl said it was an awful experience. D2 found out you interview with one person and are videotaped and then two other people review the tape and critique the session. The other young woman felt the panel was very mean and critical and she actually teared up. Now D2 is really nervous. I told her she has been through worse playing for awful soccer coaches. That made her laugh. I also told her to just be herself…shake hands, make eye contact, don’t play with her hair ( she is wearing it in a ponytail even though I suggested a loose, low bun, clear nails, etc. I think they will say something to her about the color of her suit but she would be ok with that. Anyway she was wondering how you prepare for a fake interview since you know nothing about the position/company. I told her to just ask leading questions. Should be interesting to hear what happens. She has made plans to meet a friend for Chinese afterwards. I told her I would have to meet for a glass of wine! ;)</p>
<p>Moda…so sorry to hear of the passing of your therapist.</p>
<p>TA…something good will happen for S2. He is a hard worker and has your support and knowledge behind him. </p>
<p>I will also still be here following this thread as some launch in to careers and others continue their studies!!! It takes a village… And I need to satisfy my wanderlust following TA’s S1!</p>
<p>NM, I think it is great that they are doing these mock interviews but it’s too bad they feel they have to be mean about it. In my first job, all of the analysts had to go through a several day public speaking course that included filming each person giving little mini-presentations each day and then giving them one on one feedback. Everybody was nervous but the consulting firm handling the training never reduced anybody to tears and in fact tried to build confidence, with lots of positive reinforcement on everything people did well. I assume the mock interview will focus on behavioral questions with perhaps some technical questions and brain teasers. I look forward to hearing what she thinks she learned.</p>
<p>TA…any word on the positions out of the country for S2? I stumbled across engineerjobs dot com the other day while looking for a friend and thought of you.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I have at least become immune to H’s disapproval of how I park the car. He is a person who will actually walk back to the car, restart it and repark if the car looks the least bit crooked. Me? If I’m within the lines, I’m cool. He somehow thinks I should be embarrassed if I’m parked crooked.</p>
<p>Moda, so sad to hear of your therapist’s death, but so nice that she had such a profound affect on you.</p>
<p>I was actually thinking of our thread this morning…how I would greatly benefit from a thread like the “Acceptances” threads, so I could remember whose kid is doing what. I know that we really couldn’t do that, because it could be hurtful (to people like ME who would have to add “PieSon still working on that Associate’s Degree”).</p>
<p>On the hair topic, at the risk of totally grossing you out early in the morning, I had a prof in law school who looked like he had cotton balls in his ears. Enough said. I got to where I hated to look at him.</p>
<p>Older D saw her adviser yesterday. She wants to add a minor or more likely, a double major. Those AP credits may come in handy, to let her add another major (in the same college) without staying at school more than 4 years.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Vs what she actually learned… which might takes years of hindsight!</p>
<p>The best thing about my therapist was she was also my sister’s therapist and had been for many years before I showed up - broken - when my husband and I separated back in 2007 for 8 months. This alone saved me years of therapy because, even though it was my sister’s viewpoint, she already knew all about my mother (and a great deal about my family of origin in general). I continued to see her after H&I got back together, she had helped finding us a therapist (who we were seeing to help with kids and questioned if H&I were really “over” as it surely looked like we agreed far more than we didn’t) and even spoke to her at length last summer when she called to “check in.” </p>
<p>And I feel completely horrid that I will miss her funeral for a hair appointment! but it had been rescheduled from last week when my hairdresser was sick and since she was on maternity leave for the past 6 months, I am completely desperate heading into the summer with the hope to hit the road over the weekend or Monday by the latest. </p>
<p>Trying to get to the nook and unload and then head back the four hours to D’s for her graduation and bridal shower weekend. Speaking of which, I had really better get packing! It’s just kind of hard to think “summer” when there’s still snow on the ground. Fortunately, the sun seems to be shining brightly today. This weather has wrecked havoc on spring sports… We’re half way through the season and they’ve been able to have exactly one game and less than a handful of practices. There’s a lot of hope pinned to month of May!</p>
<p>Moda…how wonderful you get to leave for the Nook already! I am at that crazy brain fried stage with the cabin construction. Wish I could pack up and head to the lake and have everything complete. Speaking of snow on the ground…we were scheduled to have our irrigation system turned on today. Not going to happen with the snow still piled up in the yard.</p>
<p>NM, his next step to go abroad is to get fingerprinted so he can run the police checks to get a visa. He has claimed to be too busy to set that up yet. Once he does get around to applying, it will take about four months to complete all of the paperwork. I wouldnt have him apply for anything overseas until that is done. S1 is an engineer and has tons of contacts so I think his brother would be able to help him find something once he gets over there. What I see S2 doing is Floorhand / Roustabout work on the rigs this summer while he applies for the work visa. S2 is a big guy (played the offensive line as a four-year starter in high school) so I think if he interviews in person he will get hired for that type of job, would enjoy it, and be good at it.</p>
<p>S1 says he is pretty bruised and beat up physically from his last soccer game. He also played the whole game, so his stamina was stretched to its limit, but he loved it. A lot of his teammates work in construction so get exercise all day and are really powerful. S1 has a slim build in line with his skills as a runner, swimmer, and Brazilian finesse style soccer player. S2, who would fit in with the men running a jackhammer for a living, would doubtless click with S1s teammates, which is good for job contacts as well.</p>
<p>S2 is smart (I think), but doesnt like academic work and has no interest in doing his best in the classroom. He mentioned in passing that he thinks he could have graduated with about a 3.7 GPA if he had wanted, then quickly tried to back-peddle as he realized that wasnt a great thing to admit. He will most likely find his niche starting out with manual labor and moving up to managing a crew. He probably didnt need to go to college to do that, but Im glad to have that box checked off the list just the same.</p>
<p>sheesh…so D2 just texted a few minutes ago that she forgot her wallet and can’t pay for parking while she is at her interview (which is scheduled for 1.5 hrs). Thinks she will probably get a parking ticket as she is parking on the street. Sometimes I wonder about her common sense! I didn’t respond but I am hoping she learns a valuable life lesson.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>But didn’t you do that, too? I remember getting a ticket for an illegal left turn trying to get to a downtown office building, I remember driving way out of my way on one way streeets looking for a way to go back the other way, and walking and walking and walking to get to the buiding where the interview was because I had parked in the first lot I saw. My sole goal was to not burst into tears, lest I show up to my interview an absolute mess.</p>
<p>Coming back from a meeting in the general vicinity of SMU, I think I was the last person to be able to go south on the tollway from my entrance. H is headed to church and passed a crowd, I guess waiting to wave at the president as he travels to a private event. Air Force One is supposed to land in about 10 minutes…I can see Love Field from my office but don’t have binoculars or anything.</p>
<p>Good grief! How would you like to be Dallas - of all places - hosting the current and all living ex-presidents and their spouses?</p>
<p>No ticket! Yay! :)</p>
<p>She said the interview went very well. The critique with the Dragon Lady wasn’t awful either. D2 was still being interviewed when the critque woman walked in behind her. The interviewer was talking so D2 waited until the woman came in to view and then extended her hand to shake her hand. The woman snapped at her that she needed to push back her chair immediately and stand up to shake her hand. D2 thought that would have been rude to her interviewer. The other criticism was when D2 was talking with interviewer about the link between athletic competition and the drive in to succeed in academics and
work. The critique person said she could hear enthusiasm in her voice but didn’t hear as much when she spoke about the position she was “interviewing” for. When the interviewer told D2 she was also an athlete who competed for grades the critic lady said D2 should have asked the interviewer what her grades had been!!! What??? I thought that was silly. At another point the interviewer told D2 her son was training for a triathalon and the critique lady said D2 should have said “if the son was looking for a training partner I would be the perfect person for the position” ! Really??? I thought that was almost like a pick up line! Ha! That was it. Thought her attire and knowledge was great. She has to interview one more time before the program starts in July. D2 is glad it is over.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Give me a break!</p>
<p>I’m pretty sure I can see Air Force One.</p>
<p>If your D were interviewing for a reality show w/Donald Trump, it’d be one thing, but for a job interview?!?! The critique lady is nuts!</p>
<p>What the… so, according to this critique lady, you’re supposed to bribe your interviewer? And if she said she liked gardening, should she have offered to come over and help her weed? Thats ridiculous. </p>
<p>This is my view on the standing and greeting thing. The meeting was between interviewer and D. Rise to meet interviewer, shake hand etc. That the critique woman silently comes into room and didnt interrupt then no…because your D is right, that would have been rude to interview. The other thing is, you’d basically have no idea why critique chick is there UNLESS and of course the interviewer stops to introduce. (and then of course, you’d jump to your feet before she even got out the other person’s title). </p>
<p>Im confused… is this something her future employer does or through the school itself for kids not employed yet? I thought D2 had a job all lined up, so I guess I am confused while she has to take advice from critique chick.</p>
<p>Found shoes for the dress today! Woot! Your basic nude pumps, but super comfortable and HOPEFULLY the perfect shade. I also saw an adorable clutch that I so so coveted, but garnered my strength and said, nope! Pretty happy with myself. :)</p>
<p>Moda…
Congrats on finding the shoes! I had a beautiful clutch for the wedding and I have to say it was a pain to keep track of! If you can go without one, do it!</p>
<p>The interview was set up as a learning tool through her graduate program which begins in July. Part of the program’s curriculum is to groom these kids for the “real” corporate world. Within the program they are placed in guaranteed paid internships during the tax season. H and I call these placements “the draft” as the companies look over the kids, the kids look over the companies and then they each list their top picks. I have a feeling they want these kids to be spot on for any interviews that come their way. H said there is a big difference in the academic world and the business world. He thought D2’s instincts were good. ;)</p>