Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>Good morning. NM, hope the arm is healing up nicely, did your doc friend look after it, or did they send you in?</p>

<p>Missy, do you think there’s any chance your mom would consider moving to a community setting – you know, not a nursing home per se, but a community designed for independent living? Something to think about after she gives herself some room to grieve. My mom was pretty lonely at first, but then she started Internet dating, which progressed to going out dancing, which then progressed to the relationship she’s now in. She just isn’t happy not being in a relationship. Her case was a bit different in that my father’s death was slow and expected and she’d had 13 years to acclimatize to the notion, whereas for your mother, it was sudden.</p>

<p>I too am sore from work around the house – guess my working out is a different set of muscles’ plus I was moving/carrying etc. all day long. I feel reasonably on top of things for the party and I managed to fit in some extras that I’ve been wanting to do, so today all I have left is power washing, pick up firewood, and a regular grocery shop. I managed to get my bay window painted plus the outdoor rattan set repainted, cleared out and organized much of the studio and installed a small wine cooler, and moved a cabinet counter that perilously close to mch’s collector car (1970 jaguar xke aka “miss kitty”) out and to the poolhouse without calamity. Mch had to work all day, and he was pretty bemused to come home and find the counter relocated but the kitty unmoved. Magic, I said. My body was at all times between miss kitty and the counter, I assured him. At any rate, to my mind, it was totally worth the acrobatics because now there’s a nice counter area in the ph beside the fridge so the college kiddos can make their hangover breakfasts without coming into the house ;)</p>

<p>(And in case you were wondering why I didn’t just MOVE miss kitty, its because a certain someone does not leave the keys to miss kitty anywhere in my proximity, because a certain someone may be more protective of his car than his wife…because miss kitty is innocent ;))</p>

<p>On the downside, the idiot fountain that I cleaned, unclogged, etc. 3 times seems to have a leak that’s causing it to run dry. I hate epoxy, but I love fountains, so I may end up mucking about with that today! I also am hopeful that my slightly premature planting of four containers doesn’t succumb to the cool night temps expected Thurs., but I just can’t throw a party without flowers for some reason :)</p>

<p>What I really would like to do is paint the front and ph doors today, but I may run outta day, so I’ll leave that til last.</p>

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<p>kmc,if you manage to actually paint doors after all you did yesterday, I’ll just have to give up in a fit of utter inferiority and recline by the pool instead of finishing the yard work.</p>

<p>Thank you for your concern about my mother. I can’t see her ever dating again. Dad really was about as perfect as a human comes. My sister and I have reflected that he ruined us for marriage, because our relationships have been with real human males, who don’t silently tolerate all that Dad did.</p>

<p>Mom feels house bound because poor vision makes her afraid to drive (as it probably should.) She hasn’t been out shopping since Dad died, and hates asking neighbors for rides to doctors’ appointments. But, you say, am I not recalling that your sister lives 45 mintues away? Yes, you recall correctly. She works in the same town two days a week. She drops by the house after work, has lunch and then leaves, with the excuse that she has to walk her dog. Couldn’t she be the one who takes Mom to doctors appointments? Couldn’t she plan a day out shopping or a trip to the arboretum? Couldn’t she take her out to buy annuals and help her plant them? Mom doesn’t ask and my sister doesn’t volunteer. I guess both are seeing each other as much as they want.</p>

<p>Visiting the 3rd weekend in May. Younger D couldn’t come with me Mother’s Day weekend so we are going the next weekend.</p>

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<p>Missy –
Even if she never dated, could a senior living complex give her more options to connect with people? Around here we have some really nice independent living complexes that also have transportation provided anywhere in town, scheduled trips to the grocery store, and lots of social activities that don’t involve dating – you do what you like. Some long-time friends just moved into a two-bedroom unit, and it is lovely. It was not one of the ones where you put up a huge chunk of money – they put up a couple of thousand $, pay rent that includes 10 meals a week, maid service weekly, and additional services that they can contract for if they want. Just a thought for when she hits the point of being willing to move from the house. (The lack of mobility would drive me nuts rather quickly.)</p>

<p>kmcmom - Wow. I cannot believe how much you get done. Holy moly. Would you like to visit? Borrow my house for a year or so?</p>

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<p>KMC - I read what you got done and am taking a nap for you. You deserve it.</p>

<p>My Dad had a 74 XKE Jaguar and I witnessed his leaving the golf course to drive it home and then go back and finish his game! It was fire engine red. When he died, my brother offered to buy it from his wife who sold it to the higher bidder (not my brother, who was all of 23 at the time). Point being, I get the whole car thing a lot better than most. My H is driving the kid beater and has been since giving his car to S last spring. He really needs to buy a new car but he honestly just doesn’t care.</p>

<p>I am procrastinating as if it were an olympic sport. I guess D managed to actually mail the invitations and while they haven’t made it to MN yet, they did arrive in Chicago, SF and Knoxville that I know of. Lots of nice things to say and I hope ours comes tomorrow so I can actually see it!!</p>

<p>Did I mention the 3.5 hour conference call on skype with the planner. We are heading into our budget busting numbers but I am hopeful she has all the i’s dotted with what’s in there because this well is going dry in a hurry.</p>

<p>H&I went on wine/Champagne run yesterday at big yearly sale. Let the guy pretty much steer us with hardly a taste of the stuff, but he seemed very confident and everyone kept saying he knew his stuff. Even with a corking fee we’ll save close to $600. But sshhhh… all I will say is that it’s a good thing that H and I are splitting the haul and didn’t know how smart we were being until loading the booty in the trunk.</p>

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<p>My mom lives in a relatively small town that has experienced quite a bit of economic decline since I went to HS there (not that it was anything great back then.) The options for senior/assisted living, senior programming and trips through church, senior programs through the city or public library…so little is offered.</p>

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<p>Went to another 2nd (or in this case 3rd wedding). ShawWife was really close friends with the wife and I was friends with the husband, who got remarried to a lovely woman. Both the original couple were on something of a spiritual quest, but the ex-wife always felt like things weren’t good enough – somehow she deserved more even though the guy did everything he possibly could (at least from the outside) – and he just gave up trying. The new wife seems terrific and interestingly their two kids, now 24 and 26 gave really touching toasts about how wonderful the dad was, how wonderful the new wife was and how wonderful it was to see their dad happier than they’d ever seen him. Much different, and less awkward, than the last such wedding. The husband is a fascinating guy.</p>

<p>MP, at the wedding, we saw an old fraquantaince – somewhere between friend and acquaintance – who just moved her mother up from Florida to a senior community in Boston. Florida doctors apparently had her on 27 separate medications. They are getting her off lots of stuff she shouldn’t be on – the SIL is an physician. But, the mother is very happy in the new community.</p>

<p>The fraquantaince may be able to help ShawSon with his business and her husband might be able to help ShawWife get a summer job at his hospital – we’ll see.</p>

<p>They do have a tall, handsome Jewish son, though he is not so ambitious as I think ShawD will like, but we’re going to arrange for a meeting without telling them it is a meeting.</p>

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<p>Hi all. Just thought I’d check in to let you know that I did NOT paint the doors :wink: in fact, after 3 straight hours of power washing, I somehow killed the power washer right in the middle of cleaning the concrete around the pool. Mch helpfully pointed out that it was just as well, since in his opinion the time to power wash is AFTER the party :wink: </p>

<p>Thanks for the honorary nap, Moda. I needed it :)</p>

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<p>H went solo backpacking over the weekend and I read. I finished the fourth book in the Game of Thrones series and am bored with that, so won’t bother with the next one. I read a Nora Ephron book, which was a quick read but good food for thought and then started an historical novel on Ireland in prep for that trip. I got a little bored and was trying to think what activities might interest me, looking at joining the Peace Corps and that sort of thing. H would jump at that idea but I’m not so sure. Back to work today.</p>

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<p>TA, I am impressed that you can stay awake long enough to read all those books!</p>

<p>I checked younger D’s ACT scores this morning. They’re good enough for lowered tuition at the school she wants to attend (at which she’s an auto-admit.) She agreed to take the ACT again to try to raise it by a point (that would give an additional small tuition break.) </p>

<p>If we are done with college visits and testing and applications by the time D’s senior year starts, I TRULY won’t be allowed to hang out in any of the HS Class of '14 threads…so we have to keep this thread going!</p>

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<p>Of course we will keep this thread going. I expect some help for GS’S college search in just 17 years. Wouldn’t that be funny!
Got the vegetable garden planted yesterday. I love growing food. Must have missed my calling.
My “family of origin” (as I now refer to them) is just friggin nuts. One sis has down a spread sheet re: a possible memorial that is all of 13 people. There have been arguments about the obit. I have received email’s where my two sister’s are apologizing to the other and so on. My brother calls and we both just start laughing. These two Sister’s are so much like my mother it is amazing.
When I was studying in Italy in the '70’s, after grad school, I wrote a single spaced 52 page autobiography on a typewriter as part of my training (psychotherapy). I reread parts of it last night. Basically I am the same person today that I was at age 7.
I have used this as a therapist–that 5-8 holds information about our yet world influenced self. I wonder if this has changed with all of the exposure and such through media.
The things I had written about my mother during my childhood and adolescents were spot on.</p>

<p>Spain is getting close!</p>

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<p>oregon, so glad you have your brother to laugh with. I was able to share my sister’s wacky ideas with H and it was helpful. (The crucial word there is “ideas.” I totally knew that I would be entirely responsible for facilitating any idea of hers to which I agreed.)</p>

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<p>Sis is planning to play “I am Woman”…sorry, just plain weird. I think she had a different mom than I did and the reveal is about to happen.</p>

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<p>Crazy day doing laundry, making construction calls, meeting with contractor who put our new gutters on here at home last fall that now have a slow drip/leak, and trying to start a book I have to have completed by tomorrow night for book club. D1 called and said they had a huge hail storm today and her new Jeep has damage. She is very sad. D2 called with exciting news. She has been awarded a new scholarship for grad school! Doesn’t know for what exactly as she already has one. The details will be given at a banquet on Thursday. As usual she is not thrilled that she has to attend the banquet. sigh…</p>

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<p>NM, great news for D2. How wonderful! I am sorry about D1’s car; hopefully her insurance will take care of it. You have been busy!</p>

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<p>Congratulations to D2, NM.</p>

<p>The only things my only sibling (sister) had a debate about when my mother died in 2011 was the obituary (sister thought we should add a picture, I did not want to and we did not do it). I did not want to encourage flowers and sister did not want to DISCOURAGE and state something in the obituary to that effect so we ended up with tons of llowers (and I would have much preferred money going to charity in lieu of flowers). But my sister was the primary caregiver at the end (although I was very involved also)so I deferred to her on that. But in general, we agreed on most things.</p>

<p>Having a nice visit in DC with S1 although tired from walking around. Spent time while he was at work today at the Hirschorn (sp?), Natural History,etc.</p>

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<p>Hi Everyone!
All is good in woodyworld. At least nothing major to report. I don’t know if you remember but during Hurricane Sandy, we lost a lot of beautiful living trees which semi-hid the relatively dead ones on our property. Now with spring in the air, it was quite obvious that many of the the dead/semidead ones needed to come down. Today, about 15 were cut down. Our once wooded ‘park-like’ setting is no more. I have no idea what we should do to re-landscape or if we even should. I’m thinking condo in a serious way!</p>

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<p>Woody, sorry your trees are gone. We lost a few screeners at the old house during a big storm the year before w began house-hunting in earnest, and I suspect the former inspired the latter ;)</p>

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<p>Hey, did some of you guys not meet up this weekend in DC?</p>

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<p>^Not I said the little red hen.</p>

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<p>Sorry about the trees, Woody. (Do we need to change your name to ClearCut?)</p>

<p>Oregon – really glad you’ve got your brother. When my mom died, one of my sisters insisted on decorating mom’s (open) casket with lots and lots of …fake flowers. One of my other sisters came up with mantra that got me through all of it…“Everyone grieves in their own way.” Ungrammatical, perhaps, but oh so true. It made the whole push-up bra issue easier to bear. (Hopefully St. Peter was beyond blushing.)</p>