<p>Just looked at the acceptance thread–wow, there were a lot of us!!
I have only met one of you and that was Historymom. Her twins did not apply to the school where we met after visiting.
I wonder how many of us are of the club “love the kid on the couch”. Mine is not on the couch but you get my gist. Maybe we need a new name–“They will get there in the end” club?
So many congrats to so many of your S’s and D’s–I feel like I a need a spread sheet to keep up! Wonderful all around and have fun at the graduations.</p>
<p>Though I’ve never met anyone except c-q’s lovely daughter, it’s been fun imagining what a nice (interesting?) group we’d be if we all got together at a big gathering.</p>
<p>peonies, I had totally forgotten about that, especially since my involvement was minimal! Yes, my D has put up with my “imaginary friends” more than a few times! </p>
<p>At D’s school, they picked up their robes at the beginning of the year, and the seniors traditionally wear them to Fall Convocation, among other occasions. At least she’s been getting some use out of it! They don’t wear the mortar boards until graduation, but many wear “beanies” in their class color. </p>
<p>Her graduation is May 31, but her bf’s graduation is a week later on June 7. Their schools have cross-registration but typically their schedules don’t quite mesh. When she took a class there her junior year, she had to move home out of her dorm for winter break, but was still finishing up a class project with another student. Thank goodness for technology! And while most years they’ve had the same spring break, of course this year, after they tentatively planned to visit bf’s family in Barbados over spring break, they discovered they did NOT have the same week off. Considering the schools have a dual degree program, I’m surprised their schedules are different.</p>
<p>Tonight D is attending her bf’s fraternity spring semi-formal, and tomorrow night is bf’s school senior ball. What else would a reading period be used for?</p>
<p>It’s exciting to hear about all your imminent grad ceremonies – ours now seems such a blurr! (Might have been the scotch, with which one who has recently lost 30 lbs, must be much more careful than one was…;))</p>
<p>Mcson is still here, hammering away on his deadline for our client, by necessity. So the reality of graduating hasn’t quite sunk in I think (since rushing against a deadline is his notion of what scholarship looks like.)</p>
<p>His gf’s BFF, who stayed with us until Tuesday, told me he’s really “freaking out” about the whole sustenance concept. I didn’t put too fine a point on it, but indeed he should be.</p>
<p>He and gf cooked up the plan to a) keep his expensive apt in AA through the summer and then b) have him commit to living there next year irrespective of job prospects. He could have just as easily lived in the poolhouse for free and worked for us while on job search, which would have been the more fiscally prudent plan. When he discussed this all with me months ago, I made clear that he was free to do what he wanted under his own fiscal power, but that he could not count on more than part-time work from me if working remotely and that I was not going to underwrite the plan financially. I’m not sure if his girlfriend and her friend understand this part.</p>
<p>To me, it’s an opportunity for the lesson of being responsible for your choices, and its a notion I see my own sibs struggle with to this day, and a notion i want to be sure he masters while young. But it’s kinda hard to know that he’s so stressed about it that its fodder for conversation among gf and her friend.</p>
<p>So I discussed it with him, and reiterated that I admired his desire to be independent in this, but that to remember he wasn’t working without a net in terms of a roof over his head etc. it was just that he made the riskier decision so he needed to own it. He said he figured if he didn’t take the leap now, then when? I was surprised and told him that normally, you secured employment, then took the leap (The same way you normally follow the work instead of picking the city…) It seemed as though this might not have actually occurred to him. Baby steps :)</p>
<p>At any rate, a little bit of adrenalin seems to be a good motivator for him, so I’m sure he’ll pull something together. He told me the girls don’t really fully understand the whole sustenance/entrepreneur work ethic thing because they’ve been raised in different environments, so not to worry if they seem bemused that I’m not paying his rent etc. </p>
<p>(Of course, indirectly we ARE still paying his rent in the sense that I’ve not hired someone to replace him, he still has steady part-time work, and both this month and next month he has a 50-plus hour freelance/special job on top. As I told his friend, he’d have to work 150 hours at a regular student job to make what he’s getting on the video.)</p>
<p>One great thing that was reinforced during his grad ceremony was Levar Burton’s comments to fine arts/music majors – in short, go make your art or you will instead be hired to make someone else’s art…which echoed back to the conversations mcson and I had at Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>McSon says he’s now pretty clear about what he’ll do to make rent but that his true goal will remain to be the maker of art. It will be interesting to see if the two intersect!</p>
<p>S graduates this weekend - 12th from Law School. He’s a 2013 but grad level. :)</p>
<p>D graduates on the 26th</p>
<p>So Mother’s Day I’ll be at graduation and Memorial Day weekend I’ll be at graduation. </p>
<p>D still no job but she will come home and continue to look.</p>
<p>D was done in December and we attended her Baccalaureate then (although she is technically a Jan '13 grad). We will see her walk in the big ceremony on May 22 in Yankee stadium. (H is threatening to wear a Red Sox cap).</p>
<p>Skimmed the old '09 thread. It was exactly 5 years ago that D2 gave a verbal commitment to her old school to attend and play soccer. WOW! So much has changed through the years! It was nice to remember some of the original posters.</p>
<p>Both of my Ds will be coming home for the weekend. I am really looking forward to seeing them. D2 is running a race this evening and will be home afterwards. D1 and her H will be driving in from OOS. We will head to the lake Sat. morning so they can check out the progress of the construction. I am betting that there will be some negotiation for who gets what bedroom! If the weather cooperates we hope to get some afternoon golf in. Need to grocery shop and clean before they get here. H is off for the day to help so that is a good thing! :)</p>
<p>kmc, I enjoyed listening to Costolos speech. I can imagine his parents reaction when their computer science Michigan grad decided to go to Chicago to do stand-up comedy and Improv instead of getting a regular job. Thank you for posting that. My takeaway from his speech was to deemphasize planning, be present in the moment, and take risks. Costolo followed those principals and is a success. I wonder how graduation speeches would differ if the people asked to reflect on life lessons at graduation were failures (however defined) rather than successes.</p>
<p>I also read the transcript of the 2005 Kenyon This is Water speech referenced on another thread. The entreaty in that talk is to view life from a less self-centered perspective. Wallace committed suicide a few years later and suffered from depression, so he clearly struggled with controlling his thoughts. Lots of good insights in both speeches.</p>
<p>FallGirl, my vote is for H to wear the Red Sox cap!</p>
<p>In case anyone wants to go a little further back on memory lane, this morning younger D is taking the AP English Language and Comp exam. (No more paying $8 to get scores early or waiting for the mail. This summer they will be available online. I wonder if anyone will discover some code to put in to try to get them early.)</p>
<p>missypie, that’s a part of memory lane I prefer not to visit! D was so nonchalant about studying for her AP exams and I was so stressed. I wish I could go back and tell the 2008/09 version of myself to lighten up!</p>
<p>FallGirl, graduation at Yankee Stadium - how exciting! something for us to look forward to with D2 in 2012. </p>
<p>I attended a local benefit last night and had my picture taken with America Fererra (star of Ugly Betty). I texted D2 to tell her and her casual response: yeah, and the kid who played her nephew on the show is in my anthro class. okay, kid, you win ;)</p>
<p>Prj when D was a freshman, she called to tell me that they were filming Ugly Betty outside of her dorm and that America Ferrara and Vanessa Williems were there!</p>
<p>So I just got an email from S’s HS. They have VA standards of learning (sol) test on the day of D’s graduation. So now I have to figure out if there is a make up possibility. I mean they make the kids at the country’s academically most selective HS ( highest average SAT’s also) take the state MINUMUM standards test. Annoys me that they even have to take this.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>There was finally an opinion piece in our local paper on this issue, after I’ve been ranting about it for years. Seems like if a school gets 98-100% on the readiness exams, the school should get a bye, at least for a certain number of years.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>But I sort of love when our kids think that those famous folks are no big deal. When the kids were younger and we were in NYC, we stood outside in the crowd for the Today Show. I thought it was good to see that the folks on TV and the crew were just ordinary people who got sweaty in the heat, drank water, etc. No bigger…they could be there too, if they want it bad enough.</p>
<p>S’s graduation is Memorial Day weekend… which is also the final game for the NCAA championships. But not going to even concern myself with the potential conflict mainly because I am unsure D’s team will actually get out of florida in the first two rounds. I am SO hoping they do because they will likely land in Syracuse next weekend and I could DEFINITELY be there with no problem. So… send a little good karma up into the air.</p>
<p>Yesterday I drove to see D to go to her dress fitting with a new seamstress since the previous one was a big bully. I also learned that she had told D that she didn’t need to take the dress in because she was adding straps to the strapless dress so they would hold up the dress. Lace would hold up an entire wedding dress? SO glad she didn’t do the work. This woman… Jane… was awesome (or at least appears to be). Explained that you take it in at the hip/lower waist to hold up the dress otherwise you get boob spillage (sorry Shaw) and/or back fat if you have any meat on your bones (which my D doesnt really have). This woman was all over the details so I loved her. <3 She’s even adding a clear snap or two where some lace overlays the zipper but kinda flips out slightly. She’s also doing some magic on the zipper that doesn’t lay perfectly flat. And D felt so comfortable that she showed her some pictures of how she wants the straps to be and left her to it. She’ll have her second fitting the Saturday we’ll be at S’s graduation but now I know I don’t have to be there.</p>
<p>Anyone later than Memorial Day? S’s speaker is the author of the book the entire class read for orientation week… the press release said:
</p>
<p>S had loved the book, as did many in his class and felt it apt that he wasn’t much older than they are now when he first wrote the book.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I like that idea a lot, for the schools who have them all read the same book.</p>
<p>Moda, when your younger D graduates, that will be after Memorial Day, right (since she’s on a quarter system)? My older D just finished mid-terms. Having her on a different schedule than her other HS friends makes it a bit easier to handle that she’s not coming home this summer…they are home, but she wouldn’t be home anyway.</p>
<p>So glad that you found a great alterations lady. I always say that on Say Yes to the Dress, Vera (the head of alterations) is an absolute Goddess.</p>
<p>My brother called very late tonight and asked that I critique his eulogy for our mother’s service tomorrow. I have decided not attend this 3 ring circus that my sister is directing.
There is an internment in the future that I may attend. Anyway, Drama Queen sis is planning on a toast of either champagne or Jim Beam (mom’s favorite when she was younger) at a noon reception. She also seems to be planning on video taping the service.
My B is dying here as his secretary accidently sent the service info out to 5 law firms (he is a lawyer) and a number are attending. This sis is so over the top–and add in SHE IS WOMAN…in the background.
I advised my B to laugh and claim that the family is quite the crazy family and to keep breathing.
Have any of you attended a service where alcohol was served and do funeral homes even allow this?
Of course, I have had one horrid and terrible and horrid haircut in my life and that is the picture that they blew up HUGE to display. That alone will keep me away. (it truly was just awful).</p>
<p>Oregon, most of the funerals in our family have been Catholic and it would be unusual not to follow with heavy drinking (most have been Irish catholic…so it’s hard to know if that’s cultural, family specific, or the norm!) But I must say the drinking is usually reserved for a restaurant or favorite club of the deceased or a home wake. Drinking at the funeral home is a new one to me!</p>
<p>Moda, I am so glad you found a good seamstress. And how lovely for your d to have you there. My second time round, I just kinda went off and bought my own dress, which in retrospect, was kind of weird. Everyone loved the dress (and I do shop better on my own) but I kinda robbed my mom of that treat, if you know what I mean.</p>
<p>So, in other news, I’ve tried a bit to avoid “over-mothering mcson” while he was home (operant self-conditioning ;)) Yesterday he got up and told me he thought he had pneumonia and he wanted to see the doc again. As it turns out, yes indeed the kid has pneumonia, and is now on a z-pack.</p>
<p>It sounds weird, but it was good that he took the lead on this without my provocation. But of course, it sucks that he has pneumonia’ so perhaps I should have provoked him more early on…</p>
<p>With all the talk about the job market, I’m interested in hearing about this years college graduates.</p>
<p>Do your graduates have jobs lined up? Are they going to graduate school? What was their major? Did they do internships? Do they feel like they were prepared them for the job search process?</p>
<p>KMC - that reminds me of the time my son hurt his hand playing football. I was all “you’re fine, shake it off.” Gave him some tylenol or whichever one reduces swelling. So the game is the next day… he comes out crying and I take him to the dr. Broken in two places and needed a pin. yeah… crap mom here.</p>
<p>So… oregon… you’re not even going? You’re the therapist so I guess you’ve talked your way through how you’ll feel later to have not attended? What do you think you will do during that time. And hate to tell you, but we’re very protestant and still drink at funerals. In fact, I have a turvis tumbler that I kind of revere because I took it from my Dads bar when I landed in florida when he died. Took it in the rental car with me and then discovered it when we went to return the car. I always use it when drinking gin and tonic and always, always, toast my dad when I do. Theme song at my Grandmother’s wedding as Mack the Knife… and when we tossed her ashes in the lake we had a vodka chaser go in after her. It seemed fitting, what can i say? We have a lot of recovering alcoholics in my family for good reason. </p>
<p>Sister went to my mothers for the weekend on a last minute thing. Her avastin (sp?) is apparently not working and her numbers shot up. She got a new cat scan on Friday and is meeting with the doctor on Monday. I suppose the news will be either they will put her back on Chemo or we’re at the end of the road and they won’t go back to chemo even though it did seem to be working as long as she was one it. DTE? Do you have any insight as to the possible options here and which might be more likely? I think my sister shouldnt have gone and let my mother’s husband be her support. Sister has a tendency to take over and is not the calmest of the bunch. I just think my mother’s husband has earned the right to be “in charge” and just because sis is loaded doesn’t mean she gets to make health decisions. She views herself as a fixer, but in reality she steam rolls at times.</p>
<p>And OH! Tonight is prom for my friend’s daughter here. They are coming at three so I can do her hair and make up. She’s a great mom but has absolutely no interest in this kind of stuff. Waited so long to even look for a dress, they ended up getting something on line last minute when there wasn’t much in the way of choice or sizes. Interestingly, since the house is for sale, I brought my entire jewelry box up here that has a lot of PROM jewelry from my own two girls in various pouches. Her dress is blue and so I have come up with three, maybe four, options. So… I get to dress one last girl up for prom! Kinda looking forward to it and glad I don’t have to go to the pictures. Its freezing.</p>
<p>Trying to run up and see the wedding that’s about to start… but geez, it’s chilly today. I would have rented portable heaters as a precaution. :)</p>
<p>Edited to add - Oregon, your brother seems like a peach… and it says a great deal about his character that he is trying hard to walk a line with your sister on perhaps one side and you on the other. I’ve always heard that son’s are closer to their mothers and while i know yours was a piece of work, I imagine your brother is trying to honor her the best way he can without getting in the way of the lightening bolt that might strike. :_)</p>
<p>No, Actually my brother is stuck because he is the only one in the same town where my mother lived. He and I have had a similar relationship with our mother (so not at all close). I have another sis who is not attending either for similar reasons. And a very close (to my mom) niece and nephew who are also not there today. The nephew and niece are missing largely due to younger sis not working with people regarding the date. Still to say that my mother had complicated relationships would be putting in mildly and little sis is very much like her.
I had a good talk with myself (and brother as well) and it would have been inauthentic for me to have sat through what my sister is doing/saying. I know that I would support a client’s decision, should this be the case, also. I am not the kind to have many regrets after–I do a really good job putting myself through the wringer before the final decision. Then I come out the other end and am at peace. Guess it helps that I said my personal good by to my mother awhile back.
H and I went on a hike, had a nice lunch and now are home gardening. Haven’t yet heard how sis’s performance went but I do hope the event was nice and not filled with too much drama for my brothers sake.
So Mod do folks actually drink during the reception (held in this case in the funeral home)?
Or do you mean after at the house?
How fun to be part one one more prom!
km–hope your S is feeling better.</p>