<p>RM…you should document the bosses outbursts and bad behavior. You are, indeed, working in a hostile work environment. Can you get any support through HR? So very sorry you have to deal with the tyrant!</p>
<p>I am enjoying reading through Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache series. How have I missed these books for so long?!?! I really like her writing style and her nuggets about Canada/Quebec. I am addicted to thriller/murder mysteries and she raises the bar for this genre with her character development and beautiful descriptions. I just finished reading The Beautiful Mystery and I want to hear some Gregorian chants today. </p>
<p>NM, I have realized over the years that I don’t appreciate a beautifully written thriller, because I just want to get to the end to find out what happens. I’m actually that way with all fiction. It’s good that I’m not in HS taking AP English. They test them on fiction through “quote” tests…what character said what. This is actually pretty brilliant, because it disadvantages those who have just read the SparkNotes or Wikepedia plot summaries. However, I would likely also fail a quote test, in my desire to just get to the end of the book.</p>
<p>Kmc, thank you for the new client fairy dust!</p>
<p>Following ShawSon’s recs (he loves fantasy novels and has written – but not finished – one), I just finished The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man’s Fear, which are parts I and II of a fantasy trilogy called The Kingkiller Chronicle by Patrick Rothfuss. Not predictable and very interesting. Grippingly fun. Now I’m reading Ari Shavit’s My Promised Land: The Triumph and Tragedy of Israel. Very thoughtful and despite being a non-fiction book, it is also gripping. Will need to dissect his arguments, but I am learning a lot.</p>
<p>He just returned from admitted students weekend at his new school and is pumped. Got lots of very helpful advice from 2nd year students. Only one other kid his age – who ShawSon thought was quite impressive – and it sounds like they were becoming fast friends. Several people already running their own companies in second year. The weather was unsurprisingly wonderful. Being four to five years younger than most students, he will have to meet women in other parts of the school. But, his anxiety level has gone way down despite the fact that he though many of these kids were very strong.</p>
<p>ShawD was at the birthday party we gave last weekend for my SIL (the one who works with women on weight loss/healthy eating/healthy living – I’m going to post her info on our private site). ShawD had just finished a double shift at her hospital (3PM-11PM and the 11PM-7AM) and surprisingly was very tired. She was nearly falling asleep but needed to get back because she had a real party to go to. Even sleepy, she lights up the room with jer quirky, super enthusiastic style. She’s not ditzy but she bounces from thing to thing with such charm that you just leave smiling.</p>
<p>Somehow, ShawD was discussing with the former nanny of SIL that she chooses all of ShawSon’s clothes (except for suits/shirts that I pick up when they are on deep sales). He is deeply appreciative and thanks her regularly. She thinks he’ll need to enhance his wardrobe for his new life as a tech CEO in waiting. My MIL heard this and gave her $400 for clothes. ShawSon is becoming aware that his interior decorating skills are no longer appropriate for his age/status in life – his current GF apparently teased him about having a mattress on the floor and some of his clothes still in boxes. He actually asked ShawWife if she would come out and help him set up his room – he’s never asked for a thing before. </p>
<p>The ex-nanny (now a teacher) said that ShawSon should never tell future dates about his sister or his mother helping. He said, “I always tell them about my sister. I tell people I’m not average at anything. I’m either great or terrible.” He is on a journey that is likely a fair bit more interesting than most (and potentially a lot higher profile than most). The woman that marries ShawSon will get a ride on what is likely to be a fascinating journey with a very caring man, but she will probably have to enjoy organizing life and attending to things he just doesn’t see/do. [I’d say some of the same is true for ShawWife. ShawWife thought I was a project, but such a nice guy that the project was worth it. In the like father like son category, when she met me, I had a mattress on the floor and clothes still in boxes, she thought I needed to upgrade my wardrobe. And, she’s enjoyed most of what has been a pretty interesting ride (not so much when I was traveling a lot when the kids were little) – great travel, fascinating friends, etc… She’s gotten to pursue her art without having to take a teaching or other job for the years when the sales were light – and the folks I know can all afford a painting if they like her style (several have become collectors).]</p>
<p>I like that…and I love that he realizes that at this age and stage of his life! What is very important is that ShawSon has created and will in future create, his own company/job, so he can play to his strengths and hire the rest.</p>
<p>I have had this issue on my mind for so many years now…ever since Son was given the day long battery of tests that led to his diagnosis. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that in 4th grade he tested at 3rd grade level on one component of intelligence and at “12th grade +” on another. So many people have brains like that, but in school they need to somehow be good at everything. ShawSon is exceptional in that he has figured out (with the support of great parents) how to cope with/compensate for the skills at which he is “terrible” .</p>
<p>I’ve often thought my D should set up a business providing fashion assistance and/or decorating assistance to brilliant people who need help in that area. She did quite a bit of this in college. </p>
<p>Yesterday’s interview was very promising. She had a different interview today via skype that also went well. They have asked for a second interview and told her she is the only candidate who has the combination of experience and intelligence they are looking for. Her last day at work at her temp job is Friday and on Saturday she flies to her new city. It’s possible she’ll have a job offer this week, if not I’m hopeful one is just around the corner!</p>
<p>I just read the online obit for my 89 year old uncle by marriage who passed away earlier this month. He is survived by, among others, 2 great-great grandchildren…which means I have first cousins who have great grandchildren. My my my.</p>
<p>Northminn - I’m an avid mystery thriller reader as well. Love all the Ruth Rendall stuff. Can’t believe she is still writing at her age (80-90). Maybe she isn’t and just has a stable of writers doing her genre. Who knows…</p>
<p>D is thinking of incorporating so that she can get some clients aside from her current job. Part of the motivation is that New York has a initiative with new businesses including some tax-free benefits…for 10 years! She needs to do more research but I think it’s a good idea. She has to connect it to a university in NY in some way - new jobs, consulting, even interns. She has maintained lots of contact with her former profs, so it could be interesting!</p>
<p>cq, are these jobs in communications/PR or are they farther afield? Best of luck with those job prospects and MP best of luck with new clients. I spent the better part of this past week courting a couple of new prospective clients.</p>
<p>woody, there are a number of interesting things you can do with corporations. C-corps are better for some things like making health care expenses deductible (the right kind of setup could make tax deductible her premiums and co-pays and deductible expenses). With a number of other benefits, S-corps and C-corps are about the same.</p>
<p>Shaw, I have no idea what an S-corp or a C-corp is but will look into it ASAP!</p>
<p>Apparently, with this program in NY, new corporations will pay no tax for 10 years. Maybe it is something your son should look into with his company.</p>
<p>From the Start-Up NY website: ‘businesses can operate 100% tax-free for 10 years. No income tax, business, corporate, state or local taxes, sales and property taxes, or franchise fees.’</p>
<p>That is a pretty impressive program. It says, “income tax, business, corporate, state or local taxes, sales and property taxes, or franchise fees.” </p>
<p>C-corps pay tax before they distribute profits to the owners. S-corps pass it through, so the owners just get their share of the income and expenses. If the companies are tax free, that probably means C-corps.</p>
<p>For tech startups, they usually lose money in the beginning; often until they sell. The initial losses can be used to reduce taxes later. I wonder if get to keep the tax losses for later. In selling, the shareholders pay taxes. This wouldn’t save those taxes. Better for a slower growing business that is going to pay taxes each year. </p>
<p>boysx3, I hear something different. The company has lots of yellers. He’s not the worst. It sounds like it is part of the culture. If so, even though it could be characterized as harassment or a hostile environment, HR will probably not be supportive. A bit like “boys will be boys.” I think it is time to look elsewhere.</p>
<p>^i’d be inclined to agree on the corporate culture front. RM, you could always watch Glengarry Glen Ross sometime and practice how to speak his language (Just kidding…)</p>
<p>CQ, sending your daughter the new-city-job mojo!</p>
<p>Woody, tax-free for 10 years sounds fab…but just so you know, if she’s small and a C-corp typically there are more accounting costs and legal maintenance to comply with the status. And once she’s not tax-free, C-corps can mean in essence double taxation on profit if said profits are paid out as dividends. On the other hand, you can carry losses forward, and a C-corp offers the highest degree of personal indemnity. So it’s a trade-off.</p>
<p>The culture is somewhat “loud”. I just don’t like being told that I’m not committed when I’m doing everything I can. I also know when I’m “done for the day” and that’s not just clock time but rather I’m spent – there is just nothing left to give. I’d be okay if he would sometimes say that I was doing something right but his style I think is to carry a big stick. We’ll see at the end of the year how the review goes. Yesterday I had to give him bad news on a test and I had all the facts lined up with regards to what the issues were and how we were correcting it. That seemed to go well. If he gives me time to do my job right it goes well. The fact is my project is trying to cram 12 months work of work into 8 so he should be happy we are where we are!</p>
<p>@shawbridge - one job involves event planning/communication/marketing; it’s the one she REALLY is hoping for and had a third interview on Monday. The other is an executive assistant to a CEO position, which is what she’s been doing. Not her dream job, but she’s discovered she’s very good at this and it is a well compensated position. Plus having experience in it helps her get interviews/opens doors.</p>
<p>RM, sorry for your negative work environment. I’ve worked for lots of bosses over the years, and still remember one who was fabulous at making everyone feel valued and inspired you to do your best because you knew your efforts were valued. He was brilliant, kind, ethical, and set the bar high and raised everyone in the process. I do not supervise people, but do work with lots of people on lots of projects. With his inspiration in mind, I really try to take the time to let co-workers know when they are doing a great job. Even when we are in a crisis due to a tight deadline or a newly-discovered software defect, I can let people know I appreciate their efforts. </p>
<p>CQ - I totally agree. I try to always tell people thank you and I appreciate their efforts. That has done well for me because people have a tendency to do what I ask quickly because they know that I do appreciate their efforts. My boss just doesn’t seem to understand that for the most part people want to do the right thing but sometimes need help and/or the time to figure things out. He also needs to learn that just because he wants to do something “NOW” doesn’t mean that now is the time to do it, that people understand and can do it NOW, of that people have the same commitments he does and that NOW works for them. Just something I get. I mean really if I get an answer to something at 4:00 in the afternoon vs. 8:00 in the morning is it really that big a deal in the grand scheme of things? I don’t think so for 95% of the questions. :)</p>
<p>@college_query, I’d love to see your D get into her chosen field. As you know, I have been hiring someone like your daughter – smart, proactive, good social skills but a degree that doesn’t get them a job easily – as an EA. Other than losing them because of husband’s jobs, it has been a great strategy. My concern is what would happen next for your D.</p>
<p>I counseled my absolute favorite of EAs, who moved when her husband couldn’t find a job here got his dream job in DC, was to think carefully about what route she wanted to go down. She could probably make more short-run being an EA (especially with my superlative recommendation) but that she might want to look for a research or other job before she becomes too typecast. She decided she wanted to be an EA and I actually got her a job because my cousin in DC had just switched jobs and was looking for an EA. He told me that she is the best employee he has ever had. Period. The most recent one also moved when her H couldn’t find a job here and got a job elsewhere (not necessarily dream job) but she was hired to be an EA for a former Secretary of State (again with a strong reference from me and our HR person). What I don’t know is whether either can make lateral transfers easily after a while. We don’t really have an upward path in the company so I have no data.</p>
<p>Both of these EAs had a couple of years working experience before starting work with me. My current assistant graduated a year ago but couldn’t get a real job in the recent economy so this is her first real office job. She’s bright and enthusiastic but has more to learn. Hopefully she stays for 2-3 years and then wants to move on with my help. I’d gladly refer for other jobs, but companies can be pretty myopic. You all may have more experience with hiring than I.</p>
<p>@shawbridge - I think what you’ve raised is a concern she shares, and why she would prefer the position in event planning/communication/marketing, even if the other position has a higher salary. But she might not be offered the other position (or either position). She isn’t at all sure what she wants to do or where she wants to end up at this point, but just wants to start somewhere. When she was graduating last year she was really focused on journalism, both print and broadcast, but didn’t get a job she wanted and was offered a job she knew she didn’t want. I think it’s taken her a while to shift gears. This week she finally got a rejection to a broadcast job she applied for 7 months ago. It wasn’t even a regular job, it was an internship/training program. </p>
<p>I shudder as I admit that I have taken the first cognizant step toward little old lady-hood. As I was sending four sympathy cards in one day and reflecting on the cost and how I would just be sending more and more sympathy cards until the point at which my own kids were receiving them regarding my own departure, I did what every practical little old lady does. I went online and bought sympathy cards and birthday cards in bulk. They were so inexpensive that I bought a lot. Now I’ll be sending those same cards untl they are “vintage” - like the ones my MIL sends with no trace of irony. If I wasn’t going to have three kids in college in the fall, I would go right now for a consult on an eyelid lift, just for balance. </p>
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(Just kidding…)</p>