<p>Honestly as a society we spend too much time judging people over superficial details. We are going to go nowhere if we keep focusing on things that don’t matter, when there is so much more important things to focus on. We are in a heap load of trouble in this world and we better get our act together</p>
<p>DTE - great point about Stage IV vs. Stage I.
I remember a few years ago, there was an article in the NYT about just that. I’ve always been aware of the stark differences between the cheerleading and ‘save the tatas’ campaigns that have frequently been associated with breast cancer awareness vs. the absolute devastation that women with more advanced stages must face.
Of course, I support all efforts to educate women about the importance of detection and early intervention. But as a nurse who worked with women with breast ca at Sloan-Kettering for years, I know there is another side to breast cancer that is not all fun runs and pink ribbons. Frequently, these women were not able to find the emotional support - let alone, treatment - to help them through.</p>
<p>My friend is also a nurse who found her tumor 6 months after a clean mammogram. She was immediately diagnosed at stage 2 due to the size of the mass.After surgery, chemo and radiation she was in remission. Ten months later she insisted on a scan as she had a lingering cough. Was then diagnosed at stage 4 as the cancer had spread to lymph nodes and left lung. She has been through a tough year fighting the cancer which had also spread to the brain resulting in gamma knife radiosurgery , blood clots and having to have her lung drained of fluids every 2 weeks. She finally acknowledged she just couldn’t fight any more and entered hospice care. She was diligent about her health and detected her tumor early but it was aggressive. I hope we can eradicate this terrible disease soon.</p>
<p>I had a more advanced stage of cancer too, I had a mammogram that was clear too. But what I didnt know was that certain cancers are not found on mammogram. They are better visualized on breast MRI. (lobular) I was also not informed that a previous biopsy was something other than what I thought. When I asked my doctor he said MRI is not standard. I felt that he should have advocated for me, informed me and the decision could have been mine. Just because insurance may not pay for something doesn’t mean, we might make the decision to pay ourselves. Its hard to explain, but long story short, I fired him after 20 years. Also in dense breast tissue, tumors do not show up on mammogram. The tissue is white and so is the tumor. There are better and better mammos out there. but if you have dense breast tissue an ultrasound/mammo, and/or MRI is better. Many women don’t know this, and don’t know their category of tissue density. They think its only for people who have never had children or are younger. Anyway this is the end of my public service announcement. </p>
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<p>That is SO TRUE!!! For ages we have had a high deductible heath plan, and as a result, there have been years where all of our healthcare costs have been out of pocket. I have always had a problem with the course of treatment/tests depending 100% on what insurance will cover.</p>
<p>DTE, I totally appreciate your public service announcements and am so glad you are here to give them!</p>
<p>DTE thank you for the information. Certainly something I will discuss with my doc. I had a scary call back (H was not worried when he saw why they wanted another image) but still it is always scary for the woman. It was ok. I had a reduction a few years ago and the scarring causes problems when they are read.</p>
<p>D is on her way home from RI to be in a wedding. 3 nights calls this week and is getting a cold. Hope the cold is not real. The weather cooled down and there will be a lot of people we know so should be fun. Made 8 lbs of pork tenderloin with a basamic glaze for the picnic tonight. Gained 2 lbs. because I was trying to lose. This new belly has gotta go…looking into and will put the blame on my mother for always crtiicizing us growing up. Thus the self-concsciouseness. D does not understand this which makes me happy.</p>
<p>How crazy (damaged) is my sister? In her last email, “I decided I am not going to call or visit (our beloved Aunt who is dying). I do not need HER drama”.(really she is dying) This was over an arguement about a cell phone Sis had been providing. Just a stress argument but there you go in my family. I guess it makes sense…sis has abandonement issues so she will leave Aunt before Aunt can die and leave her. Posting here can lead to some new understandings!</p>
<p>Oregon…!!! What a thing for your sister to put in writing. What a way for her to feel.</p>
<p>DTE – So true. I just got the shingles vaccine even though it is probably not covered by insurance. Because of another health condition, I am at much higher risk for shingles, and I don’t especially care that if I wait until 60 it is covered. </p>
<p>I am wavering on whether to get a mammogram this year. Mine have been clear, and I don’t have dense tissue. There is conflicting advice on how often they’re appropriate in that case – the gyn is a fan of every year, the internal med doctor is concerned about unnecessary radiation exposure. Aargh. </p>
<p>Oregon – you have my sympathy. I had a sister who was irrational, and it wasn’t easy to be on the receiving end of some of those communications. It was always about her, and the lens through which she viewed the world was very cloudy and distorted. </p>
<p>dte…I love your public service announcements! Your info is so spot on! If my friend hadn’t advocated for herself I think her decline would have been sooner. </p>
<p>arabrab…I am also thinking about getting the shingles vaccine. </p>
<p>D1’s department at work is in the midst of reorg. She got good news/bad news today. The good news is she has a regular full time position but the bad news is she wanted a higher position that she didn’t get. She has only been there 6 months and in a position that she had no experience in! I told her she needs to be grateful and then when things begin to settle down schedule a face to face and ask what she needs to do to move up. I think she needs to take some classes for certification in this new business field but I know she will argue that point. sigh…according to her I don’t understand how businesses operate any more. 8-| </p>
<p>Really sad to hear about your friend NM and thanks DTE for sharing.</p>
<p>We’re in Hvar Croatia, a lovely resort area on the Adriatic as part of our 30th anniversary with ShawD and ShawSon. Having a great time. Crystal clear water, good seafood, beautiful but a bit crowded for such a stunningly lovely place The guidebooks said that it had become a playground for the rich with lots of yachts, which is somewhat true. But, they didn’t say that 75% or maybe even 80% of the tourists would be kids from 18-25 – largely European. It is probably cheap to get here on EasyJet and other low cost carriers. There must be a rule among the female population (the 18-25ers, that is) that if you don’t look really good in a bikini, you don’t come here on vacation. They are in serious display mode on the beach and frankly all day long but especially in the evening. The guys are not nearly as noticeable as the females according to ShawD. This might be an interesting anthropological study (mating rituals of the rather well-to-do).</p>
<p>We are really having a great time with the kids. They are so nice with each other and very funny. ShawSon has been working out big muscle groups at the gym while ShawD is master of the core. They worked out together today and both said, “Mom, he/she is torturing me” because the core exercises were tough for ShawSon and the squats and other things were tough for ShawD. Today, though, we went kayaking as a couple to another island. Went snorkeling and had lunch and kayaked back. Fun. ShawD is being inducted into a group at her school with the </p>
<p>We had a visitor today/night. One of ShawSon’s friends from college is a Chinese-American young woman who is at a very top law school and is interning for the Israeli Supreme Court this summer. Her BF broke up with her and she asked ShawSon if she could meet us in Croatia. ShawSon is the guy who all of his group would go to for advice and for fixing things. Interestingly, we were joking about one thing ShawSon is not so good at and she said that it was interesting to hear that there was something he wasn’t good at because she and all of the group that ShawSon was good at everything.</p>
<p>ShawSon had said that if he hadn’t been going out with GF#1, he would have been interested in her. She’s smart, nice, attractive and tall (about 5’9", which I suspect is rather tall for an Asian female). ShawSon still has his very nice GF and is not looking but ShawWife took it upon herself to warn ShawSon about getting into a relationship on the rebound.</p>
<p>dte - Thanks for the PSA. I have had some callbacks and have had untrasounds and MRI’s as a result. Worth it in my opinion, and I will/have paid out of pocket if needed.</p>
<p>NM - keeping you and your friend in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>Sounds like a nice trip, shaw.</p>
<p>Nothing much here. H and I both put in long stressful hours at work this week, so I am glad the weekend is here.</p>
<p>shawbridge, when you mentioned S’s friend, I wondered if perhaps she had a crush on shawson. Since he has a gf and will be moving soon, there’s time in the future to wait and not be a rebound bf. </p>
<p>It’s nice that your kids get along so well. Mine aren’t always that civil to each other, but fortunately D moved before S came home for the summer!</p>
<p>Work is crazy busy right now . . . school starts August 18. One of my co-workers just gave her notice and her last day is August 15. Guess who her back-up is? Yikes!</p>
<p>Could be, c_q. From her perspective, he seems to be the leader of the group who fixes everything and is good at everything. </p>
<p>We are now staying in an amazing apartment in Dubrovnik that we found on airbnb. Many, many steps up but a stunning view of the ocean, the walled old town hanging out over the ocean and nearby islands. Pictures cannot do it justice. The city is gorgeous. </p>
<p>Shaw, your vaca sounds fab but have you sent us the bus? I’m pretty sure quite a few of us would be up for joining you :)</p>
<p>Just back from a bff’s wedding up in Canada. Lovely afternoon affair at an art gallery. Looking forward, however, to a day to decompress and get in some float therapy!</p>
<p>DTE, thanks for the psa. I’m not sure I understand entirely why we’re still using mammograms when we could be using MRI scans and the research suggests there’s a difference. Eg, if as a society you’re going to perform preventative screening, would it really be that much more expensive in the long run to perform accurate screening at a reduced frequency, as opposed to the hit and miss that mammos seem to be…but maybe in addition to expense, people would avoid mri’s due to the dye and tunnel.</p>
<p>I look forward to the day we invent a true Star Trek scanner – hand held and cheap 
But the economic impact of this would be devastating to several health and pharma entities I suspect…which is why I largely feel that both medical research and medical care is something that should somehow be public domain not private market.</p>
<p>Of course, I just haven’t worked out what that would look like :)</p>
<p>Kmc, the bus doesn’t go here. We would need a ferry. If I had to do it again, I would come in September or October as it is hot (that constant pesky sun). But it is really nice here. Hvar was physically beautiful (setting and 18-25 yo kids) but Dubrovnik is really charming. </p>
<p>On a random happy note: we managed to snag a box of incredibly flavorful, delicious strawberries at Costco. Not what I expected from August berries, but I got them because DH likes any fruit as long as it ends in “berry.” A berry pleasant surprise. </p>
<p>We seem to be in the incredible pleasant weather part of the summer. Walked downtown to brunch with friends, got the doors and windows open, and we’ll set up charcoal for grilling in a while. This is one of the few places I’ve ever been where August is (mostly) a really pleasant month. (Of course, next week all hell brakes loose when the college students show up with their parents who do not know where they are going. Scary, scary driving conditions. Be very afraid of people with California plates.)</p>
<p>Off to steal some lavender from a neighbor – his variety is still in full bloom; mine finished a while ago.</p>
<p>arabrab, what will you do with the lavender?</p>
<p>We’ve had a cooler than usual summer, so I can’t complain!</p>
<p>Still at the lake and loving the day and evening here. Warm but not hot. Beautiful blue skies. Windows are open and birds are singing. H will commute in tomorrow morning and I will head home. Wonderful few days here. Hoping to see Super Moon and meteor shower tonight. Very peaceful and relaxing here.</p>
<p>arabrab… I put lavender essential oil on my pillow at night to help me sleep! :)</p>
<p>Hi all
Sorry for such a long absence. Hope all your graduates are having good summers and have great prospects for the future. </p>
<p>News here is #TS had his game chosen as one of the ones to represent his school at PAX. He is heading into his junior year. Not without some humps and bumps and a run-in with a non-trivial bout of depression that put him in bed for 2 weeks. We are working on that. He talked to a doc this week and believes it was helpful (I hope he will make another appointment and get more things semi-sorted out) Sending him back off tomorrow. I guess I don’t get to stop worrying. sigh</p>
<p>Other news here is my book is out and can be found on Amazon - please PM me if you want the link. Working on my exhibit/reading for the spring here at the college and have some additional readings scheduled locally (the launch went well) and I am working on some readings elsewhere.</p>
<p>We are basically shrouded in smoke here - fires all around us. Over 300 homes lost just North of here. Lightning storms predicted again for the next several days - which means anything goes. All papers and paintings are out of the house, van packed with the dog crates, ready to go at a moments notice. It sucks. I am longing for winter.</p>
<p>Otherwise, I have been getting fit and feeling pretty good (gagging on this smoke here though)</p>
<p>Hope things are well with my cyber friends. I’ll read back a little ways and see what is new.</p>
<p>Hey TM, welcome back. Exciting news about the game and book. Sendin ya the mojo for TMson and hugs for the worries.</p>
<p>Shaw, I’m pretty certain in our imaginations the bus is a magic bus that can fly to any exotic water-bound locale ;)</p>
<p>Arabrab, too funny…I now have quite a vision of what happens to your town on the start of school. Ann Arbor is a lot like that in September…the variety of license plates fascinating. The availability of parking = nil. The driving risk is dramatically reduced, however, by the fact that traffic is mostly at a standstill :)</p>