Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>LasMa, I can’t add much to the good advice you’ve already received, except to tell you this story: last week a friend told me how “brilliant” her father had been when she hated college and wanted to come home. He refused to even talk about it (much easier back then) until October by when, of course, she had found friends, discovered there actually was food in the dining hall she could tolerate, etc. </p>

<p>TheAnalyst - at least you are hearing about homework. I have no idea if D’s work is too challenging, not challenging enough, or even if she is doing it in a timely manner (something she never really mastered in HS :(). </p>

<p>And to cpeltz’s question, we are not in silence land, we are in TMI territory. The initial flurry of calls and texts have quieted down, but D1 and D2 Skype frequently, so I overhear way more than I’d like. Nothing bad (well except the upcoming toga party :eek:), just a lot of conversation going on in her dorm room. So I know too much about stuff I’d prefer not too, but not enough about the important stuff, like homework.</p>

<p>This is going to take some getting used to.</p>

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<p>Husband is breaking all the “rules.” He calls Son almost every day when I’m not a home and keeps him on the phone for about half an hour. I haven’t initiated a call to Son but he’s called me a few times on his own (e.g. “Where is my graphing calculator?”) I’m upset at Husband for what he’s doing because he loves having info that I don’t (the kids have a much closer relationship with me than with him), but I will not use Son as a pawn in Husband’s little game.</p>

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<p>Mom4college, is she at a large University or a LAC? Sometimes freshmen have to get these large survey courses out of the way early, and classes become more intimate from here on. If your daughter is taking the number of credits he advisor recommends, she will be plenty busy–there will probably be a great deal of homework. The class hours aren’t necessarily an indication of the academic rigor.</p>

<p>Cpeltz, we’re in silence land too–I’m trying, maybe every other day, to text something interesting (like that $100 check you were waiting for has been deposited into your account) but we haven’t had any lengthy communication since Sunday. I am sending some stuff today–jeans, socks, maybe some food–and am hoping for some kind of communication this weekend, to see how his placement auditions (two days ago) panned out. Annoying…</p>

<p>PRJ, I LONG for TMI–that’s never gonna happen!!!</p>

<p>Missy, that’s incredibly annoying. I make dh contact sometimes, because the boys tend to respond to him–though we’re close, I’m seen as too nosey…</p>

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<p>I am grateful that S2 has been generous with his emails so far. He never talked much at home so I seem to know more about what is going on at college than I ever did with high school. I send him a daily email every morning with just chatty stuff on his dad, his brother, what I hear about his friends from their moms, etc. I sometimes ask a few casual, open-ended questions, but have told him that a once a week response is enough, so that takes the pressure off. He has gotten in the habit of looking for those emails and replies with an in-kind chatty response almost every day now. I do the same routine with his brother, but only get a sentence or two response most of the time there, so it just depends on the kid.</p>

<p>He solved his starvation issue with a case of ramen noodles. He messed up on getting a football ticket, but set his alarm for 1:00 am for when unclaimed tickets would become available and snagged one, so is looking forward to the game this week-end.</p>

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<p>Just got a call from D2! She is on the road traveling for away game…almost nine hours on the bus! :eek: She wants me to bring a tennis racquet, ranch corn nuts and tennis shoes when we see her. What a combination! Said she was studying for one of her humanities class and the material was very similar to her former APEuro class. Two of her profs never responded to her email notifying them she would not be in class the first day and could she get syllabus or assignments. She is worried about the nonresponse.</p>

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<p>Much to my surprise, we are kind of in silence land. We left D last Friday, and since then I think we’ve had a few text messages, a couple of IMs (mostly asking if she’d gotten a German translation right and about her cell phone).</p>

<p>The upside is that the text messages are things like “I love college” or “Doing such and such now: super fun.” </p>

<p>The downside is the inability to visualize what her day to day life is like, what’s she’s doing in class, how it’s going with her roommate, etc.</p>

<p>She did send one email after her first day of classes that said she adored all her teachers, but had tons of homework. Since then, not a peep about classes or work. I suspect we’ll hear more come the weekend – but it’s not at all what I expected.</p>

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<p>The phone just rang: D asking how to do laundry … :slight_smile: But we did get about 20minutes of conversation. All is well; she has good friends; but she did say that she has tons of work, that classes are intense, and that she liked it better without the upper classmen around and before classes started … </p>

<p>All is well.</p>

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<p>I love college so far. :slight_smile: I haven’t made any friends yet but it’s just the third day and I haven’t even got off my butt to find the cafeteria yet, so I am hoping it’ll happen. My roommate is nice and we seem to have stuff in common and she seems to like me, so I think we’ll get along and might even be friends. My dorm room is great. I introduced myself to the girls next door yesterday when they moved in and one of them is even from my hometown, so when we get a chance I am hoping to invite them over to watch a movie or play Apples to Apples or something. :stuck_out_tongue: I don’t know how classes will go yet but I am becoming really comfortable here. It’s like a dream, I can’t believe I am finally here after all that time wishing I was. I went to community college for two years, as some of you may know, and the whole time I was counting down the days to this. FINALLY!</p>

<p>I thought maybe once I got here the shock that I am actually going to a school like Michigan would wear off, but if anything it got worse. I am fairly confident in my ability to handle it,but at the same time it just seems CRAZY that I, of all people, made it to a school like this.</p>

<p>The dinner menu is all ethnic food so I need to run to the cafeteria for lunch or I am going to starve all night again. XD I hope your kids are all doing well, too! I had to ask my mom to stop texting me quite so much, my fingers were ready to fall off yesterday. Poor woman. XD I’ll call her today.</p>

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<p>** And now for something completely different **</p>

<p>Future SIL just got a job – a real job, right in his field (software), with great benefits. Wedding is on for next summer!</p>

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<p>Twistedxkiss, sounds like you have the maturity to really appreciate where you are and to take advantage of all that is avaialble to you. Enrollment at the local community colleges is up between 10 and 20% this year, mostly likely driven by the economy. However, I bet that a lot of those students will benefit from greater maturity when they do go away.</p>

<p>I had seriously considered CC for my Son do to all of his “issues” (he may still if he loses his merit aid) but I think being away from home/distractions/old habits is good for his study skills.</p>

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<p>Congrats but more details, please!</p>

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<p>Well, they graduated from college in May; D started graduate work at CU-Boulder this fall; and fiance just got a job in software development with an excellent firm in the Denver area after a grueling interview process. So he’ll be moving to Boulder, and they plan to get married (so young, says Mom!) next summer.</p>

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<p>TwistedxKiss – I’m very happy for you that you are settling in well at your dream school. And why NOT someone like you being there? You obviously worked hard to make your dream a reality. Enjoy! You deserve it! :D</p>

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<p>Spoke to D, she loves the California flag I sent her. She loves her roommates so far, she was shocked at the cost of books, her Calc class won’t use calculators (why she is taking calc I have no idea, but she wanted to, so good for her), she is going to club meetings and seems to be the leader of the pack in her room, but in a good way, she just knows her way around.</p>

<p>Yesterday, we had to put our old dog down. Will tell the girls this weekend, when I know they aren’t on their way to a class or meeting. They knew it was coming, but want to make sure they are in a good place to hear the news.</p>

<p>H spoke to both girls today, I didn’t. it was nice. I reminded my Ds that while dad may not always respoind to a text or have lots of time to talk, just getting a quick note or message or conversation from them means soooo much. He shows me the texts and is all smiley faced</p>

<p>Ds school has freshman in classes every day,she has five classes and likes them so far.</p>

<p>upper classman can schedule themselves, as my D did to, classes all day with three days off to work, intern etc.</p>

<p>We parental units are doing pretty good, keeping busy, though husband keeps asking if I am okay- emptynest and dog passing- and I am actually feeling okay. Except I was irrated when I couldn’t park my van by the house, and I realized its because Ds car is sitting there, not being driven to school every day. </p>

<p>Ds are both at same school, and are happy about it. See each other when they want,that kind of thing.</p>

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<p>I’m so enjoying this thread eavesdropping on this thread. It’s preparing for NEXT fall when it’s my turn, but “do you know where my 10:00 class is?” is my favorite thing YET!!!</p>

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<p>S called at 11:30pm last night and scared me! but was at the store–school took buses to a box store and the store had sales for them–cute, I thought. He wanted to know if we were paying for the stuff he was getting…food, a body pillow to study in bed, etc. I did not have the heart to tell him that should be on his dime now (prior agreement) but did say “this once”. He has called to let me know that he switched classes and needed new books. Course the $80 headphones he bought for the dropped class have been opened…
I did suggest he talk with the teacher his is dropping from as they had a class already. He already had! so that felt good. I worked very hard at getting him to talk with teachers in HS and it has payed off. (pat on back here :slight_smile: ). I do not really think we will hear much about S’s social life. I just hope he is not texting with his HS GF like he was all summer.
TK–That is just great that you and your roommate are working out. When I was a junior I had a freshman as a roomate and we got along easily.</p>

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<p>"I think being away from home/distractions/old habits is good for his study skills. "</p>

<p>I am quite sure that’s how it’s going to be for me. It was really hard for me to study at home for a variety of reasons, I swear I could have concentrated better if I’d parked myself on a highway median. I tried to explain that to my parents but they laughed at me. In the hustle and bustle of move in and the partying during welcome week, I am actually doing research on the subject matter of my courses to get ahead. Seems to me I was right!</p>

<p>“TwistedxKiss – I’m very happy for you that you are settling in well at your dream school. And why NOT someone like you being there? You obviously worked hard to make your dream a reality. Enjoy! You deserve it!”</p>

<p>Gosh, it’s so rewarding. I grew up about 20 minutes from Ann Arbor so Michigan was always THE school, that’s where all the best students seemed to go. I graduated high school, barely, with a 2.8 and applied to tier 3 and 4 type schools, ended up at CC for financial reasons. First semester of college I got a 2.7. But then I raised it to a 3.5 within two semesters to apply to transfer, and ended up leaving CC with a 3.7. So I only just started making the kind of grades necessary to be here around this time last year, so it was such a radical transformation so quickly! I think I can do it but the idea that a year ago I was barely college material at all and now I am at MICHIGAN, it’s enough to make your head spin! It’s so beautiful and fun and stimulating here, academically and socially, I’m just in awe that I get to experience this for two whole years. I never imagined I’d get to have something like this. This kind of thing just doesn’t happen to people like me. I’ve really broken the mold for my family by coming here. :)</p>

<p>ETA: A funny for you… My mom is convinced that I am starving. She only cooked two or three nights a week anyway and half the time I didn’t even eat it, so I wasn’t expecting her to freak out about not knowing what I was eating. I took a picture of my lunch with my phone and sent it to her as “proof that I am eating” so she’d chill out. XD She isn’t quite an empty nester yet but my sister is on a 10 day trip with her friend and her parents, so my mom really got a shock when I left now that there’s no kids in the house. Though I expect when the 16 year old returns she’ll just miss me even more. :P</p>

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<p>I haven’t posted for a few days so am catching up. Lasma–I think the idea of your D talking to her previous therapist is a great one. </p>

<p>Glad to hear the good and bad news from all of you. </p>

<p>I spoke with DD a short time ago. I emailed her earlier to suggest she purchase some hand sanitizer. I didn’t recall if I sent any with her. She was gracious about my suggestion and did know that our the other state U has had about 50 cases of h1n1. The thought of her being sick scares me. </p>

<p>She’s keeping up with her workload and enjoying the first week of classes. Indicated she was going to try to do laundry this afternoon, attend a pizza party this evening, and then go to a football game. She’s taking advantage of stretches of time between classes/activities to read, etc. (Is this really my D???) She’s doing things like making her own appointments, getting some paperwork faxed, etc. I’m happy for her and proud of her. </p>

<p>DH is out of town this week. For some reason having him gone and DD gone is making the fact that DD is really away easier. I think it’s because the normal family dynamic is missing. I am enjoying time with DS and doing some mother/son bonding. DS also seems to be pretty tolerant of my mothering this week.</p>

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<p>Well, first fight with my mom since moving put a damper on things. I’d planned to put my loan refund money into savings so I actually have some money when I graduate to like… move and have an emergency fund, but my mom opened the check and decided I no longer need them to pay for books-- she wants half the refund to repay my dad for what he bought for this semester and for me to use the rest for next semester. That is the one thing that they have always paid for, the rest is all loans in my name. I would have appreciated a heads up before I picked this school, the idea that I’d have SOME money when I graduated was kind of important in my decision making. If I just have money from what I have leftover after purchasing necessities when I get my job, I will be lucky to have $50 when I graduate. The only way around that is to drop to part time to work more hours, whichcase I have to take a 5th and possibly even a 6th year, and if I’d known that I’d have picked a cheaper school. I’d have known I couldn’t afford this. I had planned to have over $3,000 in savings when I graduated from that money and my parents had other plans and didn’t bother to tell me. I don’t know why they think I don’t need to know these things. </p>

<p>I’ve also been informed that if I get any kind of a credit card I’m not allowed to come home anymore-- how am I supposed to get my own place EVER if I am not allowed to establish credit? I was going to just get a store charge but I don’t have money to spend on clothes or anything, I was planning on getting a credit card when I start my job next semester to just put a few necessities on that I HAVE the money for and then pay the balance off every month just so I’ll be able to establish some credit. I don’t know how else to do it. But apparently because my parents were irresponsible with their credit cards they are now banned from the house. Great.</p>

<p>I don’t even want to be here now. I don’t know how I’ll ever manage to make it when I graduate with no savings and so much debt. This isn’t what I had planned for at all.</p>

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<p>HeY TK–take a deep deep breath. My guess is that you are very tired right now and coming down from your excitement. If I remember correctly, you are 20. You can decide to find a summer job that has housing–a summer camp–work on campus–a nanny. You also can get a PO box and have any mail you want delivered there and never have anything important delivered at home. You can open a bank account at a bank that only you know about. You can make some decisions to protect yourself. But right now you will hopefully not allow worries about graduation in two years ruin the here and now. You might become a TA next year–etc. Your mom just needed to take the wind out of your sails. She did a good job but only if you let her. Take a nap and then walk and get an ice cream somewhere on campus and say hi to 5 random people. Then write back and let us know how you are doing.</p>

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<p>Yea, Zetesis on the phone call and (future) SIL’s job!</p>