<p>“a ship is safe in the harbor but thats not where its meant to be”
OK - why don’t you just kill me now!
Glad to hear it all went well modadunn!</p>
<p>Twisted… go to health services. Unless you go to a huge something where it may work completely differently, that’s why they are there. Don’t go into the weekend feeling like crap. And… if you have a fever at all (which if you’re taking Advil, how would you truly know), but if you did have a fever, do not cross go until you have it checked out by physician. Pep Rally would be fun, I agree, but not so much in the future if everyone there also gets sick.</p>
<p>I took my temp before I took the advil and have waited to take more until the previous dose wore off and I could take my temp again. I am definitely better than yesterday, the throat is so mild that it could just be dry, I was horrendously dehydrated when I got here. I thought in the email I got it said I just had to stay in my room if I had a fever until it was gone for 24 hours, unless I was sick enough that I needed to go to health services. So I have been in my room even though there is no fever, I skipped the pep rally. I guess my roommate may get sick but she’s a pretty horrible person anyway so I’m not to worried about it anymore.</p>
<p>“I guess my roommate may get sick but she’s a pretty horrible person anyway so I’m not to (sic) worried about it anymore.”
Now, now,you don’t REALLY mean that, do you??
In any event get to the Health Service before the weekend. D was (still) ill last weekend and the service was closed. Spent the entire day in taxis finding a walk-in, pharmacy, etc. Not fun!</p>
<p>I don’t, I’m just bitter. I have bent over backwards to be nice to her and she isn’t being overtly mean but basically treats me like a piece of furniture and I am very disappointed, and getting extremely lonely. I thought if I was nice to her and we had things in common, which we do, we’d at least be casual friends. But she seems to have decided she’s not even interested in getting to know me. Like when she has friends over they will make conversation with me and she stares into space until they stop, I don’t understand what her problem is. I don’t really hope she gets sick at all, and deep down I feel sorry for her for having to live with a sicky. I just don’t like to admit it to myself because I am annoyed with her at the moment. 
If I am still sick tomorrow I think my mom is going to come get me and bring me to my regular doctor. I have some unique health concerns and I only moved 20 minutes away, and my mom has some stuff to give me that I forgot anyway.</p>
<p>kid at my D’s school had strep, stayed in room for 24 hrs until antibiotics in. It is mean to not be inclusive in school, cant we all just get along.</p>
<p>Yeah I waited around for hours the day she moved in to be here because I thought she’d want to hang out once she got settled in, but she ran out the door immediately to go to a party and didn’t invite me or anything. She goes out every day and even when she knows we are going to the same place won’t invite me to go along, and if I ask her to go with me she says she’ll meet up with me later and then doesn’t. I just don’t understand. I don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve that and she hasn’t even gotten to know me so I don’t know how she could have decided not to like me already.</p>
<p>I did find it kind of funny that she was a varsity cheerleader all four years in high school, so up til now. I’d forgotten all about that. This is exactly the “cheerleader stereotype” from when I was in high school. Perfectly nice girls but not interested in anyone they don’t perceive to belong in their world. I met some really nice girls in high school even despite that and hoped she’d be more like them. Now I don’t know, I am trying really hard to not allow her to make a bad first impression on me but I am losing patience. </p>
<p>I don’t know if I should say something or just ignore her back or what. It’s so defeating to keep trying to be nice for nothing. It’s just not in my nature to behave like she is.</p>
<p>I would say be civil, be cordial, but don’t give the situation any more energy than is warranted.</p>
<p>I sent you a PM</p>
<p>^agree with the above. She is your roommate, doesn’t have to be your friend. Its nice to get along but sounds like you need to look to others for friendships. And if she is that flighty or shallow, who needs her?</p>
<p>Supposedly she’s coming to the football game with me tomorrow but I haven’t heard from her all day so who knows now. I won’t have anyone to go with without her. Some Meijer madness thing is going on tonight and everyone is going, I pretty much just walked down the hall and knocked on the doors of everyone I’ve met and no one is home, so I guess if I am going to go I have to take the bus by myself in the dark. This is stupid.</p>
<p>Twisted, I want you to step back a bit. Take a look at how you may be coming across to other people. Not that you are doing anything really wrong, just perceptions matter, and if you gave an impression initially of someone who might be a bit needy, then that can be a turn off.</p>
<p>You say you have the mentallity of a freshman, well, you are twenty, and need to remember that and be twenty. You can’t have the mentalliy of a freshman, you need to have the presense of an older transfer student and come across as someone who has it together, even if you have to fake it for awhile. We all do.</p>
<p>I noticed that you have been posting at least every 45 minutes or so all day, have you not left your room? I know you said you were sick, but you need to get out there if you are feeling better. I know you knocked on doors and “Everyone” is gone, but that just isn’t possible. You won’ be riding alone, there will be others. </p>
<p>You need to look beyond your roommate for friends and acquaintances. </p>
<p>You have made an amazing step, and your family seem a bit jerkish, but you need to move on. You sound like you have worked really hard, but you can’t let a rocky start with having a temperature and a fight with your mom ruin an amazing opportunity. Its early days yet and you need to find clubs, etc and then you will be able to really connect. If your roommates a flake, so be it. But don’t let her hold you back. This is when you need to dive right in and sometimes it will click and other times, eh, not so much. </p>
<p>But you need to let go of the toxic in your life and see all the possibilites.</p>
<p>Tk,
I was going to suggest that tomorrow morning after breakfast you go relax in your floor lounge for a bit. A lot of kids will be going by going to the game…it will be easy to join a group casually, or maybe you’ll meet up with a singleton or a pair looking for others to go with. Go where the people are and you’ll meet people.</p>
<p>TwistedxKiss: My d has a roommate that sounds alot like yours- not inviting her anywhere (even though she arrived at college with previous friends and did a pre-orientation that my D didn’t), not introducing the friends who come to their room, not showing up or returning texts even whe she promised to meet up, etc. In fact, once during move-in day when the DH was waiting for us in the dorm room, the roommate came in with two friends and they acted like he wasn’t even there. My D is pretty disappointed. She said it feels too much like high school and the girls who ruled the school, but I tired to point out that these are girls who haven’t matured and haven’t moved on from clique behavior. I don’t know how much that helps though. However, she has been trying to go to on campus events, even if it means going by herself, and I think thiings will get much better when classes start as well, when it isn’t all about who the roommate is, but who the classmates are.</p>
<p>You guys are all right. I actually was about to go to the meijer madness thing by myself tonight and my roommate came back in and I asked if I could go, and I met one of her friends and we all ended up splitting up and I was with him and met some of his other friends, and I met some kids on the bus. It was great to get out, you’re right that I hadn’t left. >.< I skipped the pep rally and that was the first real event we had. Tomorrow is the game and I am going to that roommate or no roommate and I noticed a club I want to join meets next week. So it’ll get better, I just have to be patient.</p>
<p>Yeah!!! Be patient but not complacent!!! You don’t need to go to each and every event, but just be visible. like go to the lounge as suggested.</p>
<p>Some girls are in college and still act like highschool. You will find your niche, meet some great kids, and your roommate will then be the one who wonders where you are at what fun you are having!!</p>
<p>My D would try to get people to go into Manhattan with her on a Saturday morning. No one wanted to go that early, so she just went off alone. She would come back, having done a bit of shopping, ate some lunch and had a great time. By the time she got back, people were just getting up!! It didn[t take long for her to find a few other people of the same mindet who wanted to join her. Check out lots of clubs, try intermural sports, ike frisbee, look to do back stage at plays or musicals, find some groups that do volinteer work, there is so much at college to do, you don’t need to wait around for a flakey roommate!!!</p>
<p>TxK - ilovetoquilt’s advice is excellent and sound. I 2nd it. And it will change when classes start and you meet more people. If you are on a floor with many freshmen, you’re 2 or maybe even 3 years older than them and there is a big difference in maturity. Sounds like you’re doing better. Push fluids (like 2 liters a day) to help with your health and I think though there will be ups and downs, it will improved steadily. Its a rare kid who loves and embraces college from day 1 and never has a down period.</p>
<p>Son is home for the long weekend…nice to have him back. There is a lot of flu on campus - mostly seasonal, a bit of H1N1. But here’s the part that doesn’t make sense to me - they are sending the kids with flu home. I have zero background in public health, but it seems like they’d want to confine the flu where it is, not send it all over the state.</p>
<p>Heard about Son’s classes in (mind numbing Aspie) detail. His Communications class is taught by the new Professor of Native American Studies, so guess what they are learning…right…not Communications but Native Americn Studies. I told him it’s a gen ed class, not in his major, that’s not a prerequisite for anything, so it’s not essential that he really learn what he was supposed to learn in the class…just learn what the teacher is teaching.</p>
<p>I think Son was actually paying attention when I said (a million times at least) that if he doesn’t keep a 3.0 he loses his merit aid and comes home. I think he is prioritizing homework above all social activities. I’ll continue to give him social pointers but if he wants to put academics first this semester I hate to pull him off track.</p>
<p>We’ve got a whole weekend with no where we have to be except church and football (our HS team in the new professional stadium!) on Monday. I’m going to try to get a lot of “cleaning out” done but we’ll see how far I get with that.</p>
<p>missypie – at D1’s university, they’ve told kids who think they have the flu not even to come to health services; stay in dorms/apartments, and consult by phone. Seems they are taking the opposite approach as your son’s college.</p>
<p>Yeah, it’s hard to find a junior mindset because my CC really was just like high school over again-- even most of the same kids, just a smaller class size altogether, and now this is my first time at a university and my whole section of the building appears to be freshmen and it’s a really absorbing atmosphere. I like to think I do not appear as needy as I do here as this has been sort of a confiding space and not necessary what I am saying to everyone I run into in person, though I am a bit socially awkward these days so who knows what people are thinking of me. When people aren’t being particularly inclusive I can’t tell if they just don’t know what to do with me because they don’t know me, or if they just don’t want me there. On the way to the buses roommate and her friend talked about some girl from their old school the whole way and made no effort to talk about anything I could have participated in, and I felt like they just didn’t want me there but her friends obviously had no problem with me so maybe since they come from such a teeny tiny town they aren’t used to having new people around. My HS alone had 6000 students, their town has 700 people. But I am taking 300 level classes so I definitely wont always be surrounded by freshmen once classes start, and I am getting the impression I take academics much more seriously than they do. I have already been researching for my classes and working on homework early. As I settle in I think it’ll be easier and easier to draw some separation there while still being friendly, I really like the other girls on my floor. We have a hall meeting tomorrow so hopefully I’ll meet more then! It’s a shame I am one of the only few transfers that live in the dorms, the rest live in the apartments on North campus but those are really not an ideal situation for a non-engineering student so I wasn’t sure WHY they mob up there, maybe this is why. XD </p>
<p>Yesterday I ended up with a friend of roommate’s that she met at freshmen orientation, and we got separated crowding the buses to get to the place so I ended up with him and some of his friends-- one of which was from my hometown. It was kind of awkward because at one point before we split up he and I were apart from the rest of the group and he asked me why I hadn’t been coming out with roommate to come see them, and I just sort of laughed and said, “oh, well she doesn’t bring me I guess!” in a lighthearted way and he was like, “HEY WHY DON’T YOU EVER INVITE THIS GIRL TO HANG OUT WITH US!?” and I was just like “ohhh god.” Awkward awkward awkward so not what I wanted him to do. This morning she has invited me out with her everywhere she goes. I am pretty much over it at this point but when I am feeling better if she still invites me out every now and then I’ll go. I had to politely decline today. They are going clubbing tonight after the game and I am so allergic to smoke that being around it gives me cough and sore throat for several days, so I really need to avoid that until my throat is totally better or it’ll get worse. I guess we really are going to the game together today. If today’s attitude lasts for any period of time we may at least be able to have a friendly relationship even if we aren’t friends, and that was what I was hoping for in the very least-- you know, a hello when someone walks through the door, an occasional conversation, rather than just dead silence when both of us are in the room. You can be polite without deciding you have to be someones new best friend. We never even got to the polite stage and I’d be happy there. But even if not, now that the surprise has worn off, I really don’t care if she’s decided not to like me so unfairly as long as she’s a decent roommate, and she appears to be. I never intended to rely solely on her for companionship, just figured that was a good place to start. Apparently not, oh well, time to branch out more. It’ll work out. I still am really loving it here, I’ve just always sucked at this part of life. XD</p>
<p>Missypie, you and I are having the exact opposite experience with the communication from our boys. S did have a nice conversation with my son-in-law who lives nearby…apparently he’s meeting other friends on his floor, roommie and he were heading out on the town last night, classes are good. All in all, I’m thrilled, and happy to have other outlets to hear about how he’s doing. Hopefully, I’ll have a phone conversation with him over the weekend, but I’m trying to wait and let him come to me.</p>
<p>Anybody heard ANYTHING from #theorymom?</p>