Shaw, the coop that shared meals/responsibilites is the one that floundered and I understand that part of the plan was aborted. The psychologists homes sell very well and I do think the population has changed somewhat but it is still a draw to artist and therapists. They still have the yearly Sandbox Therapy conference and training. It use to be that this treatment was for young children but has branched out. The group of houses forming a neighborhood is thriving.
kmc, there was a huge house/estate for sale for a number of years nearby. I figured out that if 6 couples went in together with some remodeling they could each have their own suite. Hired folks could have a section. I actually think that some of us will figure this out. We have lovely apartments for 50+ but they are high rises.
That said my 70 yr old friend moved to Denver recently to be near family and loves her 50+ life. Gorgeous apartment, happy hour, coffee and treats, shuttles. She has a lovely large apartment with a view of Pike’s Peak.
RM, I wish you could do all the things that you want to spend time on. You have so much talent.
I now have the time and am finding many of my interests are not that interesting any more. I doubt I have the amount of talent you have in your little finger. Actually, my strength is in design. I design and remodel nearly everything I see–all in my head. In my perfect life I would have been and architect.
arabrab, has your brother thought of renting a small apartment or even a room to get the address he needs for the H.S.? As a temporary solution while he looks.
Oregon - I think we will soon see if I really am talented. I’m making the Christening gown for grandson. So it’s being made from my wedding dress, my MIL’s wedding dress and HER mother’s wedding dress – MIL is 95. So VERY different styles and color. We’ll see if I can figure a way to blend them all together to come up with something that looks good.
Someday you guys will get to see my book on how to think about career choices over time. It is awaiting a properly motivated coauthor who wants to use it to help her/his career. I have talked with several folks who would like to do it but want someone who will want to publicize it as part of a career plan.
I try to think about success retrospectively and one of three tests of success is whether you get up in the morning wanting to do what you are going to do that day. Those people who do get up wanting to do what they are going to do largely don’t want to work to the clock. Both ShawWife and I feel blessed to love what we do (although ShawWife is having issues with the second test of a successful career trajectory these days). I think our kids get our joy with our careers seen and internalized the desire to live a life that way and wouldn’t see the clock as the issue, although I think that being a nurse practitioner has limits work for reasons physical, emotional and organizational. And, ShawD chose becoming an NP rather than a doc in part because she wants to spend time with her kids. (Like the millennials, I had to make my kids a real priority – when I was in town, I came home for dinner at 6 every night and helped with homework/putting to bed – but unlike the millennials, I usually got back to work for another three hours.) But hearing her talk about how she does patient exams, she is so engaged and excited. Similarly, I don’t even mind eating a burger at 10 pm at the hotel bar tonight in Frankfurt – yesterday in London was so rewarding and tomorrow should move the ball forward.
Re: 'the healthy respect for work". Ha!
I just started teaching another one of my online courses. I was asked to take on a grad student as a TA so the student could complete her requirements in the nursing education track. I’ve been emailing her, giving her a schedule, what her weekly assignments are, etc. I got nothing back. Not a peep! Until tonight, when she told me she has been on vacation since Sunday - when my course started - and won’t be back till this weekend!! She has spotty internet connections so won’t be able to participate much this week. Really?? The first week of the class?? ANY week of the class??
I’m doing her a favor here… life is much simpler when I don’t have to explain everything. And besides, I’m only a lowly adjunct for heaven’s sake!! Aarrgghh!!
RM – sounds like an amazing gown. I’d love to see a picture when you figure it out.
Shawbridge – I think you’re spot on about the way it is easy to do personally rewarding work. I look forward to seeing the book. My dad elected a lesser paying job because he loved what he did, and didn’t at all like to do what the next job up required. I saw a lot of folks from b-school/law school who went into high paying environments that they hated, but it isn’t so easy to get off that track once you’ve built your lifestyle around that level of income.
kmcmom – Sounds like you’ve really built a good team. And son’s new gf sounds like a pretty neat fit.
woody, you might let her know that it would be easier for you to do the job without her but that you are taking her on to do her a favor, but expect that she is responsive and effective. Otherwise, you would expect to terminate the arrangement.
I get to do work I love and only sacrificed relative to being in private equity/hedge funds (I was in both). So, most people wouldn’t really think I was sacrificing.
RM, part of what I value in owning my business is autonomy. I don’t have to do stuff unless I want to. I can assign clients in St. Louis to other folks, etc.
kmc, your son and new gf seem to be doing very well.
ShawSon turns 25 today. I will wait until I get back to the US to call him as he works incredibly hard from Wednesday to Friday (no sleep usually) but I told him to use our credit card to take some friends out to dinner after he has caught up on his sleep – maybe Saturday night. I’d love to see him date, but I think that will have to wait until next quarter (when his courses are more manageable and probably his friend is gone as it might be hard for your new date to understand that this pretty woman has moved across county to live with you, but there is no relationship there).
My dad’s 's birthday was March 5th. He is gone but an interesting character. Very intelligent guy, read all the time, loved history, athletic and recruited by Gettysburg college for basketball but didn’t go-drafted. He was a steelworker who worked hard for his family. I am very proud of him.
I get that shaw on the autonomy. At one time I did like to code. Then it was raise a family and the hours that I was working in a coding role as a consultant didn’t really jive with what I wanted for raising a family. I was at every ball game, regatta, was a room mom, etc. Yes I recouped those hours with extra off hours work but being a consultant allowed me to do that (I worked for a company but the boss knew what I was capable and I was given freedom to take jobs that interested me and turn down jobs that didn’t) I think I was happiest being a consultant. I aged. Felt that consulting wasn’t going to be profitable in my area (gee was I correct as after I turned to full time work many of the companies near me stopped hiring consultants) so took a full time job. I have been ambivalent about the work since taking a “real” job. Now maybe it was because at that time I also was getting further away from coding and more management centered. The problems I solve now for the most part seem petty and not really that interesting to me. Now well I’m so close to retirement that I’m just not willing to make any big steps that would result in lesser pay. People might say that money doesn’t make you happy and I agree but man I will put up with a lot if I’m paid enough. I call it the greed plan.
S1 got so interested in open source coding while in UG that he was doing it for a company (for free) at the expense of his grades, as it turned out. OTOH, it landed him his dream job. He loves what he does and does put in extra time outside of the office, but he doesn’t consider it work. He doesn’t see himself changing companies for quite a while. He is not the entrepreneurial sort (which is a shame, as he has the talent for it), but I can see him going up the ladder.
One of my brothers was always interested in art and was very handy with electronics, building things, etc. (Guy built a huge telescope from scratch.) Left college after 1.5 years and went to work doing software and hardware installations, and then other stuff as the economy tanked. When his company went offshore, he qualified for retraining and financial support. Took advantage of it, got two associates degrees with a 4.0, and was hired as a draftsman for a manufacturing company, He says he has the best job in the world – he gets to draw, play on the computer designing parts with cool software, and he gets to build things. Dream come true. He did all of this in his 40s. It is never too late!
I don’t think working for a company is necessarily a bad thing. Entrepreneurship can be great if you have the backing but that doesn’t always pan out. Our kids are both bright and doing interesting things but we just don’t have the extra cash to support the level of entrepreneurship that some startups require.
sevmom, DH and I are definitely “company” people – no problems with that concept. This S is in a field where entrepreneurial skills could be very well rewarded, but he knows himself well enough to realize it’s not his thing at this point, even though he has pieces that would be very attractive to some start-ups.
I know what you mean, CD. S1 stayed in his first job out of college for 5 years. He just got his first evaluation at his new company and got a nice bonus and more shares in the company, so I expect he will stay there for awhile. S2 is going to be leaving his job of almost 2 years to go with a brand new company and will have shares in that. I am a little nervous but he will still be drawing a salary and he is not looking to us to fund him in any way. His brother thinks it’s a good idea and told me it was good for him to do this while he was young, unmarried with no children and also felt he was still very employable and wouldn’t have trouble finding a job if this new venture didn’t work out. So, we’ll see.
sevmom, in addition to financing a startup, there is often significant anxiety with being an entrepreneur, especially early on. Now, I no longer have that particular anxiety. Plus, you have to exert a lot of energy to motivate others and get them to see that your vision is good for them. I still deal with the latter.
RM, the behavioral economics literature says that money does buy happiness, when starting from 0 up to something that is probably lower-middle class incomes (I can’t remember, plus middle class incomes in much of the country are probably lower middle class in the city where I live). Beyond that level, studies do not show that people who have higher incomes are happier.
Sevmom and Shaw, my deceased stepdad’s birthday was yesterday too! He was very good to me so I always feel like celebrating a little on March 5 to remember him
Shaw - I will typically put up with a lot if I’m paid adequately. With our FANTASTIC 1 - 1.5 percent raises over the last 5 years I don’t really feel that I’m paid adequately anymore. Hence my being dissatisfied with my current position. My standard of living has been impacted - so for me it would make me at least more tolerant if I was paid more. That being said I don’t think money buys happiness at my level but boy there is so much I could do that might make it more pleasurable.
S is currently waiting on house closing. D is feeling a bit more flush with her income from buying the house 6 months ago so is starting to consider some home improvements. For us – basically in a wait mode for H’s arm to heal. All is going well but it is a 6 month healing.
I just joined an online knit-a-long. We are making a mystery blanket. 9 colors, 4 pattern blocks that are released over the course of 4 months and then there will be a release of how to connect them all together. You do each pattern in each color. I’m doing 2 blankets. First square was difficult as there were a couple of stitches that I had never done before (knitting since I was 10 but yup - something different) but now I’m on a role. I have taken to shutting my door and knitting at lunch (good therapy for dealing with my boss as this brings down my blood pressure and gives me a chance to do something else) and then knitting in the evening. Currently on my 3rd block. Hopefully I’ll have time this weekend to do more. I’m curious to see what this is going to look like when we are finished!
Good Morning! We got 7 inches of snow yesterday (I was able to work from home) and it was just beautiful at 6AM when I walked the dog. It was also 10 degrees outside.
I have been following the salary discussions here with great interest having been on both sides of the issue. In my past life when I was a director I had a staff member who expected a lot for performing a little. OTOH, I am now in a situation where I am still (except for very small raises) compensated (and titled) as I was when I started 6 1/2 years ago. My responsibilities are now that of someone 2 levels up from what I supposedly am.And I have gotten consistently top reviews. So, yeah, I am not happy about this. And yes, management knows I am not happy about this. I think the “women don’t ask for raises” is an overused excuse and certainly not true of me. But I also love what I do, like my boss and coworkers and don’t want to start over somewhere else at my age.
Good Morning! Interesting discussion. New son-in-law is definitely an entrepreneur at heart. He started his own sports related company when he was in high school that has paid for his college and helped with the down payment for a house at the age of 23. D2 is the more conservative company employee. SIL also has a corporate job but I know he will leave as soon as he develops another company idea for him to run. With his ADHD he just isn’t made to sit at a desk all day. D2 didn’t leave work until 10:45 last night. Tax season is crazy! Her firm seems to take care of the employees by having free food available and subsidizing overtime parking. They are both hard workers.
I had book club last night. We chose an old classic, Five Smooth Stones, to discuss. Very interesting to go back and read this and do some comparison with the current racial tensions surrounding Ferguson and such. The conversation was intelligent and had many re-examining personal values. I love it when we find a book that pushes all of us to dig deep.
RM…your quilt sounds fun! I scrapbook for fun but am starting to be interested in woodworking.
Moda…How are you doing? We are missing you! Please check in.
