Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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Sending good, calming vibes to c_q D.

RM, your work on the christening gown is the type of thing I thought I would do in my adult life. Maybe there is still time for me to get back into sewing. The detachable skirt is a fabulous idea. So few people sew these days. I admire you!

School is going well for Son. Not straight As but As and Bs.

For only the second time, we had to file an extension on our taxes. I should be ashamed of myself, not being able to get everything to the accountant on time, in my first year of empty nestdom. All those years with three kids at home, a longer commute and I still got it all in. Somehow I don’t care.

I am still trying to get myself in a good frame of mind for this phase of my life. When I hear the younger working mothers talk about all that is on their plates, my first tendency is to feel guilty, I need to get to where I feel victorious, and like a positive example for them - I made it through it all!

When my generation of lawyers started having kids, we were the first in large law firms to do so. I think Son was the 4th kid born to a female lawyer in the firm. We use to keep count. I was also the first in the firm to have three kids. Now, there are constantly multiple pregnant attorneys, quite a few have three kids and one has four. The thing is, they are like teenagers (“you were never my age.”) I guess it’s human nature. None of the younger ones seem to look to us empty nesters for advice…they give each other advice, but it’s as if we older women didn’t do it first. It doesn’t bother me a lot - just interesting to think about. (Also wonderful that they are so open about pumping after returning from maternity leave and how we legally now have to have a space available for it. We who pumped way back when were super secretive.)

Anyway, I am trying to encourage and embrace the position of Respected Elder.

As a marginally related aside, yesterday I received a “Soft Surroundings” catalog, which appears to be an Old Lady Line of Clothes (even though the models were young.) They probably got my name from the AARP mailing list. Anyway, I was horrified that I thought the clothes were cute and think it’s wonderful that their clothes have to pass the “soft” test.

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MP - I think you would be surprised. My attorney S just retired and before doing so she lamented that she may not have been the role model she was hoping to be for the junior women under her. Much to her surprise, she received a bushel of letters form the ‘younger generation’ thanking her for showing the way and being a mentor to them.

roch mom - the dress sounds lovely!
And cq - best karma to your daughter!!

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I have been an empty nester for well - 6 years now. D came back briefly - 4 months until she found her job which these days is nothing. Both kids now have their own houses, paying a mortgage and on their own - although they are local and we do help with home stuff from time to time when they need us to help fix something.

I love having time to do my “own” thing after work. I’ve been also fairly good about not filling the time with work which I know that some people do but not what I want to do. Love to knit, sew, cook, decorate, and garden. I now have time for it. Now I will say that I don’t like to clean but my house is cleaner. :slight_smile:

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H and I were just talking about how empty the house feels since D1 and her dog are at the new BF’s house more often than here. We had been used to the empty nest until D2 came back while in grad school and then D1 after the divorce. We definitely need to find something to occupy our evenings. H is thinking he wants to get serious about biking. That’s not for me but I will continue to get the house ready for retirement by making sure all the big expense maintenance issues are complete. I have given myself a four year plan. Our house and neighborhood is just about 30 years old so I am preparing for new windows, roof and furnace. We already remodeled bathrooms, kitchens and lower level. My current project is the deck and hardwood floors. I hope I can stay focused and on task :wink: I need kmc’s ability to move forward!

H and I always thought we would stay in this house until we couldn’t. Now we are having second thoughts. I have “closed” two of the bedrooms and one of the bathrooms upstairs as no one ever goes in them. My formal living room is sitting empty as I gave away the furniture and haven’t missed using that room so I have delayed replacing the furniture in there. We were going to install a composite deck but H has changed his mind with that as he doesn’t think we should invest in that if we aren’t staying after retirement. I think we will now do cedar. I guess I am in a funk over this big empty nest!

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Well 2 of my bedrooms still have the kids stuff in them - no furniture just stuff. They are slowly (and I’m hoping to speed this along) getting their “stuff” OUT. I want to make them both up in to spare rooms so if friends/family want to come and stay with us. We have never really used our formal living room except for parties. I would love to just take the wall down and make a nice large family room however it’s a load bearing wall so a bit more money would need to be put into it than I want to. All bathrooms to some extent get used still (powder room, master bath, and main 2nd floor bathroom). I like having the space so I don’t see us downsizing anytime soon. I’m in the process now of trying to talk H into putting a sun room on the family room and moving the deck back 12 feet. He doesn’t want to do it. :slight_smile: Sigh… The 4th and smaller bedroom we made into a TV/sitting room a few years ago. Nice and cozy place for H and I to watch TV - or one of us to go and watch TV/read a book when we don’t like what the other one is watching in the family room (he he).

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All three of the kids’ bedrooms are still packed with their stuff. And of course, in about 3 weeks younger D will be home for the summer.
Our house was built in 86, so also going on 30 years. I am the original homeowner but no $ to update (in Texas you pretty much never have to replace an old roof because there are frequent enough hailstorms to take care of that.)

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Well, I think i just committed to having about 20 people over to my house a week from Friday. My outdated, small, not all that clean house. I need to just swallow my pride and do this. (Before you say you are sure my house isn’t terrible, some of these folks live in FABULOUS houses.)

Here’s the deal. I started to get in touch with some of the moms from older D’s HS class. One, who battled cancer a few years ago, recently received the news that it had metastasized to her brain. She is terrific and very upbeat but is beginning very intense treatment. She really wants to see “the gang” so I sent an invitation without any idea of the response and without a thought to the location. The response has been terrific (not due to the cancer; most folks don’t know.) Most of our Ds are graduating soon and I think we all agree that it’s been too long.

I can’t really ask any of then to host “my” party. Actually, there is one mom that I would normally ask, but she is still weak from her own cancer treatment. We could go to a restaurant, but then you end up all sitting at long tables and not getting to talk to everyone.

SO, very reluctant hostess here is going to dive in. I know I would just feel horrible if my friend got really sick and the get together didn’t happen because I was worried about being judged by the Moms Who Live in Mansions.

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Just remember Missy they are coming to see you and each other. Not your house and I’m sure that your house is fine!

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And cater from somewhere easy.
Housekeeper comes that day.
Laundry baskets get filled with this and that ( just do not forget the bag of bills you put in the office corner)
All doors to private rooms get closed. A few bouquets of flowers and really what else is there to do?
Everyone will be so happy to be together. I never notice/care about someone’s house as long as they seem happy to have us.

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MP I think congrats are in order and it is great for PieSon that she is committed to him. (I assume it is great for her as well).

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It will be fine, missypie. I’m glad you are all getting together.

Received an email from D - evidently she forgot to tell me she’s postponed the GMAT until May. So thanks for the good thoughts, we just need to channel them for later.

She received tickets thru work for the Joffrey Ballet Spring Gala tomorrow night… She’s going with her bf and is thrilled (former ballerina). Bought an evening gown for the event!

The training today got done ridiculously early (I was just observing, so it’s not my fault) so I had time to tour Graceland today. It was fun.

oregon101, tell us about your trip! I hope it was wonderful.

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Gosh c_q, I want to work at your D’s office.

MP it will be great just for everyone to be together. I like oregon’s suggestions. (and how was Italy, btw?)

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Good morning! Kudos to all kiddos on exciting work and romance news.

Don’t worry, missy, it will be fine! Oregon pretty much nailed it :wink: You’ll be so glad you set aside the time to reconnect. I still get together with a group of “parents” from mcson’s HS days. My favorites all seem to have kids far afield (eg in Africa, LA, etc.) so we actually do some holidays, like Easter together. I’m really glad now that I’ve kept up the connection.

Besides, if the weather’s nice, can’t you make it a poolside affair? It seems my fellow pool-forum people in TX are all opening their pools about now :wink: IME, people forgive a lot of housekeeping habits it you stick them by the pool :wink:

This year, I ended up with 12 for dinner at Easter, which at first I thought would never work because I’m already in that downsized-for-retirement house. Our mid-century style glass dining room table is a generous size, but since I have no formal dinning room, it takes up a good swath of the family room. I ended up adding another table to it to for an L-shape and it worked out just fine.

NM, that cedar will probably last as long as the composite so I think you have lots of time to decide whether you want to downsize or stay! Personally, I’ve opted for the “rustic” deck look-feel now that I’ve discovered olympic’s truly good deck washing combo of I suspect bleach and lye.

I am jealous of you doing floors. I need a major floor makeover here in mcDeath house but I don’t have the wherewithal to deal with dismantling the aquarium, the shower stall, and moving all the furniture out. So I’m saving that project until I really can’t stand it anymore! Besides, what I really want on those floors is something crazy like flagstone – completely indoor/outdoor in feel and function. Mch thinks I’m nuts…but really, the hallway, bath, kitchen and family room in question are a giant loop from the pool for me :wink: So I’d prefer something waterproof, honed, not slippery, and that hides all dirt…and maybe even leaves, which get tracked into the house a lot it seems. So medieval stone floors would fill the bill :wink:

I’ve decided to make the notion of an “indoor-outdoor” house fashionable :wink: That is how I deal with my general lack of especially good housekeeping skills. People always seem comfortable enough here and seem to keep coming back, so I think a good scotch and a good cut of meat make up for any other shortcomings in finesse :wink:

So, my not-slate kitchen counters go in today. Yay. Hope I like em. Enjoy your weekends and remind me to report on mch’s hilarious stereo shenanigans (no, the giant magnapan speakers are NOT retiring, even though the 70s called and want 'em back :wink: )

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^^^ Speaking of slate, kmc – we have 12" x 6" slate tiles in the entry of our house at the beach. It’s great! We also had a honed top made of the same slate for the table in the breakfast nook. Also great. We discovered that not all slate is the same – some scratches a lot. Ours is from a vein of slate that runs through VT and is apparently harder than slate from other places.

mp – I agree with what everyone else had said. The most important thing is you’re all getting together. Your S’s video sounds like a great idea.

Sooooo … my check-up is all good, except my platelet count is a little low. Doc wants me back in 3 weeks for another blood test. I have no idea what that’s all about. Also, I got a shingles shot, which is recommended for those of us “of a certain age.” I’m having some reactions to it – redness, swelling, warmth at the shot site. It should go away, but it’s somewhat annoying at the moment.

shaw – I’m not sure I’d survive your normal schedule! I’m actually OK with very early mornings, but then I fade at night.

RM – I made D’s christening dress since I couldn’t find anything I liked. I altered the pattern a little, but nothing major. When S came along, I had no time to make something, so we used the outfit MIL had made for SIL’s first boy. What you’re doing sounds wonderful; a family heirloom for sure.

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I’m trying to make it “generic” but there will be lace. :slight_smile:

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Closets and drawers are empty in the girls’ rooms but we have way too many of their things in the garage and basement storage.

Missy…all of the neighbors have had their roofs replaced due to hail damage but we must have a magical bubble over ours because ours never seems to have damage!

RM…I love my sun room/four season porch!

D2 is excited and nervous today. They have their closing on their house at 10:00 today! I bought a big bucket and filled it with cleaning supplies and will bring it over to the house with some pizza to celebrate later today. They have their apartment until the end of May so they won’t move until they do painting and some small projects. They only have their bedroom and family room furniture so the house will be pretty empty!

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Edit: Somehow none of today’s comments showed up before I wrote the above!

Missy… How wonderful that you are hosting! Don’t worry about your house. Getting together with fun and interesting people will make the event. Be kind to yourself.

oregon…are you home??? How was the trip??? Missed you!

CBB…ouch! Take care of yourself. Let us know how the platelet situation resolves.

cq…I am so happy for your D!

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c_q, good karma never hurts, whether you’re taking the GMAT or not. Older D is in NYC right now. The original trip was for two of her roommates to apartment hunt (they both already have jobs there.) But then D asked to tag along and now it seems to have morphed into a shopping trip.

I am crossing my fingers that the crowd can go outside next Friday night. The patio was really designed so we could flow in and out from doors in two different spots in the house. But the mosquitoes have already come out so we’ll see.

I was raised Baptist; it’s a denomination that doesn’t believe in infant baptism.By the time Son came along we were Presbyterian. We put him on the list for baptisms as soon as he was born in January, and at the time there was such a baby boom that his slot wasn’t until July. Keep in mind that he was 11 pounds at birth, so by 6 months he was huge, and crawling. I went to a large baby store and bought the only little boy baptism outfit that they had in an XL.

I think I was 26 when I bought my first house. I was in college when my parents bought their first house.

My floors are kind of tiles that cause the people on HGTV to shudder at how outdated they are and vow to replace them as their #2 priority (after getting rid of the popcorn ceiling.) If you are nostalgic for 1986, get on the bus and come by.

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We still have 1960s tiles in the laundry room and basement! I’d bet they have asbestos, which is why they are still in place. Not ready to deal with removal.

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CBB, I am jealous of your good Vermont slate and your proximity to it :wink: I couldn’t find anyone here in the Midwest who would fabricate a solid honed counter for me out of it, though I know its done – I almost ordered it straight from the quarry, but then with shipping and trouble finding someone to custom fabricate it etc. it just turned out it way too much to rationalize for my little walk-thru galley kitchen so I cheaped out and went with a laminate :wink:

It is easier to find Vermont slate tile for flooring (which is a way I might go one day) and for roofing.

BUT man, does this particular laminate look good! I am very surprised how well it turned out. Its called oiled soapstone by wilsonart…very large pattern, eg only repeats every five feet, and with a 1/8th style very slightly curved ledge, it actually makes the counters look like slab. I had them make the backsplash as a separate piece so it would look again more lie soapstone slab than pre-fab laminate counter. It helps that we also installed a black granite sink and a nice new spray-style faucet, which together cost as much as the counter fabrication and definitely give the job a more modern appearance …as they say, its all in the accessories, eh? :wink:

Our handy guy/contractor couldn’t believe how good it looked vs how little it cost :wink: I predict he’ll be putting it in everybody’s kitchen now! And it was literally less than a quarter of the cost of soapstone. So I’m very happy with my bargain kitchen counter facelift, and happy with the fun money I have left over.

NM, congrats to D2 on her new home. You and RM get to have such fun. I predict it’ll be a while til mcson gets up to that kind of permanency. At this point, he’s “re-upped” his contract with us for a year, but we’ll see after that whether the wanderlust gets him or not.