<p>That’s it. If each little setback affects the player so much, is the sport worth it? I am not saying to necessarily quit, but if the stress and the uncertainty, and the affect playing the sport has and being part of the program, and not all programs are created equally when it comes to support, friends, etc, when the negative is more than the positive experience, I think its time to move on. Acaemics come first and many manage to do both, but it doesn’t mean that if one can’t do both, that person is any less. It just means the system in place is not a good one for the student.</p>
<p>ps- i wuoldn’t have wanted my kid to go to college based on a sports scholarship. too much can go wrong.</p>
<p>To me, there are two kinds of “negatvie texts” the OMG how can this happen to me yet again, and the “what a jerk he was and guess I better find classmates to figure out what I missed, this is such a pain in the behind” negatvity.</p>
<p>The difference is in # 1, its all whiney and helpless, in the second its powerful and angry, which is okay.</p>
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<p>I don’t think any of us virutal friends know if the negative is more than the positive experience. I think there are some situations that entitle people to vent, whether it’s the ridiculous lines at the DMV, waiting at the doctor’s office for two hours only to find out that the doctor isn’t there, having a flight cancelled, or otherwise. We don’t leave the DMV without getting our license renewed, but aren’t we entitled to a little rant when the experience is over? Venting in an appropriate matter helps us to release the negative energy that has built up.</p>
<p>ilovetoquilt22 I think we will just have to agree to disagree.</p>
<p>You got it missypie…I believe things have improved since she got in to her own place. D1 says she is fine. Said there are lots of pics on fb of all the fun D2 had during orientation. The burning of her dorm, loss of roommate, campus suicide, and now profs not responding has absolutely nothing to do with her sport.</p>
<p>cpeltz…yeah, she will get it figured out. Thanks!</p>
<p>northminn–all the situations that have occurred for your d are certainly a lot for any student to deal with. its just plain hard when they are far away and they are struggling, upset, etc. —in all likelihood things will work themselves out and she will come thru just fine. but it isn’t easy for you…</p>
<p>Hey Northminn - {{{{HUGS}}}}!!
Does anyone here remember Berurah(sp?) She gave the best virtual hugs at just the right time…</p>
<p>I think I’m having the hardest time of just not knowing what DD is doing. Where she is, who her new friends are, etc. I always knew where she was and who she was with. It’s so strange not to know.
But she is happy and keeping up with schoolwork and having a good time.
We will see her in 2 weeks for Parents Weekend. Can’t wait. I am really ready to see her and hug her and smell her hair…you get the drift.</p>
<p>More virtual ((((hugs))) to you NM. I know you and your family made the right decision for your daughter. With the great support network she has, she will do just fine. </p>
<p>Each one of us here has a situation that is different, but we all share a deep love for our children and a desire for them to succeed as they begin this new phase in their lives. All of us are going through a change in our lives also and are here to vent, rant, share the excitement, laugh, and commiserate. There are times I feel like I post too much about the little highs and lows of having my first child begin college. I think I must be boring you all, and then the next thing I know someone else is posting something similar. It helps me to know I’m not going through this alone. I enjoy your posts and learn from each of them, even the ones that are pretty off target and unnecessary.</p>
<p>eddieodessa – agree on the not knowing part…</p>
<p>NM and others – as a prof, it is good to be reminded how things come across to students. On the one hand, many profs go out of their way to be helpful, and I’m glad your D has experienced some of them. </p>
<p>On the other hand, students also need to remember that it is really hard to treat every student as an exception. If one has to answer anywhere from 20-200 emails about a missed class, or needed syllabus, it’s obviously not going to happen. Still, in this day and age, one might think that a class could easily have been notified by mass email of a change in schedule/meeting time/place. </p>
<p>In any case, it will get easier in coming years as she’s got the system wired.</p>
<p>Not to sound like a broken record, but anybody heard from LasMa??</p>
<p>I hear you Zetesis! I told her it was her responsibility, not the profs, to get that syllabus in her hand. I guess I wasn’t as sympathetic as she wanted me to be. ;)</p>
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<p>Well said, rrah.</p>
<p>Both of my kids started classes today. I am actually more worried about my eighth grade S than D (for a number of reasons). So that’s one way cope with this. On the other hand, we have been fortunate that (so far) things have gone smoothly for D. I feel for all of you (and your kids) for whom this has not been an easy transition.</p>
<p>NM hope things work out for your D. At least for the fall D’s meets are all on the weekend so she won’t miss any classes. Lucky for her. Not sure once indoor track starts. I don’t know their schedule yet. </p>
<p>It’s got to be just difficult for your D. She is in a new place where so much has happened before she even landed there. Now she is trying to navigate a new system and college professors are not always that interested in the freshmen and helping them out. Hopefully she will learn to navigate the system quickly for her sake (and perhaps for you as well!!).</p>
<p>Best thoughts going your way…</p>
<p>Transition seems to be going well for D. She hasnt had a grades back yet but seems happy. meeting friends has a plan for fun and homework. I dont think there is a rule about how much you should talk to your kid, clearly if they are depending on you and not transitioning thats one thing, but if they want to vent or ask advice so be it. I talk to my D everyday even if briefly. I told her I need to have an email or text or something to know that she is ok. she has been generous with her descriptions and I admit it is hard to not know what her life is like now, but I get a general idea. Sometimes she talks to her sister and that is ok too. Where is it written that you send our kid to college and you cant talk to them? I think it is about boundries. Its wrong to try to run their life from home. If you get that vibe then back off a little, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to know how they are. It may be what I am dealing with right now, but it helps me to know she is safe. she knows that and just lets me know, and in return i dont pry.</p>
<p>downtoearth—I echo your sentiments. we are all finding our way as parents as our kids are as college students, young adults…parenting is an art, not a science. not only are each of our kids different, but so are each of us. </p>
<p>deja–congrats on your launch. sounds like it went smoothly. my s was one of the sophomores helping the freshmen move in. isn’t it a nice move in process they have!</p>
<p>I appreciate the texts, and pictures of d w two roomies, and view from my s’s room…and the calls we have had every couple days. hearing from them and receiving the updates on all fronts helps to know they are really okay in their new homes…</p>
<p>It’s exam time next week already at S2’s school, three of which hit on the same day next Tuesday (chem, calc, and bio). Today he had a group project to figure out how many basketballs it would take to fill up the inside of the school’s coliseum. He called around and found the person who had the blueprints with the dimensions of the coliseum and figured it out on his own. He said he will check in and see what the group came up with but thought it was easier to just do it himself. It doesn’t sound like he is “playing well with others.” Of course, it’s easier to do yourself, but I’m sure the group stuff was an important part of that assignment. He was also sent home from chemistry lab for wearing shorts but said he changed and went back to finish, so that sounds OK. </p>
<p>NM, I’ve been impressed by how well your D appears to be coping with a lot of stresses.</p>
<p>Today was a good day. But first I want to comment on something said about playing sports in college. There is much more to playing a sport than the physicality and talent of it. Sometimes the most important thing it teaches you is perseverance and endurance. “You miss 100% of the shots you never take” kind of thing. No, it’s not for everyone, but neither is choir or band. And while not physical, I know lots of musicians who devote just as much time to their instrument. I do think it’s hard when you have to miss class and is why DIII was a better fit to my son. Not that he couldn’t miss a class, but he’d HATE missing a class. </p>
<p>I think its perfectly fine to complain about feeling unprepared. NMN - your D will learn quickly what professors support athletes and those who don’t. Plus, I assume she is at a big school and so her lectures are going to be huge. If she has a recitation section, her best bet would be to buddy up to that TA to be her contact for the mundane. </p>
<p>And speaking of which, I texted son saying that if I had enough information in which to feel satisfied that he was doing well, I wouldn’t feel the need to contact him so much. My older D called him today and I guess he bit her head off too. But she managed to convey to him that all he really needed was to throw me a bone.</p>
<p>And then he finally called. But…the stress in his voice made me understand why he hadnt called before. He really likes his classes (even though he’s only one day in), he really likes his roommates, but (and here’s the rub), he has been feeling really inferior on the field. Somethng completely foreign. Now… is he correct in this assumption? I don’t know and told him as much. He hurt his knee and so he feels that he hasn’t even been able to show the coaches what he can do. End of the story is that it’s hard to come from being the cream at the top, to being in an entire cup full of cream - on the fields and in the classroom. That he was hurt and never told me is bothering me, but I could tell that by the time we were done talking he felt a little lighter. And I told him that i know he’s going to do great, but that no one is expecting perfection out of the gate. It’s an adjustment and everyone is going to have their issues, even if they seem to not have any.</p>
<p>Ended with an apology and an I love you. so I am good - at least for a day!</p>
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<p>yes, that’s it exactly –</p>
<p>One short note here and there hardly makes up for the regular contact we were used to, but it does help for a little while. </p>
<p>I’m wishing I could know more about D’s first day of class, I’m hoping she’ll give me a bit more info in the next couple of days.</p>
<p>As the mother of an only child I just dropped off in Boston on Saturday for college, I’m so glad to see this thread. It’s reassuring to see how others are coping without their little darlings around! I’ll write more later; right now I have to find his birth certificate for his campus job. Even though he’s not all that communicative (especially when there is an issue…) it sounds like he’s handling everything well so far - new city, new roomate, new school & faculty, getting his food & getting a job. He really looked happy on Sunday when I took his uncle to visit him; glad to see he’s in the right place for him. I’m impressed (so far)! Somehow this birth certificate is not in the file where I thought it was; a good excuse to clean out my files, but a lot of work!</p>
<p>My point was that your daughter herself needs to think about her sport and her commitment and the problems she is encountering.</p>
<p>What I was trying to say was NM D needs to see that she is going to run into these messes alot, because of her sport and she can complain, but can’t let it affect her as NM alluded to.</p>
<p>I never meant to suggest D quit now, if she is working it out, but in general if there is more negative than positive with any activity, than one should move on. </p>
<p>There is nothing to disagree about. I am just saying that if NM Ds sport is creating more problems, difficulty in attending classes, dealing with professors, etc, is ones education worth the risk for a sport. i just don’t think so.</p>
<p>My Ds were in gymnastics, for awhile. It was great. However, it reached a point where it became unhealthy, stressful and caused more stress than it was worth. We moved on. Nothing wrong with that.</p>