My D1 is very independent and my fear is she will leave me out of the loop, of course except for the money. She is great but doesn’t always think.
RM right up your alley you will have it down in no time.
School has been very helpful in understanding the elderly, their focus is on legacy and independence. It is seems contrary when your mother having accomodations for her sight will help her be independent, but they want to do it their own way. Although it seems that they need help, they are very oppositional to the way in which it is offered. I am sure MP you are very diplomatic but there are some books out there on dealing with this issue. My mother stubbornly refuses to get her knee replaced although it affects every aspect of her quality of life. I am sure she afraid of the surgery but she has put it off for 10 years. Its hard because I dont want to push her to do it and something happens, I just think when my knee goes I am doing something about it.
Weddings will fall mostly in ShawWife’s hands. Hard for me to think about and very hard for me to manage detail.
Is the alcohol issue whether there is an open bar or not? We had an elegant outdoor wedding with lots of people (many more than we wanted but we gave up over time). I don’t think there was an open bar but wine and champagne were freely available.
ShawWife is very frugal on many things (but not all). On Bar Mitzvahs, we spent a lot less than many other people as we didn’t do what everyone else seemed to do. ShawD is also generally frugal, while ShawSon does not spend money but when he does, he doesn’t really think about the level.
I’d rather take all of the money spent on food/wine etc. and help the kids with the downpayment on a house, but that will never fly.
No, the alcohol issue is that we know a great place that serves very authentic New Orleans style food (Katrina refugees) It is truly a hidden gem. Thought it would be a great rehearsal dinner site. But it is owned by an African American Baptist minister, so no alcohol, not even BYO. I posted a question about it in the Cafe.
Speaking of alcohol, can an invisible waiter from the invisible bus bring me an invisible flask? At least when I am old and drive my kids to drink, I’ll allow alcohol in my house.
hmmm, would they cater? Could you find a different room or a friends home and cater? Offering my home!
Do you not allow alcohol now?
One of my “bonding” activities with DIL (now 22) is to make her different cocktails (things I will not drink as girlie and sweet). She loves it! Also, when we take them to dinner she tells me to help her order a drink. My rule is that if she does not like it she does not need to drink it. Money no issue for a drink. (DIL’s are tough to navigate and this seems to be an arena she likes). That said, I have stuff in my liquor closet that are for this type of drink and I have no idea what to do with enless I have a recipie.
So…guess we will provide a huge! flask! Let me know when to send it!
Need ideas. Every year I host a dinner party for friends around Christmas. This year the day it is on is one of my best friends (who will be coming) birthday. She is NOT a sweets person. I would like to figure out a way to set up some sort of appetizer that is a birthday “cake”/ Any ideas? Thanks!
Does she dig appetizers? How about something like a truffle/mushroom mousseline, moulded into cubes, with something like a cherry-fennel compote glaze? That dish “looks like” a dessert and is divine…but not sweet 
KMC - that to me sounds WONDERFUL. She is an appetizer person. Not big into mushrooms but I could maybe go with that idea and figure out something. We are doing “Italian” this year as a theme so sort of want to stick with that. My plan originally before I figured out the date for our get together was to just put out a charcuterie and be done but now I may need to rethink that…
My mom doesn’t drink. If I were to bring alcohol into her house she would be convinced that I was an alcoholic.
RM: what about a cheese/pesto/pine nut/sundried tomato torta? Layer in round dish to mold. Can even add a candle or two! 
Here is an example: http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/pesto-and-sun-dried-tomato-torte/0f3cb1f0-4fd4-4199-a1aa-3343623bda3f
When short on time I have bought torta from the store. Many flavors available. I have used this one:http://www.gourmet-food.com/gourmet-chocolate/key-lime-cheese-torta-103001.aspx
RM, am having serious machine envy! That looks like you could quilt a large piece on it. (I will do up to crib size on mine). Larger than that and I rent time on the long arm at the quilt shop. What embroidery software does it take? I have 6D, which I suspect limits me to VIkings unless I go whole hog.
My former boss has offered me a consulting gig. Am seriously considering it, but I think I would have to use some of the $$ to bring in someone to help me keep up with housework. DH is terribly opposed to a housecleaner, but doesn’t do any of it himself.
Not 100% sure on the SW yet. Most everything is built in from what I can see. You can take different embroideries and put them next to each other, resize (to a degree) and what I like best is that it can remember one place that you left off so I can start an embroidery stop it and have it remember where I was. As long as I don’t take it out of the hoop you can then at a later time put it back. I’m looking forward to playing with it hopefully later this weekend! There are some SW packages on the pfaff website but I’m not going into them yet until I see what this can do. Viking is another good brand but I don’t know of a local store that carries them. One caries elna and one pfaff.
Good morning. Just askin for a bit of zen mojo so I can get myself to a place to roll some melt-in-your-mouth gnocchi this morning. Since I am ham-fisted, I have to treat the dough like its a neutron bomb to achieve this delicate balance.
May the lack of force be with me Hi ho!
Missy, I am sending you imaginary, 18-yr-old Glen Morangie to get you through your dry spell.
Come to think of it, perhaps a wee sip would relax me for my first maybe-future-in laws-vegetarian-early-thankgiving cooking fiesta
Good luck kmc! Hoping the cooking fairies do their magic for you!
kmc, your menu sound lovely.
Here is a great appetizer:
snap peas
toss with toasted sesame oil
sprinkle black sesame sead on the top
serve
I alway try to have a frozen back up, just in case. Trader Joes has a yummy Spinich Kale frozen entree.
Buy two.
That advice aside please save some leftovers for us!
Beware, rant ahead!
Yesterday H, D, her fiancé, and I drove down to RI to look at a few venues. It should have been a happy time; it wasn’t. H was in a HORRIBLE funk the entire time, after D said they hadn’t worked out where the actual ceremony will be – church or not. D (& S) were raised Catholic – H is Catholic; I’m not. D’s fiancé was not raised attending any church. Now H is convinced D has lost her faith; is going to he_ _ in a hand basket; we’ve failed as parents, etc., etc. I don’t believe ANY of this. H hardly spoke the entire day. When the 2 of us got home he said he was glad they were looking at a 2017 wedding since “a lot can happen before then and I hope they break up.” I am beyond heartbroken. He’s going to risk alienating his daughter over this? This from someone who didn’t get married in a Catholic church himself since he was married previously?? (And who, technically, in the eyes of the Catholic church, isn’t even married to me since he didn’t get an annulment.) I don’t understand where this is coming from. If his parents were still alive I know they would embrace D’s fiancé and welcome him into the family – just as they did to me.
OK, rant over. Sorry to be drag down this thread. Hope dinner went well, kmc.
Good morning.
CBB, it sounds like your H is working through some big, unresolved stuff. Happens to the best of them Does he have a sane, supportive friend he can talk to (that isn’t you…you have a dog in this race because you’re worried about the bonds with D)? Or even a priest? Or maybe a therapist, if he’ll go?
Man-o-pause is every bit as not fun as meno, IMHO
Thanks all for the fairy dust for the zen cooking but while the company was outstanding and the evening enjoyable, the fairies must have gotten into the gin on the way here
My cooking did not meet my standard despite a valiant effort. It was “close” to being right, but just not right…things happened to the gnocchi that shouldn’t have (it kinda imploded under the veggies to form something like nutmeg mashed potatoes) veggies did not cook evenly enough despite my cooking time manipulations, and while the stuffing in the squash was divine, it ended up getting served cooler than it should have.
Next time I’m going to do a veggie lasagna for a much less stressful prep Because believe me, the prep was riddiculous for the outcome in this case. I will happily embark on culinary adventures and I truly don’t mind a fail here or there (its how you get GOOD) but I don’t think I’ll ever set myself up with so many moving parts in terms of novelty again, and I think I will absolutely test out a menu more (there were flaws IMHO with the recipe instructions) before unleashing it on guests
I will also never serve gnocchi again unless its in a sauce that can suspend it for reheat right at dinner time. The gnocchi was beautiful, fluffy, light and delicious before it got beat up by the root vegetables…it would have been divine in a tomato fennel broth with the root veggies on the side. So, I learned a lot!
Culinary debaucle aside, we had a really nice time, enjoyed the maybe-future-in laws enormously, and all agreed to do it again
Oh, I’m sorry, CBB.
I need to figure out Thanksgiving dinner. I already ordered a deep fried turkey, per S’s request. I miss showing up at my in-laws with everything taken care of. Trying to figure out what to get already made, and what to make myself, due to limitations of time, space and ability. I have one refrigerator and one oven; my in-laws have 2 of each which would help immensely!
I’m sorry, CBB. Perhaps your H will come to accept this as time passes. Hopefully so.
kmc- I’m betting that you are the only one who was unsatisfied with the dinner and that everyone else loved it. 
c_q - Do you have a crock pot that can be put into service? A few years ago when our upper oven (since replaced) caught fire on Thanksgiving AM, we cooked the dressing in the crock pot. Although we have 2 ovens (usually) H insists on a lot of sides so we wind up making several ahead including the pumpkin pies and then reheating.
I am sorry CBB. My H has reacted in ways I didn’t expect in relation to my children;s significant others. Particulary D1 now 3 year live in boyfriend. While thank goodness he likes him, he is quickly to over react to a situation that he perceives might be hurtful to her. (minor) I have had some conversations with him about this. I have a shut my mouth conversation with myself all the time, about my children. I don’t particularly like my daughter’s take on religion and doubt she will get married in a church unless we push it. I try to tell myself it is a process and I have done all I could do, but ultimately it is their life and their choice. I want my D to have a wedding/life that speaks to her not necessarily me. My conversations with my H revolve around long term, it is hard to undo something that ultimately will lead to tension, and future issues. we all have seen this. I have come to appreciate, how my H can be more protective than me (and I am very protective) when it comes to the men in their lives, kind of a daughter/father phenomenon. I am sure Shaw can speak to this, as well as the others who have experience with their children getting married. as always its complicated isn’t it? Try to not let it spoil your excitement and fun time planning her wedding.
All of your food talk makes me envious. The sewing machines are cool but honestly another vocabulary no lo comprende. LOL I always say that my husband cant find his way around Home depot but I am no Martha Stewart either.
CBBB, sorry to hear about your H’s emotional distress. We have raised our kids as Jewish and hope that they will raise Jewish kids, but ShawSon is going out with a Chinese woman who is definitely not Jewish (though apparently she says that Chinese mothers are often quite happy when their daughters marry Jewish men and there are quite a few such couples in Silicon Valley). But, at the core, I want my kid to pick a partner with whom he has a deeply loving, supportive relationship. If she is not Jewish, we’re OK with that as long as we think she will be a good partner for him (and we don’t really have a lot of control over choice of mate).