“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo 2014
Her approach involves implying your feelings about objects to determine if they stay or if they go.
I really hope H reads it. I have always said that if it is buried in a drawer and you do not remember it
is there you might as well go ahead and release it. Also, saving unused good and still in style clothes until
they are out of style does not make sense.
When H is gone next week I am planning on pulling different categories our from around the house and trying her method.
I have clothes that went out of style and are now back in that still fit. 
So yes I’m wearing them again. That being said I have clothes that don’t fit that I still have. Closet hasn’t had a real clean out in 20+ years. Does allow for Halloween costumes though with little effort.
I have things from my childhood that are buried in a draw but I would never part with them. I still have a rocking chair that I got for my first Christmas and my Raggedy Ann doll that I also received from that Christmas. My mother cut off the eyes as they were buttons and she was worried that I would swallow them and still to this day she is missing her buttons and well her apron that has gotten lost at some point in time. Guess I just like to keep things. Still have a bunch of Barbie dolls, kitchen accessories for said dolls and clothes in a case along with some of my hot wheels cars. I was an equal opportunity kid. Loved dolls and trucks. 
Also have a bunch of books from when I was a kid. Bringing them out again for grandkids. My kids also used them so they have gotten some use over the years.
I have old magazines that for sewing, knitting, gardening, and cooking – shelves and shelves of them and yes I still look at them and use them at times. To this day I subscribe to 3 cooking magazines, 2 knitting magazines and a sewing magazine that I just “keep”. I go back to articles, recipes, patterns as I need them. Guess I’m not good about “clean out”.
I do have, as does H, a box or two of childhood stuff. Tons of legos and Play Mobile and so on that is being
handed off to the G’Son or here for visits.
Still, there are so many things in this house that I built with amazing storage that it is time to let go.
I think it will be fun. Especially as I am home alone next week so can just do it without discussion.
I will not get rid of H’s things but there will no doubt be some clothes baskets of things for him to purge.
It is more things like the study shelves with too many notebooks, pens and so on.
Oh, who am I kidding. I really like getting rid of things. I makes me happy.
We all know that my H cannot/ will not get rid of things. We had a small garden in the back yard before we built the pool. We built the pool ten years ago but H is saving the tomato cages…I guess if we ever decide to fill in the pool and plant tomatoes again, we’ll be so happy that we have those 4 rusty tomato cages.
But seriously, his clutter truly bothers me and makes me ubconfortable in our house.
We have too much stuff. I would love to start getting rid of things. I had tons of things I could have given to S2 for his move to Denver , some furniture, in particular, that would be from the same period of the loft he’s renting. But, he didn’t even move any of his own furniture from DC to Denver. He’s starting from scratch.
I feel anxious sometimes at the thought of having to get rid of all the excess stuff. I can’t even imagine how overwhelming it must feel for someone that is truly a hoarder.
My mother is packing up her house and my brother, who has hoarder tendencies, has lots of stuff there. For both of them, it is traumatic, in part because every object has people and memories attached to it. What I am going to start doing is photographing objects and putting the photos in the cloud, which will retain the memory/attachment and then I can get rid of the object.
I like that Shaw. That was how H let go of his HS letter jacket–I took a picture of him in it. After that he could let it go.
That sounds like a good plan but I would let your brother know first that you plan to do that. And give him an opportunity to move his stuff to his own home or to storage before it gets to the point of getting rid of things. It is a stressful process. I helped my sister clear out our family house in March-very modest house but in our family since it was built in 1920. Three generations of stuff and my sister was still living there but had bought a house and was moving. It was about a 1000 square foot house and it still took three weeks of steady activity (purging, donating, sorting, packing,etc.) to get it cleared out , even when no hoarding was involved. That is why I am anxious. I saw how crazy the process was in even a small house. Our house is much larger and we have even more stuff.
Mch’s sister is truly a hoarder (brain injury from accident and I expect there’s a correlation in terms of executive function.)
She’s 12 years his elder and lives in SC. Lets just say I dread the day.
We’ve had to work pretty hard to help control the mch hoarding gene around here. When mcson cleaned out the studio space, he was respectful but merciless Respectful in that he organized several tall, waterproof totes of “important sentimental stuff” that he asked mch to select items for, then stowed them on pallets in the crawl space with stickers of contents. (So that in a few decades hence, he could move them right back out again and know what’s in there.)
Merciless in that he still filled a 20 yard dumpster.
I’ve noticed in the few years since we did the clean out, mch will make a comment when looking for an object “its probably in the crawl space” but then never go and actually look But there’s a ton of space down there, and i think it was a great way to feel like he’d have access to objects otherwise destined for disposal yet have them organized in a way that will someday make it easier to manage - aka estate wise.
In my case, in terms of old extraneous sentimental stuff, there’s an old dresser that belonged to my great aunt I keep in the pool house guest room full of that kind of stuff, and a big credenza in the office/bedroom full of journals etc. that I know mcson is one day dying to read
I could still stand a purge but it helps that in the studio I have an entire second set of kitchen cabinetry…I get away with storing a lot of things I might only use when entertaining a few times a year
I am in a constant state of purging stuff. D is like me and I have gotten H on board after many years. Still working on S. Our next house will be considerably smaller than what we have now and I don’t like clutter.
I actually enjoy getting rid of stuff.
I have a high tolerance for keeping sentimental stuff. But it’s the rusted tomato cages and broken hoola hoops and every cordless and cell phone we’ve ever owned that put me over the edge.
It’s not that I’m attached to the “stuff” for the most part. For me it’s about where do I want to spend what little time i have and it’s not going through stuff to get rid of it. i’ll just cram one more thing in the closet. Well actually I’m at the point where one more thing won’t fit. So I really do need to do an over haul. Not that I car if it goes – just the time it takes to have it go. That being said that is the way that I am with my clothes etc. but with magazines I do like to save them and look at them years later for a pattern. what I really should do is rip out the ones that I might knit/sew and get rid of the actual magazine but I’m worried if I do that then I won’t keep the entire pattern together and when there comes the day that I want to make it I will only have a partial pattern…
Moving several times in the last 10 years has helped/forced me to get on top of “excess stuff.” I’m a pretty organized person, and can’t stand clutter. That said, when the kids were growing up our house had a really decent attic – so “out of sight, out of mind” came into play. When we moved out of that house in 2006, the attic came back to haunt me. Since then I’ve been pretty good about not letting stuff accumulate.
D and I have been to 3 bridal shops. Her favorite dress at the 2 places near Boston ended up being the same dress! As the woman at the 2nd shop said, “I think there’s a message here.” So, D is going to think about it for a little bit, but will likely end up with that dress. Same price at both shops, so she may decide based on which is easier for her to get to for fittings. I didn’t keel over from sticker shock, so that’s something. Actually, D is paying for the dress – although I would have kicked in if it ended up being over her budget. I’ll post a link when the decision is final. Next up – wedding party attire and flowers.
We’ve lived in our house since 1984 - so… lots of stuff. Currently we are in the process of fixing it up. Not to sell but rather to have the house we want once we retire. Mostly it’s just needing to redecorate. Put in some hardwood floors and take out some carpets etc. I would love to redo the kitchen with new cabinets but I don’t know that that is really going to happen at least in the near term. H has decided we need a new roof so that is taking a higher priority. Of course with the house changes and the wedding we are making sure that we are capable of paying for both.
D mentioned last night that they might want a band instead of a DJ. That could add some expense. Now to figure out how much a band would cost…
We have some older neighbors who did a renovation of their house – they were probably mid-70s at the time, maybe a little older. They said, “we’re making this the house we are going to die in.” So, one-level living, not sure what else. Ours is a perfect neighborhood for families with young kids as it is in short walking distance to the elementary school. Our own house has a deeded walkway through our neighbor’s yard to the school. I’ve always felt we were a steward of this property for the next family with young kids.
Ours will still be multi leveled with the laundry in the basement and the bedrooms on the 2nd floor. Just the layout of the house makes if very hard/difficult to do anything else with out tremendous restructuring. That’s okay. My grandmother did stairs in her old New England farm house until she died and for her the only bathroom was on the main level with her bedroom on the 2nd floor. She managed and I’m from that same New England stock - we just do.
I always thought that would be me. Our house has all of the bedrooms upstairs and only a powder room downstairs. But my stupid left knee can really bother me, even now, so never say never.
I need a How to Leave a Job You’ve Had for 31 Years checklist. I write down things as I think of them but my head is spinning.
I will be off all of next week. I have so many things on my Home for a Week To-Do list that it’s more like a month of projects.
Our trip to see younger D was great. Well, at least the overnight in Hot Springs, Arkansas was great. If you’re ever in the area, you should go. I’m not a fan of massages but had a terrific one there. Younger D was feeling over-committed for the upcoming school year (school started today.) She’s been ill but finally got antibiotics, an inhaler, etc. H always seems to find fault with her apartment (not clean enough, etc.) but considering where she was junior and senior year in HS, I think she’s doing remarkably well.
Checking in - been reading everything shared here but been too busy to post in a while.
Congrats on the new positions, MP and RM! And to all those shopping for weddings. Hope those who have been ill are feeling better.
I’ve had a very busy work schedule. It’s been even crazier because instead of the “usual” training, it’s all been new stuff and it’s a lot more work since I’m not on auto-pilot. One of the trainings we don’t even offer but a client somehow purchased (another company can sell our services) so I had a very short time line to develop the training, write the manual, and then deliver it. In addition most of them have been on the west coast so I’ve had longer travel times, adjusting to the time change, etc.
Arrived at the very southern tip of Texas this afternoon and am delivering yet another brand-new training tomorrow. I contributed to the training content and to the manual but as of this moment I haven’t read over all the materials yet. Guess I need to do that before tomorrow. Or at least the first day’s worth.
The weekend of August 13 was my brother’s memorial service. It was held a month after his death, and H and I, and my other two brothers were all there, along with his children. My parents don’t travel anymore due to their age/health limitations. It was a very meaningful service and lovely to spend the weekend together remembering our brother, and we laughed and cried a lot. Very emotionally draining.
While I was gone last week traveling S moved into his housing for law school, which started today (I think?). His gf is still staying with us - she moved to NYC at the beginning of July, and found and started a job at the beginning of August, and has found housing which starts Sept. 1. Our nephew has been home a lot this summer so we’ve had a full house. Except for me, since I’ve been gone so much.
cq, so much going on in your life. Sending hugs and good health and energy to you.