Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>“So yesterday in the mail Son got his “AP Schoar with whatever” certificate in the mail. Boy, is that a useless thing…to get a high school “honor” when you’re a month into college. Not talking about any benefit in terms of college credit one may receive, is there any kind of financial prize that comes with very the highest AP honors? Printing and mailing the certificates just seems like a worthless thing for the College Board to spend money on.”</p>

<p>We got that about 10 days ago and I totally agree!! Maybe it’s supposed to make us feel better about all the money we’ve paid College Board over the past couple of years!! I actually forgot to even tell my son about it. It does seem sort of silly. Oh well - I’ll show it to Grandma so she can brag a little about her grandson (that’s one of the benefits of being the Grandma, right?)</p>

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<p>Hmmmm… wonder if son will get his AP scholar with whatever in the mail as well. I think it just makes them look good when they have kids of their own. What does it say that I am finishing off his High School letter jacket with all his spring letters and achievements simply so when he wears it for halloween parties in 20 years people will be shocked that he was ever athletic. (and I say this because that is the most common costume I see on 40 year old guys… the 50’s look when none of us were teenagers in the 50’s.</p>

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<p>Interesting to read about the empty nest upsides! (e.g. Frank Lloyd Wright tour!).</p>

<p>Just talked to son tonight – he’s just told me has had trouble sleeping for the past several weeks (!) – been away at college over a month. Apparently, is getting to bed at 4 a.m./5 a.m. every night. Has tried noise reduction fan, has no caffeine, tried exercising, tried not exercising, tried music on ipod (did this at home) tried no music, tried milk before bed. Nothing seems to work & he’s planning on going to student health to get a ‘sleep aide’ (!).</p>

<p>Following CC advice I said, “sounds like you are handling it” (after some questions & a few ‘did you try this’ ideas). </p>

<p>Wondering what it could be and if anyone else had a similar experience and/or any tips?</p>

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<p>Getting to bed at 4am? Seriouslly? Does he mean he stays up then treis to go to bed at 4am or that he tosses and turns all night, after going to bed at reasonable hour for a college student like 1am or such? </p>

<p>What’s he doing at 4am? Just wondering cause I think the clinic may ask before they give him drugs</p>

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<p>As fpr the high school awards and trophies and such, if you gotta show those off when you are 4o, ew!!!</p>

<p>Don’t know why they send those certificates out, except for partnets, because a tthis point the kids don[t care</p>

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<p>My D got one of of those Ap things too. But some of her Ap’s do apply to college.
JS hope your son gets this sorted out, esp if it’s every night. for occ sleep some people take tylenol pm -has benadryl. We dont take it gives us the opposite reaction. not prescribing mind you - and seems like it would be important to find out why first. I would find it hard adjusting to a new environment, roomates. I often think how woould I do living with virtual strangers- at my age probably not well.</p>

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<p>Joylnne, one of the things that might work is for him to visualize that the alarm has just rung and it is time to get up. Since he probably feels exhausted when this actually happens, the visualization might make him tired so he can fall asleep. Another activity that might put him to sleep is to read a textbook–that one always seems to work for my kids. Basically, you take the activity you least want to do and if you aren’t asleep by x time, force yourself to get up and do that thing. Since you really don’t want to do it, your mind forces your body to fall asleep. I don’t have any personal experience with these techniques, but just what I have read. </p>

<p>Does he seem stressed about something in particular or just school in general? The insomnia is probably a symptom of something so if he can get to the bottom of that and treat the cause, the symptom could take care of itself. Hope he finds some relief soon.</p>

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<p>ilovetoquilt22–he says he goes to bed 2 or 3 hours before he finally falls asleep at 4 or 5 a.m. So I’m guessing it’s at 1 a.m. (not too bad for a college student?). He never had trouble falling asleep at home (when he decided to go to bed!). But, could easily stay up until 5:30 a.m. hanging w/friends, playing video games, etc. </p>

<p>downtoearth–maybe I’ll mentiont the tylenol p.m. I’d feel better w/something over-the-counter than some prescribed drug! Thanks. The thing about living w/others – he’s got a beautiful suite – private bedrooms for all 4 guys, huge living area, kitchen, etc. He says he gets along w/his roommates, but sometimes they are out & he’s in (guess that’s normal?).</p>

<p>I thought when we toured that it actually wouldn’t be as condusive to socialization as a the typical, crazy dorm w/kids running in and out of the open doors in the hallways, all the time (tho son is fairly sociable & has made a number of good friends). It does seem to be quiet – just didn’t think lack of sleep would be the problem.</p>

<p>TheAnalyst–those are great tips! I will send them along to son! Come to think of it, I’ve found that to be true. Just crack open a few legal cases and I’m slumbering in no time…!</p>

4009

<p>Just a quick post to mark where I am so I can read up on your posts.</p>

<p>Quick recap on my DD- After 3 weeks she is finding her rhythm and routine. She now has friends from different states and have started going out and hanging with them. She really was feeling lonely the first week of school. She is doing well in her classes and loves what she is doing.</p>

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<p>Had a nice talk with Son - GF slept on the couch of a friend of a friend in a neighboring town. Sounds like that is actually what happened instead of the story he is *telling *us. I already know that next weekend his roommate is coming home to go to a concert, so if they’d wanted the room to themselves, they could have just waited a week.</p>

<p>Although Son reports no big new friendships, he does descirbe normal college interaction…suitemates knocking on the door and sayiing “we’re watching X movie, come over if you want”, the whole floor coming to their room to watch “Glee”, etc. I don’t think he has any great friends but doesn’t sound like he’s isolated.</p>

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<p>So DH and I were happily empty nesting with kids at college in MN and MA, when Son’s best friend comes over Friday night. He attends UT and came in for the weekend, but his parents are out of the country. He sounded so glum that there was no food in his kitchen that we had him over for dinner Saturday night. Still scratching my head over why he’d spend 4+ hours with us, but he really does have “second son” status to us.</p>

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<p>Jolynne, we have dealt with sleep disorders over the past few years. A couple of things other than drugs/sleep aids. He might try a meditation class (even yoga helps, although my son won’t do it). Lots of exercise. Taking melatonin around 10 at night (the infirmary might give this to him, which would be good). Here’s something that might help [NightWave</a> Sleep Assistant For Sleep | NightWave Blue Light - All Natural Way to Get Sleep.](<a href=“http://www.nightwave.com/index.php]NightWave”>http://www.nightwave.com/index.php), though it might drive a roommate nuts and I have no firsthand knowledge of its effectiveness.</p>

<p>If this is new, TheAnalyst’s comment that this may be related to something else seems appropriate. My son was having trouble falling asleep before he got to college – he gets anxious in anticipation of potential problems – but is now sleeping reasonably well.</p>

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<p>Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking and what prompted the post – only this was said better.</p>

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<p>I think I finally read everything I missed. Yeah me!!</p>

<p>My DD’s friend is also having room-mate issues. Seems to me like not all children are taught respect. Go figure</p>

<p>Anybody else doing Flylady? I’ve tried to follow some of her teachings, but working full time and traveling, it is not as easy as it seems. I’m still not even sure I want to go in to DD bedroom for fear that I will start crying. I think there is a chance she may be coming home the week I fly overseas, to help dad with her sib, but not sure yet. So I want to make sure her room looks good.</p>

<p>Cards – I am not buying them, I’m making them with my own clip art and quotes from motivational websites seems more personal. Plus not a lot of stores carry “musical” stuff that she would appreciate.</p>

<p>Game – DD played in her first game and LOVED it. She was happy to be part of a winning team. She loves the professional and serious attitude of the majority of the band. We are hoping to see her play at family weekend and during Thanksgiving weekend, which is our big state rivalry game.</p>

<p>Care packet – sent my first one last week. Propel packets, music books she requested, a couple of T-shirts she had left in her room. We joked about chocolate; she said it would melt in the heat. Oh the Southwest. I’m baking cookies for the next one. I like the chocolate frosting and graham crackers; maybe I’ll also add some marshmallow fluff to that box. Yum.</p>

<p>Oatmeal cookies – just follow the recipe on the back of the oatmeal tub. They come out great every time. Take them out 1 min before they are done, let them finish baking on the tray for 1 more min. Then put them on the rack to cool.</p>

<p>NM – hope your recover soon. Those are not nice. I do hope you get away with the not having to clean anymore. ;-)</p>

<p>Ilovetoquilt, sorry to hear about your dog. How nice was that from the vet? </p>

<p>Those days…I too am addicted to texting, facebook and video conferences with DD so when I don’t hear from her I worry and I miss her. Told DH that I would love to go visit and he looked at me and shock his head. I don’t think he really understands how close we are. I know she has “launched” it doesn’t mean that the ones waiting can’t miss the ones that are “on their way to being grown ups” or that we can’t communicate. Right?</p>

<p>LasMa, so glad to hear that your dd is doing better. My dd was also pretty homesick the first two weeks of school. Yes, she even cried, which for her is totally out of character, so I knew it was serious. Nice to hear that schools are doing their best to have trained staff intervene with these situations. All of our kids react differently. I think like another mom said…overtired, alone and anxious did not make for a good combo. Now she is even thinking about taking a bellydance class with one of her friends. She danced competitively for 10 years, it was hard when she too “retired” and chose music. I missed the studio moms for a while. Now I too enjoy being retired from my “kid driven” volunteer activities.</p>

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<p>That’s great, missypie (the casual dorm interactions, etc.). Regular dorms are nice for that sort of thing. When I talked to son last night, he was alone in his suite doing homework & I started to worry that the ritzy suite-style dorms are really a bit isolating (thought this when we first toured in the summer). Hopefully not. Glad to hear the other kids are feeling less homesick too (LasMa, Bandiemom).</p>

<p>Btw, I lovetoquilt, our vet did the same thing when our dog passed. I framed the paw print and it’s in our guest room.</p>

<p>shawbridge thank you very much for those tips!! I will investigate the light and maybe order him one. And mention the melatonin. I’m pretty sure this must be related to being in a new place (son never did extended summer camps, etc.) and the stress of the new school. I’ll suggest to him that he continue the exercise — that would be good on a variety of levels.</p>

<p>fireflyscout–we had a similar experience. Son left Aug 9th – a group of his friends have come to hang out at our house, chat and play video games in our basement several times before they all left for college. It was nice! We do miss them. Used to cook up big breakfasts for between 3-10 kids on Sat/Sun morns, have crowds of kids tromping through at all hours. It’s quieter and more predictable, now!</p>

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<p>Jolynne, regarding sleep: I’ve found CDs by Jeffrey Thompson, like “Delta Sleep System”, to be a real help when my sleep schedule gets disrupted, which is what sounds like what happened to your son. I also love melatonin, like 3 mg. sublinguals.</p>

<p>BTW my favorite relaxation CD is the one by Andrew Weil “Sound Mind, Sound Body” but after an amazing sleep induction, he has ‘wake up’ music play. Sometimes I can hit the stop button as I detect the ‘wake up’ music and continue to sleep.</p>

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<p>Jolynne & Firefly- I saw this from the other side. D was the last of her friends to leave, during her last week at home she went over to her best friend’s (of 11 years) house to visit her friend’s parents. They were happy to see her (they are now empty nesters).</p>

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<p>We are on the other side of the isolation thing. Our normally very social son seems to be seeking lots of isolation. Perhaps going from a very large house to the crowdedness of a dorm plus the stress of classes has made him need to pull back socially just to get some space. He seems happy with his routine and does get out on the week-ends, but seems to spend every other moment studying. He said he stayed in Saturday night because going out Friday night and then the game Saturday was enough. He has exams this week and wanted to be fresh for studying Sunday morning so he could see the NFL games in the afternoon.</p>

<p>He even bonded with his English teacher, who apparently had conferences with all the kids and gave him positive feedback on his paper. She is Russian and he went to Russia two years ago so they have hit it off. I don’t think I recognize this as the same child from high school, who never talked to a teacher outside of the classroom in his life.</p>

<p>H has decided not to make the drive for Parent’s week-end Oct. 3 since he will be going back for several more football games and S said he has more time to hang with him at the football games than on an ordinary week-end.</p>

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<p>Thank you, Treetopleaf, for the suggestions. I’m putting those (& the nightwave blue light) in a doc to order later, for son. </p>

<p>Fallgirl–that’s nice that your daughter feels close enough to another family just to hang w/the adults. They say kids need lots of adult mentors/role models.</p>

<p>TheAnalyst–isn’t it funny? I’m glad to call and hear that son is studying, too (a departure from the days of HS) but then, I wonder about the social aspect. Perhaps I just can’t seem to ‘not worry’ (if he was socializing a lot: ‘is he studying enough?’; if he is studying a lot: ‘is he socializing enough?’). The beauty of the 900 mile distance — I don’t voice these concerns to my son and he gets to work it out on his own. That can be a big plus.</p>

<p>I just wish son had the tradition of ECs in HS as so many kids do – that way he’d see that working together on a project, being active in a club, etc. is a wonderful way to get to know people (including girls!). It just doesn’t happen out of thin air. I hope he will eventually realize this, since he’s not getting involved in any college ECs that I know of (but has met a nice group of friends & is playing his guitar — very similar to HS).</p>

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<p>TheAnalyst – I read your post about your S and immediately thought “sensory overload!” I can be very social, but I have to have my quiet time to recharge. Everyone in my family is that way, so we have all learned that when someone’s off to him/herself let them be. </p>

<p>It is a LOT harder to get that quiet time in a dorm.</p>