<p>I think a number of parents here have made the point that the behind-the-scenes kids DO get accolades and appreciation at their schools. They certainly do at our school. </p>
<p>I can also safely say that my son who pursued research awards and competitions got a lot more attention from the school and parents than my football player/debate captain – not that either or them do it for the awards.</p>
<p>Jolynne, I’ll PM you.</p>
<p>Good God, ilovetoquilt, what on EARTH are you expecting? That the parents of the members of the basketball team pat your daughter on the back and thank her because she painted sets for a play?? While you are sneering at those same parents for sitting in the stands to watch their own kids play basketball and lamenting their very presence in the stands??</p>
<p>Wow.</p>
<p>Wow.</p>
<p>I’ll clap for whomever I feel like clapping, thank those I think should be thanked, and attend whatever events I feel like attending, and hope the parents of the basketball team members will, too, and I won’t resent them for it, either! Kindly do the same, and if you think someone deserves some recognition, I suggest you give it to her rather than trying to insist that someone else do so.</p>
<p>I’m done reading and responding to your posts on the matter.</p>
<p>~~~~~~~</p>
<p>woody, thank you, and if you want to take it back, my feelings won’t be hurt, I promise!! :)</p>
<p>Zetesis, 35 miles – that’s great!! I had to work up to 35 miles; I certainly couldn’t do that the first time out! And I’m alllll for not much gain in elevation either way. And the way those riding in the Tour de France do it? Aspirin, I suspect!! (At least, that’s what <em>I</em> use!) </p>
<p>Actually, even if I’m still sore from the day before, I find that I don’t even think about the saddle pain after about the first five minutes on the bike… for a while, anyway. I might start thinking about it again along about… oh, say mile 34!</p>
<p>Jolynne, yay! for your hubster getting his bike out! I think biking is a fabulous way to deal with the empty nest, in addition to being just plain fun!</p>
<p>PRJ, yikes! I hope she’s tip-top in a day or two!</p>
<p>NM, I was going to ask what a “glass of can” was, but I just got it! Thanks, and right back atcha!</p>
<p>~~~ </p>
<p>News from college: spawn wants to transfer. I told him that was fine, and if he wanted to do so for second semester, he’d best start working on applications right now, and he had to be mindful of financial aid, which is a big consideration for us. He responded saying he’d stay where he is for this year. Yeah, I thought he might say that! ;)</p>
<p>Owlice, I think we went through the same thing at our house with the wanting to transfer- only with our son. Reminded of the mountains of paperwork that would need to be completed, he opted to return to school and make it into the experience he wanted instead of what it had been. Thankfully, he’s decided he wants more of an “academic” experience this year! </p>
<p>You should be very proud of Spawn as I’m sure you are. What a road!</p>
<p>sabaray, thanks! Yes, the paperwork thing is not entirely bad. (Just mostly, if I’m the one who has to do it. 
) Good for your son for making the experience he wants (and yay for it being a more academic one!!)!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Hear, hear! </p>
<p>:: raises a cup of java in toast ::</p>
<p>Zetesis - 35 miles. I’m impressed!!</p>
<p>I feel badly for students in schools who do not support students across the spectrum but it is up to the community to create the atmosphere at the school.</p>
<p>At our hs, the coaches and athletes recognize the student managers and statisticians during the season and at the end of the season banquet. They are introduced and receive certificates and plaques. The parents of all are included.</p>
<p>At the Thespian banquet, stage crew/props people/ lighting people are introduced and thanked. The parents of all are included.</p>
<p>The Literary Societies (school paper, literary journal, poetry journal, yearbook) have a joint banquet for students and parents and those who have received public recognition/awards are recognized.</p>
<p>At the Academic Awards banquet, the same.</p>
<p>The Art Department holds 2 shows a year showcasing the work of the students and the teachers, heavily attended by both all students and the community as a whole.</p>
<p>A lot of students are recognized at more than one event, because there is a lot of crossover.</p>
<p>The school supplies a monthly “article” with all the various recognitions to the local papers.</p>
<p>Our community is one with a lot of cross-support. The biggest supporters of the boys’ soccer team is the football team…the football captain takes pride in banging the drum the entire game, and the drum line from the band generally shows up and keeps the stands rollicking. The boys all show up at girls’ games and paint the girls names and numbers on their torsos.</p>
<p>The athletes go to the plays and concerts and art shows. The captain of last year’s wrestling team is an accomplished sculptor. The captain of girl’s lacrosse was co-editor in chief of the award-winning school paper. Nine athletes were NMF.</p>
<p>Our school has a Boosters Club that encompasses all sports and music/theater groups that does joint fundraising. Money that is raised is allocated according to a formula that accounts for the number of students engaged in that activity, and the participation of the various groups in fundraising. For example, all concession stand activity is run through Boosters…for all athletic and artistic endeavors. Groups get credit for each parent hour volunteered. A basketball parent might volunteer to work during a play or an art show or soccer game or orchestra concert so as to be free to enjoy basketball season. A theater parent might volunteer for a football game. Etc. This system encourages cross-support of activities. And activities that want a proportionately larger share of the pie can earn it by supporting other activities and also by helping grow the size of the pie by coming up with more or better fundraising ideas.</p>
<p>I feel badly for schools where the culture is all-jock or all-academic because it doesn’t have to be that way.</p>
<p>Any one find this as funny as I do?</p>
<p>Yesterday received a note from D’s CC coach from college sent out to all the parents. The girls are allowed to ride to/from meets not on the bus with parents or friends but a permission slip signed by the parents must be filled out and submitted to the coach a head of time. I just found it humorous in that this is after the orientation lecture of - “We are going to treat your children like the young adults they are.” </p>
<p>I don’t think that this is a problem. Just found it funny. </p>
<p>I forwarded the note to my D and said if you ever think you might want to ride with someone else or go with someone else’s parents who are in attendance then let us know a head of time so that we can fill this out and send it in. Not sure that she was amused…</p>
<p>Zetisis–lol at ‘following in the tail wind’ on bikes w/hub – I’ll remember that! You, owlice & a couple of my biking neighbors are inspiring me…and hopefully hub, too!</p>
<p>Um, cpeltz–don’t go. lol. Unless, of course, you want to. FWIW, I thought I wouldn’t have a lot to post about now that admissions/move-in process is over – but it’s been so great to read the various adjustment stories, get feedback on son’s acadmic/other issues, etc. </p>
<p>I think we’re all less singularly focused on a single thing together, now (admission! move it!) now, so other (perhaps more controversial) topics are bound to come up. </p>
<p>I still think there are enough, shared, core experiences to make the 2013 thread helpful & informative!!</p>
<p>We can just skate over any contentious stuff…! :-)</p>
<p>PS Owlice–why does your son want to transfer?</p>
<p>I have decided to add my perspective, since our family is not well-rounded and may be more typical of the ultra-competitive types towards which the objections have been raised. H and the boys live, eat, and breathe sports. When our oldest called home last week, the conversation with H started with the US Open (which S1 was watching live at the time of the call), then reviewed the football scores (both college and professional), followed by a discussion of soccer. Only after all of this critical info had been exchanged did the conversation move on to what else might be happening in S’s life. Sports is how H and the boys relate to each other. They lift weights together, enter races together, play golf together, watch sports on TV together, watch live high school, college, and professional games together. H coached their teams growing up. They do their “picks” together and watch the basketball and football drafts together (or compare notes if watching separately). Following sports and playing sports is their passion. </p>
<p>In fact, they don’t spend any time thinking about who edits the year-book or designs the sets for the school play. They rarely went to a school play, barely looked at their year-book and wouldn’t care if those things didn’t exist. If there were no organized sports, however, they would simply create a team and go play. We had about 15 boys from a wide radius come to our bus-stop throughout elementary and middle school because S2 organized an hour of sports in the middle of the street before the bus came. He got the church to install a basketball hoop in their parking lot. S1 got the crew of a cruise ship to let him join their soccer game at one of the ports (this was a serious level game with refs and uniforms). If we go to the beach, H and the boys compete with each other doing sprints in the sand and look completely silly doing it. Who is clapping for that? It’s just what they do and who they are.</p>
<p>I assume every family relates to each other in whatever rituals and activities they like best. In our little sport bubble, it never occured to me that so much resentment was out there for what seems like a harmless enough hobby.</p>
<p>cpeltz…please don’t go! 
I know exactly how you feel but I refuse to let someone ruin the haven we have worked so hard to have here on cc. Just slide over those posts!!! You have given me so much wisdom and I would truly miss you! Virtual hug! {{{hug}}}</p>
<p>Haha…Not a glass of can…a glass of cab!!!</p>
<p>opps! Tried to edit but I timed out!</p>
<p>Dreamweaver…Goodness! That really takes me back! What hazy memories!! </p>
<p>I am still trying to decide what to do with myself and how to fill my time. I have this silly knee surgery hanging over my head so my plans to get in shape are somewhat on hold. 
Have been devouring books but my house is still a mess and have gone nowhere with remodeling the master bath and bedroom. I am trying to decide who I want to be for this part of my life. Have even started to look at classes offered at a few local colleges. Who knows where I will settle! I guess I will just explore my options until I find a new passion. </p>
<p>So…I’m hoping all of our '09 grads have a wonderful day today! And to my fabulous friends here on the thread I want to say thanks for helping me through the recent lows and for celebrating the highs…ok, maybe I should say the small steps towards a high??? Thank you my friends! Looking forward to hearing from you today!</p>
<p>Oh no! keep your thread going. Even when I cant respond I enjoy all your posts. Everyone is in a flux sorting out this period in their lives.
PRJ sorry to hear of flu hopefully all better and now will not have to worry about it. D reports “not feeling good” roomate went home for a week. Will have to monitor.</p>
<p>NM, it’s hard to get motivated to clean, isn’t it? I have a giant Xerox box filled with paper that needs to be shredded. Our lab, now that he’s left to his own devices, started “helping” by taking material from the box. Every night when I get home I’ve discovered a pile of shredded material at the top of the stairs. Now if I could just teach him to put it in the trashcan we’d be all set!</p>
<p>Owlice, you seem very calm about the idea of a transfer…is that because (a) you are a calm person, (b) you don’t think it will really happen, or (c) you anticipated that it might happen?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>:: falls over laughing ::</p>
<p>NM, I took it – eventually – as meaning “can-do,” as in “be the change you want to see in the world,” but I puzzled over it for a looooong time before that thought occurred to me! </p>
<p>It works with either can or cab, so I bow to your cleverness; even your typos work!!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Jolynne, because 1.) he’s surrounded by kids acting their age, and 2.) he has to read books he doesn’t want to read and analyze, discuss, and write about them, and that class, required of everyone, requires actual time spent on the work. Isn’t that outrageous, that college makes such demands of him? Poor kid!!</p>
<p>missypie, I think it won’t happen, at least, not yet. Most (~60%) of the kids DO transfer after their sophomore year, so yes, he may transfer out eventually, but right now, I think he’s venting.</p>
<p>PRJ–is she feeling better today?</p>
<p>Is anyone else just beyond thrilled that we’re NOT going through college applications this year. Oh, it is SO nice to not be visiting colleges, analyzing colleges, applying to colleges…</p>
<p>Good questions, Missypie! Will await the answer, but have the impression that for me it would be (more or less), if it’s something you really want, you will have to make it happen yourself and hope he has nightmarish flashbacks of what those efforts a year ago.</p>
<p>On the other subject of disagreement - Frankly, I dont know what I would do without checking in here a couple of times a day - although I do quesiton if this is a sincere sign that I need to get a life! BUT What I like most, in fact, is that we are all from very different parts of the country with differences in all areas of life and I think, had we sat across from each other in an auditorium would we have found as much in common as we have here?</p>
<p>About transfer: we asked about the AP Scholar with whatever awards and I think in the case of a transfer, these kinds of things are still very relevant. My son earning all american, etc etc at the end of senior year long after deposits had been sent would mean somehing, but I honestly think he loves the school beyond all.</p>
<p>I talked to him yesterday after running into another mom in the parking lot during pick up for D15 Yesterday. She said that one of the girls who is also attending S’s school is finding herself extremely homesick, hasn’t find a niche, and is unhappy… as reported to her mom. On the other hand, it’s been reported that my son has “retired” from football, has a big group of friends and has proven himself to be pretty popular. (as an aside, I am not sure what that means exactly and hope it’s not that he can procure beer for all weekend festivities and I am not so naive to think that would never be the case). Anyway… I asked Son about this other student and for as much as they were in the same wider group of friends, it wasn’t as if they were best buddies or anything. However, at college they seem to be seeing one another a lot. He said she doesn’t seem anything but happy. And so on the one hand I felt a little guilty passing on her possible homesickness, but on the other I said he should be the one to offer her a familiar shoulder should she ever need it. I just don’t know if she knows him as the sensitive type - which he can totally be. On the other hand, perhaps she is just saying how unhappy she is because of a separation from a boyfriend. Perhaps she hasn’t found a niche, but she does seem to be hanging out with a whole gaggle of girls and from facebook photos, isn’t exactly sitting in her room lamenting anything. Not sure what to make of that one - i.e., should I call the mom and say, that despite her saying how homesick she is, perhaps she is just unloading and then going off to enjoy herself?</p>
<p>Not sure what to do, but this is their oldest child of four and the light of their eyes. I just want them to maybe consider the possibility that she is venting and then going on to be SEEM very happy and if she is honestly not, my son would be there for her. I think her not finding a new best friend has been somewhat disconcerting as others seem to have found that. But that could be leeching, not true friendship yet to be tested. Who knows.</p>
<p>OK… off to do something productive. I feel so inadequate when other people here are riding their bikes 35 miles when I don’t want to drive my car 35 miles!!</p>
<p>My niece transferred and it worked out great. It took over a year from the time she decided she wanted to transfer because the financial part (as in, getting the target school to pay) was 100% up to her. She handled it beautifully.</p>
<p>Gosh, people, don’t go! I read daily but have not been posting lately. I suppose that stems from the fact that we had a pretty unpleasant summer with S (attitude that was directly correlated to relationship with GF) and have felt so relieved! to have him at school. Of course it helps that, other than missing the GF, he is pretty happy. Complains about to much reading but that is all. He has had nearly zero communication with us and has only called when he wanted something. I have “normalized” by texting and calling a little.
However, 
H and D both got a huge kick out of yesterdays communication and both asked if I was going to post on CC–I thought that was cute! S called at 2:16-2:22-2:47-3:02-3:03. Guess the laundry was done by then 
. He is a very overfocused kid and had to have every little detail. This past summer I decided to NOT remind him how to do it until he did call as it would have been just one more thing to argue about. He actually was kinda nice to me and we only conflicted on whether it was fair to use both washers at the same time or if it was better to do one load at a time. It takes 1 1/2 hours to complete a load. He thought he should use one (he can be Sooooo considerate to others :rolleyes: ) while I thought that he should use both and get in and out as quickly as possible. I figured that many would also need both washers and also did not see how he would be able to spend 3 hours at once getting 2 loads done. Also, the students can use any laundry facilities on any floor so don’t have to wait for their own floors machines.</p>
<p>Modadunn–I would probably say something if I ran into this mom but would only call if I knew her individually. I guess I would worry about her feeling invaded and gossiped about. Now if I heard anything that suggested the daughter was doing terrible true depression) vs homesick I would call.
D tansfered mid freshman year. I agree that the student needs to do the footwork/paperwork. The irony for us is that D transfered to THE school I picked out as being a fabulous choice for her but that she did not even apply to until she wanted to transfer. Guess this goes under “mom knows best” :)</p>