<h1>tm - glad to hear he is on the mend. But, man, missing a full week of classes is a big problem. It’s like missing 2 weeks at a semester-based school (as you well know!). I’m not sure there’s ever a good time, but now certainly isn’t one!</h1>
<p>My S is just the same with the “I’ll be fine”, especially when things aren’t going well.</p>
<p>{{hugs}}</p>
<p>Zim, welcome and…coffee to go with that chocolate this morning. I’m glad you found our little community here–it’s a very nice, supportive place, even with slackers (like me) who only sporadically pop in. </p>
<p>Is it just me, or does it seem like H1N1 is really beginning to be pervasive? I think our HS is starting to get more cases…have heard rumors about my kids’ colleges. #TM, I’m glad your son is on the mend. Is the U being supportive about missing class and all?</p>
<p>Oh, Owlice and DizziMom, thank you so much for my now knowing that other boys don’t yet have WS jobs either. On top of being short that assumed income, ours is also going through declining-balance food plan at heart-stopping rate. I keep trying to assure myself with DMson’s same notion - it’s only been six weeks. All else is going swimmingly, and I just want him to keep being able to be there. Extreme sympathies to Zim; ours is 2500mi - best not to think of that. Maybe it’s the dreary weather here and intimations of winter, but I find each weekend I’m missing him more - he’s growing further into his new world, and though we have a great frequency of communications of various kinds, the shallowness kills me. I want in-depth stories!</p>
<p>“Oh, Owlice and DizziMom, thank you so much for my now knowing that other boys don’t yet have WS jobs either.”</p>
<p>I second that. My son was all fired up to get a ws job BEFORE he arrived on campus. Since he’s been there, however, doesn’t seem as though anything has happened! I’d like him to have a job (for the $, the experience, and just as another way to meet people), but I’m definitely NOT pushing it. The last thing I want to do is add any type of pressure to his initial freshman adjustment period.</p>
<p>D 2 has had 2 colds already, D1 has had 1. Having worked at a boarding school as the school nurse - which is similar albeit smaller - colds abound. Abundantly. Its crazy how often some kids get them. And some are pretty nasty. D2 says 1 roomie is out till all hours partying then gets sick and then passes it on…how thoughtful. But she does remember it from BS so was sort of prepared. They are both even taking vitamins and using plenty of hand gel which they hate. Fluids and eating well make a big difference. Then again there is the whole sleep thing but I managed to get by on much less sleep in college…and they will too!</p>
<p>Glad your son is better, #theorymom–hope he catches up on his work, too! Welcome Zim!</p>
<p>Checking in with another no-work-study kid! Son has perused the online ‘job board’ but has not deigned to apply for anything. Floated the idea of ‘working in a pizza place in town’ & I tried hard not to pull my hair out at the suggestion. Just mentioned that ‘they probably would want you to work weekends and not around your class/social schedule.’ (“Oh. Yeah.”).</p>
<p>Getting nervous because I saw son post on a friend’s FB page that he hasn’t been to classes in 2 days last week! Not sick, apparently. I’m biting my nails w/you #theorymom. </p>
<p>Thinking I need to have the – “you need X gpa to maintain scholarship” chat when he comes home. Really didn’t want to be a downer…!!!</p>
<p>Jolynne, my sister wasn’t involved with her son’s grades freshman year (everything’s fine, etc.) and got a big surprise come grade time. The kid eventually dropped back to the CC (and is on the verge of graduating somewhere else, so we have a happy ending, except for the $$ expended for unproductive semesters). I think, particularly if maturity is an issue, a parent should not feel conflicted about finding out exactly what is going on. It should be crystal clear to the student what will happen if grades prevent continuation at his school. Best luck!</p>
<p>Thanks, Treetopleaf. I think sometimes son has the ‘magical thinking’ thing going on: “Sure, I’m not working right now, but it will all work out in the end and I’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>I may have to paint a clear picture (e.g, ‘goodbye to the newfound friends if gpa isn’t up to snuff’). Then again, I have no concrete reason to believe that his grades aren’t where they should be. Just that “gotta worry” compulsion, I guess…!</p>
<p>I feel comfort in reading all of your posts just to know I am not alone. I miss my S1 so much. He has called a few times and we have texted but like TR09 said “though we have a great frequency of communications of various kinds, the shallowness kills me. I want in-depth stories!” I check his facebook everyday but he hasn’t written anything all week! I feel kind of creepy “stalking” him but I only want to know what is going on in his world that saddly I am no longer a part of…:(</p>
<p>I also check Son’s facebook status…the last two weeks have been all about his First Year Seminar. It ends on Thursday but last week was the huge presentation and this week is the huge paper. I’ll occasionally send him a message on facebook but I avoid actually posting on his wall.</p>
<p>SueWoody, check China’s comment on FB “stalking.” As in her case, it was my son who created FB acct for me to see pix, and I love the world of youthful happiness I’m seeing.</p>
<p>Jolynne, you showed such restraint - I mentioned that the ‘food places down the street’ might not be into giving him a month off at Christmas. God forbid we get into the intricacies of how WS income doesn’t count against his FAFSA. But, truly I just want some magical thinking of my own - that this all didn’t have to matter, because I know what a big change it’s all been for him and because you want them carefree as long as possible. Have you checked the job board yourself? - sheesh, the postings sound intimidating to me, and I’ve worked for 40 years - can’t imagine what they look like to 18-yr-olds.</p>
<p>Re: work study- I’ve really had to kick my second year son in the rear on this one. WS he had last year didn’t work with his schedule this semester so he was back to square one in the “looking” after thinking he had a job locked in at the beginning of the year. He also floated the idea of a working at a pizza place and our response was if he was going to do that he could also pay his tuition bill. Finally managed to get a job on campus but it seems there are many more students eligible and anxious to get one.</p>
<p>Spawn keeps demanding I send him food! I know the cafeteria at his school has limited offerings – it’s a small school – and as he’s a vegetarian, his choices are further limited, but I was not planning on subsidizing his extracurricular eating… that’s what the WS money is supposed to do! I sent him one package with a few things in it and a Subway gift card (both sent before the “send food!!!” messages started coming); he complained about the items in the package (whatever happened to “Thanks, Mom!”?) and when questioned about receipt of the gift card, replied, “Subway gift card?? I haven’t seen it.” (He did eventually find it; maybe he learned from the experience that it’s a good idea to open cards from his maternal unit!)</p>
<p>He probably thinks I want him to starve, poor child! I don’t; I just want him to get a friggin’ job!!</p>
<p>“I feel kind of creepy “stalking” him but I only want to know what is going on in his world that sadly I am no longer a part of…”</p>
<p>Ah, SueWoody, I definitely know what you mean here. It’s sad, but oh so true!!! And even though it was my daughter who created my FB account, my son did finally “friend” me, basically giving me free reign to “stalk” him to my heart’s content!! Which I do on a daily basis. Since he’s been gone it’s given me alot of pleasure - I see all the people at his school that he is “friending” and I see pictures - lots and lots of pictures - almost all posted by girls (I think girls like posting pictures more than boys do). And he looks happy and like he’s having fun in these pictures. It’s a good thing. He’s not a huge FB poster himself (doesn’t really post a status too often), so seeing these pix and reading the funny comments that go along is fun for me. </p>
<p>The few times we have spoken, the conversations are upbeat and it’s not like he doesn’t want to tell me stuff - I just have to ask a million questions!! And then the answers are not very detailed!! Now, if I compare that to “stalking” his FB, as tr09 said: “I love the world of youthful happiness I’m seeing.”</p>
<h1>theorymom, I’m glad to hear you son is getting better. I just spoke with son tonight - he’s still healthy, but says he’s hearing a lot of coughing. So far he’s been pretty good about setting boundaries with me - if he’s too busy to take a phone call or IM, he let’s me know!</h1>
<p>Now I’m having lots of fun finding Halloween nonsense to send to my kids!</p>
<p>Does some kind soul want to talk me down from the ledge? I just need some reassuring words here…</p>
<p>I just got off the phone with my son. As usual, he reports that everything is “fine,” he went out this weekend and it was “OK” (maybe not as much fun as he’s had the previous weekends), and he still has lots and lots of work. He said he might be feeling a bit overwhelmed, but he’s sure it will be “fine” - yea there’s that word again. For a kid who loves to write and does it very well, he really needs to work on his speaking vocabulary.</p>
<p>So anyway, I think I just decided I don’t really like to talk on the phone with him. Basically, he’s just not a good “phone talker.” Like most kids his age, he really doesn’t do a whole lot of it. Texting, IM’s - that’s what it’s all about if he’s not actually talking in-person to someone. I just felt like the entire conversation was … unfulfilling. Uhgg - I know I’m making more of this than I should and I shouldn’t read anything into his lack of enthusiasm on the phone. I think I just want so desperately for him to be happy at college. I guess I really want him to be one of the ones who doesn’t have a difficult adjustment period. Then again, if things aren’t going well for him at any point, I definitely want him to know he can talk to us about it. I don’t want him to feel that he has to keep anything from us for fear we would be disappointed or anything.</p>
<p>Have I mentioned that I know I’m probably making way too much out of a simple, brief phone call? I guess it’s just the adjustment to being so in the dark about what’s really going on in his day to day life. Let’s face it, when they live home you see them every day. Even if he’s not actually verbalizing everything he’s feeling, you can pick-up alot of info just by physically seeing him. Man, that Paraent’s Weekend can’t come fast enough.</p>
<p>Thanks for letting me vent.</p>
<p>China – have you tried Skype with him? Sometimes it’s helpful getting a visual for our non-phone talkers.</p>
<p>China, was it you calling him? That’s almost impossible to ever get the timing right. And if you cast your mind back, if it was anything like my household, you could spends hours, days in the house without significant conversation. But it was the being present, being available, that yielded the occasional hour+ conversations. And those meant the world. Because you had them, somehow they will come again, but I don’t yet know how. I’m afraid it won’t be until whatever his vacation home is. I’d say that “fine” really does mean “fine,” even if it also means “I’m not talking right now.” Lucky you to have parents’ weekend to drink him in; I’m visualizing you out at dinner some place, smiling and laughing and him babbling.</p>
<p>Ugh…D2 had a hard time leaving home/boyfriend to go back to school this evening. :(</p>
<p>Our D is a horrible phone talker. Hates the phone and you can feel it in her tone and one word answers. She does like iChat and Facebook instant messages. Just had a 10 minute instant message conversation that yielded a ton of information. She was funny and full of information that would have been impossible to pull out of her on the phone. I have had to alter my expectations and so far she has lived up to her end of the bargain. She loves her school and her friends and gets along very well with her roommate. They are very compatible. Her transition to college has been very easy. So far, she has been able to handle any issues on her own. Luckily, nothing too big. Parents weekend isn’t until February so the next time we will be able to see her is Thanksgiving. Come on Turkey Day!</p>