<p>NMN… if you tried to go the entire circumference, then yes… it was WAY too much. That’s a work out when healthy if you had a bag or two!</p>
<h1>TM… like I said, I hear you. And totally sympathize. Because now you’re kind of between a rock and a hard place: You have most definitely sent a ton of “we’re thinking about you” indicators. And most adults might make the call to thank you. But considering what I just experienced over our own son’s PW, I see he is not so much thinking about how we’re feeling about much. This is a really great kid and one whom I think is going to do amazing things with his life… even if he is being a real jerk in the moment. I guess since you write an email asking questions and he doesn’t answer, that’d tick me off. But I am going to go with Missy and say, pick up the phone and call him. Certainly, you can say you had hoped he would have reached out to you so you didn’t risk interrupting his day, but since you hadn’t missed one birthday, including the day he was born (!!!), you weren’t letting this one pass without a hello.</h1>
<p>Who-hoo for the call! Sometime when everyone’s in a good mood (may have to wait for a face-to-face) it’s okay to say that you’re uncomfortable with the lack of communication and brainstorm a compromise that everyone can live with. I remember being 18 and not talking to my parents two time zones away (and in the days that long distance cost real money) for months. Didn’t give it a second thought. Sometimes an 18 year old needs to be reminded that those who love him want to keep in touch with his world.</p>
<p>D and S call every Sunday.<br>
That was the expectation of both myself and H with our parents in the dark ages when we were in school. We still call H’s parents on Sunday. </p>
<p>The time varies although they have fallen into a pattern. D calls late afternoon and S calls early evening for the most part. </p>
<p>Doesn’t mean that they can’t call other times during the week but we expect to hear form them on Sunday at least. Converstation doesn’t need to be long if they have things to do.</p>
<p>Funny, come to think of it, I still call MY mom every week on Sat. a.m. or Sun. if busy. She often comments that I am the only daughter (of 4) who she can set her watch by in terms of reliable communication. But Rochester Mom puts me in mind of the fact that I was ALSO the only one of the four who went to school hours away and was in the habit as a kid of checking in weekly. Guess it’s a habit that’s built to last : )</p>
<p>In addition to my s.'s weekly call, I periodically send notes, FB, etc. I have asked him if it’s “too much” communication. He said not at all, it was perfect, because even if he was busy it felt good to know we were thinking about him and to feel connected – but said so long as I don’t worry when he doesn’t respond. Which I don’t, (now) because I know I’ll hear his end/responses on the weekend. In general, the rule seems to be if I need a response before a Saturday, I have to say so, and then wait a day, (or so) because our schedules are very different (he is a night owl plus leaves on rising for pretty much a full day with evening commitments…)</p>
<p>So glad theory son called. BTW, I notably did not hear back from my own s. on his bday either (took a day or so) because I’d just seen him and he instead called back other family members, went out with GF etc. updated FB, where tonnes of folks he hasn’t seen posted, etc.</p>
<p>My SIL calls my MIL (her mother) daily. My MIL has confessed that she gets a bit tired of it, but what mother wants to complain about too much contact?</p>
<h1>TM and other siting by the phone…how is it these dang kids can take us back to our teen days, when we waited for calls? I’m glad he called #TM! I think we’re on a pretty good call-on-Sunday schedule.</h1>
<p>S is supposed to call once a week, and had been doing fine since drop-off in August. Then we saw him for Parents’ Weekend. A week later (now 3 days ago) he should have called, but didn’t. I sent him a strong text on Monday – but apparently not strong enough since we still ddn’t hear from him. An even stronger text yesterday morning, and then, finally, he called last night. Pretty much all he said was, “I don’t have time to talk.” Now that just doesn’t fly with me at all. He’ll be home for a 10 day term break in another 1+ weeks, so we’ll be having a very serious heart-to-heart “chat” then!</p>
<p>As I said before, H&I agreed we are holding off until son calls us. My sister sent him $$ and thing is, I don’t even know if he is checking his mailbox because he said he really wasn’t. It is true that it is a little out of his way, but I also told him that it’s no fun to send packages and then hound him to see if he got it… kind of loses the surprise thing. :)</p>
<p>And yes, I hear constantly that he is “too busy” but I saw him over the course of three days and let’s just say I think he’s enjoying some down time as well.</p>
<p>Modadunn - I love reading your posts. Modason is really going to have his head handed to him.
woodyD is coming home this weekend for her break. YAY! Strange but not too interested in catching up with HS friends - just asked for aunts, uncles and cousins to come for dinner Saturday night.</p>
<p>Son has a four day weekend coming up. So far the only thing he’s asked for is Thai food. We’ll be going to the State Fair also, so we’ll be able to report on the Fried Butter.</p>
<p>Woody… handing son his head has never worked in the past and I highly doubt it will be effective in the future. My hope is that when he is home we can have a more organic conversation about how it feels to be me. And while I do understand his need to be independent etc, there is something to be said for recognizing the feelings of those people who love you most in the whole world. However, I cringe because I certainly don’t want to insist upon a relationship based on obligation because, let’s be honest, this is how we build resentments. So… not sure how I will handle it, but am hoping that a little less contact might make him miss us a little instead of his feeling like he hasn’t yet broken away.</p>
<p>Good day at our house so far! D1 actually CALLED to say she had finished her first ever college exam this morning and thought she had done well. She is more an “Eeyore” type so I’m pretty sure she did really well! Whew! Then D1 texted to say she had just applied for her first REAL career job! It is across the country working for a professional sports team but, hey, it is a start! I just hope she has a job when she graduates this spring!</p>
<p>Modadunn
I should not have been so glib. I DO know from whence you speak having had an uncommunicative freshman S a couple of years ago. You’re right - my losing it never helped - only time did.</p>
<p>Woody… I know. I was only trying to point out that I was hoping that I didn’t come across as a browbeating mother… I already have one of those in my life and it’s my own!! And here we are… if it’s not one thing it’s usually MY mother! :)</p>
I just hope she has a job when she graduates this spring!</p>