<p>Thanks for the feel better wishes all. They worked. I feel much better tonight than I did last night. I have no real voice which does make teaching a bit of a challenge.</p>
<p>cpeltz: love love love that you came back. Have been missing you and wanting to pick your brain about you S’s chosen school. It is way to early for anything but S wants big Basketball and or football and I am pulling for Catholic so thought you could share some of your S’s experiences.</p>
<p>Missypie: prayers are sent from me too. So so sorry that your friend isn’t improving as we had hoped.</p>
<p>Wrote a long post this morning - got interrupted with work and lost it before posting. Arrgh.</p>
<p>Short version:</p>
<p>Welcome back cpeltz.</p>
<p>Green with envy on the Paris trip. Glad you had a great trip.</p>
<p>Hope everyone recovers from flu/colds/what ever else quickly.</p>
<p>Any other parent have an over achiever that is working hard but not getting the grades they want? D is doing okay but isn’t getting the grades she wants (wants A’s B’s - getting B’s C’s). She always has trouble at first understanding what the teachers want. Just doesn’t “get it” at first. Very black and white and if they don’t say “This will be on the test” then she doesn’t get it. 2nds test will be better typically - she starts to pick up on it. So anyone trying to encourage their kid? What works/what doesn’t? I want her to have some “fun” time in college as well. She is on a sports team so that is one thing but I don’t want all her other time to be spent studying. I think she is being too hard on herself and she needs to put it into perspective. A lot going on. First semester is challanging I think. Just looking for other peoples thoughts.</p>
<p>Not the one who is in college, but my Junior. She really shouldn’t be taking 2 of the 3 AP classes she’s taking…I just don’t think she’s ready for college level classes. She’s never had any academic problems and so this is making her feel bad and making me worried. It does make me think that she needs a way different kind of school than son needed. It’s kind of nice to hear about Son’s college classes and have a “heads up” in advance of her college search.</p>
<p>I think it is VERY common for kids who like/are used to As to get Bs and below at least first semester. The work should be harder and more challenging. I appreciated that our college president told parents at opening of school to “expect some Cs” even if your child has been a “straight A” kid. It made some parents anxious but I thought it was helpful and true to the experience I had first year in a LAC and also my older son…So I’d just empathize and tell her it is common and is useful because it will help her really figure out how to study and what professors are looking for in college level work…</p>
<p>Thanks mmaah. She is at a LAC. Knew going in that it would be a challange for her and that was good. I’m not sure that she thought it owuld quite so much of a challange I just want her to do her best. As long as she is going to classes and spending a realistic time preparing for class that seems to me to get good enough for now. She just hasn’t accepted that yet. I will say the class that is her worst is one that she doesn’t like the professor and doesn’t understand her. May have something to do with it – not really interested perhaps…</p>
<p>RochesterMom – geek_son is definitely in that category this semester. The Mudd core is unbelievably tough (e.g., their intro physics course is “Special Relativity/Quantum Mechanics” – eek? – and one of his recent math quizzes required a score of 40% to pass). He was prepared for that, but still taken by surprise at just how tough. He also has a campus job and a whirlwind of friends and fun activities, more things to balance with the mundane tasks of always doing his laundry (and never dressing out of the dryer), keeping his space neat (very important to him), and making sure he gets out for meals on time. It’s been a big adjustment for him, and he’s definitely felt the pressure.</p>
<p>Things are looking up now. After a week of bad news in several classes, he learned to go talk with the profs. The material started to click with him then – and more importantly, I think next time he’ll go talk with them and the tutors before he gets burned on a test. There’s a lot of help available at Mudd, if a student is willing to seek it out.</p>
<p>We are glad for two things: One, the first semester is pass/fail. And two, the bigger scholarship is automatically renewed for sophomore year. So the grade pressure isn’t as bad this year as it will be next year… when he should really have his feet under him and be running full speed again.</p>
<p>With everything going on, he seems to be happy beyond words. Stressed, but feeling very much like he’s where he belongs. I’d rather see him stressed and happy than all aces and bored/lonely/miserable.</p>
<p>Back to your daughter, Roch – not liking or understanding the prof can be a real problem. If she hasn’t done so already, suggest that she suck it up and go to office hours. Aside from getting some things clarified, she might come away with a different impression of the prof. Many of them are better one-on-one than in the classroom. And if that doesn’t help, maybe she can find another prof who teaches the same course and get some help from that one.</p>
<p>Welcome back cpeltz! You were definitely missed!
Get well wishes to all under the weather. Prayers for missypie’s friend.
I am green shawbridge! D2 just asked if we could go to Europe for spring break…uhhh… lots to talk about if she is making some anticipated academic changes!</p>
<p>Anyway, she has started the transfer search on her own…big step for her! She is in contact with admissions counselors which does show growth and determination on her part. It appears she is targeting small, private LACs close to home. Some rolling admissions and some early spring deadlines. All of the admissions people are quite positive about acceptance but she hasn’t discussed scholarship opportunities. She has not been academically challenged in any of her classes yet (what I feared when she decided on her school). A change in schools is not a bad thing but it is hard to walk away from the full scholarship! We do, however, want her to be happy and get a solid education. We’ll see what happens! Fingers crossed! ;)</p>
<p>Love that pass/fail 1st semester and the initial auto-renew scholarship. </p>
<p>We are feeling the grade pressure here. Curriculum at S’s school also seems especially challenging (seems a common theme at any of the engineering schools) I think too there is some weeding out happening.</p>
<p>S too is extremely happy with his choice (although complaints are beginning about the M/F ratio) His biggest issue right now seems to be pressure to decide what he wants to major in (Ha! This is a kid who KNEW he would major in math, but now finds programming might be where he wants to go…or game design…or artificial intelligence…or…) Love it!</p>
<p>Means his mind is being opened to new possibilities.</p>
<p>My advice was <em>don’t worry about it</em>. He is taking all the classes needed to major in any of those, and if those are the classes he likes, so to just keep on course and <em>decide</em> which will be his major later. He seemed to relax when I told him he could take any or either of his other passions as electives, he could keep taking them whether he majored or minored in them or not. What a concept</p>
<p>Rochester, can’t speak to the college experience for your daughter but can analogize to D’s boarding school. D’s start last year was similar to what you have described - I know she was working hard but she just wasnt getting what it was that the teacher wanted. She would work harder because that’s all she knew - it took the year for her to learn to work smarter. This year, her second at BS, is very different. She seems to be getting what the teachers want. She isn’t always able to give it to them every time, of course, but rather than just working harder (ie more hours making the same mistakes) she is much more likely to seek help to understand, including taking advantage of office hours. Through her experience I can see why boarding schools are “college preparatory” as these skills are clearly preparing her for college.</p>
<p>On another note, I wonder if you all will indulge me a description of a happy moment. S asked me if I wanted to read a paper he wrote for a seminar course. I hadn’t read much of his writing since the very intense process of college app essays a year ago, so I was eager for the opportunity. The paper required him to synthesize three early 20th century articles, identifying and commenting on the common theme in a climate of the political, economic and artistic changes of the time. As I read his paper I was able to step back and admire it, objectively. It was well crafted, articulately beautifully and reflected sophistication of thought. It made me happy for S that he has honed an ability to express himself and his thoughts in writing so deftly. </p>
<p>I’ve been quick to post when something parenting-related has been troublesome, so I appreciate the indulgence of this pleasant moment in parenthood!</p>
<p>Son is in a similar boat hoping for A’s looking at a range of B’s at this stage. His professors seem to understand the disappointment in that on the day he gave back the midterm, which also happened to be discussion day, as son was leaving at the end of class the professor called him aside to tell him what a good job he was doing in class and in understanding the material. Son said it was probably because he was a little more transparent in his disappointment when he got the test back than he had hoped to show.</p>
<p>Son does a good job of taking advantage of getting help outside the class. His HS did a very good job of encouraging kids to visit their teachers for help and clarification and actually have two periods a week of tutorial that strictly for the kids to see their teachers. The teachers are also incredibly available before and after school as well. So very much unlike my older D’s experience with public school where there were audible sighs and eye-rolling when kids asked questions in class. </p>
<p>I saw where S wrote on D15’s wall that school vacillates between being really really hard to “easy” and he is now in an easier stage – sure midterms have just passed. Still it seems to be a really good fit and I am assuming if he was less happy we’d probably be hearing from him more.</p>
<p>All thanks for the insights. I see I’m not the only one with a child that is experiencing this. Great to know that it’s not a one off thing. S didn’t have these problems when he went. Should have expected this as it always took her a while even in HS to figure out the teachers. </p>
<p>Laxitaxi what a nice post. Always good to hear something good about anothers child. I for one like these posts :)</p>
<p>Geek_mom I WISH it were pass/fail. No scholarship on D so that isn’t an issue.</p>
<p>Laxitaxi I’m hoping that D learns to approach the profs. She had the same problem in HS during the first quarter usually and didn’t learn then. Here’s hoping that some prof sees that and steps in where she fears to tread. Not sure why but she hates to have someone KNOW that she doesn’t get it.</p>
<p>Hi kids! Haven’t posted here for a while, D is getting good grades and seems happy! She came home for “Fall Break” and arranged her own rides through the Ride Service. We had a good time at the Family Weekend & brought my parents with us, everybody had a great time. She will be arranging her own rides for Thanksgiving & the Semester Break. </p>
<p>I complain about my S over on the “Class of 2010” thread, you would think that seeing as this is the 4th child to go through the admissions process, it would get easier, not so! </p>
<p>Ahhh Modadunnn! Sounds like he is in a good place! I wish D2 was way more challenged!</p>
<p>I just wonder how I raised one outgoing, ready to conquer the world D who is applying for jobs anywhere in the country and one who just wants to come back home. </p>
<p>Nice story lataxi! Good to hear from you SLUMOM!</p>
<p>S is on break, but he’s staying at college. It was either come home for break or come home for Thanksgiving. So he’s enjoying sleeping until noon, getting ahead on work-study hours, etc. All but one of his grades have been posted, and he’s currently sitting pretty with a 3.5. Fraternities begin recruitment next month and I’m encouragng him to check them out because he is seriously in need of a social life.</p>
<p>NorthMinn- they come out of the womb and say which personality isnt taken , my two are very opposite. I think my more quiet one needs time.
? how do people feel about letting a 16 year old go to South Korea on a school trip? it si not exactly the best year for us but i wonder if all the stress i am under clouds my judgement. She wants to go but worries because she has stomach issues and missing school. I do wish it was somewhere more accessable. Europe is even 6 hrs away but 20???
Didnt feel well enough for parents weekend, no D 1 is ill in the middle of exams. So hard to be away. I would have to send my H as my WBC will plummit soon.
My favorite saying this too shall pass. I would welcome your opinions.</p>
<p>Do you have any idea at all how stable your health will be when it’s time for her to take the trip to South Korea? Since she’s mentioned being worried about missing school and stomach problems, is she actually trying to get you to say no, because in her heart of hearts she really doesn’t want to leave you? Is there any chance that she fears you’ll take a turn for the worse, but that she doesn’t want to mention that possiblity to you?</p>
<p>I don’t want to sound pessimistic about your health, but it seems like people feel obligated to “share” stories of their own friends or relative’s illnesses and there may be worries in your D’s mind as a result.</p>
<p>Thinking of you downtoearth! {{{hugs}}}!!! Sending more good thoughts and prayers! Like missypie mentioned I wonder if your D has some doubts about going. Maybe a relaxed heart-to-heart is in order. Take care!</p>
<p>downtoearth - I was just thinking about you yesterday and actually checked to make sure you have still been feeling well enough to post on the boards. Just get through it…minute by minute…hour by hour…day by day… And I hope your friends and family are just loving you through it.</p>
<p>downtoearth—sorry to hear its such a stressful time–I agree, this too shall pass.<br>
now the South Korea trip, hmm that’s a tough one, similar story here— my d wanted to go on a school trip to China at 16 and I was not comfortable with her being that far away, worried about her ability to be that independent, (I talked with the teacher who was to accompany the students and she was way young and had no sense of how much supervision kids that age would really need) My d has matured since but at the time she showed difficulty demonstrating great judgment, so all things considered I didn’t support the trip. She’s going to Israel this December, she’s now ready at 18. personally I don’t think your judgment is clouded, and you certainly are under a great deal of stress…that said, imho its okay for that to influence your choices as a mom…and to possibly keep things low stress if at all possible…you matter too.</p>
<p>I suppose I’d need to know what kind of trip we’re talking about because if it’s school related, how is it she’d miss school and how long are we talking about? I also wouldn’t encourage such an adventure if money is an object or as a way to improve college applications. However, as a branch to the idea of boarding school, we are considering allowing d15 to take a semester abroad next year (when she’d be nearly 17 as her birthday is in two weeks). Not sure where we are on that idea, but some of the kids at her school have done city term, island school, swiss semester, etc. I also know that there are some options to do semester exchange programs or even year long ones to places like china etc. Cost would be a big factor for us on top of heavy duty tuition bills. And to be honest, I really would like to stop playing second and even third fiddle to the desires of my kids at some point! But the topic is on the table even if we haven’t yet sat down to discuss is. And so to DowntoEarth I think I second Lindz’ when she says, you matter too. And if your vision is clouded, it’s OK. But I also would have an honest conversation to fully understand the pros, cons and any hesitations on BOTH side before making a final decision. I always find that if we switch up the opportunities and take turns playing devil’s advocate, a clearer answer finds its way to the surface. </p>
<p>Quick question: How long does it take for one of those flat rate boxes to get from point A to point B stateside (i.e. Midwest to New England)?</p>
I just want her to do her best. As long as she is going to classes and spending a realistic time preparing for class that seems to me to get good enough for now. She just hasn’t accepted that yet. I will say the class that is her worst is one that she doesn’t like the professor and doesn’t understand her. May have something to do with it – not really interested perhaps…</p>
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