<p>Well #theoryson does not have a diagnosis of Aspergers at this point (who knows, he may get one yet) But he has the exact same logic as your S Missypie. It is not that he actually reasons it out like that, but the result is the same, he learned it and so then it is <em>done</em> and the papers, studying for tests, what have you all go out the window because in his mind he learned it and that is all there is. He is a real whiz at taking tests (as long as there is not actual writing needed) and loves to show off in a test that he knows the material, but someone has to put that test in front of him and give him an exact time to do it.
I really do worry about how he will do the work that is soon to be required of him. I just keep hoping (and I feel there is hope) that his brain-workings will mature/change/adapt as he grows up and takes more and more responsibility for himself. That is why we cheer so those moments of EDM, is it not?
Well Missy, the other shoe has dropped and now you know what needs to be worked on. Not that I am happy for you, I am not, but I am still waiting for the second thump</p>
<p>There are a whole lot of kids out there - probably quite a few here on CC - who judge their self worth by their grades. That’s a bad thing. But I wish I could import just a tiny bit of that to Son. In HS he knew he was a lot smarter than quite a few kids who had better grades than he did…and he didn’t care at all. </p>
<p>So yeah, two separate things to work on:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Pick the low lying fruit (do the stupid easy assignments!)</p></li>
<li><p>Get help with the fruit that’s out of his grasp.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>missypie, I can definitely relate to your situation. My S had disappointing grades in his 1st quarter, and I am not especially optimistic about his 2nd quarter grades (he is taking finals this week).</p>
<p>I also understand your disappointment in your son, for not telling you what was going on. In my case, my son consistently reported that everything was “fine”. The few grades that he did tell me about did sound good. What he failed to mention was the various homework and lab reports that he never bothered to turn in, and the (few) tests he tanked. To be fair, I think he was lying to himself too. He seemed to be genuinely surprised by his grades. You would think that a kid who is supposed to be good at math would understand that if you keep adding 0’s in to your grade, the grade will go down :o ).</p>
<p>As #theorymom said, I think about how much work I had to do while he was in HS to keep him on task, and I worry (“waking bolt upright in the middle of the night”) how he is able to handle it on his own.</p>
<p>He does have accommodations in place to address his disabilities, but I worry that he doesn’t “want” the success bad enough. He really likes his school, and he really wants to be there, but when push comes to shove, I worry that he doesn’t have the inner drive to dig deep and apply himself to the level that is required. Time will tell, I guess.</p>
<p>We should all get online in the middle of the night and chat, instead of lying in bed worrying about our children. We could sit around drinking hot milk and commiserating, instead of stewing alone in the dark.</p>
<p>Small consolation, I dealt with some of these not knowing issues last year and it affected my D’s college acceptances dramatically. Ultimately she ended up where she is happy and that is is the important thing. Anyway now you have ID’d the pitfalls, and can look out for them. I admire kids who are so smart yet have to struggle with issues and how they persevere. Its really hard OUT THERE now. Now I say to my D you cant overextend etc… and she says 'I know mom I learned my lesson from last year" We shall see. These kids are so young, and they grow up slower than we did adolescence extends into their 20’s.</p>
<p>Welcome Collagemom1! Good luck with D2’s search!</p>
<p>D2 has the opposite problem of many of your young sons. She is almost obsessive about doing well in class. She worries almost constantly about assignments, quizzes and tests. She will probably walk away from her athletic scholarship because she hated missing class even though she had perfect grades (and for other reasons). We have a hard time teaching her about balance. I loved TheAnalyst’s metaphor about juggling balls a few pages ago…ahh…if we can only get her to that place! All of these kids are sooooo very smart and they will figure things out academically and socially but not necessarily the way we want them to. I need to remind myself that every day!</p>
<p>missypie, that’s wonderful news on the scholarship (3 pages or so back). Boy does this thread move fast! S2 took his calc final today. He has a chemistry final tomorrow and biology on Thursday. He doesn’t plan to come home until Saturday, preferring his college town to our nothing-to-do suburb. My fear for him is that the material will just be too hard. He was always an average student in high school and is working his heart out to make his Bs. It will only get harder when some change majors and all those super smart students start applying themselves and pull up the curve. </p>
<p>It sounds like every single one of us worries, whether they are doing well or doing poorly; making great grades, average grades, or bad grades; participating in too active a social life or sitting in their room alone; and so forth. Something is wrong with that picture. I need to not worry/be happy regardless; repeat instructions to self until lesson is learned. I will be tested on this material.</p>
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<p>Son has a friend like that. Before a big project was due in HS, they’d both be up late - Son because he just started the project, his friend because she just couldn’t get it perfect enough Her mom and I always say that if you put the two of them in a blender you’d have the perfect student.</p>
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<p>Count me in.</p>
<p>off topic…any one else watching the sing off show that’s on right now? I know there are several of you with choir kids…all a cappella groups. Some very nice voices.</p>
<p>what channel? ^^^^</p>
<p>DragonLady
It was telling that #theoryson told me the entire school was walking around in a panic about finals, and it was not just him that was nervous. He says it is HARD there. And he has never had to work very hard (except in writing) so it is new for him. Asked him if he was studying and he said, “no one <em>studies</em>, mom” So I said well they don’t just pick it up by osmosis do they? Maybe study means something else to him than it does to me. I think if dragonson likes his school he’ll figure out how to stay there. That is what I am counting on with mine, because he does really like it there, despite the lack of eligible girls, the rigor of the coursework, the weather and the fact that he has no guaranteed housing next year. So I guess he’ll need to figure out how to stay there</p>
<p>NBC…sorry walked away from the computer to watch</p>
<p>A capella groups have been from BYU, Tufts and Lee and other noncollege groups.</p>
<p>I love that the middle-aged ladies just sang that Amy Winehouse rehab song… hahahahaha!!</p>
<p>Made me laugh, too! Boy, that lead singer from the USC alums had a very nice voice!</p>
<p>What a nice EC for college kids!</p>
<p>I’m starting my own “finals” week a bit early. We have an extended family gathering this weekend. I need to get some more baking done. I did get the cards out, house cleaned, mostly decorated, and gifts are all purchased–just need to bake some goodies. I did one batch of an old family recipe tonight–a date nut bread. My kids have grown to love it. They wouldn’t touch it when they were younger. DS just came down and asked if he could try it. </p>
<p>If I make it online for that middle of the night conversation tonight I’ll be sure to share some of the bread. It has very strong coffee in the batter. </p>
<p>I’m trying not to worry whether daughter will make her 8 am exam. She did tell me her roommate also had an 8 am exam so I’m guessing between the two of them they’ll make it.</p>
<p>Oh, Missypie, I am SO irritated with your son’s advisor! Good lord! Ok, I’ll finish reading–I am so relieved for you though. Game plan, Ho!</p>
<p>Oh, and I think we’re just going to ramp the bus up and get everyone to Missypie’s christmas extravaganza ASAP (wait until Missyson gets a load of US!): I’m bringing a delicious creamy dip with caramelized onions and spiced pecans. Bus leaves Portland tonight; the first movie we’re showing is “The Holiday”…next stop/treat/movie???</p>
<p>just stopping by to give missypie a hug - great news from the financial aid lady :)</p>
<p>welcome newcomers - there is plenty of room on this bus!</p>
<p>my bus snack: a round of brie bathed in warm, homemade caramel sauce, served with slices of Granny Smith apple and fresh baguette. (SJTH - can we have the dip recipe, please?)</p>
<p>The bus should be arriving in my area early tomorrow morning. I’m ready to hop on. I’m bringing cookies: Peanut Blossoms, my neighbor’s shortbread, my sister-in-law’s Thumbprint Cookies, Molasses Spice Cookies, Orange-Almond Biscotti, and maybe some other kinds too. And let’s watch Miracle On 34th Street, OK? Since we won’t have picked up everyone yet, there’s an empty seat next to George Clooney, right?</p>
<p>::Owlice and I will take care of the bar. I am thinking B52s would go well with these treats. Or maybe just a keg of Grand Marnier, very festive. Who’s bringing a guitar?</p>