<p>^ Wow. Not fun and clever at all imho. It says, “I couldn’t be bothered to find out what you would really like and take the time to go out and get it, wrap it, and send it to you… but I want the credit for an actual gift under the tree because sending you money is so impersonal… so here’s the money… you take time out of your schedule before Christmas to go to the bank, brave the Last-Minute-Shopping Mall Flu and do all the work, and prove to me that you did it.”</p>
<p>Not to criticize your mom – I’m sure it’s received in a different way given the family relationship and the history of her sending money to the kids, and I know that kids do love gifts of money… but whoever came up with the idea on TV was kind of dumb imho. They found a way to make a cash gift even less “thoughtful.”</p>
<p>ETA: missypie, maybe the two older kids could pocket the money and send her a picture of a gift they’ve already received and opened early. :)</p>
<p>geek_mom, criticize away, I’m with ya. All four grandparents are still alive and while they’re slowing down, they are still healthy and mobile. They’ve all been retired for many years. Both sets have pulled things that cause more work for me…H’s parents will send me a check and ask me to go shopping for H’s gift and wrap it…I never get it…I have three kids and work full time…They are retired and a busy day for them is one with a doctor’s appointment followed by lunch…but I’m suppoed to do the shopping and wrapping…*Dear Lord, please let me remember this when I’m a grandma!!<img src=“Of%20course,%20with%20my%20401K%20in%20the%20state%20it’s%20in,%20I’ll%20still%20be%20working%20full%20time%20at%20their%20age,%20so%20I’ll%20have%20a%20better%20excuse!” alt=“/I”></p>
<p>D just called; she has two big finals tomorrow (chemistry and adv. calculus). However, today she went over to the computer lab to download a video (which she’d spent 5 hours editing on Monday evening) onto a DVD. The video is a group project; since she was the only one who had a clue how to do this editing, she volunteered. </p>
<p>Guess what? The computer does not hold this kind of stuff in its memory and, of course, she had no other backup. So, today, she redid the whole thing. She said it took only 2 hours, but she’s still kind of stressed, since now she has to go and study for her tests. She’s done very well in both these classes, so she’s not all that worried, but will still put in several hours on each one doing practice problems, etc.</p>
<p>She’ll be done with the tests tomorrow at 4. The video is due Friday morning at 9:30. So, what’s the logical question a mom wants to ask? “Why didn’t you wait and edit the video after your final exams were over?”</p>
<p>Well, I bit my tongue and didn’t ask it, because I know she wouldn’t have liked it and it would have added to her stress. She’s really an excellent student, extremely disciplined, and always (really) gets top marks. So why does this kind of behavior (also not atypical) make me nuts?</p>
<p>I hate to keep hijacking this thread with Son’s issues but this is pretty funny. Husband is getting angrier and angrier at Son’s advisor for that C-…guess there will be one Dad in Christmas pjs at the TP party.</p>
<p>oh Z, I so wish for your daughter that it had been a joke in the same vein as my D’s little joke. </p>
<p>For some reason my mother also sent a check for me to purchase gifts for my kids this year. I wondered if she remembered how she disliked it when her MIL did that. The kicker was when I told her I was going to use it to purchase a gift certificate she balked and asked if there wasn’t something else I could get them. So now I’m going to choose one of the gifts I carefully picked out for them and say it’s from her and my dad. </p>
<p>I’ve started the bake-a-thon here. First batch of cookies are ready to come out. Need to go!</p>
<p>Back from the Mall. Got H some shirts and ties, cold weather running tights for D2, lots of stocking stuffers and a great $21.99 silver Christmas dress for D2 at Banana Repulic!!! I just love finding bargains!! :)</p>
<p>When my girls were in the American Girl doll phase, MIL would call and say she wanted to give them American Girl stuff…but she’d call maybe three days before Christmas…(and that is before we had an AG store here). After the first time I’d order extra AG stuff (in October) just hoping MIL would want to “give” it to them…it’s a Christmas miracle…</p>
<p>Z, I can sympathize. S2’s hardest final is tomorrow–the one class he thinks might be a C unless he does really well on this test. His email today, besides saying he got an A in English (yahoo), was that he was on his way to the craft center to make a tie dye t-shirt with a girl. I’m glad he is getting out and doing stuff, but I kind of wish this activity was not the day before his hardest final.</p>
<p>As far as Christmas presents go, those are pretty much a non-event in this house. I just don’t shop and noboby else in our family does either. Last year we went on a cruise over Christmas and I bought a small something for everybody and did stockings. I got exactly NOTHING, not even a token from H. H is picking up the cost of S’s football bowl tickets this year (and going along too with a big group–I’m passing). I sent S2 an external hard drive and a book in H’s luggage when he went to visit. I bought H a GPS for the car that he wanted (ordered online so didn’t have to brave the malls). I have asked for a very lightweight vacuum cleaner but not sure if H will actually get it. I don’t expect anything from anybody else–we stopped exchanging gifts with other relatives a long time ago. We make the holiday more about food than gifts, which is OK for us but we are probably modeling unusual social behavior if our boys ever do get a serious girlfriend.</p>
<p>That’s a good thing for all of us to remember to discuss with our kids as they get older and marry. Imagine my kids - the kids who’ve grown up with 20+ trees in the house - marrying someone whose family didn’t decorate…or the girl who always had 15 presents under the tree marrying he boy whose family didn’t make it about gifts…It’s all good as long as the couple talks about expectations before the holiday…otherwise there could be some rocky first Christmasses!</p>
<p>Ha! This is what my husband calls a trap! He would never buy me an appliance for fear I would tell people he bought me an appliance for Christmas.</p>
<p>Oh, I would love, love, love to get a light vacuum cleaner. The one I have is so heavy, it kills me. The reason this would be a gift is because my H doesn’t believe I need a new vacuum cleaner when I own a perfectly good one that works. He would therefore be very disapproving if I bought one for myself, even though I saw some for about $30 that looked fine. If he actually does buy one he would see himself as being very magnanimus because the very thought is frivolity itself to buy something one doesn’t really need. To his credit, he doesn’t spend much on himself either and it is very hard to find something he is willing to let me buy him. I just lucked out on the GPS thing this year.</p>
<p>I got my Uggs I picked them myself and my H is very proud. or shall I say relieved. I cnat have them until the 25th. but he still has my birthday LOL</p>
<p>I AM the girl whose family isn’t about Christmas gifts and H is the guy whose family is ALL about gifts. That is one of the reasons why we rarely go to visit family at Christmas and one reason that it isn’t good when we do. I would much rather get on the bus in my pj’s and do the tp thing.</p>
<p>H and I are talking about taking a family trip (just us and our kids, that is) at Christmas next year. If I can get out of the shopping it sounds perfect.</p>
<p>Well, just make sure that man is prepared. And by the way, we’re NOT middle aged. I refuse to use that term. Besides, I was at the Dr. today perusing a copy of my chart, where a nice Dr. describes me as a “young woman.” I think I love him…</p>
<p>My wife has a very nice young assistant who is a very religious Christian – went to a Christian college, married in college to avoid premarital sex (or rather, desperately felt the need for sex and got married?) – and she and her family don’t have presents at all. Christmas is about Jesus and family. Relative to the giftstravaganzas that we sometimes see, it is very refreshing and admirable. We’ve been modest about Chanukah presents and have become more modest over time. [Birthday presents on the other hand are not always modest. Last year it was a $1200 easel that I got for $750; this year a $40 set of speakers for the studio. I just ask and deliver what was requested]. </p>
<p>ShawbridgeSon is exhausted. One course was finished today. Two days of studying before finals on the weekend. Then a paper to finish. I hope he can generate enough energy for the finals. He told me he’s got a 100 average or a little higher in math and a top of the class average in econ and really wants to conclude the course at the same level, but with no energy, it could be tough. He has Provigil for when he gets really tired, but it tends to make him unhappy. The tiredness is the residue of a semester’s reading/writing for a severely dyslexic kid. My wife said her brother, now a dyslexic biology professor, would drag himself home after midterms and finals and fall asleep on the living room couch for two days, impervious to human life forms and still does the same after turning in grant applications. I suspect ShawbridgeSon will be the same.</p>
<p>GOOD HEAVENS
Go skiing for a day and come back to 3 pages
But what a treat to read here.
This is SUCH a good group. Even with our trials and tribulations, we are just nice people. (Though NOT middleaged)
So refreshing</p>
<p>For H it wasn’t about gifts but for me it was. We have moved to MY way. Each kid will get about 20 presents from us and then their stocking which will also be wrapped. I have about 18 presents for H. MIL will give us all money - I even know how much because she is predictable. Easily it will take us several hours to open the gifts. I enjoy it and I think after 25+ years so does H. I wish MIL gave us gifts instead of money but at her age she is not able to get out to the store any more. When my grandmother was at that age she gave us money to buy presents for each other. I wish my MIL would do something like that. For me it was enjoyable to spend someone elses money :)</p>