<p>Too funny Moda re our backgrounds. McSon definitely used to respond to me as an interrogator (because, let’s face it, I am. It’s always a trap ; ) JK.
But eventually I turned his own logic on him (as he HATES to be pegged or have me refer to a past action to define or ascribe motive to a present action/possibility) and said he was prejudicing his hearing of me instead of listening to me from my place of love and concern, and that I was sorry if my place of love and concern turned up like interrogation ; ) </p>
<p>The letter/email writing might be a good way to deepen the level of conversation you are, I think, wishing for. In retrospect, McSon and I had something of a breakthrough in our communication depth after he’d been in Europe last summer.
I made a deliberate effort to write him snail mail letters that would be waiting in whatever city his tour was due to arrive at. I used a future-past theme and had some fun with it, but also shared maybe more than in the day-to-day – you know, deeper thoughts and musings. I was surprised that I got back very long & detailed emails/letters (when and where possible). It kind of kicked things up to a new and franker level somehow.</p>
<p>One more thought as well – I get the short answers if it’s an unscheduled call, roomie is there, etc. We jointly determined he’d find a private location for a free and comfy chat, usually at the same time each Sunday. Your timing and the presence of others might be making a difference in the quality of the call. Worth asking!</p>
<p>All this talk of rooms and lotteries made me look at the website of D’s school to see when room assignments are made for next year; looks like early April. </p>
<p>That’s good, because as I mentioned, she seems to be drifting away from the friends she had last semester. She has a lot of on campus acquaintances, friends, but no one person or two she’d really like to room with.</p>
<p>Speaking of emails, my mom just emailed that she fell on some ice and broke her wrist. Typing one-handed was reportedly difficult, but it apparently it didn’t occur to her to just call. S1 just sent me an email to say he sent a sympathy email to grandma (must be something about our family). I’m going to call.</p>
<p>KMC - Yes! Yes! And yes! I will have to use the “coming from a place of love and concern” because really? I think I do let them (people in general perhaps) paint themselves into the proverbial corner. I appreciate the insight into my own behavior. Thank you. I did find the email I wrote him at the beginning of Jterm to be very therapeutic for myself, so… perhaps I will keep writing.</p>
<p>Which leads me to Analyst’s comment about writing being a form of control. I very much agree with that. I am a MUCH better editor than speaker and most true as well is, I feel heard.</p>
<p>Woody - totally agree with the lacking love on other threads. I think I must have been very lucky last year because I didn’t have the sense of such righteousness or soap boxing. However, perhaps there was but it was done in a more gracious manner. I rather like hearing differences of opinion, and I greatly respect it because I am very adept as seeing multiple points of view. However, I am not very good when the viewpoint is myopic and patronizing. Gets the dander a little ruffled. </p>
<p>Let’s just say I am glad to have this group here. We clearly don’t always agree, but we seem on the whole very supportive and it is very reassuring that there seems to be a pattern of two steps forward, one step back with a little bit of two steps backward with one step forward thrown in just to keep us on our toes.</p>
<p>PS… I am refusing to comment on any and all “deferred” maintenance out of fear of… there but for the grace of God go I (and my furnace).</p>
<p>S2 wrote an email to his dad yesterday, “because out of anybody I know, you would appreciate this the most” and his dad forwarded it to me. The subject line on his email was “good day.” He talked about a stand somebody had set up outside where the students could make themselves a cup of free hot chocolate or coffee on their way back to the dorm from classes, how good it tasted on a cold snowy day, his appreciation for whoever sponsors that stand, and his love for his college. He said he was positive his dad would have stopped and felt the same way about this little gift to his day. He ended with, “Well that’s about it, I was just thinking about you when I made my choco.” I can’t begin to do his phrasing justice as he is a far better writer than I. He doesn’t talk about anything other than the hot chocolate experience, but it tells me more than enough about what is going on in his life.</p>
<p>It was a rough last week and weekend at the sabaray house. D dropped out of sorority recruitment over the weekend, I think mainly due to fear of total rejection. Yesterday was bid day and she received a “snap bid” to join one of the sororities she really had liked. Happily, she came to her senses and accepted the bid. Every girl she’s been friendly with or done things with this past semester is pledging and I can’t tell you how anxious I was she was going to slide back into her protective shell. It would have been a rough semester trying to build new relationships and activities. </p>
<p>Analyst, so sorry about your mother! H was just over snowblowing my mother’s driveway after doing ours- would be a great day to work from home but unfortunately I didn’t bring any files with me. And they’re calling for more snow this weekend. I thought Virginia was a temperate state!</p>
<p>sabaray, I’m glad the bid worked out for your D. My D’s bid day is this Friday. She is all or nothing for a particular sorority. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if it’s “no”. But assuming it’s “yes”, it will culminate a really fun season of “rush dates”. She has loved this as a way to meet people on campus. And not that she’s boy crazy, but I’m glad to see her making new female friends. She’s concerned, though, about a couple of her friends who have been shyer about the rush process and feels it may hurt their odds. There will be a lot of crossed fingers around campus, for sure. I hope your D really enjoys this new venture – congrats to her.</p>
<p>I hope she enjoys it as well. She has so many male friends (and yes, they are just friends) that I too will be glad to see her making some female friends. I had to laugh- her facebook exploded yesterday afternoon with over 50 new “friends”. I hope your D’s bid works out- keep us posted!</p>
<p>The analyst–sorry about your mom–she sounds very self-sufficient! And I love your S’s story–there is a lot of nice reading between the lines there.</p>
<p>We got the bill for our new electrical meter/box/buried line emailed last night. Just as we had processed it, S2 called. He had crashed our 6 month old car… his fault. sigh. He goes back to school (Winter term) Saturday.</p>
<p>sabaray, there is a reset button on your garbage disposal. Clear out whatever is blocking the disposal if anything, then press the reset button. It’s probably a little red button somewhere on the disposal. Look under the sink.</p>
<p>Modadunn-----The truth is, one of the reasons I want him to make the team (which will go into full practice next week) is so I have an excuse to go and visit him and meet some of these people, take them all out to eat and just stand once again on the sidelines of his life. I just want to see it unfold a little bit----</p>
<p>----ok, that line brought on the tears… how true…</p>
<p>missiepie - what gets me is that those type of information sessions are always run during the school day…eliminating the attendance of the working parent. That mistake is up there with the school office calling me at my home number to pick up a sick child when both the home and work number are listed…</p>
<p>sabaray, that is fabulous news for your D. Being in a frat will make her life much more enjoyable than the alternative at her school. I’m sure she will love it.</p>
<p>I talked to my mom. She broke it walking home from a girl’s basketball game (lives surrounded by campus) and was alone because everybody else stayed to see the men’s game. After sitting on the ice for awhile she decided it was only her wrist and she could make it home without calling anybody–she did have her cell phone with her. I convinced her to take an ibuprofen. She generally refuses to take pain medicine (won’t even allow the dentist to use novacaine for ordinary fillings), because she believes she should be able to control her pain through setting her intentions. But I could tell she was hurting (bruised in her hip from the fall), so I convinced her an advil really wasn’t for pain but to help the swelling, which the docs would need her to do for the cast to fit properly. She’s getting the cast this morning since it was swollen enough they had to wait.</p>
<p>So glad to hear about the sorority bids… will hope good things for all the D’s. Not sure I feel the same way about fraternities because men tend to bond over things less emotionally driven, but even that stereotype is probably less true than my imagination allows it. </p>
<p>Also failed to mention yesterday that I am sorry to hear about your Mom’s wrist Analyst, but I did find the whole email chain of communication pretty funny. My H is the same way about medicine and I too always use the “it’s not about the pain, it’s about the swelling” argument. Me? I stock pile all prescriptions so I would tell Mom to please fill the 'script and send it to me for my birthday. :)</p>
<p>D16 apologized this morning for her behavior the other day but then went on to tell me how it was still really my fault. How is THIS an apology? Admittedly, my laughter didn’t help matters much. I do not see Mother of the year in my future - ever.</p>
<p>Sabaray – sometimes there is an allen wrench type thing that fits into the bottom of the disposal so you can manually crank anything that’s blocking the motor out. I am really good at fixing garbage disposals. However, I now no longer grind potato peels and throw left over spaghetti in the garbage.</p>
<p>Sorry about the crashed car. I trust he’s okay (unless you’ve strangled him)?</p>
<p>Our Parent University started at 6:30 pm which is early but better than during the day. But by the time my current 8th grader is a senior, they’ll probably ban me from the school. The casual misinformation is just inexcusable. At 8th grade parent night, they said that the AP weighting is 1.5 and I thought, “could I possibly have been wrong all these years?” Then at the AP session, they put the chart up on a screen and it said 1.25 (which is what I knew it was) but then SAID a different number. Here are all these parents who’ve gotten themselves there, tryng to figure out the best classes for their child, and the folks at the school can’t even memorize the correct weighting. The GCs also gave the audience the distinct impression that most schools give AP credit for test scores of 3, 4 and 5.</p>