<p>missypie: I am so sorry that your son has had such a rough time, and his school has been so inept in helping him. I have sworn off posting on this board, but just had to jump back in to say I’m thinking of you and your son. I wish you the calm strength that will be terrifying to the school!</p>
<p>My funny reason for not posting often: I have a 16yo dd. I asked a question on CC to help her, and got many wonderful answers. I also expressed my opinion that I wasn’t sure that what she wanted to do was a good idea, but I was hoping she’d figure that out by herself. So, she googles her question, and gets…of course! my thread on CC about her!! So, she is on the board occasionally, and my cover is blown. Has that happened to you all?</p>
<p>My '09 daughter will be home from her school 3,000 miles away for spring break…can’t wait!!</p>
<p>I heard that shoe drop, so I dropped in to check on you. I am so sorry MissyPie. So sorry, BUT the glass half full part of me says, this is good, this is better than him being where he seems not yet ready to be. This is not the end, see it as a beginning and a time to get a better understanding of what he needs to become the brilliant success he will most definitely be.</p>
<p>: hugs missypie, then gives her a stiff shot of something, and maybe a shotgun for a spring thema and louise joyride to a certain LD office at a certain LAC…</p>
<p>Ok, just fantasizing for you. But truly sendin you and Missy son the light.</p>
<p>Missypie, I’m so sorry you and your son have had to go through this. Here’s hoping today and every day thereafter each get a little better as you and your son problem-solve through to a more promising environment.</p>
<p>shawbridge, I bet your S will do great on his mid-term. He sounds fully prepared.</p>
<p>Missypie: So sorry to hear about what you and your son are going through. Good luck and I hope things improve dramatically for you. I too would be more the lionese with the cub type on something like this.</p>
<p>Shawbridge: Your son sounds like he is prepared. I know my D always second guesses herself when prepping for exams. Wishing him good luck with the test.</p>
<p>Missypie…ugh! So sorry for what is happening with S. You have tried so hard to be proactive and help S be successful at this school. I admire you for your hard work and perseverance. Shame on the school for not following through with their promises to help S. I hope he is safe and able to understand that he can move forward in another environment.
{{{HUGS}}}</p>
<p>yes, let me add my congrats on the interviews. And historymom, NCAA?? Way to go for your young lady! It’s so wonderful when they can shout out with pride: “I did it!” It may start with tying their own shoes, but what a delight to see what directions that confidence of mastering things can go.</p>
<p>Ive been in Az having a mini retreat with my two sisters and mostly been keeping up via my iphone but had to get online to offer a huge ((((Hug)))) to Missy and her family. It undoubtedly affects everyone and I am fuming at this school. From the academic advisor who seemed less than helpful and supportive from the beginning to the peer tutor who was essentially clueless on the bigger picture stuff this kid needed to the teachers, who were so nonresponsive that a kid with Aspergers could feel their lack of empathy. Seriously, what does that say? So so frustrating and disappointing. What I find most discombobulating is this is a kid who was hugely successful academically in HS and had there been adequate support, perhaps things would have been very different. I am so so sorry Missy, but you can fee confident that you have done all that you could while also trying to let the kid fly. Crash landing notwithstanding, he absolutely knows he has a lioness on his side.</p>
<p>S called the other day and there was a real sense of sadness in his voice when i asked him how it was going saying it was really hard to go from a 3sport athlete to a no-sport athlete. He still loves his classes and the school, but for him that part of his life is really missing. They don’t have his sport as either a club or a true intramural, but he will figure it out and regroup. It’s just hard to hear your kid wistful and sad. I was glad I had my sisters around in that moment as really I just want to give the kid a big hug.</p>
<p>As an aside - S took AP Calc AB in HS, got the five and went on to take Calc II first semester (ended up with a B and is glad to have to never take Math again), but I think the key here is there was a study group manned by math majors that met once or twice a week to help with problem sets which a lot of kids took advantage of, including S. And then too… there’d be other students there so there seemed to be a lot of support for those who wanted or needed it. Sometimes S said he would go just to confirm he knew it and of course, in those times, it ALWAYS helps to teach what you know to someone else so you understand it better. In that respect, while a great academic school, it also seems very learning cooperative in that no one is holding back hoping for others to fail, which is nice.</p>
<p>And oh… the weather here in Phoenix has been absurd. Coldest day in history on Monday, cold on Tuesday, reasonable yesterday (which was nice) and while it’s supposed to be nicer today, I leave at noon and will hit up the basketball banquet as soon as I return. Also, D is taking her drivers test today. Just between you and me, I will be surprised (and slightly scared) if she passes!</p>
<p>Moda, a year ago we were packing for the Grand Canyon expedition. The morning we hiked down it was 28 degrees at the rim (and 88 at the bottom) - glad we weren’t there during this year’s cold spell!</p>
<p>hey Modadunn - Sorry to interupt the festiivties. I thought you were going in April.
Big news here… D is bringing home new BF for a couple of days on spring break. This should be interesting. D is very happy after experiencing a couple of “bad boyfriends” in HS.
As an aside, she told me of a GF of hers at school who is interested in a particular guy. Said guy frequently rants about the uselessnes of relationships and is just interested in “hooking up” with this girl. He actually said, “Well, we’re just hooking up but it’s an exclusive hook-up.” D told her GF to run for the hills. This could be one of those relationships that sucks the life out of you for 4 years. Just sounds nasty to me…</p>
<p>Missypie - Are you going to pick him up today or is he staying for MD visit? Do you think you will be able to speak with admin people? Please don’t feel obliged to answer - just want to offer support.</p>
<p>Missypie, I’ve been following your son’s story and at each update, I’m shocked at the school’s response. It is appalling that your son has been treated this way, I would be furious. It sounds like you are strong and handling it as well as possible. Keep up the good fight, there are lots of us cheering you on.</p>
<p>I was in the middle of typing a long message about peer mentors and responsibility, and Vista decided to restart my computer (thanks Microsoft!). Anyway, I just wanted to say that student peer mentors could be any of your kids, and it’s unfair to blame them for the failings of a college administration. I’m sure most peer mentors are friendly kids who want to help, but coaching an Aspie is way above their pay grade. They don’t know enough to help, and they don’t even know enough to know that they are in over their heads. Blame the administration or the counseling department, for trying to put a bandaid on an ax wound, but don’t blame the well-meaning peer mentors.</p>
<p>(Newbies, this comes from the mother of Missypie’s separated-at-birth twin. Two months ago, I was the one getting the “Come get your son” call. As with Missypie, the counselors at Fang Jr’s school assured me they could give my son the help he needed. They assigned him a peer mentor. They kept telling me everything was just dandy, up until they discovered Fang Jr had been falling apart for months.)</p>
<p>College administrators and counselors are about to have to learn a lot more about Asperger’s. Missyson and Fang Jr are just the leading edge of a whole wave of teenage Aspies graduating from high school and trying to head off to college.</p>
<p>MissyPie (and Cardinal Fang) – I’m so sorry for what your kids have had to go through, and for the stress it has put you under. I wonder if it might not be a kindness to post a new thread for parents of Aspie kids heading off to college next year or the year after – a “Had I but known” kind of thread, because the learning you’ve done is mighty painful on the job experience, and parents of the class of 2014 or 2015 may not be following this thread.</p>
<p>missypie, just want to add another pillar of support, I know there are other 10’ers who lurk here and we all are pulling for you and your S. When he gets home I hope you can piece together what the best options will be for the future.</p>
<p>I also want to add ditto to Cardinal Fang and Fang Jr, I was not in the midst of reading when that crisis happened but caught up afterwards, support you and all the others during this year. It really is a benefit you are giving to us followers to see all the highs and lows everyone is going through.</p>
<p>missy and cardinal-So sorry your families are facing these challenges. I know one of you mentioned that the tuition at Landmark was not feasible, but note that they are only a 2 year school, and do also have summer programs for new or visiting students to help prepare them for college life at their home schools. A friend’s daughter (LD not Aspie) attended Landmark for a summer session during HS and then full-time her college freshman year and they can’t say enough good things about the programs. The student then transferred to a 4 year school as a soph and is doing quite well. Perhaps a phone call to find out more about their programs could lead to you to more possibilities and resources. Good luck, I know there is a great option out there for your great kids. Hang in there and keep looking forward, there are sunny days ahead.</p>
<p>This afternoon I spoke with someone at the school who is neither incompetent or a ******bag. Yea! Ironically, I had asked him to attend the January meeting and he declined. He said several times during our conversation that he wished he’d attended the meeting. Son should be home tonight.</p>
<p>Yay missypie! Any progress must feel good at this point. And I’m sure it will be reassuring to have S under your roof.</p>
<p>All that said, I continue to be aghast at the situation. Do I understand correctly that if this one person had been in the room things might have turned out differently? Is he the only competent person on their staff?! How frustrating that must be for him, to not be able to count on his colleagues to not completely %#@%^ things up!</p>
<p>Not that I really feel sorry for him, of course. After all, it was his call not to attend the meeting. Oy.</p>
<p>He has basically voluntered to take Son under his wing (should he decide to return after break, which isn’t certain at all), encouraging Son to bypass the Academic Success and Disablities people. He has volunteered to do what we were *begging *the Academic Success and Disablities people to do. It’s always hard when you realize that your colleagues aren’t doing their job, or are doing a really poor job.</p>