<p>I’ve not been following CC – we’re spring breaking in a lovely village on the coast of Mexico. Snorekeling, sea kayaking, walking on the beach and just vegging out, except for ShawSon who has 2 papers to revise and one to write and ShawDaughter who is doing abs workouts (for dance) and working to ensure her tan is even. </p>
<p>Two nights ago, I had fallen asleep and her some teen girls screaming in my sleep (assumed it was kids on the beach partying). ShawSon woke me from my semi-slumber and said, “Dad, it looks like something bad has happened. It looks like a body has washed up on the beach in front of our condo building. I’m going out to see if I can help.” Turns out it was a man in his early fifties who had been a dive instructor and was snorkeling in the bay at night. He may have had a heart attack in the water and, despite the CPR attempts by a number of people, remained dead. The screams were his two teenage daughters. They were staying in the condo building next to ours. We brought them some food yesterday and then today I helped the mother with some logistics – plane flights and insurance and then we took the three of them out to dinner tonight so that they could have normal conversations. Two days ago, they were having an idyllic family vacation and then it became a nightmare. Now they are shipping the dad’s remains back (Mexico makes you cremate, apparently). It could have happened to almost anyone around. Really scary.</p>
<p>Oh how awful Shawbridge.
Whenever we thinks we may have problems, something like this happens and sheds some light on our own good fortunes. How terrible for that family.</p>
<p>Shawbridge - What a blessing you are to that family. Don’t know if you are a Christian or not - but I love it when God uses me to help someone. Maybe you feel the same.</p>
<p>On a college note: Odessagirl is home for Spring Break. She is seeing friends and working. She is also applying to different places for a summer job because her current job will probably only give her 15 hours a week and she would love to have more hours - well, more money. She and her current roommate will room together again next year - they are very compatible living together. No problems at all, which is great.</p>
<p>shawbridge, that is such a tragic story. I’m glad you and your family stepped up to help this grieving family in their time of need and did what you could.</p>
<p>shawbridge so many times people don’t know what to do in a situation like this so do nothing. You and your family showed an impressive level compassion and human kindness. Bless you!</p>
<p>I credit ShawWife who went up and asked if there was anything we could do and volunteered me to help with stuff. DTE and historymom, I think lots of people felt that this was a terrible tragedy and wanted to do something but felt uncomfortable disturbing the grieving family and didn’t ever ask. There was also a Dutch woman who is fairly blunt and matter-of-fact, who went up to the family. But lots of people stayed back. The mom told that even though she ended up having to make the calls, it made her much more comfortable to do it with my sitting there (and giving her a little guidance). Not obvious that I did much, but we wouldn’t have known what would help except by asking.</p>
<p>eddieodessa, we are Jewish. Interestingly, over the years, I’ve drifted away from the sense that there is a God who personally intervenes in the world – much more toward a general sense that there is or may be some force that created our world. So, I wouldn’t have a sense that God was acting through me but ShawWife and I do have a sense that we should do the right thing and reach out to someone in real need. Here this poor woman was still on the beach where everyone else was snorkeling and having life go on as usual and her world was wrenched from her. Also, I hope this kind of thing sets a good example for our kids. ShawDaughter was great – she engaged the two teenage daughters in conversation all evening. The family is leaving today with the husband/father’s ashes. Obviously, there is nothing that we could do to fix the problem, but I hope they feel like they are not alone in the world when bad things happen.</p>
<p>Shawbridge, that is just an awful thing for your kids to have to see, but you’re right, they have witnessed their parents stepping up to do the right thing and learned not to be afraid to acknowledge pain and tragedy. Of course, it seems they already knew that, as your ShawS said he was going out to “try to help.” Good people, you Shaws.</p>
<p>shawbridge~I believe that your family’s presence helped them feel they weren’t alone, because the way you all responded by really being with them, insured that they in fact were not alone, when this tragic event happened…</p>
<p>how beautiful for your daughter to engage the girls in conversation, providing a normal to hold onto…</p>
<p>We’re back from our Spring Break trip. I was supposed to be off work for the next two days but I had to come in to get some urgent things done.</p>
<p>Son has a psychiatrist appointment this afternoon. After that we’ll have a better idea of whether he’ll be returning to school or not.</p>
<p>During our trip it started sinking in that it might actually be a tremendous struggle for Son to get a college degree. Did y’all see the post from a mom who has a sophomore Aspie at an Ivy who is not doing well? </p>
<p>Because Son is so bright, I’ve always thought that there was no question that he could do well in college, then in grad school. It is really depressing to think of all the “dim bulbs” that all of us know who do just fine in college…they may not have great GPAs, but they pass their classes and finish in 4-5 years without ever being sent home or being on academic probation. Yet our super-bright Aspies are doing quite poorly. </p>
<p>If you have an extremely talented son who gets the lead in all the school musicals, and he decides to try to make it in NYC, you know that no matter how talented he is, the odds of him being cast in a Broadway musical are exceeding slim. I am starting to feel like those are the odds of an Aspie being a success at a four year college living away from home…only no one will talk about it out loud.</p>
<p>Shawbridge, I was completely blown away by the interruption to your family vacation, but I can only say thank you for being the kind of people whom others can feel safe with. I can only imagine how grateful that wife must have felt for you to help with the logistics in the middle of such deep grief. Such kind heartedness will not go unrewarded in this life. You have some excellent karma in your future, I am sure. </p>
<p>Missy… just because that school isn’t the ideal place for your guy doesn’t mean it can’t be done by him. Maybe not at this school and maybe closer to home, but don’t underestimate how many kids don’t survive freshman year who don’t have Aspergers, meaning it’s not a slam dunk for anyone out there. It might not be a traditional path, but there are roads to pave even if they aren’t quite on the mapquest yet.</p>