<p>:: sends Missypie hugs </p>
<p>That’s the darned thing about kids – their adventures aren’t always the way WE picture them, but inevitably, with enough hindsight, we eventually find that there were treasures on their diverging paths and we can never know that they’d have found them on OURS.</p>
<p>So interesting to follow some of the HS '09 experiences here as they finish their first year in college. My own D1 (very conscientious) is finding the academic demands to be quite challenging. There’s not enough time in the day, and she’s not a partier. It makes you wonder whether extremely rigorous undergraduate experiences are all they are cracked up to be. Our kids are in this for the long haul - not to get burned out before they turn 21! Of course it is rewarding for them to learn that they can rise to the challenge and succeed. But kudos to those students who are able to recognize that another learning environment (perhaps less stressful) would be better for them.</p>
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<p>Maybe the younger siblings will learn from the experiences of the older ones. When Son’s problems at school first reared their head, D (class of '11) said, “Mommy, are the schools on my list hard? I don’t think I want to go to a hard school.” That statement may make her sound lazy, but she actually knows herself well. She makes her As based on completed homework, class participation, group projects, perfect behavior, etc…some of her test grades can be scary. She knows that college will be mostly test grades and she knows that’s not her strength. There’s really nothing wrong with wanting a less stessful environment.</p>
<p>Yes, missypie, so true that there’s really nothing wrong with wanting a less stressful environment. My D2 is also taking note of her older sister’s experience. There is no doubt (in my mind, anyway) that she will follow a different course. Also, not out of laziness. But D2’s sense of balance is different (and in some ways perhaps healthier). Though only time will tell …</p>
<p>Just to put my .02 in (and it’s probably not even worth that 
)</p>
<p>D chose a much harder school than S did. D watched S skate through college and I’m not sure why but was convinced that she wanted a more challanging place. She got it. She’s doing well (A’s and B’s) but she works for it. S may need to work next year in grad school 
as this time he went with the harder school. D does take some ribbing from her classmates as to the amount of work she does but she takes it in stride and seems to have her priorities right. Don’t get me wrong. On Friday night through Saturday night I think she parties with her friends - come Sunday morning however she’s back at the books!</p>
<p>I know for a fact that my oldest dictated some of the choices made by the youngers. Both the two younger kids (albeit benefitting from a different academic environment as well) made much better choices about getting homework done, etc to benefit their grades. They saw first hand that they didn’t want to always be behind or fighting to catch up. Son did choose a really rigorous college, but it “fits” him. For him to not have as much on his plate is a recipe for disaster in that idle hands are the devils play thing. But now with a little more hindsight, D25 is finally emerging as a true student and working hard to stay on a path that will lead her to where she wants to be (and gives her a greater perspective to the value of this based on where she’s been). What will D2 decide? Well, we still will have to wait and see but I honestly think that the being the oldest has as its upside getting to do it all first and as its downside getting to do it all first.</p>
<p>Missy - Congrats to son. He will do great. And that he is withdrawing vs not being invited to return leaves him options for the future. Lots of them. </p>
<p>Analyst - Congrats to your son!! What an exciting opportunity for him!! And in this market? Kudos to him!</p>
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<p>Everyone in my crowd in college but me was a theatre major. I assume that theatre majors study hard at some schools, but at mine…here I was trying to memorize the veins and arteries of the fetal pig, and they were on the floor imagining that they were warm cookies melting in the oven. I was slogging through statistics and they were practicing drawing beard stubble on each other for makeup class. Even at the same school, some students have a much more challenging course load than others.</p>
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<p>Too funny just in the imagining!</p>
<p>I will say that the studio art/theater majors have a time management issue because so much more goes into things than class time. What concerns me about son wanting to joint major is the time needed for studio work compounded by the time needed to be in labs - to say nothing of research. And no, we have no interest in a 5th year at 50+K a year. However, I will also say this… it is probably “easier” for my kid to memorize the veins and arteries of a fetal pig than it would be for him to melt like a cookie in front of any kind of audience. </p>
<p>When he decided to not play basketball his senior, he was “dared” to try out for one of the student directed plays. And since his senior speech was getting to know people on a different level than beyond who they were friends with or how you saw them, he definitely was inclined to take his own advice. After rehearsals began, it was definitely his opinion that it was much MUCH harder to perform on a stage in front of an audience than it was to play in front of a crowd any day. It was a great experience for him and he was actually pretty good in his role, but it was definitely completely out of what I would call a comfort zone for him. So … here’s to melting cookies! </p>
<p>Now I am hungry.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, hope it is getting warmer and the spring flowers are blooming.
MS–we just returned from Victoria where we went for a late Anniversary trip and I like your reference to LC–I found Leonard before nearly anyone and still love him. He has some nice books of poetry out.
You all have been busy! and sounds like things are falling into place for everyone.
My S actually initiated a text the other day. Oh–and, yes, he is rooming with a girl next year. Not his GF but still. As his grandmother asked, “where will they change their clothes?” DH found this funny as I guess it is not an issue these days (?). I am stunned and amused as when D looked at schools in 2001 I had a fit over the close living quarters of the males/females. The silver lining is that IF he and his GF of over 2 years now do break up at least he will have tons of great support. His best female friend is the RA and will live next door and they have an shared balcony. The athletes he and his roomate share a balcony with right now has already caused issues re:parties and drinking and the students are considered resp. if it is their balcony even if they were not part of it.
My computer sounds like a car idling. dang.</p>
<p>Getting ready to leave for the weekend. Heading to a friend’s lake home for some scrapbooking fun and somes hikes around the lake. Lots of good fun, food, wine and friends. Have a nice weekend everyone!</p>
<p>Congrats to Missypie S!</p>
<p>Enjoy your weekend, NM, ours was fabulous in Napa (all hail the empty nest…).</p>
<p>Sunday we will be taking a road trip (H, me, D17, her boyfriend, and D14, ) to Austin to see In the Heights, picking Son up on the way. D17 has never seen Son’s school. Should be an action packed weekend…add in one D’s officer auditions, the other D’s talent show oh yes and D’s ACT scores come out on Monday. Wish I had some anti-anxiety meds stockpiled somewhere.</p>
<p>Have a great scrapbooking weekend, NM. I envy the folks who can do that. It’s nice that I can use the “I practice law full time and just don’t have time to scrapbook” excuse, because I’d be horrible at that kind of thing, no matter how much time I had.</p>
<p>MissyPie
Excellent. I understand your feelings about it, but it is also a relief, no?
One step and one day at a time.
As I shared, #TS is happy and feels like he is doing OK, but I have every reason to think he may not be returning because he cannot seem to telll when he is doing well and when he is not - at least he can’t seem to tell me - so there is every possibility that he will not have done well enough to warrant a return in the fall. I have come to grips with that and have decided it s not the worst thing in the world and we can deal with it (it will be way harder on him - he truly loves being at his college)
There are worse things in life than having your kid stumble in college. I know you know this and I am preaching to the choir, but I so understand the feelings you are having.</p>
<p>I won’t feel true relief until he turns in a major paper that is due on the last day of class and I have him home.</p>
<p>Of course, what’s good and bad is that I can tell from his Facebook postings that he is developing a decent social life.</p>
<p>Oh, #theorymom…I hope he is doing well! I know how nervewracking this time of year was for you last year! Sending good thoughts and prayers!</p>
<p>missypie…scrapping really makes me relaxed. It is my only creative outlet right now. I am not as organized as I usually am for a trip away but oh, well! Getting picked up at 4 and hoping to miss the rush hour through Minneapolis. Can hardly wait for that first glass of wine! Cheers!</p>
<p>Oh, NM, you were probably the one who was so good with scissors in elementary school. I didn’t even know there were left handed scissors until I was in junior high. It was so humiliating for me whenever we’d have to use scissors in school…here I was this meticulous, perfectionist little girl, butchering whatever it was I was supposed to be cutting out!</p>
<p>I have neither the patience nor the “eye” for crafts. Tried many and none of them “took”
for me. I wish I could.</p>
<p>OTOH, I am in the middle of a big “cleanout” in my house, which I LOVE to do.</p>
<p>This is funny.</p>
<p>[Online</a> University Cracks Down On Rowdy Online Fraternity | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source](<a href=“http://www.theonion.com/articles/online-university-cracks-down-on-rowdy-online-frat,1214/]Online”>Online University Cracks Down On Rowdy Online Fraternity)</p>
<p>The Onion piece was great! I sent that along to some other parents I know.</p>
<p>Love crafts. Cleaning – not so much. Also don’t always finish the crafts… I’m ADD when it comes to crafts. I start great but then something else takes my interest and it’s off to that. Drives H CRAZY. So I have a lot of started but yet to be finished projects. Someday I’ll finish them… I think… </p>
<p>FallGirl - perhaps you can list some tips. I start but then get distracted when I am cleaning…</p>