<p>H went to pick up D will be home tomorrow. Mother’s Day is never much fun. H hates that stuff.
I am sorry for someone who is in such pain to end their life. everyday is so special.
Missy and CF and all, I wish for a world that appreciates differences and accepts them. the world expects everyone to be so cookie cutter so boring. My friend has a daughter who is aspergers but not doing well in the school. She said her D perceives that everyone makes fun of her in school and hates her.sweet kid. drives me crazy.
you should be proud of your kids for all their successes(sp?) while struggling to fit into a cookie cutter world, with out the support they deserve and had been promised. They are so lucky to have you.</p>
<p>A friend reminded me the other day that, as parents, we are only as happy as our least happy child. That certainly feels like a recurrent theme in my life. But reading over the last few days posts, I’m reminded of how fortunate my family is, even if it often doesn’t feel that way. Best wishes to everyone here.</p>
<p>We also have a teenage relative with apparent Asbergers, which is contributing to a pretty lonely high school experience. Fortunately the parents are wonderful, and provide lots of unconditional love and support.</p>
<p>Z- hugs to you. i dont know what to say.</p>
<p>it appears that we may be offering to take in our struggling 22 year old relative. he is clinically depressed and lives with his mom out of state. his dad died several years ago. athough he is enrolled in college and shares an apt with friends, he has quit going to class and come back home to mom. Refuses medication and therapy. Just sleep and video games. </p>
<p>My DH feels like our home might be a better environment. On one level I agree, but not sure we can provide what this young man needs. Not even sure what he needs.</p>
<p>It seems that so many in our generation are stepping into the role of caregivers for extended family members. Good luck, eggmom, in figuring out what role, if any, you and DH can play in the life of your young relative. In our family, we are deeply involved in caring for an elderly shut-in parent - a commitment involving several days/week out of town for me. Graduate school doesn’t prepare you for this, but the work in many ways feels more worthwhile than a fancy paying job.</p>
<p>Downtoearth, I sometimes think girls with Asperger’s have a rougher time than guys. It is a lot easier for a middle school or HS boy to get by with being poorly groomed and not dressing in a stylish manner…that could describe about half of the male population of any freshman class. Lots of the guys are extremely into video games, and they also have good company among the neurotypical population. But I think girls are harder on other girls who don’t dress/look/act like everyone else. D’s girlfriend with Aspergers is homeschooled and I certainly understand the decision.</p>
<p>Our high school absolutely slays me. We win district in virtually every sport, then lose in the first round of the playoffs. Baseball…ranked #1 in the state all season, made it up to #2 in the natonal polls…out in the first round of the playoffs! I think we need to hire a psychologist for the whole lot of them. (Last year we were national champions in two things: Drum line and drill team!)</p>
<p>hey all! We survived freshman year! It was great – beyond my expectations – D rallied from her horrendous senior slide, found a potential major after taking a core requirement, has her first official boyfriend, joined a sorority, and made an athletic team. I am beyond relieved and happy. I am going to pick her up tomorrow morning and somehow get all of that STUFF back into the car.</p>
<p>I do want to share last summer I read on here to write a little message on their pillowcase in Sharpee permanent marker; I did; apparently, she did not see it for a few weeks and when she did, she was soooo surprised!! So, thank you, to the person who shared that little tip. I took a Sharpee to move in day and when she was carrying boxes in, I made up her bed and wrote on the pillowcase.</p>
<p>To those who are helping out young people in their extended family – if we are able to do so, it is a worthy gesture and one that can turn a life around for the better.</p>
<p>Love the Sharpie message idea!</p>
<p>S managed to get his stuff in storage, complete that last 30 minutes of community service, finish his finals, get to the airport (arranging the shuttle is a whole 'nother story), and make it home in good spirits. #theorymom, thank you for the storage information - S wound up using them. Now he’s busy connecting with his homies, both real and virtual.</p>
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<p>I wasn’t clear on how you meant this, dte, but that “perceives” suggests maybe her parents think she is wrong. I doubt she is. I’m sure the other girls in her school do make fun of her. Aspergirls have a miserable time in school.</p>
<p>Not Asperger’s, but a student I know who trans-gendered in high school had a pretty rough time of it despite the gay-straight alliance and various non-discrimination statements. College has turned out to be a lot more accepting for him.</p>
<p>that is how she said it to me. I know my D generalizes like that too. so I didnt know if it was part of that. It is hard for my friend to wrap her brain around something being"wrong" with her D. but she is slowly coming to terms with the realization. her H died 5 years ago and she has since married a wonderful guy, who loves the kids and they will do the right thing. What can or should she do to help? Or what can I do?</p>
<p>Dte, I’d suggest specific social skills training for the Aspergirl, either from her mother or from professional. I don’t know which training materials to get, but a Google search should turn up some. I remember, as a teenager, realizing I must be doing something wrong to make all the other kids make fun of me, but not having the vaguest idea what I was doing wrong or how to change it.</p>
<p>Eggson is home. He is veeeerrrrrry tired, but also very nice to be around. He has not checked his final grades yet because he said he didnt want to stress out any more right now. </p>
<p>We had a long (def: more than 20 minutes) conversation (more multisyllable words than single) about his classes and degree plan and possible switch to a new adviser. DH walked in and asked S to run an errand. “Well, can I finish talking to Mom first?” </p>
<p>Believe me, this is a first. “Talking to Mom” is better than driving down to the corner store? Whoohoo!</p>
<p>Sounds wonderful, eggmom.<br>
Your son’s question to his dad is better than any line a Hallmark card writer could come up with.</p>
<p>D informs me she is all packed … but she has 2 exams on Tuesday, and doesn’t come home til Wednesday …</p>
<p>Warning: Mom Rant Ahead. </p>
<p>I don’t know how many of you have online chats with your kids but I think I’ve had my last one. So frustrating. Just out of the blue come these comments like “I think I’m going to take Latin”. What? Where is that coming from? “To understand the roots and origins of language.” </p>
<p>OK. So what would you be dropping? Conversational French that your advisor thought was a great idea? You’re so close to completing a minor in French and gosh, it would be great to be proficient when you’re applying for that policy internship you seemed so interested in. What the heck has changed? </p>
<p>I know finals period is tough. And I also know the e-school curriculum is limiting at times. I just feel like reminding her that she chose the school you did because it had a less limited curriculum with more humanities options. It was the only e-school of the universities she applied to (other than CalTech, can’t imagine what we’d be talking about if she went there) that appealed to her. </p>
<p>The continual wavering makes me just want to ask her: do you want to be in engineering at all? After all this, to get research work (which isn’t available to everyone) in a fantastic lab, to register for a summer course to lighten the fall load, what is it, exactly, dear daughter, that you want to do? </p>
<p>Okay, rant over. </p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day!</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day everybody. I bought steaks and corn for the men to grill today. We had ribs last night, which were a big hit.</p>
<p>S2 got home last night and was in an actual good mood. Maybe it was just the stress of school that made him so grouchy every time we talked this past semester. Nobody gave him a hard time about staying in the dorms through Saturday even though his last exam was on Thursday, so that was good. No grades are posted yet, but I’m cautiously optimistic. He thinks he did well on his physics final, so maybe he won’t need to retake that class after all. If he does, he says he understands it now so shouldn’t have a problem. That feels like a win-win at this point. All of his other classes are fine. H gave him his cell phone to use for the week; H rarely uses it and always forgets to even turn it on. </p>
<p>Somebody picked S2 up about 9:00 pm when we were about ready for bed and I heard him come in at 3:30 am. His brother will come home for the day today and go back tonight. S1 is a major night owl as well, so I really don’t sleep well when they are home.</p>
<p>Sabaray, your D should do a summer abroad next summer in a French immersion course. Then she can take Latin and be fluent in French. I took a course called Latin and Greek Elements in English when I was in college and it really was pretty helpful. Your D sounds like a fabulous kid. I’ll trade her in for one of mine–take your pick.</p>
<p>Up early…couldn’t sleep. Neither of my Ds will be home today. First Mother’s Day without them in 22 years! 
I am sending H off to the cabin to get boat in the water and spend time with his mother. That means I get a whole day to myself!!! 
Heading to the gym first then coming home to get ready to go shopping! H and I are celebrating my birthday this week by having dinner in town and then watching a production of South Pacific at the Ordway Theater so I would like something new to wear. Then will have a nice bubble bath and a glass of wine while I finish a book. Yay!</p>
<p>D2 has comleted one final and has 4 more to go. She stayed at school to study this weekend. Said she went to bed at 10 on Friday and didn’t wake up until 10 Sat. morning. That is a record for her as she doesn’t sleep well. Says she was exhausted…never heard that from her before as she is always in motion. Must be stress. D1 has no stress! Her May term class is outdoor recreation! What a way to finish your four years of college!</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day to All!</p>
<p>Analyst, she would love the French immersion course, no doubt. I think it’s just more the “out of nowhere” comments that make me wonder what’s going on. </p>
<p>NM, that sounds like a wonderful Mother’s Day with the exception of the girls not being there. My mom will be coming over for dinner–think the boys have decided on shish kebab, rice pilaf and salad. And good job on the gym!</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day to all! The famiy celebrated with my Mom last weekend, so no long car trips today. I believe there are some fruit and pancakes in my immediate future.</p>
<p>sabaray - eggson took 5 years of Spanish in MS and HS, but hated speaking it. He could have placed out of most of his college language requirement, but chose to start over with Latin (4 semesters required) because he didnt have to speak it. Talk about convoluted logic.</p>
<p>sabaray, it sounds like your D is still in the exploring everything mode. I have encouraged my kids to explore to their heart’s content as long as they can do it and still graduate within four years. I don’t think it matters what major ends up on the diploma, particularly for undergraduate work. (Speaking from the perspective of somebody with an undergraduate degree in Middle Eastern Studies and a career in finance.) When I was hiring, if a candidate told me they have had the coursework I might be looking for in accounting or French or computer science, that was sufficient. I didn’t need it to be an official major or minor. </p>
<p>As you point out, she is in a college uniquely suited to allow her to pursue a broad range of liberal arts courses and yet still graduate with an engineering degree. I personally think that is an awesome combination. S1 took a similar approach to his education, loving his liberal arts classes but wanting engineering for the practical aspects. I like the emphasis that major gives to quantitative skills in combination with the development of a strong work ethic. But, it really doesn’t matter. That four years flies by and the real career decisions start getting made with the first professional job more than the choice of undergraduate major, in my experience. The really scary part is that the job chooses you as much as you choose the job and way leads on to way, as they say.</p>