<p>Oh Sabaray - I am really so sorry to hear your news. I hope things are better today. Relapses are so common though, please don’t think this incident means total failure. I mean, he WAS sober for 4 months - that’s a huge accomplishment.
You are in my thoughts…
Cardinal fang - great news for CFSon and his B in Spanish. Good luck at Stanford.</p>
<p>CF, Fang Jr.'s progress sounds great- and congrats at surviving as the Spanish tutor. The time has long passed that I could tutor anyone at anything! </p>
<p>We are still on track to go to the cc tomorrow. I told him that if he didn’t want to go to cc, that was fine, but he would need to start beating the bushes asap for a full-time job. He has spent quite a bit of time on Craigslist today looking for a place to live, but I think he has figured out what we are charging him is a pretty sweet deal. He did tell his dad that he didn’t think he had a problem with alcohol, never had a problem with alcohol, which is a pretty far cry from the kid who begged for help before. Anyway. </p>
<p>Good reminders to take it one day at a time.</p>
<p>Sabaray - I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your family today.</p>
<p>Skyline Drive - We are staying at the lodge at Big Meadow. I can’t wait. We will start at Front Royal - about 90 minutes from our home. Going to Luray Caverns on our way home.</p>
<p>That’s a great place to stay. Luray Caverns is a pretty neat visit as well. You might want to stay away from the Reptile Zoo, though! Grand Caverns (located in Grottoes, VA) is also a nice cave to go through - but a bit off your path. Next visit!</p>
<p>Hang in there, sabaray. A lot of us are thinking, there but for the grace of God… and also hoping that when life hits us with a curveball we’ll deal with it with as well as you are. </p>
<p>How did Mr. Sabaray react when S said he didn’t have a problem with alcohol? How does one react to such massive denial?</p>
<p>Well, I don’t know that I’m dealing with it particularly well, but if anything I’ve learned to roll with the punches where son is concerned. </p>
<p>CF, to answer your question, Mr. Sabaray gets angry and frustrated and then communication shuts down between the two of them. He is also more willing to “give in” to S to keep the peace and that is something I just won’t do any longer. I told S this morning that I had been up pretty much all night crunching numbers and just couldn’t see any way that he could return to the rehab center for what they called a “stabilization”. I expressed confidence that he could get back on track and frankly, he seems much calmer tonight. S helped prepare dinner and clean up. I dropped him off at a meeting and will pick him up in an hour or so. </p>
<p>I think one of my frustrations right now is the lack of affordable aftercare options for post-rehab. Prices ran the gamut from 18k to 6k to $600 for the month. The latter was the only option we could possibly consider and it ended disastrously- their philosophy was more punitive than anything (for lack of a better way to describe it).</p>
<p>Sabaray sorry for your , sons relapse. I am amazed, at the amount of drinking that goes on. I shouldnt be because, I did it too, but Inever imbibed to the extent that others did. I guess I also see more of it in FB photos. Its everywhere and seems to be a big part of youth culture. It must be hard to be left out. I guess I think of this as I dont drink, (thats why I can drive the bus) and it can be hard. You feel like everyone knows the joke but you . Last night was one of those nights, I went to a concert with H and friends. we took a limo and H and others were feeling no pain, I just enjoyed the concert.(JT and Carole King) I dont really enjoy drinking that much and feel for health reasons I need to be good to my liver. but I am older and I feel it. Not an excuse but it is just everywhere. My D says that about college, she does her share of partying, but mainly focuses on doing well in school, and says its hard to find a guy who feels the same. anyway I know I am rambling…
Peonies congrats on your anniversay.
Mothers of brides good luck… I told my kids after private HS and college no big weddings. I want to travel!!!
Missy have fun on your college road trip I am not ready, In that way I am glad I only had two kids.</p>
<p>Kansas is a very very long drive north from Texas. Yet somehow, it’s no cooler.</p>
<p>Ahhh…catching up… Gosh, sabaray…So very sorry! My heart aches for your son!
Who knows why these things happen and what sets them off. I pray for his sobriety and understanding of his triggers. I’m sure my D’s would say I am their biggest stressor!Do not blame yourself!!! You are engaged, understanding and trying to help. You are a good mom. Give yourself some credit. Sending {{{HUGS}}} and words of encouragement!!!</p>
<p>Missypie, I think of long drives we took from Ohio to the Midwest when I was a kid to visit my grandparents. Took forever to get there! In college I went from Iowa to Oklahoma to stay with a friend over break–a very long drive (or at least it seemed that way). Glad that you made it. </p>
<p>I dropped S off at work this morning, seemed very much back to normal. DTE, I am the same as you- I enjoy a glass of wine but this drinking to excess is just not good for anyone. I bet you enjoyed the concert – or at least I hope you did! Sounds like a lot of fun.</p>
<p>Very sorry to hear about your family’s trauma, Sabaray. It did seem like things were going in the right direction, and I suspect the recent trend has been positive. I’m not experienced in such things, but I would guess that it is rare for things to improve without minor and major problems along the way.</p>
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<p>I suspect so as well. I continue to remind myself that this will be a lifelong battle for him and he will need all the support he can get. </p>
<p>Shawbridge, did you have a nice Father’s Day?</p>
<p>Younger D starts summer school today. She called at 7:13 am (after Daddy dropped her off) asking which class to go t ofirst, what room to go to. My parting words to both of them was to get online yesterday and figure all this out. D claims they thought I meant to find out which door to go into. Why does this stuff still surprise me?</p>
<p>Same thing kinda happened around here yesterday… D had practice with her summer team, plus was to play in this league game as well. When I woke her up and reminded her, she said she had no idea. I said how can you have no idea when you’ve been sent 3 or 4 emails on the subject (of which I am copied) and she said…(wait for it)… I don’t read email in the summer. Whaat? My advice was that she had better because I am surely not copied on everything going on in her life! Who just doesn’t read email over an entire season of time?</p>
<p>S went out yesterday and bought a panini maker for Father’s day. To be more specific, he went out and picked it up using my credit card. Apparently, he lives by using one in college and thought we really needed one. Also got a cook book. I am trying to guesstimate just how much H will actually use it. Yesterday, son cooked for him while H mostly just watched golf and practiced his short game in the back yard.</p>
<p>Well, sabaray, thanks for asking. We’re going to celebrate my birthday and Father’s Day later in the summer when both kids are home. </p>
<p>But, on this Father’s Day, I was a good father. ShawD and her friend had wanted to go up to our house in Canada and while ShawD’s BFF drives and has her own car, her mother didn’t want her to do that long a drive. Her parents have been exceedingly generous with ShawD, taking her skiing in Utah and to their house in Martha’s Vineyard, and I wanted to reciprocate. So, I flew up to Montreal yesterday and they met me at the airport and we drove back. The girls had a great time, relaxing on the lake and hiking. So, as they say, “It’s all good.” </p>
<p>After a nice dinner prepared by ShawWife, I had to deal with a minor crisis because the tutor we have used for ShawSon and ShawD decided on the very spur of the moment to go to England this week. ShawD has 3 weeks to practice for the ACTs (with the tutor) so that would kill 1/3 of the preparation time (which we’d discussed with said tutor in advance). Doing things in that compressed time worked very well for ShawSon – he got really high scores the first time and took the tests only once. So, we’d blocked out a short, compressed period and I had to negotiate with her to reschedule the trip. I think all is well.</p>
<p>sabaray, best wishes in supporting your son through this challenging time. I can definitely understand the appeal of alcohol, and how young people in particular can be so drawn to it. So much of socializing revolves around alcohol, and our society is not doing enough to question the model that partying and alcohol go together. As for maternal personality flaws, well, I’m another one who could use improvement in that area.</p>
<p>Modadunn, D1 is really into panini-making and makes something on our panini maker every day. We are now on our second one (after much use, there was some sort of electrical failure with the first, and when H got it working again by bypassing the automatic shutoff, it seemed prudent to replace it.)</p>
<p>shawbridge, that sounds quite inconsiderate that the tutor up and went to England on short notice. Good luck in sorting everything out. Sounds like the Canada trip was wonderful, however.</p>
<p>peonies, the tutor didn’t go to England as a result of my conversation last night. In her defense, there were good reasons to go (unbelievably low fares, prep for book she and ShawSon are rewriting), but not good enough given the situation. Fortunately the situation is now resolved and ShawD will be heading over to her place shortly.</p>
<p>oops, thanks for the clarification, shawbridge. I should have read your post more carefully. That’s great that you were able to work things out.</p>
<p>I did enjoy the concert it was something I had planned when I was very ill, and with hopes I would get there. We went with some very supportive friends and paid for it as well as a limo, a celebration of sorts. for a long difficult year. I dont have issues with people drinking alcohol at all, more of an observation that it is so prevalent and people of all ages use it in excess. Its very noticable to me as I dont drink. I would rather have a cup of tea and a nice dessert. plus it doesnt agree with me. but I do stand out with waiters and such when people are ordering drinks etc… and I was thinking how difficult it is when you are a kid and its all around you !!! I think its funny how kids can say these parents are their stressors as it is so clear how everyone loves and supports their kids.
Went driving wit D2 she was stressing over backing into a parking space, and parallel parking, I finally had to ask my H to do it with her as I was exhausted and losing all patience. She gets stressed and doesnt listen. Oh I hope she passes her test as it will not be good around here if she doesnt, I do have confidence in her driving, she is careful and cautious, its just the fine points and how picky they will be, plus my D’s perfectionistic personality that sometimes gets in the way.
Shaw you are a good dad, glad it is working out for your D</p>
<p>dte, how fortunate you are to have such good friends to celebrate with, though of course that’s a great reflection on you. Sounds like a memorable evening. It must have been fantastic to hear JT and Carole King! And good luck with D2 and the driving. It does seem that some testers can be much more picky than others - hope she gets a fair one.</p>