<p>I think where my DD was going was that to get into certain colleges would be like getting to shop at Anthropologie every day - with a credit card to match </p>
<p>At this point, I was just happy she was buying the idea of finding a safety or two - finding a store where she can be happy wearing their clothes even if it is not the dream outfit. </p>
<p>So much of her focus thus far has been on the dream schools - where even the best candidates have a 10% chance of success. Last night for the first time she was talking about the other end of the scale.</p>
<p>And as usual Iâm just the opposite of the norm, heh. Iâve been pretty diligent about searching out safeties and merit aid opportunities on my own, but half of my possibilities are shot down by my parents on the basis of location or selectivity (e.g. the school isnât âgood enoughâ for me).</p>
<p>Hey Keilexandra, my D must have gotten a call from Pace today too! She didnât say anything, but I saw them on our caller id just now. Itâs funny - when I read your post I thought it was strange they hadnât called D because Pace is one of the schools thatâs bombarding her with emails and snail mail. So, what did they want to know?</p>
<p>Nothing much, thankfully. The woman rattled off a standard spiel and asked if I was interested in more information re: Pace. I said no, thank you, and we ended with standard pleasantries.</p>
<p>Now, if a school on my list were to call me (say, Oberlin or Carleton), Iâd be a good deal more nervous!</p>
<p>Speaking of which: is it overreaching to classify Carleton as a match? I expect to have competitive stats. But after factoring in racial and geographic diversity? The rep who came to my school made it sound like Carleton was very interested in getting students from all 50 states, and DE is underrepresented in their student body.</p>
<p>Thanks, Keilexandra. Iâm sorry that I canât answer your questions about Carleton as I donât know enough about it - but it looks like a great school, and if youâre scores are competitive and your state is underrepresented, then you should have a reasonable chance.</p>
<p>Ok buddies. I have a concern. Not a dilemma exactly, but something that tickles my brain. Not enough to keep me up at night, but . . . Tell me what you think. Be brutal. If Iâm being ridiculous, call me out as the psycho-whackjob that I am.</p>
<p>Hereâs the deal: Dâs head of house will do her counselor recs. The woman is incompetent, overwhelmed and lazy. It takes weeks every semester for her to get the schedules right, so kids miss classes. Weâve had to deal with her twice and both times she offered a solution to the problems that made sense, but then went and did something else entirely that created MORE problems. She forgets absolutely everything you say to her. I can see trouble coming our way in the first place because it will take her probably over a month to get to the recs in the fall, which will hold up Dâs timeline, but thatâs not the biggest deal. Her daughter is the same age as my D (different school) and will be applying to colleges also. My older daughter is friends with her (wonderful, wonderful girl) and is convinced that in this particular instance the counselor having a daughter applying to the same colleges as some of the kids in her house will present a conflict of interest. D thinks sheâs just not capable of managing her work, her daughterâs college applications, AND doing for her students so the student recs will suffer. D also thinks that she will unconsciously not do her best for any students that she perceives as competition for her daughter. (Iâd like to remind you that my D1 is the sane one in our house!) Any thoughts?</p>
<p>I would speak with someone higher up at the school. I would not be comfortable with someone writing my Sâs letter of recommendation when their child is applying to the same school. Itâs a conflict of interest, in my opinion. </p>
<p>I would also spell out my past experiences and request someone else on that basis.</p>
<p>zm, youâre one of the least psycho-wackjob people Iâve ever come across on the internet, so I think we can eliminate that possibility right off the bat!</p>
<p>My concern at this point would be less about a potential conflict of interest (although it certainly may exist) than it would be with the womanâs lack of organization and general incompetence. Is there anyone else who could do the recs, or is it pretty much set in stone that it has to be her? And as pugmadkate says, it there someone higher up the chain of command, so to speak, with whom you could discuss the issue?</p>
<p>I could speak to the principal if need be, and I think (now that youâve both validated my sanity) I will speak to the actual college counselor who mails out the transcripts and recommendations. I donât want head of house holding up the applications either.</p>
<p>zm- a slightly different angle. But first your concerns are valid. But to this point, I have seen other people on here (cc in general, not this thread) be concerned about the assigned person to write their recs. Either incompetence, or a new GC, or another reason. I think the general reaction was that colleges know that the relationships for these letters vary widely and a substandared âform letterâ wouldnât be held against the student. People also said that if there is any contact between the college and the HS it would go through this person, so that might be a good reason not to try to get a change.</p>
<p>But you have two concerns, one is the incompetence and second is the conflict. For the first one, do you know others who have had this woman and can you get a sense on if she misses the deadlines etc? That is a good data point to have. Do you also know if there has been flexibility in getting a different assignment. If you sense it might be possible without creating many waves, and might be a favor to offload work from the woman who will be having a busy year with her own daughter, then I think it is worth persuing.</p>
<p>I empathize, zoosermom. I have had my own GC problems. Yesterday, Dâs GC yelled at her because D asked for recommendation forms for her teachers. Incompetence and laziness is rampant.</p>
<p>I think many of us are going to have to be more vigilant than usual next year over the stress loads and our expected performance of the GCs. This economy has wrought some not very nice things on the public school system, and these GCs are only human BUT we are here, as parents, to be the best advocate we can for our kids. Donât we all know it that for the 2010 kids, next year is critical.</p>
<p>It will be a tough balancing act, in some cases. Come back here to this thread often for ideas and solace, everyone.</p>
<p>ZM, I donât have any advice to add, just sending good wishes for a fair and proper resolution. </p>
<p>On a cheery note, I think Iâve found 3 good safeties for Son. One, of course, is an in-state public (Salisbury). The others are High Point (NC) and Roanoke (VA), which are new to him. </p>
<p>He isnât aware that H and I arenât too keen on Salisbury, so the âdiscoveryâ of High Point and Roanoke is surprising him. Weâll visit both during our 7-school-college-visit-road-trip this summer. </p>
<p>(Iâm already having anxiety about that trip. 7 schools. 10 days. A stop-over at my dadâs. And a 3-month-old puppy along just for kicks. :D)</p>
<p>DB, itâs great that youâve found some safeties - I really wish S were more interested in some small LACs, as it would make that part of the college search much easier.</p>
<p>That sounds like quite a trip you have planned. You are a brave woman!</p>
<p>DougBetsy - most importantly, when are you getting a puppy, and what kind will it be?</p>
<p>Congrats on finding some safeties for your S - thatâs so important.</p>
<p>I think doing 7 schools in 10 days is entirely possible - the details just might start running together, so make sure your S writes down important likes/dislikes right after the visits.
We did 4 schools in 2 days, but 3 of them were in the Boston area which made it fairly easy. The problem with doing it that way was that there was no time for sitting in on classes or eating in the cafeterias - but since it was summer, it didnât matter much.</p>
<p>Zoosermom - I really have no additional advice for you. Jackiefâs post made a lot of sense, so keep that in mind. Good luck to you.</p>
</p>