<p>Maximus, it can be done, but frankly I wouldn’t push it unless your daughter is pushing for it. I have a friend whose daughter spent her sophomore year in Belgium and was itching to get out of high school. She had to scramble to get everything in place to graduate early. (Though not all colleges require a high school diploma.) I think it hurt her a bit in the acceptance department - she ended up at BU.</p>
<p>So, here’s a question for you 2010 parents - would you let your h.s. junior go on a college visiting trip with a few friends? The schools they want to visit are 4-6 hours from home and they would be traveling by bus to the schools and between the schools, and they have friends who attend each of the schools they would be visiting. The h.s juniors are all girls/the college students are freshmen and sophs and are all guys. The kids involved are all nice kids/good students, but… </p>
<p>I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet - and I’m sure H will say NO if I ask him, so I told D to discuss it with him herself. BTW, this isn’t a new idea, but one I’ve conveniently put out of my mind for the past 8 months or so…lol.</p>
<p>Would these be official prospective student visits arranged through the Admissions office? Or just a road trip to see a school and stay with friends?</p>
<p>Well, DougBetsy, that’s a good question. These schools are on all the girls’ lists, so they’re definitely interested in seeing the schools. D has assured me that she would go on the tours and sit through the info sessions. But I also know that the boys have been asking them to come visit them since before they even left - so it would be a combination of the two. Not sure that we would be able to arrange anything with the Admissions offices as it’s still not late enough into their junior year. I’m going to look at the schools’ web sites right now, just to see if they have any info about official visits. I already checked to make sure they had tours/info sessions available.</p>
<p>The traveling by bus is a definite plus (wouldn’t want them to drive 4-6 hours at that age). Where would they be staying at night?</p>
<p>Where are they sleeping? In the boys’ rooms? I wouldn’t allow that. girl friends of the boys? I would be concerned about that. The bus thing seems ok if they have the details planned out and since there are a group of them I would allow it and let them figure out things on their own like getting around between the schools. Even if they don’t do much official at the schools, as long as they will actually devote some attention to looking at the schools and not just hanging out with the boys, I think it would be useful. And even if all they get our of the experience is the “atmosphere” of the students at these schools, I think that would be valuable and a follow up visit with the 'rents can fill in the gaps when school is not in session.</p>
<p>So if you are comfortable with the sleeping and transportation details, I would ok it.</p>
<p>=====
my own experience</p>
<p>When I was in HS two friends and I drove from greater Boston to Troy NY. We stayed with a friend who was at Russell Sage and one of the friends and I visited RPI which was on our lists. The third friend just came for the trip, and she was the connection to the girl who hosted us. </p>
<p>I remember taking a tour at RPI, and there was some kind of gathering at RS the night we were there that made me think it was too bad I was looking for geeky engineering schools and not considering women’s colleges. So even though that college wasn’t on my list it gave me other aspects to consider or not in the search.</p>
<p>We got in an accident on the Mass Pike on our way home, friend driving totalled her car…</p>
<p>I wouldn’t let them go alone for safety issues (because that’s how I am!), but also because my husband and I have decided that one of us needs to visit every college that our daughter visits because we feel that our guidance and advice is worthwhile to her decision process. She has no Regents exams this month, so we’re using that free week to do some visiting. I guess it’s too early to interview, more’s the pity, but we’re hitting a few schools then. D also came to me and said that she’s thinking more and more about what she wants in a college and she’s finding that after her insane and hectic high school experience, she wants a more gentle college experience. She doesn’t mean less academically rigorous, but she’s starting to feel that the hyper-crowding and intensity of her inner city public school is wearing after a while. She’s going to be looking more closely at women’s colleges (although she already was), and at some smaller colleges. Interestingly, there are a bunch of Catholic schools on her list and she’s thinking Jesuit might be a good thing. Weird kid. She’s inclined to be an athiest (Satanist? - Kidding!) who was raised Protestant. She is currently taking Hebrew classes for fun and her service project involves a two-year commitment to raising money to build a school for Muslim girls in another school. Gotta be an essay there somewhere!</p>
<p>Thanks, everyone. You’ve been helpful, as usual.</p>
<p>I’m glad about the traveling by bus too - especially after reading your story, jackief! I know you said the car was totalled, but I’m hoping you were all ok? </p>
<p>The sleeping thing is still an issue. After viewing the schools’ web sites, I noticed that at one school, overnight visits are available to juniors after Feb 9th, so I can insist on her making it an official visit for that school - something that makes me a little more comfortable. For the other school, there is nothing about official visits, overnights, etc. on their site, so I’m going to call the admissions office and question them about the possibility. It’s unfortunate, but the girls all seem to know guys at these particular schools. While I tend to think they’d be ok if they stayed with the guys, I know my H would absolutely flip out, so I would like to present him with a better option. </p>
<p>Zoosermom - I agree that it’s important for us to see both of these schools in particular, so we’ll probably have to go back again if she likes them - so that’s something else to take into consideration. The thing is, I’m sure this trip will give her a great insight into what her life would be like at either one of these schools - especially because she has friends there already. She’ll be able to get a good feel for how she’ll fit in socially.</p>
<p>BTW, your D sounds very interesting - our girls should meet…lol. Also, your D doesnt’ have the English regents this January? Mine does! I guess schools plan these things differently. But now that you mentioned Regents exams, I just realized that I never got her the English Regents book! Better to pick one of those up asap.</p>
<p>Forgot to ask - which safety issues would you be concerned about? Traveling, sleeping arrangements, or underage drinking? Or maybe all of the above?</p>
<p>
They were allowed to take it last June due to some scheduling stuff.</p>
<p>
I would worry about them running into someone dangerous or just doing something dumb. Daughter in her group of friends can be a little less sensible than when she’s not in a group.</p>
<p>Definitely all of the above. Sounds like a ticking time bomb. IMHO</p>
<p>I don’t like it either. I want to be there for all college visits. Just call me “helicopter mom.”</p>
<p>zoosermom - believe it or not, I’m not that worried about that kind of stuff. As much as I hate letting go, I’ve been working at it slowly the past year or so because when she does eventually go away to school, I want her to feel comfortable traveling back and forth. She’s pretty cautious about talking to strangers, and I’m fairly certain that she wouldn’t do something dangerous. She’s pretty sensible, even when she’s with her friends. </p>
<p>BengalMom - really? Now you and zoosermom are both making me more nervous! I will definitely be giving this some more thought before making a decision.</p>
<p>I think my D would be fine to travel by bus alone to a college, but in a group, I think she’d let her guard down and also be goofing off with the friends. Maybe with one other girl it would be fine, but I wouldn’t trust mine with more than that in a completely unfamiliar situation. But that’s just my little darling, you know your daughter and her friends better than anyone and if you’re comfortable, it has to be for a good reason.</p>
<p>even if you know the boys, there are the other kids in the dorm- their roommates etc. Even for an arranged visit, I hope the hosts are cautioned not to do anything illegal (drinking) but there are other less desirable things that they could do. I would want to know from the girls what their ideas for sleeping plans are. What is their plan if they get into a situation/place they are not comfortable, will they have access to go back to the friends’ rooms, etc. See what kind of plan they can propose and go from there. From the talks about your D, I think they may be able to come up with a thought out plan. Also how many schools and I assume they are in an urban environment since it sounds like they would be visiting several over a weekend? Would one school be a better option than others to spend the night at?</p>
<p>I think something valuable could come out of a visit like this, see what living at a college is like. They also may see things first hand that might be better left until they are actually students. My D has one school on her list, she was talking to a teacher who (teacher) decided not to apply to said school because on her visit the host threw up on her. Yes drinking and partying happens everywhere, but she (your D) will see it at a small group of her list of schools so that could unfairly influence her either positive or negative.</p>
<p>On my experiences… yes we were ok, the car went up on the guard rail and ripped the bottom to shreds and then stopped. If it had gone over the rail it would not have been nice. Just a case of an inexperienced driver, she had had her license for a while but I don’t know about long trips. She dropped something and reached for it and then went up on the rail.</p>
<p>I don’t know - I went on 3 college visits when I was in h.s. - one with my mom and a friend, one with two friends, and one alone. Guess which one I enjoyed the most - the one I visited alone! </p>
<p>I guess that maybe a lot depends on where you live, how independent and mature your junior is, previous travel experience, etc.</p>
<p>I agree that this trip, sans parents, would be a great opportunity to get a feel for the atmosphere of the college from students’ perspectives, which I think is really important. I don’t think a kid can truly “feel” what the school and students are about on a tour with mom and dad.</p>
<p>BUT, as the parent of a sophomore son at college, I know that if he had been inviting a group of high school girls to come visit him and his friends at school, it wouldn’t be for visiting for strictly admission information purposes. While he might walk them around a bit on campus, there would probably be a much bigger emphasis on the “social” aspects - including drinking, partying, etc. </p>
<p>I don’t mean to dog my son, he is a great kid, responsible and a good student, BUT, he is a college kid :rolleyes: They are not in hs anymore and don’t have chaperones or parents watching what they do, so they are doing things I wouldn’t want a high school junior girl doing. Just my opinion.</p>
<p>Of course, these boys your daughter and her friends are visiting may have totally innocent and helpful intentions - but, I’d kinda worry if it were my daughter (I only have sons and I know what that animal is like ;))</p>
<p>LIMOM, do you think that maybe starting a new topic to get feedback from other than the '10’ers to give you more insight would be helpful?</p>
<p>jackief - I think I have enough to think about for now. ;)</p>
<p>ag54 - yes, the drinking, partying, etc. is my biggest concern.</p>
<p>It would be a big, fat “no” from me.</p>
<p>The traveling is no big deal to me - a group of friends and I did all our own college visits by train and bus, since none of our parents even owned a car. But the partying, etc. would be cause for concern. A lot would depend on how well you know and trust your D to do the right thing in whatever situations might arise.</p>