<p>I wish D’s school had done an official afterprom. I know that there were signficant amounts of intoxicating substances used after the prom. (D kindly took some kids to get something to eat because she did not want them driving themselves) but then she went on home and the kids were on their own. :eek: </p>
<p>I have always debated whether I should give the parents a heads up, but if I had done so D would have stopped talking to me about what was going on. So our deal was if I knew something dangerous was going on, at the time it was happening, or if there was expectation it would happen again, I would tell the parents. If I only learned of something after the fact, then I would let it go. It was the best compromise we could come up with under the circumstances. But it has been hard to bite my tongue.</p>
<p>Our all night party is not extravagant by any means. It is held in the gym/PE building of our local university. The committee rents those huge inflatable things–an obstacle course, a “jousting” pit and two other competitive bouncy games, plus a bull ride surrouded by inflatables. There is also a “casino” area for poker and a DJ for karoke and dancing. Those line the perimeter of the main basketball arena. There are tables for eating and conversation in the middle of the court. One group of parents organizes a three-on-three basketball tournament and a four-on-four volleyball tournament in the other gym. And there is Wii Dance, Dance Revolution in the dance studio. The committee solicits prizes and food donations from local businesses. The prized run the gamut from a travel mug to a 19-inch TV. Food and soft drinks/water are served all night–long Subway sandwiches, pizza, cupcakes, etc.</p>
<p>The kids park at the library and come to the party in school buses. They cannot leave. Everything shuts down at 3 for a hynoptist show that lasts until about 4:30. Then they pick up their prizes, get breakfast (donuts and juice) and get back on the bus at 5.</p>
<p>About 300 of the 800 high school graduates of our five public and private schools attend. And as holliesue says, the intent is to keep them safe and sober. </p>
<p>A friend of mine told me that in her district in New Jersey, the parents of juniors put on the party for the seniors. It allows the parents to see what a good time the kids have so they encourage their kids to go the next year. And it allows the senior parents to stay home and entertain family and/or sleep after a hectic weekend. I love that concept!</p>
<p>OWM- your party sounds very similiar to ours! Hypnotist, casino, inflatables, trivia, food and prizes! About 80% of the class attends. Breathalyzed at the prom and then again upon entrance to the after prom party.</p>
<p>Ours is similar. I do understand the concern about spending a ton of money on this party - but it helps keep these kids off the street, having fun that night. It’s an event that’s free to all seniors so even those who don’t attend the prom can go. I like that - with tickets being 80$, not all seniors can make the prom.</p>
<p>D is done, done with school. Posted a hundred odd pictures on facebook. Felt myself tear up when I saw those pictures. She and a few other friends went out to the movies last night. Slept in late this morning (had to wake her up for her piano lesson!). I spent some time last night making picture posters for the party - had a cute trifold board with an 8 x 10 picture of her in the center, surrounded by small wallet size pictures of her from pre-K to now. Came out really good, if I may say so myself :)</p>
<p>Had an awful, awful morning though. S missed the bus (nothing new!), so drove him to school. Planned on working from home, but came home to find the internet is out. Tried several times, several tricks - nothing worked. Got ready in a hurry to get to work instead. I have to drive the kids this afternoon to what seems like a zillion activities - one right after the other and I had to get the stuff needed for each activity, put it all in the car and get into work. Hope the rest of the day is not as bad…</p>
<p>Our afterprom is similar. Held in the gym, casino, food, hypnotist, inflatables, prizes, etc. Free to all juniors and seniors and their dates. (Ours is a junior/senior prom.) Attendance is almost 100% as you don’t have to go to the prom to attend the afterprom party. It’s hosted by the junior parents, so parents of seniors have the night off! Breathalyzer and bag checks upon entering the building. It is a safe, fun night.</p>
<p>Our school doesn’t do an after prom party, they do an after graduation party. Same idea as all those listed, no leaving after arriving, lots of fun things–casino, pool, food, inflatibles, etc. Lots of prizes. It sounds like fun. Nothing like it when I graduated back in the dark ages.</p>
<p>Your parties sound fun and reasonable. I like the idea of keeping everyone safe. Our budget is $40,000+ (big class, but still…). I get to work one of the overnight shifts. Could be interesting…We get some junior parents helping, but just the ones that will be leading the event the next year. I think parents doing the whole thing for the class ahead of them makes a lot of sense.<br>
I do appreciate the ladies who have put so much effort into the party (with the best of intentions). I just worry that as a community (and speaking only for my immediate community), we are indulging the kids too much. The various activities (including individual grad parties) are so spendy! Sharing a small dorm room, searching for ramen noodles on sale, and hoping to find a decent used book versus a new one will be quite a change for many, including my D.</p>
<p>We have something similar but it is for after graduation not afterprom - at a local JCC that has a gym, pool, meeting rooms for entertainment, etc. Our town made national headlines (believe I mentioned before) for afterprom drunken debacle out of state a couple years back. It seems in our town the control over kids is tight in elem (only healthy snacks, no soda, etc) and then loosens in middle school (parents put up with lots of annoying priviledged silver-spoon behavior) and then it is gone in HS where buying kegs for your kids parties seems not only acceptable but expected. I don’t get it. So, standard post-prom is to rent a condo at the jersey shore, outfit it with a keg or two and “maybe” stay nearby with another parent - maybe. At least prom transport is taken care of from the HS to the venue and then back. Prom is in a week and ds of course hasn’t rented his tux, should I worry?</p>
<p>@Kinderny: and a Happy Towel Day to you as well! I had completely forgotten.</p>
<p>@pepper: good vibes coming your way. Hope the problems will solve themselves once you can put the school behind you, but best wishes either way!</p>
<p>@OWM: D and I take ( well, I guess that’s ‘took’ now) an annual long weekend to NYC and have settled on the Affinia Dumont (34th btw. Park and 3d) as our hotel of choice. If I ever have the chance to live in Manhattan, I think i would choose Murray Hill ( although I am a Cobble Hill girl myself) as a great neighborhood. In January, it has usually been around $120-150/night for 2 beds (D kicks). Looking at rates now, they are astronomical, but they do lots of deals and I often find deals closer to my travel dates.</p>
<p>cgpm, I’m sure you’ll get good answers on the financial aid forum, but there shouldn’t be any tax issues with a $5000 gift. Cash gifts are supposed to be reported on FAFSA. I’m guessing people will suggest they hold onto their cash now and pay off the loans after he is done.</p>
<p>(Just to clarify: our all-night event is after graduation, not prom.)</p>
<p>And in case you all are Weather Channel watchers, the latest tornadoes in Missouri are south of us and heading east away from us across the center of Missouri. So far, heavy rain here today; big thunder storm last night.</p>
<p>cgpm – I would put it aside in case your son wants to take a semester abroad, work an unpaid but very useful internship one year, or has other, unexpected expenses arise. This is assuming that you have already budgeted for room/board at college. It’s very generous of his grandparents…but there are better things to use it for than tossing food down a bottomless pit! </p>
<p>One of the school’s near where I used to live cancelled their after-prom because of low registration. Apparently, the kids thought Breathalyzing them before admittance was an infringement of their Constitutional rights. Needless to say, this is near Washington D.C. Lawyers…lawyers everywhere. </p>
<p>Can’t believe DD will be graduating Sunday! This Sunday. Whoa. </p>
<p>Stay safe all you in the Mid-West. Mother Nature is still on the rampage.</p>
<p>I think our community does a lot of things right (afterprom, for example), but it never ceases to amaze me that parents will risk prosecution and supply alcohol to underage drinkers. There are definitely homes and parents here that are known to be “alcohol friendly” and it surprises me the number of parents who were very strict when parenting younger kids, who now shrug and adopt an attitude of “that’s what kids do”. Doesn’t sound like we’re quite in your league, AmandaK, but I’m sure that there are some in our community who would do it.</p>
<p>Rant about senior trip next week to Martha’s Vineyard. Finally got the itinerary- no structured activities for 3 days, lunch & dinner on your own, 10 PM curfew. Anyone breaking the rules will not walk at graduation and any alcohol or other violations will be listed on your transcript. Chaperoning teachers can hang out on the beach all day and have lunch and dinner by themselves. Makes absolutely no sense to me. No idea what will happen if it rains for 3 days, what are they supposed to do? </p>
<p>Another group of teachers took a bunch of students to France 2 years ago. No structured activities at night and surprise kids went to a club. The only reason they didn’t get into more trouble was that it was 30 kids and they didn’t want to suspend everyone. I think they weren’t allowed to go on the next trip or something. Teacher chaperones got a free trip to France and dinner on their own every night. I don’t begrudge teachers having a little fun and I know they have a thankless job at times, but this is a little crazy.</p>
<p>I have mixed feeling about our After Prom Party. It’s become a very big deal in our community, and it represents how strongly the parents, school and community care about keeping teens safe. I’ve worked on the event for the past few years. It’s a lot of fun, and we get a pretty good turn-out, but there were still plenty of drinking parties that night. As far as I know, most of the kids at parties spent the night, so I think that the drinking and driving message is getting through. It just bothers me to see so much volunteer time and money spend on one 5 hour event. </p>
<p>My daughter has asked me to write notes so she can leave school early the past few days. She is finished her finals and said that they weren’t doing anything in her classes. I was feeling like a bad mother, but I walked past the school this morning around 10:30 and watched endless cars with seniors driving away. My friend spoke to the attendance secretary who told her it’s fine for the kids to leave if they have a note. I think that the school is ready to have theses seniors out of there. Two more days:)</p>
<p>OWM, the hotel that HighHead recommended – the Dumont – is the hotel that my parents always stayed at when visiting me early in my marriage when H and I lived in a 1BR apt. It’s lovely. Diagonally across the street is a beautiful church; it’s not far from the Morgan Library which now has a wonderful cafe; and it’s in the neighborhood of one of our favorite restaurants for brunch – Artisanal on Park and 32nd. Another great place for breakfast or brunch – or lunch & dinner, for that matter – is Maialino’s at Lex and 21st – in the Gramercy Park Hotel which was designed by the artist Julian Schnabel. I love that neighborhood, and that hotel lobby and bathrooms is something to see! We took my S to lunch there the day after he got into Brown to celebrate, as he was on vacation. Both restaurants are very well priced for NYC and the food is superb. Make sure to get the hot chocolate at Artisanal – you’ll be in heaven.</p>
<p>PM me closer to your trip for more recommendations. We know plenty of very well priced restaurants in the city that are wonderful – like the best pizza, best burgers.</p>