<p>Amanda-yes, I meant that she was not selected. Too late for me to edit. </p>
<p>There is such a fine line between advocating for our children and fighting their battles for them. In this case, I think you need to be the advocate because your daughter did nothing wrong, but what the teacher said was definitely wrong.</p>
<p>While mamom is on the subject of thank you notes, my and I created a spreadsheet of his gifts (mostly checks, cash or gift cards) today. He entered the names and amounts and I added the addresses from our Christmas card list.</p>
<p>He has 44 thank you notes to write. He’s thinking four a day for 11 days. We’ll see how that goes. He and my husband leave on a mission trip to New Mexico on June 11. I’d be okay with it if he was done by then. Gives him a few days to slack off a little. </p>
<p>As we were working on the list, we figured out how many people came to the party on Saturday. 86! No wonder I was tired and we went through so much food.</p>
<p>Amanda. I’m just livid on behalf of your daughter and you. What an ignorant idiot. And to think, these people get pats on the back as educators! I’m sure you will do the right thing by your dd. What a shame she has to go through the pain of not being selected and then the indignity of misplaced racism in the guise of advise. :mad: Where are our 2011/15 frying pans?!?</p>
<p>AK - I am sorry about the hurtful comments made to your daughter and the lack of help she received when requested. I’m not sure if it is worse to be the victim of prejudice because of something someone can see such as race, gender or disability or something that can’t be seen such as religion or sexual preference. </p>
<p>Life is full of people who make insensitive or hurtful or stupid comments. Personally I prefer to educate them. When someone asks my husband a question pertaining to me, he politely tells them I can hear, I can speak and I can think clearly so they can ask me directly. Using a wheelchair doesn’t make me stupid.</p>
<p>FlMM - You’d appreciate my step-mother. She’s very sharp witted and can be very sharp tongued to those that make just flat out ignorant comments. Or as you described talk to my father like she’s a child, clearly due to the fact they are uncomfortable with her wheelchair. She’s a force to be reckoned with!!</p>
<p>Amanda: It makes me furious to hear how cruel and inapropriate that teacher was to your daughter. I agree with OWM that you should wait a few days to decide whether to do anything. It might be worth meeting with the teacher to explain how offended you are by the remark, and also to let her know how passionate your daughter actually is about music. I know it’s hard to know whether or not to rock the boat. My D2 had an incident with a teacher junior year that I let go at her request, but it ate at me for a long time.</p>
<p>I imagine that your daughter is feeling pretty low right now. It must be especially hard for her after your son’s success as drum major. I’m sending a virtual hug her way. I hope she has a fun weekend.</p>
<p>My D1 is home safe and sound from Israel. She had a wonderful trip.</p>
<p>AK-I am absolutely livid at the teacher…Let me at her!!!
Someone who thinks and acts like that has absolutely no business being an educator. I am so sorry that your daughter has experienced this treatment.
I agree that you should calm down and then meet with her to discuss what happened.</p>
<p>I sit here happy to report that as of approximately 10pm last night my S is officially a high school graduate!</p>
<p>The day did not dissapoint. Lovely ceremony, Proud of son with his IB and honors sashes, wonderful celebratory air for the evening and wonderful weather too–had it been a day earlier, there were tornado warnings and several confirmed tornados withn 10 miles of the school.</p>
<p>I am sitting here in a dazed but happy stupor after working nearly all night at the Grad Night party. I hope all of you have graduations for your children like this one!</p>
<p>But wow. The last chapter of that exciting, sometmes scary, sometimes thrilling book called high school has closed…now we reach for the next.</p>
<p>AK - you need Pepper’s frying pan for that insensitive callous teacher. In this day and age, it amazes me how many people are still ignorant.</p>
<p>Congratulations to all the new grads and their parents. Today was D’s last day of school…she has been emotional all week and it has come out in different ways…she is very ready for the next step and is looking forward to moving on.</p>
<p>Amandakayak: I am so sorry your daughter’s teacher responded to her as such. Is there any chance that he had been asked similar questions by other students/parents or even had his decisions questioned to the point that he just happened to have a bad moment with your daughter? There’s really no justification for the racial comment, but anytime there’s subjectivity in a decision at a school, I’m sure there are plenty of people who are vocal. He may have misunderstood that she just wanted to improve her chances next time.</p>
<p>Any of your students involved in senior pranks? D2’s class TPed over 20 staff member homes on Tuesday night - ours among them! Some teachers didn’t take too kindly to it. I thought it was well orchestrated and rather harmless (though it did rain and make the clean up process more of a challenge). D2 didn’t go out and participate. Any trouble could jeopardize West Point plus as student body president she had to sign a contract to uphold school values. After the prank, many of the class spent the night in tents on the school lawn.</p>
<p>Congrats to your S Greatkidsmom! Sounds like a ceremony to remember.</p>
<p>No sr. pranks at S’s school. I know they talked about it, but I think logistics (kids come from over 40 communities) and the fact that some have their last day 2nd week of April while others go til AP exams made it difficult to pull everything together. I know in the past some graduating classes do them and others don’t.</p>
<p>momjr - glad your D had a great time in Israel. </p>
<p>OWM - we do something similar with our S, he has to write so many thank you notes per day. He is OK with it.</p>
<p>AK - I’ll add my voice to those who suggest that you wait a few days and then meet with the teacher. Who knows? Maybe he will listen to you, realize what he did and change for the better. I actually had that happen once - the only time I actually called a teacher during the years we were at this HS - and the teacher told me that it really opened her eyes. She was totally different for the rest of the year.</p>
<p>Momjr - Glad your D is home and that she had a good time!</p>
<p>Greatkidsmom - congrats!!!</p>
<p>We had a few very minor pranks here but nothing big. The best one was a group of seniors who TPd the school… every tree on the campus. A couple were caught on camera and then interrogated (lol) until the gave up the names of their fellow TPers. So they spent the day cleaning up the grounds.</p>
<p>Congrats to those finishing school this week, graduating this week/this weekend.</p>
<p>Tough week with my parents. Nothing major, just general aging stuff. One positive - we found out my dad was way overmedicated, sometimes taking 3 drugs for same problem. DH & I organized all his meds. He will be healthier going forward and will spend far less on drugs. </p>
<p>Hope everyone has a safe, fun holiday weekend.</p>
<p>As always, lots of good advice and comments for amandakayak.</p>
<p>I did want to add one thing. I know it is tough to decide whether to speak up when your child doesn’t want you to. For me, the litmus test is, what will my child learn by my speaking up? In your situation, you are modeling for your D how to appropriately respond to this type of situation. What would you want her to do, once she is an adult? It might be good if she sees you do that now. (However you handle it.)</p>
<p>Greatkidsmom: Congrats! The graduation sounds wonderful.</p>
<p>Flmathmom: Sorry to hear about the issues with your parents.</p>
<p>My D2 drove 3 hours to the beach yesterday, including a drive over the Chesapeake Bay bridge, which gives me panic attacks. She called when they arrived, and she sounded so grown up when she said how easy the drive was. </p>
<p>I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday weekend.</p>
<p>Happy weekend all. Here’s to all the wonderful people who have served our country, or will - including “our own” phbmom D. I am the mom who drags her kid to the VFW ceremony every Memorial Day. It’s us and a dwindling bunch of older folks. My kids hate it, but I insist. Maybe someday they will understand my motivation.</p>
<p>Regarding thank you notes: my wise friend with three older kids did not let her kids cash the gift checks until the thank you note was written. Talk about linking a consequence to an action - love it!</p>
<p>Congrats to our new batch of grads and parents!</p>
<p>** Happy Saturday 
**</p>
<p>Greatkidsmom~Your ceremony sounds lovely :)</p>
<p>FLMath~Hope you have a great Day with your parents :)</p>
<p>mnmomof2~ S1 had to hand write thank you notes within the week in order to deposit the money in his savings, S2 knows already :p</p>
<p>Amanda~You received a lot of great tips here. You did nothing wrong, prejudice, racism are part of everyday life and as OWM said it is a hard lesson to learn but a lesson indeed.</p>
<p>IMHO, I go to battle when the line is crossed by a teacher, coach, church volunteers anyone who think they can without repercussion because they are talking to children.
I usually start the conversation by “help me understand, or I am not sure…” Playing stupid always works in my case 
By stepping in when applicable, I have taught my children that bullies are not acceptable whether they are kids or adults. Good Luck to you :)</p>
<p>S2 had his prom Tuesday night. After two days on rain around 3pm (just in time for pictures) the sun came out, and off they went.
A great night was had by all. We hosted the post-prom at our house,strict rules were put in place. S1 was supervising without us being in their face.
S2 and friends thought it was one of the best night ever 
Mission accomplished</p>
<p>Graduation is in two weeks, party in three…confirmed the caterer, rentals, still have to order some goodies for yard and around the house.
I will have the window professionally cleaned worth the $220.
This week-end will be devoted to the back yard and the beds around the pool.I will make a run to one of the big nurseries to buy already planted and lush container.(worth the $ for the bang)</p>
<p>Now if I only knew what to wear 
It is going to be hot and humid…I need one outfit for the Baccalaureate mass, and one for the commencement …what are you all wearing??</p>
<p>Waving to all our wonderful men and women who served or are serving our country</p>
<p>Great graduation for ShawD. Beautiful sunny day for an outside graduation on the leafy green campus of ShawD’s NE prep school. Parents came in from all over (Korea, Taiwan, Sweden, …) but the school is in our town so it was the usual 7 minute commute. Hot but not so hot people were fainting (as happened at ShawSon’s graduation). The senior class of about 100 walked in, girls in white dresses and boys in suits arrayed by height. ShawD is tall and was came in toward the end mostly with boys (there was only one girl taller). They started by singing a song of the class’s chosing (Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes) and ShawD was beaming. She looked serious or tense for much of the rest of it. Well-delivered speech by rather famous speaker with one great insight – about the need to reinvent yourself and that people like him (who dropped out of Exeter and then quite Yale Law School after 6 weeks had setbacks and then reinvented themselves then and periodically over their careers. The school was very good for ShawD, but tough (surprising number of kids with depression, eating disorders, anxiety, migraines) etc. Graduates report that college is usually significantly easier than high school. Pretty strong college admit showing. </p>
<p>Nice family lunch at home (with desserts specially prized by ShawD) and then sushi dinner with the family of a ShawD friend/classmate whose brother is a friend of ShawSon. Long day. </p>
<p>Happy to see her mature and happy to see her radiantly happy for part of it. She has a gift – her enthusiasm is infectious. But, I’m hoping that as she matures, she will have that infectious happiness not just for part of her day but for all of it.</p>
<p>Mnmom - I think it is wonderful for you to show up at the Memorial Day ceremonies. We used to do the same when were stayed home, now we are typically away. Makes me wonder why the new vets are not more involved, all I see at these events are the still living WWII and Korean vets with a sprinkling of vietnam ones. And forget about civilian folks, it is usually just a few policticians. </p>
<p>momjr - glad your D made the trip safe and sound. It does sometimes take me by surprise to realize my S is now an adult…and mostly acts that way! </p>
<p>Shaw - we really did have some of the best weather all year here for your D’s graduation. Hope she enjoyed those desserts! I am sure over time she will relax and enjoy life more and more. There is so much on the line for these kids, regardless of someone telling them how they overcome set backs and how they aren’t the end of the world, everyone wants smooth sailing.</p>
<p>Family reunion just beginning. Some people H has not seen in 40 years. SILs staying with us too.
:eek: hold me.</p>
<p>AK- that sucks.</p>