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</p>
<p>So noted and added to the list for tomorrow’s countdown posting. :)</p>
<p>Pepper - Hope the transition for your parents is as smooth as the one coming for ds! Good luck with everything, </p>
<p>So, I said I hadn’t heard from ds and it was dd3s birthday yesterday so that kind of was strange for him (he loves her to pieces). I did finally get a text around 11 “Hey! Sorry I havent txted you in a while we usually finish everything after you go bed 
I love it here!” all glowing blablabla, then “people are pretty cool…well the freshmen are, the upperclassmen kinda tick me off - they are all perverted and condescending and even tho the director said there is no hazing, there definately is but i suppose that is just the way of things, its alright.” So, I am trying to remain zen. Trying to remember that things are often sounding worse on the phone or txt and that the kid just needs to vent safely and here is Mom to fill that need…but my heart ain’t buying that crap. I am ready to stealth pilot mode it over to that camp and give those upperclassmen a piece of my mind…the whole “big state school, what was I thinking???” comes into my head and I didn’t sleep too well. I know, I know, it is nothing. I didn’t hear another text even after I answered him, which is not his style so my mind races to…did they take his phone away as a evil hazing scheme? Did they dunk him in an ice cold bath? What exactly would be considered “hazing” to my son? He’s all about fairness and equality so, hazing could mean that the upperclassmen took the last tatertot from the food line. Zen is not easy. Helped that they put up pics of day 1 and I found him there apparently alive and breathing, not painted blue or shaved or something. It is all in my head, but my mind cant stop racing.</p>
<p>Hazing? AK I’d be right behind you on the parkway, zooming to that school. Very hard to be zen. But you don’t want to be the overbearing mom if, like you say, it’s really nothing. </p>
<p>Are you close enough to drop in with something you think he forgot? Offer to take him off campus for a burger and talk to him one-on-one?</p>
<p>Or wait and see…my thoughts are with you.</p>
<p>Hugs to snoozn and dd. Hope today is a brighter day.</p>
<p>Pepper- you continue to amaze me. Treat yourself to something special (massage, pedicure, new outfit) for the fantastic job you’ve done with your parents and DS. Good luck with job search.</p>
<p>Spent wonderful day in Williamsburg yesterday. On our way to Lancaster to visit sister and family including unemployed 24yo niece and 26yo nephew. OY!!! Both college grads, one in communication, the other international relations.</p>
<p>snoozn and Classof2015, there are a host of comments that kids, especially girls, save for their moms (“I should have gone somewhere else”, “I’m unhappy”, etc.) and, having dumped them on you to fret, they go off an have a good time. Not sure why this is, but seems fairly common.</p>
<p>snoozn, your daughter will have a fair bit of adjusting to do to more regimented classes and less alternative kids, but I am sure that at the yoga club, etc., she’ll find her peers. It may just take some time.</p>
<p>Lots of anxious feelings here after the move ins. I am sharing them too.
Shawbridge:Love the way you and your wife did about the dress.
Missypie:your D will be fine.
AK:Hope you are calming down now. Like you said its nothing and your S will handle it just fine.
Before my S left for college there were so many good advice from this thread and others that I wanted to share with him. It did not go well and I stopped because he said he knew it already. So H and I made advice into a poem and printed it on his school color paper. I packed my first care package with treats he likes and enough to share with roommate and the poem. We left the package with him after move in. Hopefully he has been or will be reading the poem while eating the treats.</p>
<p>
Care to share them poem? I’d love to read it! I’m always looking for creative ways to impart my “wisdom” to my daughter who unfortunately, also, knows everything.</p>
<p>I haven’t been here in a couple of weeks, too hectic with move-in last weekend. Finally was able to regroup. Hope everyone who moved in already is doing well. S was at the health center already with a minor issue. Things look to be ok. There were no tears on my end, yet… I am excited for him and happy to have a break for the first time in 32 years. Is that selfish? I love him to death and will miss him terribly but enjoying my emptynestedness (is that a word?)</p>
<p>Now if only I didn’t have these damn dogs, I could do what I wanted all of the time. Ha Ha</p>
<p>S is loving college and meeting a lot of people. He had a week of community service and was accepted into a research program, so he will start that next week with classes. He has most of his books, but was hesitant to buy any more until he hears what prof’s are requiring, suggesting.</p>
<p>That is a tough one since they might have moved on from whatever upset them after they call and vent to us…</p>
<p>I’d say
Listen,
Encourage them to stay true to themselves and their boundaries/values…
Ask what they think they will do about it…IF they say they don’t know…
Ask if they’d like to hear some options that others have tried…
Share a few options on how He/She might solve his/her own problem…
Encourage them as they move forward that they are sure to make a good decision/figure it out and to let you know what they decide to do/how they handle it.</p>
<p>As for us…and our prep for the big launch…
Kiddo has packed 2 of the three duffle bags–wants to get everything in it–including all cold weather clothes. I have said we will shop a box or it can be picked up at Thanksgiving–yet kiddo wants to be able to travel with it all…and so we are letting kiddo handle it.
Move in is Friday and we fly out Thursday…so our student is certainly on track and the closet will be cleaned/room organized by the time we leave for the airport.</p>
<p>Had kiddo call the grandparents and great grandparents to say hello/goodbye/I am packing for college etc— especially since one is in her 90s and one is in late stage 4 cancer battle.</p>
<p>We went back to the school to see D1 for Orientation and to bring the extra items from her list. We didn’t get to see her until 2, since she had field hockey practice. We attended a parent workshop on getting involved on campus. It was very well done and informative. We finally got to meet the roommates after we caught up with D1. When we arrived at her room, the door was closed and it was very quiet, so we assumed that they were out. She unlocked the door and each of the 2 roomies were sitting at their desks alone, on their laptops.</p>
<p>I attempted to talk to both of the girls, but it was like pulling teeth- especially with roomie1. I asked if their parents were at Orientation events, and roomie 1 said that they were 'out getting things", and Roomie2 said her parents were out at parent workshops. Roomie 1 got up and walked out without saying a word, and came back a few minutes later with her parents. Both of them were carrying items from BBB. She sat back in her chair, went back to the computer as her Mom and Dad rehung all of her clothes on new BBB hangars. The girl did not say a word. She went to a HS with only 9 kids in the graduating class, so that may be part of the issue. Her parents were very nice and very chatty. </p>
<p>Roomie 2 is quiet, but I think part of it was nerves. We never did get to meet her parents.</p>
<p>D1 is glad that 3 other girls from the team are on her floor, so she has been hanging out with them for the most part.</p>
<p>They had a very nice President’s Address and Barbecue. The president had words of wisdom for both the parents and kids “Unfriend your parents on FB. Call your parents at least once a week. Remember tattoos are permanent.” He also gave the stats about the current class- 44% had 4.0 gpas in HS, so many vals and sals, etc. He also said that starting today, the page is blank and they have to build themselves up from a clean slate. He also said that success is summed up in 9 words “Go to class. Do the work. Ask for help.” Very good advice.</p>
<p>D1 had a rough practice today, mainly due to cramps and excessive heat and humidity, so she was not feeling 100% up to par. She really didn’t eat anything at the barbeque, and said she didn’t have lunch. Hopefully, she will feel better after a good night’s sleep.</p>
<p>They have activities scheduled all evening with the RAs. I hope Roomie1 starts to talk a little more. I told D1 to invite to meals and things, but she doesn’t have to be your best friend.</p>
<p>Catching up via my phone as we have had terrible storms (including a unconfirmed tornado less than 10 miles away). No power means no laundry,packing or a million other things I had planned to do since I am a teacher heading back to work tomorrow and kiddo has move.in Sat. Morning.</p>
<p>I admit to getting a queasy stomach reading about the “why did I go to this school calls”. I don’t think ds would share that and would instead suffer in silence…I wonder which is better.</p>
<p>Re: The Help movie. I heard it was good but oftertimes I am so disappointed seeing the movie after reading the book. Since the ending has changed,I may just wait to see it on DVD/on demand.</p>
<p>Shawbridge- I think it is terribly sweet that your wife went and got the dress. I would be tempted to hold on to it and mail it to her at school in a few weeks as a surprise.</p>
<p>One of my brothers stopped by to say goodbye.to kiddo before he leaves for college. His kids (age 9 and twins aged 3) gave DS big hugs and asked if he was ever coming back. (My thoughts exactly somedays) and he said he would see them in October. One of the 3 yr olds said"get smarter Zach" and the other said “but don’t be stupid”. Obviously,mom and dad had done some coaching!</p>
<p>DS is seeing great-grandmother as he helps pump the water out of her basement right now and has lunch with grandparents one day this week and my other brother and his family are taking ds out to a farewell dinner. Sweet gestures each and every one.</p>
<p>Sent from my ADR6350 using CC App</p>
<p>Popping in for a moment to let you know I did not take up permanent residence in Charlottesville over the weekend. Move in went exceptionally well. Bluejr is nervous but will do beautifully, I have no doubt. Bluedad was able to make the BB&B run for the roommate’s items and surprised Bluejr with a rug to cover the hideous tile floor. We said our goodbye’s and gave Bluejr some alone time before his roommate arrived safely in time for the dorm meeting. It was like ripping a piece of my soul out. I cried until we got to the stadium, about a mile walk…Bluedad held me up. We got a nice call from the roommate’s mom last night thanking us, saying he was just so tired and glad he had everything right there to get in bed. From what I understand through the grapevine I don’t think the kids saw much of their beds last night…quite the party. It was sweet of her to call.</p>
<p>Please forgive me for not catching up on all the posts right now. Gentle hugs to all, you are dear to me.</p>
<p>I have Monday off and will take the time to read everyones move in and college transition story. </p>
<p>S & H fly out Monday. Orientation begins Wed but H got an early move in time on Monday. S can’t live in room til Wed but can move in all his stuff Mon. We spent the weekend at our summer place in Maine. It was heartwarming to have some folks give him a card with cash "to buy himself a “nonalcoholic” beverage to some glasses with lobsters and crabs on them to remind him of all the good time he has had there over the years. S went out to see his friends tonight for the last time before becoming a college student. It bothers H he doesn’t want to spend his last night with us, but totally understandable I think. </p>
<p>Everything is packed and ready to go. I asked S to let me know of any last minute items he forgot or needs when he gets to school, unless it can be bought at the local target/walmart,etc. I will just order online and have it overnighted. H is stressed enough, and really sad about S’s leaving. I have to remind S to make sure he spends the next few days enjoying his time with Dad. T gave them some Groupons for college town restaurants, one a really nice upscale nice steak place. I hope they use them, I know will be spending a lot of cash during movein. </p>
<p>I am driving them to the airport in the morning. I am hoping I don’t cry. State Police don’t allow long goodbyes at the airport dropoff.:(</p>
<p>Bit of a rough week-end. I’ve been weepy and anxious. DS was so eager to get us out after we moved him in that I left without his address! Yesterday I called him to get it and he was completely unwilling to visit. Today he has called twice! First time to complain that his fan was too noisy but the room was stifling without it and to state that the printer was broken and he was going to buy a new one. DH told him to seek tech support before abandoning printer from home. Second call- he was grateful when I offered to send him a tower fan. He said that he called for support for printer and it was indeed broken. DH gave blessing to get another one. Then DS said he didn’t like his hall- spending time at another one. Someone already got sent home for smoking pot. Lots of hangovers being reported… ugh! Still, in all, he sounded excited and somewhat confident. I know there will lots of ups and downs over the next few months. Trying to be supportive and upbeat, but not rush to help. Thanks to everyone with previous experience with these calls. Keep your advice coming!</p>
<p>Thanks for the welcome! FLMathMom, happy travels along I-95. Which Candidates Weekend were you at? We were at the first one. I’ll look for you on Saturday - it can’t be that hard with just 87 members in the class. Do you have any idea what to expect that day? It looks like there is some sort of program for both parents and students in the afternoon? </p>
<p>To those who did the big move this weekend, I send warm wishes to each of you. This time next week, I’ll be in your same situation… I think I need a glass of wine (whine?)</p>
<p>
how nice of her to call. And nice of you to help out roommate. I know at the preorientation theing I went to with S in June he never went to bed. The kids (at least the ones he was with) were up all night. S is very ready to move on. I am excited to see how he does in this next phase of his life. </p>
<p>momofzach - hope tornado is just a rumor and storm passes quickly by.</p>
<p>OK I am so proud and pleased to be able to post this. We dropped off my son this weekend at my alma mater. That alone was enough excitement for me to last a lifetime.
Rewind 16 years when my son was 3 yo. He had issues and we took in to see a neurologists at the childrens hospital to make this very long story very short. He was diagnosed with Autism. The Dr told us he was autistic with possible severe mental retardation. Needless we were devastated our only child and we had no idea what to do.
But as people do when they are desperate they take desperate measures. We turned our home into a 24 / 7 autistsm treatment center. We changed all of his food. Spent a fortune on one on one intervention which we did both at home and at the centers. Years passed and progress was slow. But was what evident from day one was that he was very bright and caught on quick.
It was tough schools made it very difficult on us. Finally we decided to put him in public school (best move ever made) he was mainstreamed. And bloomed like a spring flower.
Although making friends was tough. He managed to make a few. His grades were spectacular. He grauduated this year with a 5.41 gpa, made a 2070 sat and a 31 act. Was admitted to every college he applied to. And he was offered scholarships to 2 top Univerities.
As you can all imagine this weekend was to both my wife and myself the icing on the cake. We kept the diagnosis from the neurologist as a reminder to never ever take anything for granted again.</p>
<p>Funny thing is we have yet to shed a tear. We left him Saturday morning and drove 5.5 hours back to our home. And we have yet to shed a tear. Sure we miss him and it will be tough getting used not having him at home. But you see my friends our future 16 years ago was very bleak and we thought our son would be dependant on us for his entire life. So the fact that he has beat Autism and become one of the top students in our state makes it impossible for us to be sad.</p>
<p>thanks for listening and good luck to all of your children and to you in the future.</p>
<p>God Bless (sorry if this ofends you, it is not intended to do so)</p>
<p>gator4ever – what a touching story! Thank you for sharing. Your son sounds like a wonderful boy, and he definitely has wonderful parents. :)</p>
<p>Wow, what a busy week for so many families! We’re just winding up son’s grad-goodbye party. Too bad most of his friends had already left for college but we had a very full house with lots of our friends and a good time was had by all. Son is playing something or other with a handful of friends right now. I’m enjoying some alone time with you guys! </p>
<p>We had one neat moment. I bought these for son - [Amazon.com:</a> Chinese Sky Lanterns UFO Balloon: Everything Else](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Chinese-Sky-Lanterns-UFO-Balloon/dp/B0014GP7I4/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1313982577&sr=8-4]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Chinese-Sky-Lanterns-UFO-Balloon/dp/B0014GP7I4/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1313982577&sr=8-4) and the kids had fun sending them off. We had fun watching! Just a few more days before we head out - I’m not ready!</p>
<p>gator4ever, it is wonderful to hear your story and your son’s story. I have a former assistant whose child was diagnosed with some variant of autism and who after a very tough start is beginning to make real progress. I’m going to forward your post to her.</p>
<p>We’ve had disability and health challenges with both kids, though none so severe and I know what is like to investigate every avenue until you find something that works. Although ShawWife will shed tears when she drops ShawD off, I have never done so. With both kids doing so well after some really rough patches (including a couple of years in which we imagined ShawD having a restricted life), I feel delighted to see them go forth. However, I never shake the feeling that there’s a big pothole around the bend. But nary a tear from me, just proud smiles.</p>