Things I didn’t think about when sending a kid to college out of state- paying taxes on her income in two states. So annoying.
In other news, I just did the CSS Profile for the last time and I’m thrilled about that!
Hi All, just popping in. I can’t remember the last time I check this thread…Oldfort, D also tried to keep her schedule light this term so she could study for the LSAT. Unfortunately, as a student athlete, she has no control over her competition schedule and they travel quite a bit. But I haven’t heard any complaints…She also found out that one of her profs used to teach LSAT classes and said she could come to her with any questions.
I am enjoying reading all the check ins. Oldfort -I am in awe of your strength.
My 2012 is my youngest and is trying her best to give me a head of grey hair. She is not going to take the traditional path.
She has never felt her school was the right academic fit for her. She has stuck it out due to how well a fit it was socially and equine wise. She has decided to leave her school at the end of this quarter. She feels she is torn between 2 majors and isn’t feeling ready to make the decision. We have requested she take a leave in case she wants to go back to this school at a later date. It is an excellent school but it is her life.
She is proposing a couple of options. Her serious bf is graduating and will likely take a job in another part of the country. She might move with him and find work and explore schools in whatever area they end up in.
Her other idea that she is exploring is to find a working student position at a eventing barn for a year. Most include your housing and in many cases you also can bring and board your own horse.You work at the barn and in return get training and in many cases you show the barns horses at their expense. She feels it would give her a good opportunity to ride with a top trainer and ride some high end horses. She feels it is a good time in her life to have this type of adventure.
I am trying to be supportive but also reminding her of the real life consequences. No school means she will have to support herself and her horse. So I am just trying to let her have some control of her own life. We will pay for school at a point when she is ready.
mom60 - it is not easy on us when our kids decide to take a different path, but as you said it is her life. It takes a lot more strength to let go.
@mom60 D1 is a serious rider. She has friends who have gone the working student route. Hard work, low pay, but they can support themselves if they are with the right trainer (needs to be a big competition barn) and are willing to groom and road manage (good tips). Sounds like a better option than moving in with the bf since that would be less likely to finish the degree. There doesn’t seem to be much point to staying in a school she does not like and earning a degree she will likely not use. I think you are wise to let her get a taste of life and make her own decisions. Seems like she is thinking it through and not just impulsively leaving school. Good luck!
mom60, the path isn’t always a straight one. In fact, sometimes, taking a few detours is helpful in defining what our real goals are. Our oldest just graduated this winter and is now freelancing in graphic design (his major) but he is actively working on his music, his true passion. DH and I are happy that he’s moving forward no matter which path he ultimately takes.
Mom60, your D at least has some things that she wants to do. I personally would not be so happy if my D was putting off her own interests only to follow a bf, but if she can go with the bf and find a school that isn’t so bad. If your D gets a chance to work with horses, which she is passionate about, that isn’t bad either. I would be upset too that she had come this far only to stop short, but sometimes this is the right thing to do. Without going into distracting details, my D was surprised to find that two of her friends were on leaves of absence this semester. They had not spoken of doing so, but took the time off. I think that although we think it should get easier as the students progress through school, it may not be the case. Some majors have hard requirements which pose difficulties for some students. These were not the intro weed out courses, but may be a stumbling block all the same. Also sometimes when we feel pressured to rush through something due to money or other concerns, we don’t always make the right decision. Both my H and I have certain regrets that we didn’t take some time to do something different before going on to grad school. Opportunities for personal development can be really worth it.
Good luck.
Hello all! S is upstairs sleeping! He came home for spring break, though none of his friends are here. He just likes to come home and chill out, not go on any trips. We’ll see if he gets bored with just us this week. He’s narrowing his focus in comp sci and after strolling through a few different things I was unsure if he’d graduate on time. So far so good. His issue is disliking the other necessary courses so much. Hard to believe we’re talking about “real” jobs and where he’d want to live after graduation. Seems a minute ago we were dealing with applying to colleges!
Enjoy your time with S. Can’t believe our kids are next in line for launch.
My guy is home for the week too since his planned return trip to Haiti got cancelled a few weeks ago. I feel sorry for him, but am secretly pleased to have him home - such a bad mama! He’s applying for URoc’s Take 5, so is finishing up his app for that. What he wants to do is impressive (at least to me)! It’s mainly adding studies about politics/money and African Development - what works and what doesn’t. I wouldn’t mind auditing some of those courses to be honest!
If he doesn’t get the fifth year (Take 5), then he plans on a gap year doing something medical - either back in Africa or in the states - then applying to med school. With his current plans he has far more schooling ahead, but he enjoys it so tells me it’s not a problem. This summer, besides interning, he’ll be studying for the new MCAT. Has anyone had experience with that yet?
@mom60 My youngest is more like you describe - though not with horses. He’s a freshman now, but we’re already not sure he will stick with school. Time will tell.
To those who have kids coming home for spring break, have fun! D has never come home in the spring because of her sport. The team has had to tough it out in Florida every year. 
Creekland, your S’s plans are impressive!
D is also entertaining the idea of a gap year before law school. She’s been doing all of the thinking/planning on her own and we will most likely know what her decision is in the summer.
Oldfort, how do you think the weather will be in early April in your neck of the woods? My youngest and I may plan a last minute trip but I’m nervous about the weather!
Thank you all for your support. I am surprised I am not more upset. This is my child who has never liked school. But still did well. She has learning disabilities, add and anxiety but has always been able to force herself to perform academically. I honestly believe she has given the school a chance. Her bf is a great guy and I think it is a long term relationship that will lead to marriage. He has been supportive of her continuing in school at their present school and him taking a job within 2 hours distance. But I really don’t see her finishing at her present school.
The difficult equation is how to deal with the horse. We have always told her that we will not support her and the horse if she is not in school. By leaving her school she will need to leave her resident supervisor job at one of the university equestrian facilities. It has been a great learning opportunity.
In the meantime I just can love her and listen. I don’t want to tell her what to do.
Lilmom- my middle ( who was actually my kid who I never thought would finish school) is fully supporting himself as a graphic designer.
mom60 - life is not always a straight path, but one with lots of twists and turns! You have the right attitude just to love her and listen as she figures out what is next. Hang in there!
I know that we have talked before as my D was a serious equestrian with offers from NCAA Division 1 schools to ride in college. She ultimately decided not to ride and went to NYC for college and only lasted a semester there for a variety of reasons. She has been home for 2 years going to cc and is waiting to hear what schools she got into in California. Horses were her life for 13 years, but she has been away from it for 2 1/2 years and I know at times she really misses the life she had with her horse. My D is excited to see where she ends up next. She has worked very hard since coming home and has a 3.97 GPA so she should have some good choices for schools.
lilmom - just saw your post. If you mean NYC, April should be lovely. It maybe 50-60s, but you could also get lucky and get high 60s. If you want some restaurants recommendations, let me know.
Thinking of you Mom60.
Today is DD’s last day home with us during her spring break. I am so sad to se her leave, but so happy to see the woman she has become.
My guy hasn’t found out about his Take 5 app yet, but he did get selected to join a paid internship at Stanford over the summer. Supposedly approx 240 applied and they accepted 13. I’ve decided with the impression he makes on others (across the board), I no longer have to be concerned that he’ll get accepted to med school somewhere in a couple of years. That’s a relief! Paying for it is still a biggie…
But this summer is now set. Fortunately his internship ends two days before he starts next year’s RA job - in a freshmen hall again - he’ll never know what it’s like to live anywhere but with freshmen - the eternal Peter Pan of college students! But he loves it and does a good job. That’s what counts.
Congratulations Creekland. It is always good to know your has a job.
Show mom- I remember. My D switched to eventing once she got to college and has never looked back on the hunter jumper world. She has come to enjoy dressage. I don’t think she will ever be far from horses. Wishing your daughter lots of good choices this spring.
Glido- thank you for your thoughts. I am okay with her decision. I know she will find the path that is right for her. This is the start of the new quarter and I know it is bittersweet for her to not be headed to new classes. She is still living and working on campus so she feels the energy and pulse of the school schedule. I feel confident that this is the right decision for her. In many ways she is mature beyond her years. As for spring break we met her for the afternoon a few hours from us where she spent her break. Due to her job and horse she has never come home for any extended period of time.
Congrats to those with summer jobs and internships.
Creekland- hoping you are in good health.
D’12 received an email today from the company she’s interning with this summer, stating that; if all goes as planned, she will receive an offer for a FT position upon graduation, in one of 3 cities of her choosing.
I guess this college thing might work out after all. #:-S