<p>@Apollo6 - Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your son. No words can truly communicate the deep sorrow I feel for you and your family. {{{hugs}}}</p>
<p>momreads,</p>
<p>We were able to visit Kentucky last week and were impressed. They do know how to do hospitality! DD got to visit with a professor in her field of interest (linguistics) and was absolutely giddy with joy by the end of the conversation. The professor seemed pretty pleased too, pulling a poster off his wall and a book off his shelf to give her. All the way home (12 hours in the car!) I heard her trying out different phonemes in the back seat…“s!” “s!” “sh!” “p!” “b!” as she worked through the textbook he gave her.</p>
<p>It’s hard to not like a place that has that effect on your kid. 
The offer (actually the Patterson scholarship, which means she’s still eligible for the NMF award as well) is very generous. If she adds the extra year to get her master’s, she’d either have to spend her savings or (hopefully) get a TA-ship which includes a tuition waiver, but what a blessing to be able to keep her savings until grad school.</p>
<p>Still, if she gets accepted to Cornell or Yale, this could change. They have such generous FA that they could be affordable too, and she hasn’t visited either one as an accepted student. That would be a much more personal visit than the general tours. So we’ll see. It’s so good to have options already, though.</p>
<p>We’re not applying to Alabama because of the distance, because DD doesn’t want to go somewhere outside a day’s drive. I have heard great things about Alabama, though.</p>
<p>And there’s still Binghamton, which would mean we could still have her home for a few more years! But I guess we have to be strong and let her go, (sniff). </p>
<p>@Apollo6, it has been a very long time since I have been on this board, but I remember you well. You are in my thoughts. I will never know the why, but I know that you are a caring, loving mother. Thinking out you with healing thoughts. </p>
<p>This is certainly a shock to all if of us. It is a reminder to me that so much of life is beyond our control. Each day is a blessing to cherish. Parenting is hard. We set expectations , we guide, we provide. Knowing when guidance becomes pressure, when backing off becomes giving up is near to impossible to gauge. Every child and family is different. If our motives come from love and hope for a happy life, then we have done our best. All any of us can do is hug our kids a little tighter, let them know they are loved through it all and simply be there for them. Take care of your families today my 2014 friends!</p>
<p>Been browsing on occasion from afar , but reading Apollo6’s post made my heart stop. S12 lost his best friend in
HS and I lost a dear highly accomplished friend many years ago, in the same manner. It’s truly incomprehensible and I am certain that nothing you did or did not do was a factor. Depression is a very intimate pain often kept hidden from the world. My heartfelt condolences Apollo. I hope and pray that you have family and good friends to hold you close and that you are able to find a good resource in your community.
Hugs and prayers for you and your family</p>
<p>@Apollo6 words cannot express how truly sorry I felt reading your post. Sending prayers to you and your family. Be well and God Bless you.</p>
<p>Like so many of you, I was so grief-stricken at Apollo6’s devastating news about her son. It just puts so much in perspective. It feels so trite to be worrying about college acceptances when one of our own is suffering so much loss. It’s an invaluable lesson that we need to talk to our kids and teach them the resolve to overcome their own adversity but also provide them with the tools and resources to deal with anxiety and depression. Go2girl is out of town for spring break and I just needed to hear her voice. That’s all that really matters.</p>
<p>Apollo6, I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are able to find some peace one day.</p>
<p>Clearly, if a parent suspects that their child is anxious or depressed, they need to seek out resources to help that child. That’s not difficult when an outgoing child suddenly becomes withdrawn, or the child disengages from their family, friends and activities. But what do you do when your child exhibits no outward signs of depression as was the case with Apollo’s S? As parents, I think we sometimes over estimate our ability to “read” our children. If someone wants to hide their inner turmoil for fear of burdening or dissappointing their loved ones (even though such fears are unwarranted), it is shocking how successful they can be. To add another layer of complexity, even when a teen’s behavior does concern the parent, it is difficult to know whether it is normal teenage hormones and adjustment, or something more serious. As frightening as it is to acknowledge, I believe that sometimes there is nothing one can do, or that one could’ve done to change the outcome.</p>
<p>@go2mom - Totally agree with your comment about this tragedy putting college acceptances into perspective, and that having happy and healthy kids to love is most important. I hope, however, that our community will continue to share news (hopefully more good than bad) regarding their acceptances and journey. There is joy to be celebrated in our kids journeys ahead and joy is needed most in the midst of profound sadness.</p>
<p>I made a point of hugging each of my girls, and asking them if they were happy – the older two looked at me funny, said, “yeah, of course I’m happy” and then when I explained what had happened, they were both deeply saddened, and puzzled that I would worry about them in that way. I tried to explain that not every person struggling with this kind of pain shows it on the outside, and that I just needed them to know I was there to help them with anything, and how much I loved them. </p>
<p>I’m pretty close to all of my kids, since I’m a stay at home mom, was attending the same CC as the older two and we each took a class together and took opportunities for on campuses lunches together, etc. I know their friends, and the one BF in our lives. (He and I text somewhat regularly, and I like to think that he values the parental support and sounding board, since he doesn’t have that at home). But as close as I am to my kids, I know that this could just as easily happen to my family. So I thank Apollo6 for sharing her loss and pain, and giving so many families a chance and the wake-up call to have that needed conversation with their own kids. </p>
<p>Hi everyone - with my thoughts & deepest sympathies still with Apollo6 and her family, I am going to ask who else is waiting on big decisions tomorrow? We have a couple coming in, but not sure if they will change anything at this point.</p>
<p>We have a couple coming in–the lottery schools. I am a bit frustrated that very few of the schools have their 2014/2015 tuition and fees posted on their websites. I also wonder why Naviance has not updated the financial aid info for schools. Some of them report financial info from 2012/2013! Makes it very difficult to put together an accurate spreadsheet!</p>
<p>We’ve got 2 lottery schools and Berkeley tomorrow. Expecting at least 2 rejections, but so glad he’s got UCLA in the wings. Good luck to everyone tomorrow (and beyond).</p>
<p>One more school to hear from - waiting on the official NO, lol, from his ED deferral. </p>
<p>@go2mom - yes, I have seen some comments about tuition jumps in the several thousands at some schools. This is pretty important info to have. One of the schools D is waiting on is USC, which is almost certainly going to be unaffordable for us since she did not get one of their large merit awards. I don’t want her to get excited about an acceptance that is really a “financial rejection.”</p>
<p>We are waiting on one last school, UCB, tomorrow. Then it will be the wait for FA packages so we know which is the most affordable. Most of her schools are UC’s, but she is up for some scholarships which could tip the balance. Also, I told her she needs to visit at least two of the schools accepted student days before deciding, as she either didn’t go visit, or visited during a holiday when the school was deserted. So it will be late April, after our trip to Santa Cruz, before there is a final decision. </p>
<p>DS waiting on 4 tomorrow (or later). Based on Naviance, watching these forums, the phases of the moon, tide graphs and sacrificial bird entrails, I predict the following: </p>
<p>Princeton (predict rejection)
Stanford (predict rejection, I don’t actually know when this one is coming. No portal, unless he’s doing it wrong)
Duke (predict waitlist, possible financial rejection)
USC (predict financial rejection, possible waitlist)</p>
<p>P.S. No birds were harmed in the making of this message. Although, I’ve clearly lost my mind. </p>
<p>@PetraElise, How frustrating that your D has acceptances but not financial aid offers… that limbo must be excruciating! Why do they do it that way?</p>
<p>Waiting on 2 lottery schools tomorrow and two additional lottery schools to possibly be released Fri. D already has two acceptances in hand that she could see herself at, although one is contingent on a generous FA pkg, which she should hear about by 4 April. In the meanwhile, D is very busy working on scholarship apps.</p>
<p>S14 was waitlisted from Oberlin today and is totally crushed. With a rejection from Northwestern and wait list from Oberlin, there’s no way he got into Brown. The financial aid package from Michigan is posted so we’ll need to compare Michigan and Kalamazoo and figure out what he wants to do. One is all grants so it is based on our financial situation. The other is primarily merit aid and then higher loan amounts but the merit aid is guaranteed all four years if he keeps a 2.5. </p>
<p>I’m having so many regrets right now but it’s very hard to see your kid have his dreams fall apart before his eyes. </p>