<p>@vvs2010 - My d is also going to a school far from home (12 hrs) and I have my moments. She does too. Her other choice is a school where several kids will be attending, and may actually have a better reputation for her major. This other darn school won’t stop emailing and mailing - lol </p>
<p>Any other kids have boy/girl friend they’ll be separating from? D has been dating him for a year and a half now, they didn’t even apply to any of the same schools. He’s getting way clingier than her, and it’s starting to drive her nuts. Her philosophy is let’s wait and see how it goes - his parents were hs sweethearts. He’s the kid that you know if they met 5 years from now could be the one, but not at this phase of their lives.</p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom If it helps, my D also banned college talk in late February to late March. If I tried to bring something up, I’d get the exasperated, “Can we NOT talk about this now?!” When I asked her, at one point, why she didn’t want to discuss it, she explained that she’d concentrated on it for so many months, and that at this point she felt there was NOTHING more she could do or decide until the decisions came out, so she did not want to think about it. Perhaps your son feels a bit like that. Maybe he feels like he cannot really evaluate further until he gets on campus for the visits… seems valid.</p>
<p>Morning all! We seem to be in a holding pattern at this house. All acceptances are in; one scholarship interview and one more school to visit. Waiting on financial aid packages for two of his top three schools. Son received unexpected scholarship info yesterday and of course it was from a school that is not on his shortlist. </p>
<p>I stopped checking son’s grades towards the end of last year; I figured I wouldn’t be doing that when he moves away, so it was a good time to taper off. I still ask him the ‘how are your classes?’ ‘how are your grades?’ questions and he seems to be doing just fine. <em>whew</em> </p>
<p>@vvs2010 - my son applied to all state schools with the exception of one which is 10 hours away. I dont think anyone from his school has EVER applied there so I have no personal stories about it. But I have come to have peace about it if this is where he chooses to go. I have tried to raise him to be independent and see this as just another step on his road to adulthood. </p>
<p>Our school system doesn’t rank kids and I am happy they don’t. It’s already an ultra-competitive environment, with many kids under tremendous stress. I can only imagine what vying for a ranking would do to them. Of course, it probably wouldn’t have made a bit of difference with DS, who is a slacker compared to many of his peers at school, LOL. </p>
<p>There’s a teensy bit of senioritis around here, although not too much. His grades are about where they’ve always been and he seems diligent about his homework. But I’m not too worried about it, so long as he doesn’t get rescinded. These past 3.5 years have been full of hard work and late nights and I’d rather see him happy and relaxed these last few months with his friends. </p>
<p>I also don’t see any frustration or dissatisfaction with HS. In fact, as I’ve posted before, he and his friends are making the most of their remaining time together as they know they will be scattered to the four winds in just a few months. They are all ready for the next stage in their lives, but they also realize that their time together is coming to a close. Their school really is a special place, and alumni come back in droves during breaks to visit old friends, teachers, and administrators. DS says that they always tell him, “You don’t realize what you have here until you go to college” both in terms of academics and student life. </p>
<p>@momreads – I’m a guy who’s been an athlete-wannabe my whole life, and your son’s track/running accomplishments just blow me away. Wow. And as noted before, this is not serendipity. This is the result of a lot of hard work bearing fruit. As our older girls (now in their 30’s) would have said in their teens, “OH MY GOD”.</p>
<p>So we went to the Scholar’s Day at Sewanee, where my son will attend next year and I have to say that I was completely surprised by how NICE all the other parents were! We all had lunch together in the cafeteria and there was absolutely no competitive vibe from anyone. Everyone just seemed genuinely happy to be there and proud of their kids. </p>
<p>I liked the fact that some kids were still deciding and they didn’t try to give anyone a hard sell one way or the other. The president of Sewanee is great and in his address he mostly talked about data – about where students end up after college and what they end up doing. There was not at all a ‘rah rah’ sort of feel. No “we’re the best” or “you’re the best”. It was actually rather businesslike. </p>
<p>For us, it confirmed that we are making the right decision. However, I did cry when we got there early the night before and drove around the campus. It was all so real. He’s really leaving.</p>
<p>Oh, and I met a woman who had QUADRUPLETS! Her kids did something like forty applications this year. Can you even imagine? I asked this poor mom how many college visits they had done and she said that they had lost count! She seemed relatively cool and collected (and sane) considering the circumstances . . . (I wished I had met her earlier, so that when I was freaking out about my son’s apps, I could have thought – at least we don’t have to do forty of them!)</p>
<p>Sorry - struggling with the “Search” and no time this morning to scroll back. Somebody mentioned that their daughter was using an iPhone app to help with the Pros / Cons decision-making process. D14 would probably use that (didn’t like Mom and Dad’s suggestion of “write down your list on paper”). Thanks!</p>
<p>@Momzie - Not sure how I missed our Sewanee overlap, especially since it isn’t often mentioned on CC! D was unable to attend ECB weekend. She is planning a trip with an overnight later in April. In all likelihood, I will see you on the Domain!</p>
<p>@eyemamom - D also has a serious BF. Definitely in the category of “likely to marry if they met 5 years from now.” I think their impending separation is causing them both some grief. However, they didn’t let their relationship influence their choice of schools. They will probably be about 5 hours apart and have been making plans for monthly visits! </p>
<p>The whole Long Distance Relationship thing is really much easier now than it used to be. The Internet, texting, Facetime and Skype make it much simpler (and cheaper!). My D met her current BF the summer before she started at Barnard. He was starting his junior year at the University of Michigan. They have dealt with long distance for two years now and are still going strong. He goes out there a few times a year and she comes home for breaks a few times a year so they see each other about once a month. He is graduating at the end of the month and has secured a job in NYC so they will be living in the same city come May. They are a good fit, I think. I like him a lot. </p>
<p>@eyemamom my current d has purposely stayed out of relationships, but my first one had a bf of 2 years at the time of college graduation. My feeling is that kids need to start college fresh. Over the years, I have seen a few students with hs sweethearts stay together and then marry, but it’s rare. That bf/gf back home or at another school is more likely to keep the kid from integrating as he or she is to act as a support system. There’s little you can do to influence the course of events, however. It’s another of life’s smile and nod moments as they figure it out, I guess. </p>
<p>the pro-con list was indecisive… the pro-con list party with friends has been postponed… coins are being flipped… websites that will “pick your college” consulted… fortune cookies being opened… anyone have a magic 8 ball? Really, we’re about one misfired brain cell away from tea leaves and spilled goat entrails. I really think we’d be captaining the SS Indecision, but we just aren’t sure about whether leaving port is a good idea or not, so we’ve cast off half the lines, gotten a head of steam up in one of the boilers, and we’re currently thinking about that pair of socks we left back on shore…</p>
<p>D14’s BF is a year ahead, so they’ve already been apart for the bulk of a school year, but seem even more connected than ever. Skype and texting definitely help a long distance relationship survive. I also think it helps that neither is into casual dating, so they don’t seem to feel they are missing out by being in a long distance relationship. He stays at our house during breaks (D14 moves in with little sister and he takes D14’s room downstairs) and has become a part of the family. If D14 goes to UCSC, there is a cheap shuttle that runs betw his school and UCSC, so they can get together once or twice a month, and he has a good friend attending UCSC, so BF14 can crash in his room if needed. H and I feel good about that option – close, but not so close that D14 won’t experience college activities because they are always together. </p>
<p>Of course, she hasn’t heard about the puppies at UCSD yet. They might not be as much competition for her as kittens though.</p>
<p>And a warning: don’t watch any movies about a child leaving home. I turned on the Miyazaki film “Kiki’s Delivery Service” the other day, and it begins with a 13-year-old girl getting excited and leaving home to make her way in the big city. I almost couldn’t take it… men aren’t supposed to cry over animated films! Need to retreat to my man cave and turn on ESPN for something utterly useless like world’s strongest man competitions…</p>
<p>@TitanAPBioTchr - glad to hear I’m not the only one having teary moments. DS14 and I aren’t seeing eye to eye on the college selection and to top it off he really wants to do ROTC. I’ve always known he leaned toward the service but I really hoped it’d change and the closer it gets the more worried I get. Plus the ROTC is offering him a full-ride…it only requires an 8 year commitment after graduation.</p>
<p>On a positive note, the stress diet works great! </p>
<p>@TitanAPBioTchr — That is one of my kid’s (all three of them) all time favorite movies. I definitely don’t want to watch it now, because it would be too nostalgic in combination with the growing up and moving out theme. Phil Hartman was phenomenal in his role as Gigi – I think it was one of the last projects he worked on before he passed. </p>
<p>@TitanAPBioTchr That’s when you put them both in a hat, let your student pull one out but don’t open it yet. Then ask “Which one are you hoping in your gut is written on that paper?” When you pull one, you almost always have a gut reaction "I hope it’s… " </p>
<p>Toy Story 3 came out when BarnardGirl was a senior. Definitely one to avoid. The year I graduated from high school, the Facts of Life girls- Blair and Jo- graduated on the show. I was a basket case that whole episode as the reality hit that I was going to really be leaving. </p>
<p>Tears of joy (and a bit of sadness) that the decision is made! It’ll be Syracuse Orange Nation at our house for the next four years. D is so excited…but we’re not sure if it’s because she’ll be going to her #1 choice all along, or that she can start planning her dorm decorating ;-). Tonight we’ll attend the SU accepted student reception in our town and hopefully D can meet some future class of 2018 students. </p>
<p>Time to stock up on REI winter gear now! Good thing this fashionista is into boots. She’s going to need them in Syracuse.</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement. It’s been quite the adventure and we’re officially one and done.</p>
<p>Congrats to everyone on the wonderful acceptance and decisions. I know it was a very difficult one at our house, passing up a fabulous Big U flagship 10 miles from our house for a private school 1/2 the size 3,000 miles away. </p>
<p>Congrats @momofwon! Still no winner here, but last tour tomorrow. I think S is humoring us and the decision is made. I have doubts about it, which is making what should be a time of relief and joy not so much.</p>