<p>Survived graduation and the small dinner party we had for a dozen people beforehand. I did all the cooking and even had enough for some random friends who just happened to stop by. Now DH can’t complain that I am making too much food. Ha!</p>
<p>DS made it to the Outer Banks after 6 hours of driving with friends and from what I can tell from social media, is having a good time. 26 of them in a house, plus a few who are coming just for a few days. </p>
<p>Parents are still here but they leave tomorrow and then it will be quiet in the house with only one kid until DS returns on Sunday. A harbinger of things to come.</p>
<p>LOL to all the posts about nest fouling. My daughter, also, has been giving us major attitude lately. I had to talk to her yesterday that I don’t appreciate it. Could it be that it’s all part of how they are coping of what’s ahead of them? You know, going away for college, away from family and friends and boyfriend/girlfriend. new place, new school, new friends uncertain if they made the right decision, etc… She’s been attending some going-away parties lately. Most are athletes that need to be at the college for summer training.</p>
<p>More nest-fouling here. Friends with older kids have pointed out that if they were still fun to have around it would be much harder to watch them go.
I agree with 2018dad, it’s hard on them too, trying to be independent when part of them would still rather rely on mom, dad and the old familiar friends and teachers. So if they behave 'badly" it might get us to pay attention and react in some old familiar ways too.
It’s bad enough my poor addled mother acts like a preschooler, now I have a high school graduate (almost, ceremony is Thursday) needing to be told when to go to bed and to eat something besides candy. Ai-yi-yi …</p>
<p>Mine will be using the dirtiest bathroom ever because she won,t clean it and losing her car for not scheduling the routine maintenance (or giving me a schedule so I could do it)</p>
<p>I am on an emotional roller coaster ! I am happy that my son had a great experience at orientation and confident that he will find his tribe and settle in. I also think he will take school a little more seriously and reach for the A’s .
However, I want to be there for him - hold on tight and never let him go …it is preschool all over again…I need to let go and know it will be OK…</p>
<p>Part my emotional roller coaster is that I have been offered a new job at my company ( actually it is this job or no job). It is a great opportunity but I need to start working in Sourhern CT on July 7…I am a mess…I don’t want to be that far from my S but it really is only a month early…he leaves on Aug 15 …</p>
<p>I should be very happy to be given this new opportunity but I find myself crying because I want to be home with my S, who for the most part fouling is the nest! What is wrong with me! </p>
<p>Hang in there @onlyonemom! Sometimes life presents challenges that force us to let go long before we feel we’re able. I went through something similar two years ago when my husband had a major medical emergency and I had to trust both my kids to behave responsibly and to rise to the occasion. They were both wonderful, given the circumstances, and I think they really appreciated my honesty with them. Consider sitting down with your son to tell him how hard all this is for you and that you know you’ve raised him to be the kind of young man who will help make this transition as smooth as possible for BOTH of you. He may very well surprise you (in a good way), and you owe him that chance to be there for you. </p>
<p>And now back to relationship drama…remember the trip to hawaii? The boyfriend and the breakup? Well guess who is dating again? sigh I can hardly keep up with all the teenage angst.</p>
<p>Seems like a lot of D’s friends are “fouling the nest” with each other. Lots of petty fighting. I wonder if they realize that they are trying to break free from each other…and it could be so much more pleasant.</p>
<p>@MImama that makes perfect sense to me, but I don’t think I’ve seen or read about it before. Anybody else seeing that? Other than ditching the bf, the oldest didn’t go through this, but she wasn’t a very social person. Haven’t seen it yet with the '14.</p>
<p>Just after graduation D was so done with everyone from high school. A week or two later she was back spending time with her usual friends. I hope the short break was enough to convince her that she doesn’t have to push her friends away to move on.</p>
<p>My son is so introverted, he doesn’t really have friends to push away! </p>
<p>No arguments with us, but he is going in the room more and closing the door, saying he’s had enough conversation. At the same time, he’s initiating more in unexpected ways (e.g., noticing the toilet mechanism was loose and fixing it), and he’s very on top of the information from college. I feel him pulling away, and I’m the one having a hard time. </p>
<p>@LuckieTheLakie- thank you for the prospective and advice. Health issues and concerns are far worse than what I am going through. One of my staff ( soon to be former staff) has multiply family health and other issues that I could not imagine dealing with. I need to start the list what I am thankful for…it will help me cope. ( wine also helps! and humor! )
In addition to the college transition and job taking me to CT…I don’t have a good feeling about my new role . I work for a start up and there is a lot of uncertainty and my new boss is really intense. She is new to the company and it doesn’t seem like she “fits” with the corporate culture. My gut is telling me to walk away but I need the income…so I decided to try it out for a couple of months and then make a decision. The downside is that I am not fully committed but if it doesn’t work out it will be easy to pull up stakes and go home…</p>
<p>On the bight side my son started his new job and is doing Ok. My H tells me he has been S has been getting himself up and out the door for a 7am start time! He gets out at no and heads to his x GF’s house…hmm…they broke up months ago but never stop being friends… young love…I hope they are able to move on after the summer…at least I hope S will…August 15 is not far away! </p>
<p>Graduation in about 2 hours. So far I don’t feel any emotional tug, probably because I’m still doing things like waking her up to get her moving.
Relationships with her friends still seem to be fine, this weekend of parties may affect some of that. </p>
<p>I wish she’d be more on top of college info. Her school (RIT) has a very active parents group on facebook, and every day she asks me what are the parents talking about. I know she’s been on the student group page, and she does message with her future roommate. Maybe she is getting there, little by little. </p>
<p>Graduation was last night. It began to rain just at the end. Hard to believe that as of August 21, we’ll be empty nesters. Looking back, though it’s no walk in the park to raise two boys, for the most part, I had a blast. I can’t imagine anything I’d rather have done. I love these boys, and just as importantly, I like them, too. Overall, it’s been a joy and I’m so incredibly grateful for the experience. </p>
<p>D’s graduation ceremony included one very special graduate, a WWII veteran who didn’t get his diploma 73 years ago because he was busy fighting in France. So very moving. The program called it Operation Recognition. Have you seen this at any of your students’ ceremonies?</p>
<p>@MIMama I definitely saw the “fouling of the friends” with my D and her group. It was very intense and some of the friendships haven’t recovered. On top of the fouling among them, one of the girls in her group passed away from cancer on July 7th that summer. All of the girls, including the deceased’s twin sister, handled it differently. Some partied heavily when they had never done that before, some clung to each other, others isolated themselves. It was an awful summer. Really. Awful. Summer. </p>
<p>My son got notice that he was accepted to Michigan’s UROP program which is a research program that he can also use for work study. Pretty darn good way to earn money and get to work on real research. </p>
<p>He starts his job at the restaurant today. First real job! Woohoo!</p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom : I can’t even imagine losing a friend to cancer that young. That would definitely be an Awful Summer. It puts some perspective on the little bickering between friends.</p>
<p>Congrats on the UROP program for your son. Money and experience - can’t beat that! </p>
<p>DD found out that she got a job with campus dining - a couple of shifts per week and she will save a bundle on board, plus gets a paycheck. Not bad.</p>
<p>Thought I’d pop back here for a breather…DD graduates tomorrow, and while I’ve been pretty steady up to now, I’m beginning to get pretty sad. That’s what I get for getting my party list done <em>early</em> for probably the first time ever.</p>
<p>@2018dad, she’s also going to Cornell. I’m also very glad that they aren’t doing orientation already. Some of DD’s classmates are having to go to their orientations this week and it’s pretty awkward timing.</p>
<p>DD got a triple instead of a double. One of her roommates is someone she met at Cornell Days in April, and one is someone new. Both of them are engineers, though, so she’ll likely have good role models for studying hard (she’s taking linguistics). She is looking through the course offerings so that she will be ready to sign up online in July, but that will have to happen on the road since we’ll be camping then. We have some confusion about AP credit, though. We thought that her AP classes could help fill in some distribution requirements but now I see, in the mailing on how to sign up for classes, something about AP not being allowed for distribution? Cornell has a page that tells what scores can replace which classes for various AP tests, but if they can’t be used in the major and can’t be used for distribution, then what use are they? Maybe I’m misunderstanding something here. </p>
<p>No shopping yet. That’s being put off for now. DD hates shopping, but I’m hoping to get her to go with me after we get back from our camping trip.</p>
<p>How is it possible that graduation is actually here?</p>
<p>@mdcmom
Congratulations! You are right that AP credts can’t be used to satisfy breadth/distribution requirements, but they can be used to satisfy the college’s (CAS) elective requirement. Also some majors accept AP credits to satisfy some requirements. My daughter’s major is Information Science (she changed it from CS) and she can use her AP Calc AB (score=5) credit to satisfy her Calc I requirement. I don’t think this is the case for Linguistics though. My daughter actually considering minoring in Linguistics (Computational) or maybe Cog Sci. Like your DD, she’s also assigned to a triple.</p>
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(she’s taking linguistics). She is looking through the course offerings so that she will be ready to sign up online in July, but that will have to happen on the road since we’ll be camping then. We have some confusion about AP credit, though. We thought that her AP classes could help fill in some distribution requirements but now I see, in the mailing on how to sign up for classes, something about AP not being allowed for distribution? Cornell has a page that tells what scores can replace which classes for various AP tests, but if they can’t be used in the major and can’t be used for distribution, then what use are they? Maybe I’m misunderstanding something here. 
</p>