<p>Well it’s not find out where"he money is going" Its OPs money. Everyone needs to live within their means, it’s a life lesson. Next year will be much easier when she is required to have her summer money saved. Wow, overtheedge, your D has a better budget than I do. </p>
<p>Thanks again to everyone for their insight! It has been very helpful. In retrospect, I wish I had D stock up on toiletries and snacks (beyond the basic initial supply) when we moved her in, as we’ll only see her at Christmas and summer break. She doesn’t have a car, so has been limited to shopping wherever her friends who drive are shopping, which is usually at the more expensive, close-by stores. No alcohol, and her eating out is mostly limited to the local frozen yogurt place (however, as delicious and healthy as it may be, it is not inexpensive and multiple trips add up quickly). She did just sign up for a Zipcar, and I suggested she make a monthly trip to Target to load up on toiletries and snack items at what should be a fraction of the price she’s paying now. I knew the cost of living would be more expensive than where we live, but didn’t realize how much more expensive. No doubt this will be a learning lesson for both of us.</p>
<p>1dilecon: Here is a suggestion. You could ship her some things that she needs like the toiletries. I’ve done that with my sons. Things like shampoo, toothpaste, an extra toothbrush (just in case strep strikes) and soap. </p>
<p>Recently I sent my younger son a small box filled with some of his favorite snacks – granola bars, raisins, fruit cups and soup. He loved it! Keeps that box in his room because he wants to enjoy it. He, too, is a college athlete on a meal plan. But, he also likes to snack in the afternoon while studying or watching sporting events. Those “mom” boxes are everything. Kids love them because you took the time to put one together with the things they like. My last box included a card with a $20 bill. My husband and I do deposit $100 in his account each month, so he can go out for Sunday dinner with his friends or a late-night trip to IHOP. While he loves his meal plan, he admits that it covers just 14 meals a week, so he welcomes the extra money we send. </p>
<p>One thing you need to ask your daughter is if she gets meal money when the team travels. In some cases, my son does not. So, the extra money we send is appreciated. Also, get a few gift cards for your daughter for Target and other places she likes. That should help.</p>
<p>I also have an older son in law school. He’s just 70 miles from home. But, we still surprise him with a gift card or two each month. Again, he really appreciates them when he’s had a long day, needs to go home and read for five hours and does not want to cook. Domino’s, he said, is on his walk home.</p>
<p>I’m in Boston and seeing my S and D together nuts makes me smile. And the smile and hug for the cookies makes it worth it</p>
<p>@Evergreen1929 - how wonderful to be able to see them both at the same time! And I’d say the cookies were definitely worth it! Enjoy!</p>
<p>We are on our way to see DS for parents weekend! This will be the first time all 4 of us have been together since August, although some combination of us have seen him since then. </p>
<p>I think DS is mostly excited for the jamon iberico I am bringing him! We get a monthly shipment from Spain and of course he’s not had any since he left. This month’s mailing just happened to come in time to make the trip so it’s been earmarked all for DS. yeah, we’re a bit strange. </p>
<p>Wow @2014novamom, had to look up jamon iberico, but it sounds delicious! How in the world did you ever discover that? Lucky DS!! So glad you’re all able to visit together this time! Have fun!!</p>
<p>I have figured out that DS is “playing” me a little bit regarding money. He is supposed to use his bank account (summer job earnings, graduation/birthday money) for spending money at college. So he asked if we would reimburse him for the bus ticket home for fall break - sure. Then he texted me to see if I could reimburse him $15 for a jacket. I just didn’t respond. I know he’s not freezing to death. Then he texted me from the bus station to see if I could transfer $10 into his account so he could get something to eat. I was not in a position to do that, and he said, that’s OK, I have some cash. So if you have some cash, why are you treating me like an ATM? I guess he thought it was a “travel expense” that I would pay for! I did hand him $20 when he got home…</p>
<p>@jeannemar – travel expense made me laugh! He is ready for a corporate expense account!</p>
<p>I don’t know if any of you watch Modern Family. For the past year my d has been claiming I’m “obsessed” with her. Yes, I dragged her butt through the college stuff and kept her on track and on task. So she was home for break and we watched Modern Family together. The family’s house had mold so they moved into a hotel for a few days. The dad pretended there was only one room so they could spend time together. Once the kids found out they started complaining and having a fit, and the oldest daughter claimed her father was obsessed with her. D and I just looked at each other and busted out laughing. I think it was the funniest lesson for her to see. </p>
<p>@soonmtrest - lol, I told her the same thing! All my money goes to tuition and R&B. While at Sewanee today, I noticed new boots, new purse and some new clothes in D’s closet. What she doesn’t spend on food is clearly spent shopping. It’s her money though and she worked hard over the summer to earn it. Given her shopping habits, I’m glad the girl has a knack for finding jobs and making money. </p>
<p>So far parents weekend has been nice. It was a beautiful, sunny fall day and the campus is breathtakingly beautiful. H and I met up with D, explored campus, attended a cocktail party and had dinner with D and BF. BF meh. More fun planned for tomorrow!</p>
<p>Overtheedge: My sons love clothing! When I went to visit my younger son for Parents Weekend, we learned that Belk was having an 80 percent off sale, as it was closing its one location in preparation for opening at a new mall. My son had a blast raiding the racks! In the end, we spent a little of $100, which included a shirt for his older brother and a pair of slacks for his dad. We saved nearly $1,000! My husband and I have plans to drive him back to school after Christmas break, so I have a feeling that he will send us back with some of the clothing he has (there just is not enough room for all of it!), because he gets stuff from his cross country/track coaches, too. </p>
<p>Looks like my son bought some inline skates. Last month he bought a laptop with his own money – my H reimbursed him but he wasn’t expecting that. He’s always been frugal so I don’t mind – seems to be considering these purchases carefully.</p>
<p>Just had a long phone conversation with S14. He spent last night, almost until dawn, taking care of three friends (one was his roommate), who drank way way too much. His roommate puked all over their room. Another friend passed out in the hallway of his dorm, resulting in an EMS call. The other friend was belligerent drunk, which really upset my son, as this kid is typically the sweetest kid in the world. There are all sorts of other details to the saga, but not worth going into here. Suffice it to say that it was a really long night.
I’m of course thrilled that my son was not one of the kids who got themselves in trouble, although I recognized he certainly might be one of these nights. It was certainly instructive for him to see all this, and just maybe he won’t have to do it himself to see the risks involved. He certainly thinks that his roommate, who is a wonderful kid, learned some lessons from this. We’ll see. Teenage boys (mine included) are by definition knuckleheads.
Anyway, just wanted to vent a bit, and breathe a small sigh of relief. S14’s school is not known as a particularly big drinking school, but I know that this stuff goes on everywhere. These kids have a lot to figure out. Hopefully no one gets indelibly stained in the process.</p>
<p>P.S. The RA’s put in a call for emergency maintenance service, to help them clean up their room. That is certainly not something that was available when I was in college.</p>
<p>@AsleepAtTheWheel - I’m sorry to hear that your S had such a tough night. Those boys are lucky to have him as a friend! He sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders. It is sad that these events are so commonplace on campuses across the country - and as you said - even on those not known for their drinking culture. I’m glad the school responded well and cleaned the room. On a positive note, there’s nothing like first hand experience to serve as a teaching tool. </p>
<p>@asleepatthewheel Wow, I’m most impressed that you got so many details. You must have a great relationship, and I bet (hope) it was a significant learning event for them all. </p>
<p>We just learned that our S is officially in a relationship – a first for our sort-of socially awkward guy. We met her during orientation and saw it coming. Meanwhile he’s thinking about classes for next term and picking up a minor in biology. There’s a course that involves a trip to Ecuador and the Galapagos next fall and he is figuring out how to make sure he has the prereqs. We are figuring out how we can arrange to go with him!</p>
<p>Asleepathethewheel: Your son is a great kid. His roommate and friends should be so grateful to him.</p>
<p>Crowlady: My older son met his first real girlfriend at a program following an early move-in at his school. They remained together for 15 months.</p>
<p>As for the younger son, we chatted with him for about 20 minutes over the weekend. He was heading out for a run before dinner. He has now met with all the advisers he needed to see before he can register for classes the first week of November. Wanted to take an honors class in the spring, but the two that were required for his degree are at times when he will have track practice. So no honors classes his freshman year. I’m not upset with him about this. I just wish his school offered more for STEM kids. So he’s taking the non-honors version of a required public speaking class and four, math-based classes, which will make him so happy. He keeps rolling along with his math major, and now, he gets to add an intermediate macro class for his economics major. </p>
<p>And in less than three weeks, we get to see him run at his conference championships!</p>
<p>@crowlady Our d is also picking our courses for spring and May term. We’re trying very hard not to laugh at her. She took her programming class first semester because she hates computers and wanted it out of the way. Well . . . turns out not only is she good at it (she expected that), but she really likes it. She’s decided add it as a major. Her school has a Math/CS double major track. Bahahaha. </p>
<p>@ordinarylives - my son was a math major and I asked him to take a cs class to see if he liked it and to potentially add a minor or at least have some experience with it so he could get a job after graduation. He ended up liking cs more than math and switched majors. </p>
<p>My d had a whirlwind trip home for break. Spent one day with us and went and saw her bf at his school. It was parents weekend so she stayed in the hotel with his parents. She’s feeling very conflicted, and told me she was dreading going back but new she’d be fine once she got there. This relationship isn’t defined but both fear an expiration date. He’s in a military school which isn’t exactly friendly to keeping up a long distance relationship. </p>
<p>@ordinarylives That is so awesome! I am friends with several women computer science professors and I do related work myself, so it is great to hear she’s headed that way – need more women in CS. My S was planning to major in bio at some of the schools he applied to, but in the end decided to go for game design and development (he loves programming). His application essays were about combining the two, but I wondered a bit if he was just trying to please his biologist mom and computer science dad. He’s convinced me now. Has been telling us about all the squirrels on campus and shared a photo of a salamander he took the other day.</p>