@crowlady, there was a very good reason she was motivated to get a job: I told her she could have my dad’s car if she could pay for the insurance. Before she left for break, she talked to the woman who runs the dorm post office which happens to be in her dorm. During break, she emailed the woman, and then followed through with a phone interview. And she got her schedule for 10 hours/week a few days ago.
She had been recommended by a couple of people for a tour guide job and she inquired during orientation but I told her they probably wanted someone who had been on campus for more than a week, lol. They sent her an email last week asking her to come in for an interview but she already had the P.O. job so she respectfully declined.
I think the trick may have been just to continue to inquire about a job. She had already given the p.o. manager her schedule when she first inquired before break, but cheerfully emailed it again upon request. When the p.o. manager asked if she would be back early (very early! before the dorms opened!) my daughter suggested a phone interview, which is what she did.
I also remembered what the orientation director who runs the parents’ Facebook page said, to show up a little early after break and make inquiries. That was the plan if this didn’t come through. I guess it’s just like real life–sending a resume just isn’t enough to make a candidate stand out. When a campus employer has an opening, s/he wants to fill it and if there happens to be someone who shows up at that moment, s/he will be considered first.
DS has been back at school, since 12/31 (classes started on 1/5). He increased his work hours to 14 per week, and has taken on the job of stage manager for a black box theater show. He is very busy! But loving the SM work.
He had signed up for Winter Carnival, a weekend long thing at a ski resort that sounded like fun, but has to back out because of the play rehearsal schedule. Still, he doesn’t seem too bummed about it, says he can go next year. He seems to be dealing with getting refunds for the stiff he prepaid and also managing the work/rehearsal conflicts ok.
He spent most of his long break playing a video game that he’d been anticipating, and “got it out of his system” - because he knew he’d be too busy at school to play much. Got together with friends a few times, and we had one hilarious family hike where we got drenched.
He seems to be doing well in his classes, though French is “getting stressful” (he never enjoyed foreign language, but has to take a year in college), but he’s determined to “work through it.” I think he’s being challenged in several ways, and is clearly very happy.
Couldn’t ask for more.
Still no idea whether he’s coming home for the summer or staying there (where jobs are more plentiful and the pay is better, but room and board aren’t free), or what he’ll do for spring break. We’re getting back into our empty nest routine, which is even more empty since my mom, who lived with us, passed away 2 weeks ago. It was nice that she had that nice visit with DS (and he with her) before her sudden demise. Very weird, to go from 4 of us to just 2 so quickly.
Hi folks – I haven’t had time to keep up lately but did read the last few pages of posts.
On regrets, my DS1 is at an Ivy (about to graduate) and my DS2 is at our in-state public in the honors college. He is happy, has friends, and is doing great. No regrets. He did not have the personality/drive for an Ivy. He was offered a job TA’ing the CS class he did very well on first semester, and took it. Because he chose the cheapest choice, he is only responsible for his own spending money, and has a bit already in the bank for that, but is enjoying having money coming in and not feeling so concerned about spending money on non-necessities. I am hoping that being “top of the heap” will help him find some kind of summer job or internship that either includes housing or pays enough for him to afford housing. As much as we’d like to have him home, the job situation here is awful (we’re quite rural), and I feel like he needs to do “something” (other than play video games all day) with his summer. That something doesn’t necessarily have to earn money, but it can’t have much of a net cost either. He’s a mechanical engineering student.
He was sick with a nasty cold with cough, chest congestion and fever over the break that we now believe was actually the flu. All of the kids had it (but neither of us parents). When he had been back at school for a couple of days, he was diagnosed with pneumonia. A few days later they called to say he had also tested positive for flu. However since he didn’t have any symptoms that weren’t clearing up the antibiotics for the pneumonia, we are guessing that the original illness must have been flu, and that he was just still testing positive for that. He’s doing much better now after taking the antibiotics.
I don’t think he loves his classes this semester, so we’ll see how that goes. He does have a projects class that the MEs do together with EEs that he thinks he will like, but it hasn’t really gotten rolling yet.
On regrets. My daughter chose the most expensive option: full pay Ivy. She could have gone to USC, UCLA or UC Berkeley for way less money or even cheaper, to UCSD where she can commute. Do we have regrets? Not yet. But from time to time, me and my wife still talk about the “what ifs”, specially when it was time to pay the tuition fees.
But she’s really doing well at her school. She’s having an experience that’s completely different than if she went to a California school. Just few days ago, she was offered an on-campus job as a “Communication Assistant” doing web design/programming and creating marketing/advertisement materials.
Is anyone else feeling conflicted about their kids’ growth and success? My D just texted to say she thinks she may have found a paid summer internship in Connecticut with basically the leading researcher in her field (entomology/lepidoptera.) Up until now we’ve all assumed she’d be living at home for one last summer, and doing a 1-2 week internship in August.
So I’m SUPER excited for her and super proud of her: this would certainly be an terrific step towards her desired career! But at the same time I am sad because I wasn’t quite prepared for her to be actually, totally gone from our house. I figured I’d prepare for that after this summer. It just seems so sudden… a few months ago she couldn’t even manage her day-to-day expenses and needed help with banking, now I have to think about her living in an apartment by herself in a strange city! Yikes! And I miss her so much…
@staceyneil, that is an awesome opportunity for your D. I hear you about feeling somewhat “robbed” of the summer with her. You will need to focus on the incredible learning she will have. I think those opportunities are difficult to get for freshmen.
S1 will graduate from an expensive private this spring. We invested a lot in his education and had anxiety from time to time over it but in the end are very pleased. He has already been hired by a top tier aerospace company as a systems engineer in an amazing city with high starting salary.
S2 is attending a top tier public with excellent merit scholarships so we are investing far less in his education. S1 has some debt that he will easily pay back due to his salary. S2 will not borrow at all.
On balance both boys are getting the opportunity that is right for each of them.
@staceyneil I have sort of the opposite concern. I was like your daughter – spent my first summer in a cool research internship somewhere else. And the other summers I spent working research jobs on campus. I’m worried my son will ‘waste’ his summer. He is finding it as hard to find and apply for good jobs as he did applying to college. I would love for him to be home but would want him to get a job related to his major – he might otherwise just play computer games all day. I hate to add more pressure to his life but he is not being proactive at all…
I know I called what iffing wasted energy (and it is), but if my oldest had gone in knowing her major, we’d definitely have considered other schools. The one she’s at (my employer, no less) prepares grads in her field for the local healthcare community. They do nothing to push their grads out into the world at large. Since my oldest finds herself single and wanting to fly the coop, she would really like to look at jobs in larger markets, but alas, she’s going to have to fight being an unknown quantity for those positions.
At least with d’14’s school, they were very upfront about where they’re placed their math grads for internships, grad schools, and jobs.
@RenaissanceMom You’re exactly right. He’s definitely being pushed outside of his comfort zone and he’s not thrilled about it. What’s funny is, one of his college application essays was about how he wanted to be pushed outside of his comfort zone!
Hopefully he’ll enjoy it. Doesn’t have any of the adult storm concerns: food shopping, shoveling, driving, losing power. He’ll got to the cafeteria, the schools have generators, he’s on foot. My sons’ schools have already cancelled classes for tomorrow. They’ll probably all sleep late and then go play in the snow.
DD’s school was giving out survival kits - water, bread, peanut butter, apple etc. And there’s a snowball fight event posted on Facebook. She’s sure to have fun and will be happy hanging with her dorm mates. And they’re close to the dining hall that will be open tomorrow.
@crowlady, I’m with you on worrying that my DS will waste the summer. I’ve been pushing him to start working on a resume, but so far I don’t think anything has happened on that front.
We’ve missed school the past two days, because of snow (it’s rural, and we have a tough time clearing the snow and ice). At least I’m getting things done inside my home!
Son sent a text last night that he landed a tutoring job. The pay is good, and he does have time this semester to earn some money since he has just 12 hours. Hopefully he won’t stretch himself too much, as he also is running track. I, too, am concerned that he will not have enough to do when he returns for the summer. He does plan to referee youth soccer, which pays well. So I told my husband that I’ll come up with a list of things that our son can do – paint the fence, lawn mowing, cleaning up the yard, etc. – and we can pay him for his efforts. He has been trying to land an internship, but has not been successful. Oh well. Maybe next summer.