@singermom4 I can’t add to the good advice you have already received. Just sending hugs.
Thanks @wrights1994 and @VMT for the support. I did end up sending a note to his Calc teacher to get his sense of where S will end up with the grade. The admission rep did say they didn’t only look at the grade for the final decision so I am holding out hope that even with the worst case scenario grade, there will be enough other factors. I will be talking with the second choice private university today too see where they stand but it’s significantly more money. His 3rd choice is the one he had called earlier in the semester (was a top choice back then) and they preferred seeing him in the more rigorous class regardless of grade. It looks like the state schools use broader criteria and are less holistic.
Despite his admissions to many good scholars and with scholarships, H has been a negative force saying S won’t get in or stay in (the latter so not likely as S loves to learn but not always the most focused to get the best grades - still he had an A minus average, high ACT, good ECs, multiple scholarships) - his prophecy seems to be coming true unbelievably and I am wincing at what his reaction would be to this situation (have not told him yet).
@singermom4, I’m sorry that you and your S are dealing with this sort of stress when you should be celebrating. I don’t understand teachers who grade down to the point even though their kids are getting 5s on AP exams, their college acceptances are being put in jeopardy. From what you are writing though, it really sounds like it is going to be ok. Good luck with all of it and stay calm as best you can.
I have confidence that these little academic hiccups will work themselves out. What concerns me these days is that I will get a call from my college sophomore about a “Warren Zevon situation” during his study abroad next fall. What’s that, you ask? Well, let me have the Excitable Boy explain himself.
[Warren Zevon – “Lawyers, Guns, and Money”](- YouTube)
Holy Toledo, People! I’m here on the Lido deck, sending out an SOS!
DS is down to 2 schools, both great, both giving as much $$ as he’s going to get, but he has not made a final decision. He’s definitely leaning in one direction, and I’m happy for him whatever he decides, but I do think there’s an element of “not wanting to be far from home” involved. That’s perfectly OK, and the school he’s leaning toward has offered him some great things…but I still hope it’s truly the right choice for him.
He was recently undecided between 3 schools until something odd happened - and @Barfly related a story up-thread that makes me want to chime in w/mine. Please tell me if you think this is strange:
University X was one of DS’s 3 top-choice schools until last week. Excellent reputation, high rankings on various scales, and less than 4 hours from home (so it made the cut). It took some back/forth for the school to award him a NMS package, but we got that worked out. DS has been very impressed w/the students at this school, but the (relatively new) admissions rep is horrible. I could give various examples, but we finally encountered The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back. DS emailed his rep 2 weeks ago asking for a final visit, indicating that this school was one of his top 3, and asking (politely) to sit in on a Business/Marketing class and meet w/a professor who teaches in that area. He asked for a few other meetings, but explained that sitting in on a business class and meeting a professor was a priority for him. Got an email back from the rep saying he could not guarantee sitting in on a class or meeting a professor…??? DS didn’t ask for a specific class or professor…just “Business” and hopefully “Marketing.” So DS (at my “urging”) emailed back to say that he would probably not make another trip unless he could sit in on a class in his intended field of study and meet with a professor, to which the rep responded that he could call the Friday before to see what had been arranged.
So along comes last Thursday and I call in the afternoon, because there’s a hotel reservation involved and DH has to take off work. Left a message for the rep, no call back. I called late-day Friday (DS was still in school) and the rep told me that nothing had been confirmed yet, but there was a “good chance” DS could at least sit in on a class if he visited. The rep had no idea if a professor would be able to meet w/DS or not, but he didn’t sound optimistic. I was pretty shocked, as this has not been our experience at other schools - at all. So when DS got home Friday night, he emailed the rep and canceled the visit. He explained why. No word back from the rep at all. School is off the list, but I’m tempted to email the head of admissions myself, just to let her know what I thought of the situation. I’m not going to do it, and DS was relieved just to check a school off his list, but I actually think it could have been a good fit for him. Without getting a feel for the Business School, he couldn’t make that decision, and I just don’t “get” the way this was handled. It has not been like this for DS elsewhere.
On the other hand, University Y has been absolutely fantastic and the admissions rep has gone above/beyond for DS. University Y is the one I think DS might actually be best suited for, but he has concerns about distance from home, along w/a few other things.
And University Z has great options for him, honors program rep has been very involved w/helping him, so he will be fine if he goes with Z.
Congratulations to all those who have moved from “passenger” to “crew” …and where the heck is my fruity drink?!
Still needing fruity drinks here too. Down to three great options, two (I think) still in the running.
@GoAskDad - it could be that he has a bad admissions rep. As other people are telling me 
he won’t be dealing with admissions after this stage. Still, I understand how important sitting in a class and meeting with a professor can be.
I have decided to get myself out the dumps today by doing some ‘cake tasting’ for S’ grad party
@singermom4, sending hugs your way.
@GoAskDad, we had a similar situation with a school we thought was going to be a great fit and the Admissions rep and the tour guide were both nightmares. It took 1 tour and 3 conversations with the admissions person for the school to be permanently nixed. Another school got nixed because the admissions dept was flat out refusing to be helpful when S wanted to meet a professor and attend a class.
Is it too late to move to crew duites. We finally got all of our questions answered by the right people and S has made a decision. He will be a member of the Olin College of Engineering Class of 2020. He got waitlisted for this year, so unless a miracle happens (just as soon as I learn to walk on water), they guarantee him a spot in next year’s class. Its a really nice set up. So we are looking for things for an engineering nerd to do during his gap year. I wonder if he can help me research colleges for D16. Of course, our fingers are crossed that they pull him from the waitlist. They have pulled anywhere from 0 to 8 in recent years. But either way he’s at his dream school.
This weekend, Friday night relaxation yoga will be replaced with Midnight Celebration Yoga on the Lido deck. By then we should all be ready to celebrate. Finger foods, fruity drinks and flower leis for all!
@MuggleMom, congratulations on Olin 2020! It’s such a unique and amazing place.
@GoAskDad - if you are ok with crossing college X off the list, then I would let it go. But if you are still thinking it could be a good fit, I’d recommend bypassing the bad rep, looking at the course schedule, and having your son email a prof and ask if he can sit in on a particular class. That’s what most colleges recommended my D do when we visited, and it always worked out. (It’s good to have a backup option in case the prof says no. Sometimes there is a test that day and it wouldn’t make sense to audit a class then).
Agree. I wouldn’t let a bad ad rep get in the way. Unless it’s just one more strike against that school.
http://■■■■■■■■■■/#decisiontime_afsgz A little over 2 1/2 days to go! The end is in sight…
Those are good suggestions everyone - thanks. The thing is that this latest episode was one in a series of episodes (most tied to the admissions rep, but not all) that was enough for DS to decide this school would not work for him - though we were all sorry to see it go. He has only visited once - which was a visit we had to put together ourselves because the rep was completely unhelpful - but he would have needed to visit again, and get a feel for the Business School, in order to make an informed decision. And he does have to make a decision by Thursday for his National Merit scholarship to kick in, so it was either visit yesterday or not at all.
In the end, I think the school would have still been 3rd on the list regardless, so DS probably would have gone another direction. But it’s baffling to me that a school would not work to ensure an admitted student got to sit in on a class and meet a professor. I mean, that’s kind of the whole point of attending the school, IMO. But it’s fine and, in the end, it enabled DS to make a choice without tremendous angst.
@MamaBear16, I’ll remember that advice about contacting the professor directly for when my younger kids go through this. That’s actually great advice and I wish that would have occurred to me!
Daughter picked up her cap and gown today. This is for real, you guys. It’s happening.
Yes - the first kid is the experiment! I had no idea that admissions could be offered for a later semester or year! That could have changed some of our choices for application. I’m off to eat cake - yum yum! http://www.lanasdesserts.com/
And many thanks to everyone for talking me off the ledge - I’m in a much better place now!
@goaskdad - For some of the schools we visited, admissions asked us to arrange the meetings with professors and class visits. I found phone numbers of the department offices and was always successful. It was nice to be in charge of our schedule because I knew which appointments were more important if there was a conflict. Your son has two good choices. I look forward to hearing he has made a decision. You will be relieved.
I am going to post here, because I just want to express a feeling, and can’t figure out where else to do it.
I am feeling so down today. 
I am really starting the feel the end of an era, with D graduating, and that’s part of it. She is bringing friends home to study in a few minutes, and I am trying to hold it together…I’ve just been teary on and off all day. This is her last week of classes. I am excited about that…but… And I am still just feeling awful about what ended up being her limited choices in colleges…I feel guilty for leading her down that road, and for not somehow understanding that the finances wouldn’t work out, and for not being comfortable with stretching the budget to make it work…and for being glad that it does mean she will be closer to home. I think with the decision deadline looming, I am panicking, and just SO hoping it turns out to be the right decision.
Along with that, the last couple weeks my mom’s health seems to be going downhill. She is in a great nursing facility, and she’s been doing fine for a long time, but then there has been this sort of cascade of problems. I am going in for a meeting with the staff there tomorrow. I know it’s not going to be good news. I don’t know how bad the situation will end up being, but it has already very much changed her quality of life, and that is not likely to improve…feels like another ending.
Some days just feel very heavy. Thank you for letting me have a place to set it down for a minute.
Set it down here anytime, I totally get what you’re feeling.
@shoboemom You have a lot on your plate. It’s good to come here and vent. I have been in crisis mode with my mom the last few weeks - I know how you feel.
@shoboemom I can understand how sad you are about your D getting finished with high school, but look at it this way - be glad that you have a good relationship with her and will miss her presence. You are truly blessed to have that kind of connection. My parents are sad too about me going - my dad cried a bit when we got back from our visit to WSU - he knew that I was going to go there. I’m also sorry about your mom - I lost my grandparents 2 years ago, and the helpless feeling is the worst of it.
Don’t feel guilty about the college she is going to. Going to college at all is an opportunity and a gift. For her to be able to go with your help and guidance without incurring debt is a lot to be thankful for. No one can predict the future and know what is best for everything. If you have a lemon, make lemonade. And in the immortal words of Forrest Gump “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’ll get.”
And don’t feel bad for liking her being close to home. That’s a good thing, and it gives a lot benefits than it does drawbacks in case one of those “what if” situations come up (which I hope do not!)
@shoboemom: I don’t know what to tell you other than to predict that by October your D is going to be happily ensconced at college and won’t be able to imagine being anywhere else. And setting stuff down for a minute is why we’re here – a sentiment you can reinforce with either of the following links.
[Randy Newman – “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”](- YouTube)
[10,000 Maniacs – “Trouble Me”](10,000 Maniacs- Trouble Me (1989) - YouTube)