It’s been a while since I posted. It has been a month of highs and lows, and I look forward to getting caught up on what has been going on here!
I’ve spent most of the past month with my mother, who passed away just over a week ago. She passed away on Friday, and graduation was on Monday. The timing was so interesting…for several reasons, but with graduation…D was originally scheduled to graduate that Friday, but the date was moved. I thought graduation and the celebrations that went with it would be so difficult, but it really has been a blessing to have that to focus on for a while. Now comes the harder part…just living with it. I’d been trying to prepare myself for the ‘loss’ of D going off to college, but this I wasn’t planning for. Mom had been closely following the college search, and even correctly predicted which college would be the choice. Maybe that means Mom knows where to go to watch over her.
Graduation was this past Monday, and though a bit chaotic at the start (lots of traffic and seating issues), it was a great and exciting event! D was thrilled to be decked out with all her stoles and chords…a major goal of her high school career! lol. I just keep being struck by the fact that she is DONE with high school! No more of that! Now the world is full of options!
The end of this week we head to college orientation. I am excited and nervous about it. As many of you remember, the college was not her first (or 2nd,3rd…) choice, but was the better financial choice, where she felt she could probably be happy. So each time we do something with the school, I am so hopeful that it will be a positive impression, and that she will be more confident that it will be a good place for her!
Awwww, so very very sorry @shoboemom. Prayers and best wishes for a smooth transition for you as you navigate this new chapter. So glad the events kept your mind occupied. Hugs.
@shoboemom, {{HUGS}} - I’m still not over the loss of my mom, and she passed before any of my kids were born. Sometimes I think it is unfair that they had some time with their great-grandmother on my spouse’s side, and my mom didn’t even get to see my kids…
I know it isn’t the same situation, but some people have found Sheryl Sandberg’s thoughts on grieving a worthwhile read (easy to find on FB, not sure if I can post the link)…
In our school, the val and sal are given a topic, but the kids are pretty good at making their speeches their own. The topics are often “where do you see your classmates in the future” and things of that type. The speeches that use humor are always more interesting than the purely inspirational ones. One thing that audiences like are memories of their classmates, stories of crazy things that happened in certain classes, talking about famous quirks of certain teachers. One student went around to every student (about 150) and asked them to give her a word, without telling them why. Her speech included each of those 150 words, and some of them were really obscure! That was great fun. One val did most of his speech as a rap. I’d say if they make it their own, with whatever is close to their hearts, people will enjoy it. And it never hurts to throw in the line that says “What do I know about how to succeed in the future? I’m only 18!”
I hope that all goes well with your daughter as she moves forward. It’s such a mixed up time as it is, I am sure the loss of your mom makes it that much more complicated.
We’ve had an array of awards events, she’s graduating with honors and won a small scholarship from the local orchestra/chorale. Graduation is next Tuesday. Her college told her to start checking her email in June because they’ll be sending info to her, but she hasn’t done it yet. A week after she graduates, she goes to orientation. She has been cleaning her room and got rid of two huge bags of clothes!
Our school does not in any way recognize Val and Sal, but DS found out after graduation that he did graduate as valedictorian out of about 800 grads! He’s a happy camper, but I wish the ISD would at least put it in the paper. Since no one will ever know, I’m announcing it publicly ( though anonymously) here! At least now I get to see it in writing in some format!
Oh my goodness…I am reading through the posts about ‘lasts’, saved blue tape, lines from favorite books… :x :((
sigh…the end of a part of our lives.
Also looking at the posts about how far everyone’s kids will be from home. I am definitely counting my blessings that D will “only” be 2 hours away…still so much further than the next room. :-S
Thank you all for your kind comments. I have missed you guys.
@rhandco, Thank you…My H’s parents arrived for graduation the same day that my mom passed. It was very hard for me to deal with the fact that both of his parents could be there (and have been at many grandkids’ graduations), but neither of my parents lived to see their only grandchild’s. Happy for D that they could be there for her…but it was very hard. =(( They would have been so proud and thrilled. Graduation and college was not a given in their world as it was for my H’s family.
These endings bring up so many feelings, and I am seeing parallels and getting my emotions mixed up. I was feeling so much like I didn’t do enough for my mom, though I did quite a bit…and I feel that as a parent…wishing I’d been better in this way or that way, little things really, but things I often thought I’d get around to…
@shoboemom: Oh, I’m so sorry. I figured you were just busy with grad stuff,but losing your mom is very tough. At least for your D she had her other set of grandparents there, but that doesn’t help with your feelings about your own parents.
My dad died in '94. He saw one granddaughter, who was 1 at the time he passed. When my DS was born my uncle, dad’s brother, said how much my dad would have loved to have a grandson. It made me sad that he didn’t live for that. I’m sure that my parents would have been much better grandparents had he been around to make arrangements for visits, than my mother has been as an unattached grandmother. The circle of life, I guess.
D also went to the college that is financially the best choice. She is in SS there due to the program starting the summer before freshman year. It is very quiet over the summer (except for all the orientation sessions) and she is used to being super busy plus she doesn’t have the flexibility of having a vehicle. Trying to keep her looking forward to fall, then she’ll be so busy joining clubs, etc, she won’t know what to think.
@shoboemom, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the mixture of high and low. Big hugs to you. I hope that the college orientation leaves you both so happy that you can’t imagine why it wasn’t her first choice right from the start.
@scholarme and @twinsmom15, congratulations to your children on val/sal/sal! Those are huge honors.
LOL @scholarme. That would likely get a lot of applause! The most well received moments of the speech at D’s graduation were when they referenced other students who were well known/well liked for something.
