As a female who is male online at least 95% of the time, I think being gay is more infrequent than being female in real and being online as male. At least if you play video games or frequent sports forums. Because honestly, if you use a user name that is clearly female, often there is a LOT of unwanted attention. Better to use a neutral or male user name and it not be an issue.
And even as a mom, if you are a mom and talk about your kid playing sports, it skews so different from a dad talking about your kid playing sports. Because “moms know nothing about sports”, right?
I remember when I was in college, there were posters plastered around our dorms touting numbers like 30% of all college students are gay. And that was in the 1980s. Among my friends and colleagues, the number of people who are out and gay and not as out (but I know) and gay is around 10%. Likely some of the mothers posting here are gay, by sheer numbers, but like I don’t feel the need to say I am straight in general circumstances, there is no need to identify as gay in most circumstances.
I am fine saying partner or spouse, but yes it is more difficult when dating as people say “gf” or “bf”. Also I find the obsession with “are you gay or straight?” makes people who are bi or asexual feel awkward.
I do find it strange that a youngster of either gender would go on a parents’ board, but I don’t think there is a rule against it. And I hope if a youngster sees a Parent Cafe thread that they can relate to, they can chime in.
Moved S in yesterday. It was a wonderfully, smooth experience considering how far away from the university we are. Last week, we went out of state for a funeral so the days before move-in were hectic. H and I took our son and his roommate out to lunch and afterwards left him to begin his new journey. All in all, I am very surprised how well everything turned out.
^ Whatever, that wasn’t what I was getting at with the gay stuff. All I was saying was that I was trying to describe guys that I was interested in as girls so that I wouldn’t seem gay since I was trying to give the impression I was a guy.
@LadyArwyn, I never looked at it from your perspective. But you just may be right. Wrestler was involved with the sport from the age of 7. He played some baseball, basketball, and football. But those activities stopped when everyone grew more than he did.
@crepes, i feel for you. These kids put so much into these activities and to stop so abruptly really stings. It is mourning a loss in a sense. As wrestling parents, my husband and I feel like we have now lost part of the “wrestling family”. As a sport, the wrestling community is very close knit. And I almost feel as if wrestler asked for a divorce.
But in the end, I know it is not about us. It is about him. He has to be happy. When I asked what happened, he told me that he chose the right school, but the wrong wrestling program.
@Wrestlersmom better the right school and wrong wrestling program than vice versa IMO.
I have also experienced the “loss” when a kid moves on from something they have been so passionate about for many years. D13 seems very happy with her decision and S15 is likely to drop music after this year too, but I still feel some regret even though I know it is totally up to them. I am happy that it least it has been (will be for S15) that they got interested in other (equally good) things. I guess it’s part of the change/growth thing we all want the college experience to be for our kids but ( at least for me) don’t really consider that we won’t necessarily fully agree with all of it.
We’ve had a pretty wild ride over the past ten days. My mom, who had been suffering with vascular dementia for three years, took a turn for the worse. I took D15 up to the nursing home two Sundays ago so that she could say goodbye to her. Mom died on the morning that D15 was scheduled to leave. Per our previous discussions on this matter with her, we decided that it would be best that she go to school and start classes as that’s what my mom would have wanted her to do. Dh and D09 drove her to school while I stayed here to make the funeral arrangements. The day after Mom died, my father was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. It doesn’t look as if he has much longer to go, so I’m in the process of having him transferred from the nursing home to a long-term acute care facility/hospice where he’ll be kept comfortable and be allowed to pass with dignity. The medical director of the nursing home and I had a pitched battle on the day of my mother’s wake because he was insisting that I allow him to order an advanced directive that was in direct conflict with my dad’s (and my) religious beliefs. I had a discussion with the new facility and we’re on the same page regarding his treatment, so that’s a relief.
Anyway, D15 is doing very well. She calls me every night at 3 a.m.(!) to discuss her day. Likes her classes, hates her boss at her work-study but likes the work, and is making friends. Everyone seems to hang out in the common room until all hours. Her birthday was on Thursday and I kept hearing knocks on the door while she was on the phone with me as people dropped by to bring her cake and wish her well. They also took her out to dinner later that day.
@tranquil218… wow. So sorry for the loss of your mom and for all you are dealing with in regards to your dad. I bet you feel like you are walking around in a fog. Glad your D is doing well though! Good that you had talked about a plan in advance, sounds like it made the decision to send her on her way easier.
@tranquil218 I’m sorry to hear about your Mom and Dad. I’m glad that your D is doing well and went to school just as your Mom would have wanted. Wishing you strength and comfort.
@tranquil218 - I am so sorry for your loss and for your father’s illness. I’m sure the timing made things even harder, and I’m glad that your D is doing well and enjoying college.
You’ve obviously got a taste for corn-fed Midwestern farm boy types!! >:D<