<p>You aren’t the only one, IJD. I’m concerned too because there is grade deflation at D’s school as well, and she is loaded with lots of hard classes, two of which are reputed to be 2 of the 3 hardest classes at the school. She is definitely keeping an eye on her grades this year much more than previously, though, without my prompting and so that’s a good thing. I’ve just decided that whatever happens - grades, rank, standardized tests - the chips will fall where they may and I think she will be just fine wherever she ends up. I imagine the same is true for your D.</p>
<p>My older girls went to a high school that practiced significant grade deflation and we worried about it. When my eldest D entered her senior year of high school, there were only 7 students carrying an A average out of roughly 150. It turned out not to be an issue at all because the school was well known by most of the colleges, well, at least most of the east coast and many of the midwest ones, and the colleges took into account the difficulty of the curriculum and the context for the grading. The standardized test scores also helped to put the grades into context.</p>
<p>Ironically, we are now dealing with the opposite problem and it’s one I never really gave much thought to. Youngest D goes to a grade-inflated school where A’s are given out liberally. In contrast to the first school, the top 20% carry gpas of 4.0 or above. That’s kind of crazy. There’s no distinction between the kid who stands out and the kid who gets the A simply because it’s easy to get an A. In the grade-deflated school, an A really meant something.</p>
<p>IJD – I’m feeling a lot of kinship with you! I, too, worry about my D2 who spends tons of time on an EC where she doesn’t stand out at all. Oh well, she’s doing it because she loves it, not for the sake of college apps. And, like you, I’m holding my breath over grades in tough junior year classes. I’m reluctant to even intrude on D’s weekends (for college visits, etc.) because she really needs that time to rest. She seems to be swimming as hard as she can and just barely keeping her head above the water.</p>
<p>So my daughter had a driving lesson today where it was determined by the instructor that she is ready to take her road test !!!??? I do not feel that she has enough experience yet, so my job now is to make sure she drives as much as possible. She does not need any more lessons- just some more time in the car with me. Ugh. I am not ready for this. </p>
<p>My daughter asked me two times when class rank is officially determined. I don’t know… Is it determined in the fall when apps go out ? </p>
<p>I don’t think we have grade inflation or deflation- things seem to be fair. All I know is that the kids taking these top classes all work very hard. </p>
<p>My kid has 3 very significant ECs- are they significant enough? No clue.</p>
<p>My D’s school is grade inflated. I worry about college - how she deals with the pressure once she gets in a good college, if she can get it. That’s what we’ve been working on. Getting by in her high school is not too difficult. (straight As is still kind of hard.) We work hard so she will have confidence going into college. Foreign language is one of our major concerns, since she wants to do international relations. </p>
<p>What are your kids’ ECs?</p>
<p>I worry very much about pressure in college. I have a very very driven, perfectionist kid who is used to doing very well and being at the very top. I do not want her to attend a highly competitive school where she will feel the same way- everybody will be smart and the kid will always be studying. She needs to attend a school where there is some balance. The problem that I am having ( at least today) is that she wants to go to a school where everyone is like her, as opposed to a school where there is a mix of kids and maybe she is in an honors program. She can’t go to a school where everyone is like her because it’s way too intense. I shake just picturing it. We are working on that. This summer she worked at a camp and had to get two letters of rec from her teachers. Both teachers used the words " perfectionist" and " driven."</p>
<p>She won’t do group work unless she can cherry pick the one or two kids that she feels will work like her. If she is in a group with others she takes over and does everything. </p>
<p>We have quite a few less competitive yet still good schools on the list. I hesitate to put an Ivy due to her personality ( I realize getting in is nearly impossible).
She has many typical ECs such as varsity sports ( huge time commitment but no competitions etc), national and subject honor societies, peer tutoring ( won school awards for most hours as a peer tutor and most dedication LOL), foreign language clubs etc. she also won an award ( school award) her freshman year for science research that she did and presented at the Science Honor Society. She also holds an officer position on student council- very time consuming as well. She has two more positions that although are not big like some kids we see on CC, they are time consuming and big for her: yearbook assistant editor ( senior year she is editor- the yearbook is hers completely ) and President of the local youth chapter of a national organization ( does a lot of fundraising etc). The yearbook is very time consuming as she attends yearbook conventions at various colleges in NYC etc. she spends hours working on the yearbook. We have kids in our school who have been on Broadway, who have played in Carnegie Hall, and who are training for the Olympics. My kid has written yearbook articles about them. These kids have Ivy League ECs ( but they are not applying). </p>
<p>So there you have it. I can’t place her in a super competitive school where every kid is like her because it won’t be healthy. Looking for schools where there will be kids like her as well as other types of kids in the mix. She needs some balance.</p>
<p>Forgot to mention that she will be taking a writing class next semester where kids have the opportunity to get there work published in non school related magazines etc. I wanted her to take a science research class this year but she was not interested and I did not push. The class meets at 6:30 am and the kids take part in research and many get their work published in science journals. Although it’s nice I did not push- she has enough going on. </p>
<p>Next stop: SAT and ACT. Ugh.</p>
<p>Last year I had my daughter at the therapist learning how to deal with her perfectionist personality, learning relaxation etc. The therapist’s daughter plays the violin in high school and hated it- planned to give it up in college. Anyway the daughter was applying to schools last year and the therapist told me that one of the schools ( not sure which) offered her an additional $10,000 each year if she would agree to play in college. Too bad she hated the violin. Ouch.</p>
<p>Oops their… Not there. It’s early.</p>
<p>twogirls, class rank is determined according to each school’s policies I think. At D’s school, they give them ranks after each semester. So for the apps next fall, it will be based on grades through Junior year. For val/sal, it is based on rank after the first semester of Senior year.</p>
<p>Last year, when the subject of colleges first came up, D liked what she read about UChicago because of their serious, intellectual student reputation. But now she has changed that tune. She still wants to be around others who want to have intelligent/academic minded conversation, but she doesn’t want to be surrounded by uber driven, competitive students. She says she now wants to be a ‘science hippie’ where people don’t care what you are wearing, and students just hang out and talk about what they are learning in school, what’s going on in the world, etc…She says I can just go ahead and buy her the ugly hippie sandals now. lol </p>
<p>In her current circles, all the kids seem to be a lot like you describe twogirls…although not with so impressive a list of EC’s. D hates group work, unless it can be with certain people…but I think a lot of that is that they all want to be in charge. Not long ago I had a group of them in the car with me and I was surprised at how argumentative they were with each other. Everyone needed to be right. That would get exhausting!</p>
<p>On the EC’s, of course there are stand out kids everywhere, but I suspect that location plays a big role in the type of EC’s that seem typical. I am floored by some of the EC’s I see here on CC. There are kids here that have done things that most kids in our area probably never knew existed, and would not likely have the resources for. Even hearing about some amazing EC possibilities, to those of us not in an environment where they are commonplace, they don’t seem like something that is necessary or even realistic.</p>
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<p>You do realize you’ve described MIT, right? :)</p>
<p>Shoboemom and twogirls, the pressure in college is not as clear cut as you might think. If your girls are aiming for pre-med then it almost doesn’t matter where they go to school because the kids in those programs are going to be especially driven. Engineering is a pretty uniform curriculum that’s very demanding at any school and the major may make the school feel like a competitive, driven place–but not necessarily. In other majors, particularly humanities majors, there’s a lot of variability, with schools you wouldn’t expect nourishing an overly (unnecessarily) competitive feel and those you would being a lot more “chill.” My eldest had a lot of friends at an HYPS school who absolutely loved it. It was not a place that felt competitive to them–granted these were not premed kids and they tended toward majors in English and History. The grade pressure was nil because there was such rampant grade inflation. My friend recently told me that freshman English seminars at that school are divided into upper and lower levels by a score of 700 on the SAT I (CR?) or subject test. Now those are great scores but this is an HYPS school where the myth is that everyone is coming in with perfect scores. My sense is that the institutional priorities are so varied that while there are many very smart kids attending there are also very many not dazzlingly bright kids who bring other skills to the school. </p>
<p>I guess all I’m saying is not to assume anything!</p>
<p>Slackermom, LOL! That’s exactly the sort of example I was looking for.</p>
<p>Our school re-ranks after grades are finalized every quarter. The 2015 kids realized this last year so they go down to Guidance and ask for a print out of their transcripts so they can see their rank every quarter. It will be final for Val/Sal after 1st semester Senior year.</p>
<p>In our school, most kids play at least 1 sport. The others do music/theatre. That’s pretty much it at our school. We have our clubs and honor societies but for big chunks of time, it’s sports/music/theatre complete with parent booster clubs and social lives revolving around those activities. Many kids start to drop from the sports/music/theatre areas once they turn 16/17 and can get jobs. The school is trying to get academic competition teams going but it’s nothing to write home about. At the Junior High level they tell the kids they have to choose between academic teams and sports and that never bodes well for the academic teams.</p>
<p>Slacker, She has an MIT tshirt from back in Jr high…always dreamed of MIT, but it does seem pretty intense…not to mention very difficult to get into, especially when your gpa and scores will likely reflect this new ‘less intense’ approach to school. 
She still has Wellesley on her list. They are strong in science, and have a partnership of sorts with MIT. ;-)</p>
<p>3girls, I think you have a good point. Much will depend on the major. My D currently wants to go into the sciences (neuro) but NOT into medicine. She’s thinking more of pure research, but I think that will typically put her in the same classes as the pre med students.</p>
<p>My kid is going into the sciences and wants to be a pediatrician… Today. Tomorrow she may decide to go back to genetic counseling. She is driven and just needs a school with a " vibe" that is good for her… That’s where the college visits help. </p>
<p>She knows her decile and even where she is approximately within the decile ( the decile is on the transcript). I guess she wants an exact number but we won’t go there…</p>
<p>3girls you are right- thanks for the info.</p>
<p>I am feeling defeated…ok maybe that’s too strong a word, but at least frustrated.
I am looking more into the cost of college (need I say more?) lol</p>
<p>I started yet another thread asking about using merit aid with need aid, and I think I am going to have to come to terms with the fact that colleges that D might like, outside of our state schools, are going to be very expensive for us. Our EFC is one that we could maybe do, but it would not be easy. And this year I am just noticing more things that will be added expenses…things we (and D) have become accustomed to just doing, without a lot of thought as to the expense. (There should be more thought there…but…)
Then we are warned here on CC not to pay too much for undergrad if grad school is likely, which, in the sciences, it is.
We do get mixed and conflicting info on CC and elsewhere. I think I had convinced myself that if D got merit aid, that would help on top of need based aid, but what I am learning …or maybe finally grasping, is that merit aid won’t get added to need based aid, so that EFC is pretty much it, unless the merit aid is HUGE…like full ride.</p>
<p>Now trying to decide if we should really look at these other schools at all…</p>
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<p>How are kids from iHop zip codes supposed to compete with those who were born with silver spoons amidst loaded buffets? Colleges say they consider applicants in their local context, compared to what is available in their high school and in their community. I wonder whether that is really true.</p>