<p>twogirls, that is wonderful that the kids get paid for being a peer tutor! I think they should. At D’s school, ‘volunteering’ to tutor a certain number of hours after school is a requirement of NHS.</p>
<p>I managed to get S to do a practice PSAT by promising him if he got NMSF and went to our state school I’d give him half the money we’d save. </p>
<p>He hasn’t done any ACT/SAT prep at home, but did a summer prep class at his high school that was $20. Made a big difference in the practice ACT scores, but not much in SAT. Hoping to get him to do some prep again a few weeks before actual test since that is a big time lag. Some kids are smart enough to do great with no prep, but not my kids.</p>
<p>Money…So is anyone working on making sure your money, or your kid’s money is properly moved/arranged for the start of the coming year?</p>
<p>Since starting Jan will be the tax return that FAFSA will look at, I keep thinking there is something we should do before the end of the year. </p>
<p>We are looking at how to spend money…like D had some money in her account, so when we recently bought a car (with her driving in mind and a car she may take to college) we used that money 1st so it won’t be sitting there to be assessed at a high rate for college. She also has some stock that Grandparents have sent her over the years as birthday gifts. No huge amounts, but still…I guess we should get her to cash that in and use it. A cousin had the same thing (same grandparent ) and cashed theirs in for SAT prep classes.</p>
<p>Any 'getting finances ready" thoughts or advice?</p>
<p>My D15 is not typical ( at least I don’t think so- she is very different than her sister who I consider to be more mainstream). She is a perfectionist and is very very self motivated- I don’t get involved in her schoolwork. Over the years she has received emails from teachers asking her to stop studying and please go get a manicure. She is currently in the top 1% and it all comes from her- I put zero pressure on her. Last year she was in therapy to learn how to relax a little and take breaks. It seems to be working thank goodness but she still works every night for 7 hours straight after school and 10+ hours each day on the weekend. She is very driven and intense- it’s who she is. My kid is not an athlete yet she worked like a dog this summer to make varsity- and she did, despite the odds that were not in her favor. These days she is very very happy- thank goodness. She is not one to hang out with friends or walk the mall- hates it. She enjoys discussing literature with one or two friends over dinner- again it’s who she is. That is NOT her sister, which is fine. She has worked hard for her GPA and may be #1 (rumored- but we do not discuss this at all). She tends to do well on standardized tests that she has taken so far. </p>
<p>She has a math and English tutor for the SAT and ACT. I did the same for her sister. I do not get involved. She gets tutored during the week ( 2 hours) and does all of her SAT/ACT work on the weekend. It takes about 4 (?) hours because she is prepping for both tests. On a typical Saturday she may get an SAT math, an SAT CR, and an ACT essay. It changes every week. The English tutor gives her ACT and SAT work to do, while the math tutor focuses on SAT. He says she does not need an ACT tutor- she just needs to do some practice tests. I suggested to her that when she has some time she should do a math ACT. She said ok, but she will let me know when ( she did one over the summer and one a few weeks ago). I said that was fine and I won’t ask again. I know that she will do it at least once before the December 14 test. </p>
<p>She has two safeties picked out that she will attend and are affordable. She is not really going for the Ivy because I am scared that she will never leave the library. She would love to attend Cornell but I know kids there and I feel the school is way too intense for a kid who is already way too intense. We are looking at schools and will pick the schools that are a right fit for her and may give her some merit money as well. Right now she wants a " rah rah" school.</p>
<p>Does she get stressed? Yes and no. She is fine as long as she has the time to get her work done. She gets stressed when she gets home late and has a bunch of tests to study for. Does she get stressed about the prep work for the SAT/ACT? Again it depends on how much homework she has. Last Sat night she babysat and got it all done after the girl went to sleep. Yesterday she did 5 hours of SAT work but set her alarm for 6 am to get it done. She never sleeps past 7 am on a weekend day. When she has a meltdown it kind of explodes and within a few minutes she is ok and singing again. Like a release.</p>
<p>My kid is not looking for a certain score- I would never put her in that situation because that would cause too much stress. I simply tell her to do the best she can. After the scores come back in February ( after taking each test twice) we will make a list of schools where I feel she can get money, and maybe she will throw in 2 " lottery" type schools for merit , and call it a day. She says she refuses to take these tests past February and I will respect that, although she talks about taking the physics subject test " for fun." </p>
<p>People assume she will only apply to the top schools and I do not understand why. These schools may not be a good match for her and some may not be affordable(?). My daughter will find the right school for her, and if it’s an honors college at UDel ( for example), so be it. Many look at me and say " she can do better." Really?? They do not know my daughters personality so how do they know this? The best school for my kid is the one where she is HAPPY- not the highest ranked school. That angers me a lot. Many here are into rankings and I am into finding the right fit- which may be a lower ranked school. </p>
<p>I do not know how much prep is the right amount. If my kid had nothing to do all day except prep for these tests, she would most likely get an amazing score. Truth be told they have a lot going on that is equally as important. They have ECs and rigorous classes that are very time consuming. She will take the tests and then decide where she will qualify for merit, as opposed to picking a school with a certain score and then telling her she must achieve it- that would be too stressful in my house. </p>
<p>Yesterday she worked from 7 am until 10 pm with two breaks- one to run for 30 min and one to meet a friend at the library ( which was not a break- they were working- the break was the car ride). Sorry for rambling!! I just think each kid is different.</p>
<p>When I said many here are into rankings and I am into fit, I was talking about family members and snobs in my community. We have lots, unfortunately.</p>
<p>Twogirls – Of course you know your kid, but what I see at the tippy-top schools is a “work hard - play hard” attitude. My elder definitely needed to learn the play part, but now as a sophomore she’s settled in nicely. I wouldn’t be so sure that a tightly wound kid wouldn’t be better off at the top. Having other kids who are as or more capable can unwind the kid who has always worked really really hard. Or at least that’s our experience. It doesn’t have much to do with snobbery, it has to do with fit. Don’t dismiss it out of hand. (That WOULD be snobbery.)</p>
<p>In thinking about it, some kids are more likely to deal with shooting for the stars (and the inevitable disappointments) than others, and others are likely to do better with never applying, so never being rejected. We’ve always encouraged the first “go for it” behavior when it wasn’t a crazy waste of time in the nothing ventured, nothing gained approach, but I see plenty of folks who find “nothing ventured, nothing lost” the more appropriate approach.</p>
<p>Shoboe I do not have any financial advice. We filled out the FAFSA for my older kid and got an EFC that was $10,000 higher than the cost of the schools and we got a bunch of loan offers. One school offered her " free money" if she was willing to work in certain areas of the country. We turned it down. I have heard that if you have a lot of money sitting around you should spend it ( on something that you were already planning like a car) or put it somewhere if you can ( retirement account? Don’t ask me as I am not very savvy or knowledgeable). </p>
<p>Yes it’s nice that kids get paid and it gets rid of the awkwardness because friends are always asking how much she would charge them and I hate taking money from friends, yet it does not seem fair to her to give up an hour or two every week for months and months at a time for free. Going through the school gets rid of all of this. </p>
<p>NHS only gives 5 hours total for in school clubs, which is crazy since she spends 5 hours a week just on yearbook. Sports count as 15 hours. The remainder must come from outside events. </p>
<p>Some kids on CC seem to spend two hours each night on test prep and several hours each weekend day. Not sure where they get time for this.</p>
<p>IJD that is interesting and something to think about. It’s all very overwhelming to me and a lot to consider. I just assumed that a school like Cornell would be too intense for my kid because I have spoken to kids who currently attend and some are very stressed- but I suppose some are not. I also understand that some highly competitive schools have a more laid back vibe than some schools that may be ranked lower. It’s a lot to figure out.</p>
<p>I think part of the problem with my daughter applying to schools like Duke and Vanderbilt is the affordability issue. If she happens to get in I am not sure we can pay. I do not want her falling in love with such a school. We have been up front and honest with our kids from the very beginning. I am hoping she gets some merit to schools that she likes- that will make things easier. My friend said to me " but if she applies, doesn’t that mean she likes it?" I see her point- if she applies to 15 schools then she should theoretically like each school enough to go. I tried to explain to her that she is going to have her favorites in the mix.</p>
<p>My daughter has three friends who attend Cornell ( non drinkers) who tell her that the amount of drinking there is out of control. These girls are miserable with that culture and one is thinking of leaving. I fully understand that drinking happens at all schools, but I have to wonder if it’s easier to escape it if the school is in or near a city (?). That is something else to ponder…</p>
<p>I do not have an issue ( and neither does she) with applying to top tier schools and being rejected. I fully understand that schools like HPY- MIT are nearly impossible to get into. I also think that if my kid happened to get into Princeton ( I do not expect her to), then we may qualify for some FA. If that happened then of course we would visit and see if the school is a fit for her. My nephew got rejected from Y with being top 1% with perfect test scores. At that level it’s not numbers driven. I know a woman who interviews for MIT and when she hears about kids with 2400 SAT scores her response is “big deal- tell me something else.” </p>
<p>My issue is with schools that do not have the same FA as HPY. My daughter can handle being rejected from schools like Vanderbilt and UNC-CH. What I am scared of is what happens if she happens to get in and we can’t afford it? Rejection is easier ( for us, anyway). I am hoping to find a " rah rah" school where she qualifies for merit and that she really likes.</p>
<p>2girls, she can apply to schools like Vanderbilt and Duke, since they do have a few of these big scholarships they dole out. She sounds so driven. Maybe if that comes through in her scholarship essays. My D just is no good at that essay writing and S isn’t either. It’s hopeless. And neither have ECs so extraordinary that they could win based on that. My kids can get stats based scholarships, which are not the type offered by the top schools.</p>
<p>But agree with you that schools like Cornell and Northwestern that have zero scholarships and we were certain would be unaffordable for us, got taken off the list before application time.</p>
<p>I don’t know that MIT has especially good financial aid. My niece is there (benefited from the gender boost girls get) and BIL says Vanderbilt offered them much better package. MIT is just ‘regular’ what would be expected FA based on EFC.</p>
<p>
Can I just say that I applaud these teachers for this! I think sometimes the kids need a sort of ‘permission’ from the teachers to relax a little. Hearing ti from us parents sometimes just won’t have the same impact.</p>
<p>Celeste she will apply to schools like Duke and Vanderbilt and I will tell her ( again) that she would need merit aid in order to attend. I call these schools lottery schools in terms of the merit. If she gets those large awards ( kids from our school have gotten them) then she can go. As long as she fully understands this then she can apply. My daughter has good ECs but nothing super extraordinary that would knock your socks off. She will have great essays ( I think) LOR, and strong leadership. We will see what happens… But we need a back up plan!!</p>
<p>I did not realize that MIT did not give good FA. She was not planning to apply anyway LOL. Shoboe yes kudos to those teachers who sent my kid the emails. It almost made me cry.</p>
<p>2girls, I will keep my fingers crossed for you and scholarships. From your description she sounds like someone who belongs at a top school. </p>
<p>Not so sure about S. He had 3-day weekend,and thinks he studied a lot because he spent 2.5 hours on math one day. He did have 2 9-hour work shifts in the mix, but also watched Sherlock episodes with us (H just saw Star Trek last week and that made us want to watch Sherlocks again), worked out at Y a couple times and went to another gym that has ‘Sober Saturdays’ and also an indoor soccer place that had a special day-off-school session, slept a lot. I see this and think that a state school is just fine for him. </p>
<p>Though he may get home from work tonight and study until 3 am. But that is bad time management, wouldn’t do him well at a top school I’m guessing.</p>
<p>Didn’t mean that MIT has bad FA, just not HPY level. But I can’t be sure since niece didn’t get into those places so didn’t have packages from them to compare.</p>
<p>I don’t think I yet have a handle on which schools would be a reach and which might be more of a match or even safety. The HYP’s are obviously reaches for everyone, but much beyond those and the big names (Vanderbilt, Duke…) it seems less clear to me. the state schools even seem to be a mix. Univ of Florida is our flagship and used to be something of a safety, but now there are many stories of legacies with super stats not getting in, so it is definitely no longer a safety. Even when I look at other more regional state uni’s the stats make it look like it might not be a safety…match, but not safety…I’m thinking for a safety you have to be at the top of both their GPA and test score ranges.
Then, of course…we don’t know those all powerful test scores and GPA yet! Up until last year, D was was competitive to have one of the top GPAs in her school, but then things changed…stress and all that…and now she is fine with less work/stress and A’s and B’s. A ‘B’ would not have been ok with her not long ago.</p>
<p>Shoboe be happy that your daughter is fine with less work/stress- that is a good thing. You mentioned the U of Florida- that school is gaining a tremendous amount of popularity where I live, with more and more kids from our school applying. My friend’s kid goes there and she just told me that the U of F is " trying to be in the top 20 like Michigan." She asked me if my daughter will be applying and the answer is no simply because I was told that they are cutting back on their merit awards ( last year). </p>
<p>Celeste I go back and forth between thinking these top schools are good for her and then thinking they are not ( will she get nervous being surrounded by so many smart kids?). I guess we will visit and see. As long as she has a few realistic options that she is happy with then we are fine.</p>