<p>I think that you have to trust to the NPCs. Most are pretty close to what happens with your CS Profile in any event.</p>
<p>I was kind of thinking my S is a Duke kind of kid. Tossing around idea that if we visit and he likes it enough, and if (the big IF) I could relax about money enough, he could apply there ED. Their acceptance rate for ED last year was 30%, not bad. So of course this year ED apps jumped a lot. Unless they are taking more of the class that way, the rate will drop. Oh well.</p>
<p>2girls, the way you describe her HS, she is surrounded by smart kids already. Or am I misinterpreting?</p>
<p>2girls - I need to make sure my D doesn’t apply to the same schools as yours. I don’t think D can top someone like your D. :)</p>
<p>Ha FromMD I am sure she can, but thanks. All of the kids I see here seem incredibly talented.</p>
<p>celeste, I thought D might like Duke, but on the tour it seemed like they focused so much on basketball. That was a big turnoff for her. They have a lot to offer in the sciences, but we only got to stand on the road near the science buildings and hear about them over the noise of passing buses etc. Their info session at the beginning was excellent. I know they have different presenters on different days, but ours was great. I would be sure to find out ahead of time if there is a way to tour the buildings of your kid’s specific interest, or at least allow time for exploring them on your own after the tour.</p>
<p>just curious, what are YOUR experiences, in general, with college? I feel like I have so little to go on as far as what college life will be like for D.
We’ve talked often about how, when my parents were growing up, for them, college was barely a consideration. For me it was an ‘if you go to college’ sort of environment, and now for D it is just expected that she will… I sort of tried college right after high school, but wasn’t really interested, and it showed lol. Then later, after being married, went back…starting in community college then to regional state U, but never lived on campus, was not the typical college age, etc, even that was a long time ago now…so I can envision what some classes might be like, but my thoughts on campus life aren’t based on real life experiences.</p>
<p>I went away to school and I have a daughter who is a sophomore, but my D15 will not go to the school that her sister attends- very different kids. Last year she went there for siblings weekend and had a great time. She basically stayed in the dorm, watched a movie and did her Spanish project. I am a little concerned about the roommate situation. My D15 brings the word slob to a new level.</p>
<p>Kids learn to deal with a roommate. Both of mine have attended a residential school, and one of the things they both learned very early is how much mess is too much, how to live with someone who hates them, and how to cope with living with a friend who is having issues where she doesn’t want to get involved. They adjust amazingly quickly unless they go in with a feeling of entitlement (not my kids, but I’ve seen it in others). Your roommate doesn’t have to be your best friend to be a good roommate (and your best friend may make an awful roommate).</p>
<p>IJD you are right. She will have to learn how much mess is too much. She also has to learn how to study differently- she is very used to studying out loud.</p>
<p>Twogirls, your daughter and mine would be perfect and at the same time the worst possible roommates. Mine is also intense but not competitive, loves studying out loud, doesn’t enjoy typical parties, and is an awful slob!</p>
<p>shoboemom – you might like this book about what the present-day college experience is like: [Happiest</a> Kid on Campus: A Parent’s Guide to the Very Best College Experience (for You and Your Child)](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Kid-Campus-Experience/dp/B0055X4J18/ref=tmm_pap_title_0]Happiest”>http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Kid-Campus-Experience/dp/B0055X4J18/ref=tmm_pap_title_0)</p>
<p>I often give the companion book as a HS graduation gift to college-bound kids: [The</a> Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/The-Naked-Roommate-Issues-College/dp/1402280289/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1384727926&sr=8-1&keywords=naked+roommate]The”>http://www.amazon.com/The-Naked-Roommate-Issues-College/dp/1402280289/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1384727926&sr=8-1&keywords=naked+roommate)</p>
<p>3girls that is so funny! Her room is such a pig sty that I can’t imagine her living with somebody- yet her academics ( notes, projects, papers) are meticulous. It’s like a calmness inside a storm- kind of like the eye of a hurricane. She has notes from 8th grade neatly filed away yet around her are wet towels etc.</p>
<p>When I read through all the posts on this thread I am just amazed at all of the special talents, interests and abilities that these kids have. Girls who code? WOW. From violinists to star athletes to actors - you should all be very proud. </p>
<p>FromMD you paid my D a very nice compliment earlier, but the truth is that when I read about all these kids I remind myself that they are equally as competitive, if not more. Good luck to everybody as we continue through this journey together! </p>
<p>I am going to be a bit of a mess on December 7…</p>
<p>Shoboe, I also don’t have any real sense what constitutes a safety or a match these days, at least not for my D. It seems to have changed completely since my older two applied. I think it’s a very good thing that your D has learned to handle Bs along with the As. It’s a very important skill and each and every kid here is going to have to learn how to deal with disappointments and set backs along the way. In my own mind, resilience is the key to happiness and forward movement. (And be happy she’s not like my eldest who was fine with Cs! That girl was completely unmotivated by grades–very frustrating for a parent!)</p>
<p>Twogirls, you have to keep in mind that your D is going to be driven no matter where she goes to school. I’m with you 100% about finding a school that promotes balance but I’m not sure that there’s any clear way to find it.</p>
<p>Celeste, we are huge Sherlock fans! We didn’t find the series until just a few months ago and we watched it marathon style. Now we are waiting anxiously for January when the next season starts up again.</p>
<p>3girls you hit the nail on the head. She will be that way whether she is at Harvard or the local community college- it’s just who she is. I am not really sure what balance means these days. I feel that a school that does not have a competitive atmosphere would be best. </p>
<p>I keep hearing " work hard play hard." What is that exactly? My daughters idea of fun is to go to dinner and discuss a book, and then go to a football game and come home at a reasonable hour so she can get back to work. I don’t think she will ever " play hard." It’s not who she is. </p>
<p>My older daughter was also not motivated by grades while in high school. She is starting to get motivated now… During her sophomore year!! Better late than never.</p>
<p>To clarify my last post where I said I didn’t know what was a match or safety for my daughter, I don’t know what constitutes a match or safety for anyone! What was in my head when I wrote was that I assumed that the state system would be D’s safety. The problem is that we live in a state I don’t really understand and I’m hearing all sorts of nightmare stories about the state universities and overcrowding, lack of ability to graduate within 4 years, increased competition to get in in the first place. By contrast, UConn honors had just started wooing kids back when my older girls were applying and because of the school they were attending, they were all but assured entry and $$$ if they applied. The kids going were great kids and the program was wonderful. It was a no brainer.</p>
<p>Once you start looking at private schools, I’m not convinced that the traditional labels of safety, match, reach continue to apply. There are too many variables, both on the side of the school and on the side of the student and parents.</p>
<p>3girls you live in a Connecticut? UConn is another one of those OOS state schools that is very popular in our HS. It’s not an inexpensive school for OOS- about $41,000. Some want money but I would imagine that UConn takes care of in state kids before helping OOS kids (?). </p>
<p>When my older daughter was thinking about SUNY Buffalo we kept getting flyers that guaranteed graduation in 4 years. Really? I thought for the most part kids generally do graduate in 4 years, with some exceptions. I remember being crazy and getting nervous about whether she would get into a state school. She got into all of the state schools she applied to.</p>
<p>We did live there but no longer. We’re on the other coast now and learning all about the UC (California) system. What I understand is that it’s not a given that a student can graduate in 4 years here. I’m not sure how widespread a problem that is. I’ve also been told that the schools are trying to boost revenue by accepting the maximum numbers of out of state and international (full pay) students allowable. </p>
<p>I don’t know how things are now but back in 2006 and 2008, kids applying to UConn EA from my older girls’ school got full tuition and automatic admission to the honors program. That meant special housing, special programs/classes, priority registration for classes, and very accomplished peers. The school definitely did give priority to instate kids then. I guess I was spoiled then-it was practically handed to us.</p>
<p>mihcal1, Thank you for the book suggestions! I had heard of the Naked Room mate one, but not the other. I have added it to my shopping cart. ;-)</p>
<p>On the safeties/matches…it seems to me the better word might be ‘qualified’. There are many schools that our kids’ stats qualify them for, but that doesn’t guarantee they will get in. </p>
<p>That takes me back to the conversation about retaking the tests to get a higher score. I think it’s just that people want the kids to qualify for as many schools as possible to expand their options. If they have a list of schools they are hoping for and already have those qualifying stats, there is no need to retake, but if you are still trying to come up with that list, better stats can help. </p>
<p>I am glad that D is not upset with B’s, but I also wonder if she will end up being upset with herself for getting them in classes where, just a little more effort could have gotten her an A, and then a better overall GPA. But yes…I do think not stressing out over a couple B’s is a good thing. It’s funny we were talking about this the other day…work habits, etc and she said she felt like she had gone to the other extreme from where she had been…she had to be perfect, etc and now not too worried about getting all her homework done, and happy with some B’s…yeah…the other EXTREME lol. I will definitely take B’s as an extreme. I’ve seen a couple of her grades temporarily dip into “C” territory. That’s when I start sending up alert signals. Just this weekend I looked up her grades for the first time in a while and saw a C (middle of the term…plenty of time) and when I told her, I could tell by her reaction she is not happy with anything lower than a B. Turns out the teacher recorded a quiz as a 0 that D has in her notebook, graded…not a 0! So hopefully that will take care of that one.</p>
<p>I know next to nothing about other state schools, but not graduating in 4 years seems to be a pretty common concern. I have heard schools refer to it by reassuring parents that the kids can get the classes they need to graduate. I’ve heard one of our state schools Univ of Central Fl (another one of our huge state schools) UCF, referred to as U Can’t Finish.</p>