<p>Funny Shoboe ( although not really). My older daughter is registering for classes for next year ( junior year ) and she is getting closed out of classes that she needs. One is in her major- they promised it to her senior year if she can’t get it next year. </p>
<p>I keep on top of the grades by checking on line. Both of my kids have had mistakes in the past.</p>
<p>*shoboemom: just curious, what are YOUR experiences, in general, with college? I feel like I have so little to go on as far as what college life will be like for D. *a</p>
<p>shoboemom, I am assuming you mean for us personally, so here goes. I was a good student in high school (and college) but not tippy-top. I went to a state school about an hour from home. My parents paid a little for college, but mostly I went on loans. (And honestly, that never phased me. I think it was like play money. It was much less expensive then, but with law school loans added on top of those I didn’t pay my loans off until I was almost 40!) I never even considered schools other than those in my state. Never visited anywhere, etc. I wish I had, but it just wasn’t what we did back then in my family.</p>
<p>For me, college was a time of tremendous personal growth. I really look at it for me - and my D - as a time to start being more of an adult but in a somewhat protected environment. I didn’t pay as much attention to my studies as I should have (still did fine), and did lots of stupid things. The amount of personal freedom was incredible, but at the same time I worried enough about grades that I never let things go too far. So for me, college was just the first (but important) step on the way to adulthood, but had very little to do with where I landed professionally. Hope that makes sense and is somewhat helpful.</p>
<p>3girls, I just checked- Jan 19th. Ack, so excited. I haven’t been keeping up. I knew one was in Star Trek and the other in Hobbit and heard that put them way back for Sherlock. The way it’s gone before, I figured it could be another year. </p>
<p>We’ve had grade trouble. The semester D graduated they messed up 2 grades. We found out right at graduation time, and the offices were packing up and moving to a middle school for the summer because of HS remodelling, so it was a hassle. We needed a correct final transcript to send to her university. It didn’t affect the honors in ceremony since that is based on 7th semester GPA, but it was traumatic for D.</p>
<p>She signed up for P/F gym and they lost the form. She danced better than anyone in the class but didn’t do her journals so well, her bit of senioritis. She thought it wouldn’t matter if she got a B since it would turn into P. They don’t have extra copies anywhere or anything in computer, just a binder full of the forms. She was going to give up, but another kid with the same problem went to the office himself and searched through all the papers and found the lost forms, D’s included.</p>
<p>D’s French teacher, who is known to hate dealing with computers and ‘infinite campus’ couldn’t get the grades entered 3rd quarter so the secy had to do some kind of patch to get them in. But it messed up the percentages in some invisible way and all of a sudden D had a B at semester’s end. It messed up everyone’s grades, but we were the only ones to complain. Maybe others got a boost that way.</p>
<p>So we weren’t surprised when CB lost part of the APUSH test and gave her a 2. Stuff like this happens to us ALL the time. Her university made a mistake assigning AP credit for that class and just got that corrected recently.</p>
<p>2girls, when people said that the priority registration is a valuable perk of honors college, I didn’t understand at first. Now I am realizing just how valuable it is. D and the rest of honors kids get to register before everyone else, with athletes and veterans.</p>
<p>Shoboe, I think you are right about the idea of being qualified for admission but not knowing if that will be enough to get you in. The uncertainty leads to kids taking and retaking these standardized tests in an attempt to add some control to a process that doesn’t really lend itself to control. It seems reasonable at first blush that a higher score makes you more qualified and it definitely makes sense to get the scores as high as possible. Within reason. But it gets out of hand (IMO) when you see posts such as one I read recently, where a kid is worrying that his 760 or 770 M SAT I score won’t be good enough to get him into Caltech. There’s no guarantee that a different administration of the test would yield a better result and wouldn’t the rest of the application be more important than working to get a perfect 800? This is such a changing landscape that I honestly don’t know the answer anymore.</p>
<p>UCF! That is funny! I didn’t realize this was a common problem.</p>
<p>I applied to four colleges and chose one, sight unseen. It was a state school about 8 hours away from my house and it was huge ( more than 20,000). Given the fact that I was so quiet in HS, my teachers could not understand how I could pick such a big school. One teacher told me she thought I needed a small school with about 2,000 kids. It never occurred to me that I should be at a small school- a large one would give me the ability to get lost in the crowd, which I liked. I did not like attention drawn to me. I turned my big school into a small school ( like they say on the tours, although back then there was no tour) by making a very nice group of friends. I studied but did my share of frat parties. Some of my lecture halls were huge- over 300 kids, which I hated ( even though it allowed me to get lost in the shuffle) - did poorly in those classes because my study habits were just not up to speed with the other kids in the class. Years ago they hung up our grades on the wall and showed them according to our SS#- how things change! Once I got into my major my classes were small- about 25 kids. I liked it much better because now the professors knew me by name and went to bat for me. I did much better in those classes and got very used to being put on the spot in front of others. </p>
<p>I remember my psych 101 class had well over 300 kids in a huge lecture hall. After a break we came back to school and it was announced that the professor was killed in a car accident so we have a new teacher. I remember thinking how sad this was that we never really had a chance to know this man given that the class was so large. It struck me as odd that nobody in the class reacted to this news- we all just moved on. Meanwhile I went on my schools website recently and my professors are still there. That’s a good thing I suppose- lack of turnover. </p>
<p>3girls I read that one too ( 760- Caltech). I get so caught up in what I read here that I am beginning to think this is normal. If my daughter is lucky enough to get 760’s on her sections I guarantee you she will not be retaking the tests a second time despite the fact that I paid already. Last year our #2 went to an Ivy ( she was accepted to both P and MIT) and she retook a 2300+ SAT score to try for the 2400. At that level a lot is just based on luck, as one question gained or missed can be 40 points.</p>
<p>so much to read, but so little to contribute (that’s why I lurk) and I’m intimidated by everyone’s children. </p>
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<p>I think the reason why I’m so involved in D’s pre-college preparation is that I never had college choices. I never went through this college search, matching process. My father was a faculty member at Penn. My parents, I think, didn’t realize how expensive college could be until my brother got into Harvard. The family went over the finances and our parents finally said to my brother, “we can’t afford Harvard. If we send you there, we won’t have any money left for your siblings” I believe my brother’s response was “So?”</p>
<p>With that precedent set, all of us went to Penn for undergrad because it was free. Back in the 70s, Penn wasn’t so selective (I don’t think any college had insane acceptance rates of today) - according to my brother, acceptance rate was 40-50%.</p>
<p>My college experience has definitely affected the way I am guiding D. Fit is the top priority way over prestige (not even a consideration). Penn had a lot of very driven, very smart, very focused students who knew what they wanted to do. It seemed to me every one was in business, engineering or were premed, prelaw, predental, prevet. (twogirls, your daughter would have fit in very well - they all worked hard and played hard. It was common for kids to study on weekends until 10pm and then go out.). I was not like that at all. I wanted to study a bit of everything. I didn’t have a particular focus. I may have done better to go to a small, less intense LAC.</p>
<p>Class size ranged from 500 (Intro biology) to 12 (upper level math class) with the bulk around 50. I was unsure of myself and felt lost; I felt it was an impersonal environment with no advising or guidance. Long story short, academically, college was a disaster for me. I graduated with a low GPA but somehow managed to get into good graduate programs. Because my father was there and so many kids from my high school attended, it did have a touch of High School, Part Deux feel. I felt grad school in Atlanta was the time I really took off socially and academically, much like how others describe their undergraduate college experience. It was a time I was on my own, couldn’t depend on my parents, and while I made mistakes, I made good friends. Professors were very accessible and I often talked to them outside of class (although we tried not to to disturb them when we ran into them on dates)</p>
<p>As for safety/match/reach - I’m beginning to view all schools as matches or reaches. While there are plenty of colleges we can afford and it looks like D can get admitted fairly easily, I can’t say any are guaranteed admissions for her (especially with her test scores). She has a good story for ECs, probably good recs, and her grades are improving (but no where near what I see here). I like the term ‘qualified’ - it makes more sense because nothing seems to be guaranteed.</p>
<p>On the talk of Honors colleges this morning this popped up on my fb newsfeed</p>
<p>[GoLocalWorcester</a> | Lifestyle | College Admissions: 4 Elite Honors Programs in the East](<a href=“GoLocalWorcester | College Admissions: 4 Elite Honors Programs in the East”>GoLocalWorcester | College Admissions: 4 Elite Honors Programs in the East)</p>
<p>Totally agree with celeste about the priority registration for honors students at some state universities. When D was looking at schools I thought it was a nice but didn’t think it was all that important. Now, I think it will be both an incentive for DS to be in an honors college/program and a factor to be considered in choosing the school.</p>
<p>Thanks for that link Sally. I know kids who have gone to all four of those places, all of which are top flight. UVM is just too cold for me personally but if you like cold, Burlington is a vibrant, active city in a picturesque, beautiful setting. It’s really a perfect match for those who like urban but also like nature. </p>
<p>I agree, priority registration is a huge deal. I didn’t realize how huge either until I read more and watched my girls juggle their schedules to make them fit and get the classes they needed. Each of them had to attend classes they were closed out of and beg the professor for admission.</p>
<p>Slackermom, I wonder if we all feel intimidated by everyone else’s children? I’m really awed by these kids and their accomplishments. You are too hard on yourself and on your D who sounds plenty impressive. She has improving grades in a really selective and demanding program, good ECs and good LORs! The test scores have time to go up if needed. My older two went to a school where the average grade in any given class was a B- and As were not given out easily. B+s and A-s were good grades. Colleges seemed to understand this and the gpa was treated differently than it would have been if it had come from a grade inflated school. </p>
<p>My college story is a blend of your brother’s and twogirls’. I think I’ve referred to it before: I applied to my private dream school, got in, spent a day thrilled at the prospect of going, and then was told my parents wouldn’t be able to afford to send me and also send my two younger sibs to college. As a result, I ended up at a state university which was all but free to attend, thanks to the Regents Scholarship. Like twogirls, I wanted to be invisible so the beginning large classes were fine with me. But it felt like nothing more than a blend of high school and summer camp and I just didn’t fit in. I know there were smart kids there but the dominant feel was not an intellectual one. I graduated with a 4.0 and I never felt that the bar was set so high that I had to sweat. I was still the geeky, awkward “brain” that I’d been up until then. I did find a group of friends there eventually and had some experiences that were and are important milestones–I spent my junior year abroad and then spent another semester at an internship off campus. But I shudder looking back. I moved away from the area where I’d grown up and never moved back. Long ago there was a thread on cc about my alma mater and how much we all hated it. </p>
<p>My sister had a better experience because she chose a small public program within a larger private school. She says that she looks back and can’t believe how lost she was at the time. My brother, the youngest, was smarter. He refused to look at my alma mater. Literally refused to get out of the car when my parents drove up! He was always a lot cleverer than I was and he found a way to get my parents to allow him to attend a highly regarded OOS public university.</p>
<p>slackermom. for sure you shouldn’t feel intimidated by my kids, at any rate. They are just regular kids. Really. And this is the truth- getting good grades and test scores can be a mark of high intellect. Or it can be a sign that you know how to psych out test-makers and figure out teachers to get good grades in their classes. I would say my kids fall squarely in the latter camp. That’s why my D got waitlisted at Chicago. They could tell. It’s what they do for a living, sift and winnow. Her essay writing doesn’t bespeak great depth, passion and fire. My kids are ordinary run-of-the-mill smart kids. I know because we have some extraordinary kids around here for comparison. S went to middle school with some of them at our local private school for… smart kids. That’s the only reason he gets involved with stuff at the HS like link crew, peer partners, tutoring, key club. Because they get him involved. Or the teachers do. For fun he likes to hang with his buddies, walk around the mall and talk to girls, attend sporting events, play sports, watch movies.</p>
<p>I actually had the kind of college search experience that D is having, with some changes due to technology and my being more involved than my parents were. I went to a private high school in NYC on a scholarship after applying to 8 schools as an 8th grader. Applying to the high schools was just like applying to college - apps, essays, interviews, spend a day following a student, the whole bit. </p>
<p>So by my senior year I was ready to do it again. My high school was tiny so we had one college counselor, also a teacher, who handled the 40 of us. I applied to 8…3 SUNYs (one app) and 5 private colleges all of which are pretty popular on CC these days. I got into all but the two Ivys and took the most prestigious LAC that gave me an almost full ride.</p>
<p>I left after a semester - an hour and a half from NYC was way too far for me, as it turned out. I hated the small college, the small college “city”. I moved back to the city, got my own apartment, took a year off and worked, went at night to a college well known in fashion industry circles while I worked a fulltime job during the day, then finished at a CUNY. </p>
<p>My son looks to be following my pattern already…D, well, we’ll see.</p>
<p>I am finding these college stories very interesting!</p>
<p>Me too Suzy. It’s interesting, and sometimes surprising, and reminds me that we all come at things with different experience and different perspectives…and there is no one way to ‘get there’.</p>
<p>I got my masters from a CUNY - accepted on probation because they were not sure if I would be able to keep up. This particular CUNY is ( or at least was) a top school for my field. I am happy to report that I made it despite the grueling program. I had at least 5 or six job offers a week coming out of grad school. </p>
<p>Slacker I also feel intimidated by everyone’s kids. My older D is a typical 19 year old college student attending a SUNY school and loving it. She had what I consider to be a typical HS experience- average student, varsity sports, lots of friends, very very social, did all of her work but did not go the extra mile, etc. My D15 is very different, yet typical in her own way. Very driven and motivated, gets excellent grades, does not enjoy hanging out and shopping ( like her sister does) and considers herself to be a " nerd." She is part of that " smart kids" group at school, while her sister better known as a " sports kid." What makes my daughter so difficult, and what stresses me out as a parent, is her intensity level and meltdowns. Thankfully they have gotten better. In second grade the class was doing a math problem. My daughter and the classroom aide got one answer, while the teacher and the rest of the class got another answer. When the teacher told my kid she was wrong she ( my daughter) could not handle the frustration of everybody not understanding why she believed she was right. Turns out my kid was right ( as we found out later on), but in school she had such a meltdown due to frustration that she had to sit on the teacher’s lap all day in order to calm down. My daughter could work for hours ( 10+) without taking a break. I do not know where she gets this from. I would give anything just to unravel her a little bit. I get intimidated by the kids I read about here who seem to do it all yet keep it all together in the process. Like I said earlier, thankfully the meltdowns are much less frequent- maybe maturity is kicking in.</p>
<p>I also am enjoying reading about your college experiences. I know my obsessing about college for my kids is bc I don’t want them to go into it blindly like I did. I was your typical underachiever in HS. Why study and get an A when you can do almost nothing and get a B? I just didn’t get it. I went to a state school in Virginia bc very much like my D, I had no desire to go upstate to a SUNY school. The problem was it wasn’t the right school for me. It was a commuter school and over half the freshman floor went home every weekend. I met friends from other states and hung out with them but it was lonely. Freshman and Sophomore classes were 300 people in lecture halls and while I liked the anonymity, it was hard to make friends that way. I didn’t meet my good friends until I hit the smaller major’s classes in junior year. School became more enjoyable at that point. Then the unthinkable happened at the end of junior year…my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She insisted I go back to Va. and finish school. That was when reality hit and I realized I can’t screw around anymore. I studied my ass off and made Dean’s list. I decided to apply to law school and figured out how to get a scholarship for an LSAT class. The amount of growing up I did after that diagnosis was incredible. The beginning of 2nd semester senior year I drove home 5 hours every weekend to see my mother in her final stages. She passed away in Feb. of that semester. I made Dean’s List again, rocked the LSAT and got into a law school close to home.</p>
<p>And this is where my baggage comes in for my kids…I do not want them more than a 7-8 hour car ride away. When my D and H were talking about Stanford a few months ago, I hid in the kitchen and cried my eyes out bc she’ll have no way to get home every weekend if something terrible like that happens. They don’t get it and they think I’m being silly and overprotective but it’s a real requirement for me. There are a hundred phenomenal schools within 7-8 hours of this house and I want her to pick one of them. Thank God she probably won’t get into Stanford!!</p>
<p>And add my D to the list of slobs. Now I won’t win any Good Housekeeping awards but her room looks like it’s been ransacked most of the time! Could there be an inverse relationship to GPA and tidiness?</p>
<p>@keepmecruisin - Wow. Just wow. Amazing that you were there for your mom and did her proud by finishing strong. I don’t know how I would have handled that kind of situation while I was in school. </p>
<p>My school story:
My parents were not college grads. They attended a one-year training program and worked in a well known church/charity organization. Money was definitely not available for school. Somehow, by the grace of God, I ended up with the money to pay for a fairly decent private university conservatory music school. I had academic scholarships, need-based aid, some other grants & loans, and paid the rest myself. (I was still paying for my loans when I met and eventually married my DH several years after graduation.) I visited just one other college during high school (not counting visiting my sister’s college) before deciding to only apply to one school. I remember one of my peers at schooling being shocked by this. I was pretty clueless about a lot of things in college, but I do know that I was at least aware of the fact that I wanted a music degree, not just a teaching degree with a music minor. The “other” school I went to visit offered the latter and so I decided not to apply to it. I also remember reading about my program in the handbook. I most likely did a lot of color-coded highlighting on degree plan. </p>
<p>Now: I love reading the college websites and getting as much information I can about the various programs. I did this like crazy for my older D. It really helped me to give her advice throughout the process. I’ve already started do this for D’15 as well, but she’s not quite as settled on a major as her sister was at this point. I could be doing all of this research for nothing and have to shift gears if she changes her mind in the near future. (And yes, I’m still using colored highlighters on degree plans. It’s a sickness, really.)</p>
<p>Keepme that is quite a story. It’s amazing how our childhood/ teen experiences help shape us into who we are today. W2 sounds like you are very organized with all that highlighting! </p>
<p>A few months ago we went to dinner with some close friends who know my kids very well- our kids are the same ages. I commented on how my daughter is a slob beyond which anybody could ever imagine and it does not match her school work ( perfectionist etc). The husband looked at me and said " well something’s gotta give." It was then that I stopped caring about her messiness ( although it makes my husband crazy) because I realized that she may need it to balance her just a bit. Everything in her life can’t always be perfect and organized. </p>
<p>BTW- I won’t be winning any Good Housekeeping awards either. Going to work, dealing with my kids, keeping up with the laundry and putting something to eat on the table every night is about all I can handle. If my house is messy, it’s just going to stay that way LOL.</p>
<p>Keepme. If it makes you feel better I have also told my kids they can not apply in California. We are in the Midwest and I KNOW if they go out there they will NEVER come back! My d13 is a 8 hour car ride away now but if is manageable.</p>
<p>Emory softball showcase update:</p>
<p>D2 enjoyed the program. Loved the campus. Program was a mix of softball and a college tour. Liked the girls on the Emory team. Her tour guide played softball, in a sorority, was taking 21hrs of class… oh and still had time for a boyfriend. Not sure when the girl sleeps! She was very impressed with the new freshman dorms. D1 went to debate camp at Emory about 5 years ago and the dorms were awful. Softball girl remembers them.These dorms have since been demolished and replaced.</p>
<p>We held our breath awaiting her thoughts. Nope- she still doesn’t want to play in college- whew!!!</p>
<p>She was thrilled to receive a nice email from the Emory coach asking her if she was still interested in playing for Emory requesting her transcript/ updated SAT scores etc. It is nice for her to feel " loved".</p>